Trinity of Resilience

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imagine you’re a boxer in a boxing ring

there is a chaos everywhere your

opponent

is about six feet and weights more than

230 pounds

he’s sitting in the small chair in the

opposite corner

and looking at you aggressively

your heart rising you breathe

faster there are people

everywhere they are laughing joking

screaming yelling and demanding

something

from you the fight begins

the first round you punch you get

punched

everything goes incredibly fast

at the end of the first round

you have about 60 seconds

to relieve and get your balance back and

back to that

ring again continue to fight

the second round

punches are flying from everywhere you

get punched in your head you fall down

to the ground

and you close your eyes you’re exhausted

you are in pain

you don’t want to move yet you have 10

seconds

10 seconds to go on your feet again and

continue

fighting 5 6

7 8 you are on your feet in somehow

you are continuing in your battle

you start fighting with a plan

but as mike tyson once said

everybody has a plan until they get

punched in the mouth

all you can do is battle on

battle on round after round until

you lose the count you lose the sense

about

everything apart from that opponent

how you punch it how you avoid the

punches

how to knock him down

until the last second that

last punch then

at that last second that

last punch who do you want to be

what i want to do what i want to talk to

you about

today is the resilience

an american scientist william

robert scott back

in 1930 90 years ago

describe resilience using a boxer

in a boxing ring a boxer has a certain

amount of resiliency

which allows him to resume after shorter

or longer term

partly depends on his physical condition

and partly depends on the amount of

punches he has already received

but we all know it is more than that

your confidence your commitment your

courage

all of them and the last

not the less is how you act

will affect the result of that camp

i’m here today to tell you

the quality of your life when change

when you face challenges depends

on acting resiliently

one more time the quality of your life

when you face challenges

depends on how you act resiliently

how after

years of research on resilience

i have become more and more convinced

that

the key to acting resiliently is

in three seas what

i call as the trinity of resilience

the first c is about the context

on that ring context is about the fight

is about you and your opponent’s

cognition mental and physical

in order to fight then you have to be

prepared

you need to be trained you need to have

knowledge and skills about the boxing

there is also elements of surprise

some of punches are expected many of

them are not

then we have the element of uncertainty

here

there is a time issue it’s

seconds are critical

and the value at stake when the result

of match matters

greatly for your reputation if you do it

as a professional

or because of the money when the winner

gets paid

in each way you look at it there is a

threat

on that ring then you need to take it

seriously

the combination of threat uncertainty

and time pressure creates an absolute

storm on stress

in our daily life in the other hand the

context is different

but for many sorts of reasons

we get punched from time to time

it could be because of our health

our economy relationship family

job we get punched in our face

i get it i was on the ground i fight my

way back

and i’m here with you today

see the war through the lens of

resilience

change the way we define and understand

the context

the challenges how let me give you an

an easy example

think about the term failure

failure what we

usually understand and refer to the

failure is just

adjusting our behavior

our way to do things when we are in a

demanding situation

when we do this when we do things in

another

way which is unexpected improvise

sometimes the results are desirable

sometimes not if not

then we learn from them and adjust them

further you see

just changing the terminology

from failure to adjustment

do something with our mind with our

feeling

emotion the way we use resources

instead of judging blaming

and defending ourselves or others

we re-focus to understand

why it’s happening not what’s happening

not what and who but why and how

when we try and refocus to understand it

the inside uses to improve

our power they impoverish

in this way resilience

might and will change the quality

of our life

the second c is about the choices

in that boxing ring the choices are more

or less clear

how to punch you will pond

in a certain way in the certain part of

your opponent’s

body but i know and you know it’s more

complicated than that

in order to act resiliently

you need to be proactive being reactive

on that ring

doesn’t help you need to monitor

every movement of your opponent

and prepare a response accordingly

you need also to listen to your coach

who gives you guide and advice

it means that you should have capacity

to receive information to process them

and get the point and use those points

in the next

punch it’s a lot to do

in our real life

choices are more complicated because

contests keep changing

the resilient element here is the

capacity to anticipate

to figuring out how the future would

look like

and then find a way to respond to those

upcoming challenges

the point is while we are so

eager to improvise

to think outside the box to be creative

and innovative you are

almost always forgotten to think

inside the box so think about

those tiny elements

assumptions values

norms beliefs

that might have effect on execution of

our plans these elements

bring us to the thirty the culture

in that boxing ring the culture is about

rules of the game what to do what

not to do for example no biting

holding the hard or sharp object in your

hands

in the real life is much much more

sophisticated

as new faces of challenges coming

new rules of the games appears

in a faster and faster pace

yet or norms or values

the way we do things often remain

unchanged the success

in acting resiliently is not just about

to figuring out

how the future would look like and

allocate resource

but to figuring out whether those

choices that we make are aligned with

our

assumptions values norms beliefs

if not then we should change them

otherwise we might ending in a situation

that

we are not comfortable with our choices

we might end in the situation saying

i don’t recognize myself here anymore

next time when you are

in the challenges think about

the trinity of resilience about the

context

what this battle is about your choices

make plans but be flexible

take a step back adjust your plan

and continue to your fight never

ever forget you are a great fighter

thank you