Finding your own purpose in helping others

[Music]

so

every day we come across that person

whether it’s a classmate trying to

understand their homework assignment

a friend needing someone to talk to or a

homeless person struggling to survive

we are left with a choice should i help

them

or should i pretend as if i didn’t see

anything and move on my day

it may not affect us at that time and

place but if you can’t see the bigger

picture

or the benefit that comes from helping

others we are left with not only one

but two disappointed people

without caring for the well-being of

others we deprive ourselves of love

and diminish our sense of belonging in

the community

imagine smiling at your friends and

family or even the strangers on the

street

you have a nice conversation where you

encourage and empower them to be the

best version of themselves

at the end of the day everyone is not

only thankful

but also happier and healthier because

they know

that someone out there cares

this does sound idealistic and you might

be thinking

the world isn’t that simple and yes it

isn’t

but having a simple goal makes it a

little bit easier to progress

forward today i will be talking about

the importance of being more willing to

help others in need

followed by a mindset we should adopt to

ensure that we can help others

successfully

and selflessly when i was a child

i visited india during the summers and i

would love going out to the mall

and to my cousin’s place my family and i

traveled in an auto rickshaw a

transportation vehicle

the delhi streets were lively filled

with colorful banners

small shops and people of all different

ages

the cars were honking and they were

breathing past us

and i could hear the faint twinkling

sound coming from the temples in the

background

i spent the rickshaw ride looking

outside

observing the scenery and talking to my

family

but when i saw the traffic lights turned

red

we paused i noticed homeless children

parents and grandparents walking from

car to car

asking for money at that moment

i felt embarrassed i suddenly watched

them

go to the rickshaw next to ours knocking

on the side frame of the rickshaw

pleading for the passenger’s attention

but being dismissed

right away then they came to our

rickshaw

i didn’t know what to do the girl

who looked younger than me was holding

her baby sister

in her arms she held out her palm

but i slowly shaked my head

she spoke softly please didi

which means please sister in hindi

i’m sorry i said turning away to avoid

looking into her eyes

the traffic lights then turned green and

the rickshaw

started up again leaving the two sisters

behind

from the roadway full of cars puffing

smoke

i was surprised when i saw

that the children didn’t have any

reaction

they didn’t look shocked or sad

it seemed as if rejection was normal to

them

being an indian child born in the u.s

and raised in japan i was privileged to

have an international experience

and to have received an opportunity to

study at a japanese

school to an extent i was happy with my

life

i was extremely grateful but i realized

that whenever i would return to india

i would view the homeless children on

the streets as inferior

i was constantly told that they didn’t

have jobs because they refused to work

hard

and that even when they were given money

they used it to purchase alcohol

or drugs

they don’t deserve the attention

soon enough i came to believe that as

well

i started to develop a superiority

complex

where i justified my superiority

compared to those in poverty

even if it wasn’t intentional

i wanted to be a kinder person but my

motivation in helping others

was not selfless i did it because i

wanted to feel good about myself

but you might think that this is

counterintuitive

how can you be selfish and selfless at

the same time

should you be selfish in order to be

selfless

these are completely opposite words but

as human beings

we have the capacity to inherit both

behaviors

the question comes down to how we can

utilize both behaviors

for the better

first we need to let go of the

expectation that our intentions have to

be perfectly selfless

when i first started helping those in

need i did feel good about myself

and i was thinking about the praises i

would receive afterwards

my main goal was simply to make an

impact without focusing on my intentions

although our intentions may be selfish

in the beginning

we gradually do gain the ability to

become selfless

the more we help people the more natural

it feels

helping others becomes a habit

unconsciously we start to focus our

attention on the people we’re helping

instead of the benefits we gain from it

the process of selflessness begins there

when the benefits we gain

become the mere side effect of our

actions

not the main goal there are many reasons

as to why we don’t help others in need

in large groups of people we feel that

we don’t need to help other people

because someone else might do it as well

other times we don’t want to do

something that is completely different

to what others are doing

because we rely on our surroundings to

make these decisions

if your group of friends ignores someone

that’s in need

why should you we are influenced by

these details

when it comes to doing something that

does not conform to societal norms

on the other hand it might not always be

practical to help

every person that we see

according to psychology today when our

emotional costs are deemed too high

we are far less inclined to exhibit

adaptive helping behavior

for example if you are going through

problems of your own

or were not feeling well you would not

be able to devote as much energy

or provide the right support for another

person

previously i ignored the children that

would come

asking for help i hesitated in taking

that step

because of the numerous stereotypes that

i was taught about people in poverty

however i was determined to make changes

when i encountered similar children a

few years later

i started focusing on taking small

actions

like carrying candies in my pocket

when i gave a little girl a piece of

haichu

for example she first looked very

confused by the tiny gray colored block

i placed on her hands

but then when she realized it was candy

she smiled

ate the candy and moved on to the next

car i felt accomplished and was

encouraged to help more people

yes my main goal in the beginning was to

make an impact

while feeling good about myself but as i

kept trying to do

random acts of kindness each day it

became

like the desire i had to care for the

well-being of others

overpowered the selfish intentions

we all have the capacity to be selfish

and selfless

in fact we need to be both

in my case selflessness was a process

a goal that i wanted to achieve but

before i could even think about that

i had to embrace the idea that being

selfish

was okay this was how i discovered my

own purpose in helping others

that’s not to say that there is an end

goal or limit

to how we can become a better person

because that will always be

a work in progress

bringing out little pieces of candy and

giving small

change was a small step but it was a

step in the right direction

i began to recognize our role in helping

people

and was more excited to do so

even then now that i’m thousands of

miles away from india where i first

learned about this

i am still able and i’m trying to apply

those habits in my everyday school

setting

consider the teaspoon of change movement

teaspoons of change are defined as small

but significant ideas

attitudes and actions that have a

positive impact on the planet

the small changes we make in our

everyday life

will accumulate into large changes this

way

we can make a profound difference on

those around us

if we make helping others a habit it

will be amazing

five years ago the united nations

announced their goal to eradicate

poverty by 2030

however the world poverty clock has

claimed

that there are still 720 million people

living under extreme poverty today

although substantial efforts are being

made to help tackle this issue

we are still facing a step back due to

the devastating effects of the kova 19

pandemic

it may not always be feasible to donate

to charities or organizations

but we can still control the small

actions we take each day

during this pandemic many people are

helping those who are most vulnerable

by for example delivering medicine

groceries or daily necessities

children are like writing letters to

elderly homes

and students are raising awareness about

social distancing

this shows that we really do need

everyone’s cooperation

and that we need to use our privilege to

help others overcome their own

challenges

as well so that we can create a stronger

community

together if we make

helping others a habit you’re not only

creating value in your interactions

but you’re also increasing the

probability of having a world

where more children could receive a

better education

students could feel confident

adults could pursue their dreams

and more people could have a higher

standard of living

with that now it’s time to ask yourself

how can you make an impact by helping

others and what steps can you take to do

it more often

we all have the capacity to be selfless

so now is a time to start small and keep

building on it

thank you