Finding Your Purpose Other Urban Legends

[Music]

did you know that studies show

that people who have a strong sense of

purpose

about their lives while they make more

money

they also live longer they have better

sleep

they have a lower risk for dementia

they have fewer heart attacks and

strokes

studies also show that people who are

searching for their life purpose

well they have a higher degree of

worsening their health

both physically and mentally

so on one hand if you know your purpose

you’re going to be happier healthier and

wealthier

and on the other hand if you don’t know

your purpose

well you’re pretty much screwed

sorry

imagine waking up in the morning every

morning

knowing exactly that what you’re doing

here

on the planet knowing exactly what you

were created for and you were fulfilling

it

can you imagine the confidence that you

would feel about

every decision that you make because

you’re in perfect alignment

with your divine purpose

well you don’t have to imagine that

because by the end of this talk

you can actually walk away with your

purpose

i believe that each one of us has a

divine purpose

that it is our right and our destiny to

live that purpose and that the world

would be a much better place to live if

we were all

living our purpose

i want you to think about whether you

know your purpose

what is it what could it possibly be

now i’m not the only one that believes

this you know this has been coming

through the ages

all the greats have said something about

the purpose

your purpose how to find your purpose

buddha said in fact that your purpose is

actually to find your purpose

gandhi said find purpose the means will

follow

i like that mark twain quote about the

two most important days of your life is

one the day you were born and two the

day you find out why

well that’s all great because well every

seminar that i’ve been to in the last 10

years

whether it be professional or personal

development

they all want to know your purpose it’s

all about finding that purpose because

why

if you know your purpose wow

everything’s going to fall into place

right

i mean your business is going to take

off and you’re never going to have to

work another day in your life you’re

going to be working your passion you’re

going to make a gazillion dollars and

you’re going to be so happy you’re gonna

marry the right person

everything’s gonna fall into place

i paid a lot for those seminars

we want to have and know that we’re

doing the right thing

we want to know our purpose it’s innate

but the problem is

only 25 according to those studies

actually have any clue about what their

purpose is

the rest of us we don’t have a clue

and we keep searching and searching and

searching

i often work with mission-driven

entrepreneurs who want to make

a difference in the world and i love

working with these people because

they’re driven

they’re passionate they want to make a

difference and they’re out there

doing it they’re doing their best

the problem is that there’s this

underlying angst

that they’re maybe not quite doing their

purpose or

maybe it’s not the right purpose or

maybe their purpose isn’t big enough

and it really wears on them and those

are the people who actually know their

purpose

the ones who don’t they go from niche to

niche to niche

trying to find the right project the

right product

that was actually going to show them

what their purpose is

well i work with these people and my

client carol

she was very similar in that she had a

passion project

that she really wanted to turn into a

business and make it flourish but

it wasn’t as successful as she wanted it

to be

so she you know i mean it made sense

because after all she

was so busy working on everything else

and she was helping her husband built

his business she had a huge family and

elderly parents she took care of and she

had kids she had

outside investments that she had to

manage

she was so busy that and she was

exhausted all the time

she felt awful she felt unfulfilled

she was really wearing on her body her

body was always sore

she didn’t know what to do

the real cost of her putting her dreams

on hold

were far greater than that and i was

about to find out

why in my own life you see i was a lot

like carol

really super busy my hands were in

everything

i was working with my husband on

building our family business

i was teaching kickboxing and having fun

i was

you know doing things with my family and

my kids

my grandkids trying to really do

everything i also had my own coaching

business

which was a full-time job i was doing on

the side

i was so busy until one day

it all fell apart

it was a thursday morning i got up early

to pay some bills and i was

sitting down at my computer and i was

online going through some credit card

statements when i came across

this expense that i didn’t recognize and

with a little further investigation

i saw that it was for an apartment in

hawaii

for a month that’s strange

is my husband going to try and take me

on a vacation our business is closed

things are really tough right now

because we’re in the middle of a

pandemic

and why why would he do that without

talking to me

i looked a little further and sure

enough there was airline reservations

but they were for one one way

that’s how i found out my husband was

moving to hawaii

now he said he wasn’t leaving me i mean

it’s a free world you can

come if you want to but he was leaving

and the next two weeks were a complete

blur

there was dividing up of accounts and

assets and

there was packing and shipping vehicles

and i was completely numb

i didn’t know what to do

i mean it wasn’t just about being left

or

it wasn’t about another person it was

about who

am i if i’m not taking care of someone

else if i’m

not working a business that’s making a

difference in other people’s lives then

what am i doing and what is my value

and why am i here

i became severely depressed and i went

to bed

and i didn’t want to get out

i wanted my burning bush moment

okay i wanted the heavens to open up and

tell me what my purpose was

i needed written instructions now okay

like

a stone tablet would be nice

but there was no burning bush there was

no voice

there was no tablet there was only

silence

it got so bad that one night i was

laying in bed it was about four o’clock

in the morning

and my heart is pounding out of my chest

it’s shaking the bed

i’m laying on my stomach is in knots my

head is throbbing

my throat is sore my eyes are completely

burning from

crying and screaming and writhing in

pain

i just didn’t think i could go on i

didn’t know what i was doing

i felt completely lost completely on my

own

and i said to myself mel seriously

is this what you’re doing is this what’s

actually happening

is this what you’re going to do

you may not know your purpose

but what do you want your purpose to be

what do i want my purpose to be

and it was in that moment that i decided

today was the day

i realized the power of choice

you know that’s what carol did too

carol made the decision that she was an

artist

she decided that her purpose was to

bring

beauty into the world and to share that

with

everyone and bring the artist in to

everyone

bring the artist out of everyone around

her she became a best-selling author

she started making an income from that

art business

and was able to spend less time at it so

she could be with her family

in this process i learned a lot about

what is purpose

your purpose is not lost okay you don’t

have to go find it’s not hiding on you

it’s actually inside of you

your purpose isn’t going to be delivered

to you from some outside source

there isn’t some predetermined destiny

that’s going to happen

for you and to you

and your purpose is not just one thing

it’s going to change and evolve and you

can actually change it at will

your purpose is your decision it’s

actually an integration

of who you are with what you’re doing

it’s not about what you’re doing

it’s about those values that make you

you

integrating what’s my purpose

well i couldn’t come up with one on my

own so i decided to borrow one from one

of the greats

mother teresa said that we all have a

purpose

it’s to love and be loved

i like that it works for me right now

because it’s more about being than it is

about doing

i’ve been doing enough doing

so i’m going to wear that one for a

while until

i decide something else because it’s

just that simple

how about for you do you know what your

purpose is

well it’s just time to pick one because

the dirty little secret about purpose

is that you just make it up

just pick something anything doesn’t

matter it can be

small can be something sweet it can be

big it doesn’t matter

just decide because it’s coming from

that intention of what your purpose is

that’s going to actually make you

wealthier healthier and happier

at the end of the day it’s not about

whether you have purpose or whether

you’re searching

for purpose it’s that you’re living

purposefully

purpose fully

thank you

you