How a simple question can influence your conversation

[Music]

i know

something you may not know

my name is ravi mehr i am a hypnotist

pickpocket magician trainer

and consultant i was born in england

grew up in montreal canada and now i

live permanently back in london england

i am fascinated with the art of

influence

at the beginning understanding how

people think

in the moment gave me the advantage

in my magic performance

and to be honest it made it a lot more

easy for me to steal your wallet

don’t worry you’re safe we’re online

as i continued down this rabbit hole of

learning

i became a hypnotist and that’s when my

fascination became an obsession

i know something you may not know

i know you will answer a question

i know you’ll answer any question during

a conversation

i know you’ll answer a question even if

you don’t know the answer

i know you’ll answer a question either

internally to yourself

or externally out loud

this is the secret a question

will break your preoccupation and

you will give that question instant

attention

if i ask you a question in the middle

of our conversation you have to stop

your thought process refocus on

the question and then think about how to

answer

my question

this is called a verbal pattern break

this gives

me complete control over the verbal

exchange

at that moment

a decade ago i became friends with a

mind reader

his name was john john

would he would he would read people’s

minds

using similar skills that i have

i would go visit john at his english

cottage

we would sit out in his garden sipping

on our favorite drink

and hope it would rain our conversations

would always turn into heated debates

personally i blame the uh i blame the

favorite drink

eventually we both would be up in arms

trying to influence each other’s

conversations

using language skills

a hypnotist having a debate with a mind

reader

is like a boxer fighting a wrestler

it’s just weird

one day in the midst of our heated

conversation i said john

mind if i ask you a question

to this day i remember how john

lost his position in the conversation

it was an incredible thing to watch

remember this question

john mind if i ask you a question

also remember to use the person’s name

you are talking to

and not john unless that person you’re

talking his name is actually

john this simple

question gave me control

and affected john in different ways

after i asked the question john felt

forced to say yes the reason

was because my my question broke his

train train of thought in

mid-conversation

and at the same time cause them to

refocus

onto the question

the question also stopped john

from speaking the question i

asked was only an introductory question

john might have asked you a question

i hadn’t yet asked the pertinent

question relating to our conversation

so john had nothing to verbalize

or argue about yet

the question affected john’s confidence

and body language

the moment john couldn’t continue with

his line of thinking

he lost conviction and belief with what

he was

saying physically

his shoulders dropped as if he wanted to

uh

lean on something

he looked defeated for a moment

this experience with john made me

realize that i could

influence someone in a moment’s notice

by simply asking the person’s name

and then saying mind if i ask you a

question

i started using this question everywhere

so let’s jump forward to when the world

went

into lockdown my business came to an

abrupt stop

there were no more shows and my industry

collapsed overnight

the author john le carey once said i am

still

making order out of chaos by reinvention

i started to think about how i could

reinvent myself during lockdown

i thought about what i did for a living

well i am a hypnotist

i can always walk into a bank and

hypnotize the girl behind the counter

just kidding just kidding

i watched performers move their shows

online for me online shows do not

encapsulate what live performances are

all about

one day i got a call from a magic

company they asked me to do an online

do an online magic lecture

it was at that moment i started to

realize that performances

may come across stir oil on camera

but offering knowledge online could work

i began by offering a course on social

media

after a couple months i made deals with

online companies in america

india and england

at this point i knew offering

knowledge online worked

the purpose of this story is to express

my belief

that everyone has pieces of knowledge

that someone else

would pay for to learn

a while back i called a plumber to come

fix a problem in my kitchen and i

remember i remember he called out from

under the sink calendar and he said okay

i need to adjust

the main pipe and change the valve in

the other one

to create an even flow of water to this

day

i have no idea what he was talking about

you see the plumber knew something

i didn’t know

he could teach that knowledge couldn’t

he

i now found myself working for other

companies

this was not the dream the dream was to

build my

own business and mentor my own students

i started randomly calling people

in the hopes of creating some business

this had zero effect

i got in touch with an entrepreneur who

has his own

business academy during our conversation

he said something that stuck in my head

he told me to write an ad copy and then

email it to potential clients past

clients

friends to anybody and to everybody

to be honest business is not one of my

strengths

i’m an artist who wants to perform

and teach people my piece of knowledge

after having zero effect we’re trying to

call people

up personally i thought this isn’t going

to work

i still proceeded

in the subject header of my ad copy

i wrote this simple message or it’s a

simple question

mind if i ask you a question

i added only the client’s first name to

the beginning of the question

i thought if i put the whole name it it

would

it would sound too formal and hinder the

true connection i was trying to build

i got inquiries and noticed a pattern

developing

i recognized that everybody everyone

replied back in the same manner they all

answered

in the simple they all answered the

simple question that i put in my subject

header

the first comment they wrote back was

yes

and then continue with their thoughts

this simple question allowed me to jump

the first hurdle

it engaged with the clients it

underlined an early feeling of rapport

with me

the next stage i set up time to have a

quick

five-minute chat with the clients on the

phone

i was now in a position to be

conversational with my clients

i can now ask additional questions to

refine

my course to their needs

this process worked like a dream

it started to help me fulfill my dream

once i had a weigh-in with the clients

all thanks to this simple question

now this simple question is not

to be used just to influence people or

for business

i remember i was in uh singapore’s years

ago

i was walking down sentosa sentosa beach

admiring the beauty when from the corner

of my eye

i noticed a girl sitting on the beach

crying

social convention dictates that i’m a

tourist

i should mind my own business and keep

on walking

and i did i got about 10 steps away

before

everything about me felt compelled to

talk with her

so i walked up to her and i asked her

the typical

question are you okay

she was abrasive there was hardly any

eye contact

which was natural because as strangers

we have our guard up

she started to feel shy and embarrassed

as if i caught her

doing something wrong and then

she said in a little voice yes sir

what’s your name gail she replied

gail mind if i ask you a question

i remember she turned around and looked

at me

with sustained attention at first

i thought she was looking at me thinking

who is this guy

something happened the question bypassed

her condition

her focus shifted

this simple question allowed me to break

the initial barrier

and make a human connection

from this point i could ask further

questions

based on her answers and refine my

responses

for her and help her

find the answers she needed

by the end of our conversation the girl

had calmed down

the tears were gone and i just had the

best learning experience

questions allow your listener to speak

this simple question will allow me to

build an instant connection with people

and open a dialogue with them

that being said i don’t think this girl

expected to talk to a canadian

indian who lives in england walking on a

beach in singapore

but hey the world moves in mysterious

ways

an idea can change the world

a question can influence as well as

connect

with the people in the world

now you know something someone may not

know

so you sir yeah you

use her in the front mind if i ask you a

question

thank you

[Music]

you