Heteronormativity in Public Schools

today

i’m going to be talking about someone

who is very special to me my little

brother

luke he’s a freshman in high school and

he loves

beauty and nail polish and makeup he is

taller than me like he’s 14 and he is

six foot which i think

is insane but it’s also super helpful

whenever i need something up high

luke and i have never been super close

as kids we never like spilled secrets or

anything

but i did know that when i

grew up i was going to have to make sure

that he felt

loved and accepted no matter what and

let him know that he’s perfect just the

way he is

he’s always kind to whoever he needs

and he tries his hardest to make

everybody feel accepted no matter what

he isn’t afraid to be himself and he

seems to not care what other people

think about him

he enjoys going to school and he loves

scouts

he tries his best to be as good of a

person as he can possibly be

taking others into account before

himself he tries to make everybody

involved

no matter the situation which is

something that i really

admire luke loves to do dance and

do his makeup he’s always posting on

social media all of these crazy makeup

looks that i could never

do in my whole life but he somehow makes

them look

so beautiful he has huge ambitions for

his future

he wants to create his own makeup line

inclusive for every person every skin

type every skin color

every style um

he has big dreams and he has a plan on

how to do it

i believe that he will go places in his

life

i have never met a person or let alone a

14 year old

who is this positive and has their

future as planned out as luke does

he knows exactly what classes he needs

to take what he needs to take them

what he wants to major in what college

he wants to go to

and what steps he has to make to do to

make sure he gets where he wants to go

unfortunately not everybody likes his

big dreams

he struggles with being bullied luke

used to remain

nail polish to school when he was

younger but the amount of bullying he

received from his peers

deterred him he feared for his own

safety from their threats

if he continued to wear a nail polish at

school he couldn’t wear nail polish

because it was not socially acceptable

for a middle school aged boy to wear

make nail polish

to school he also feared that the eighth

graders and high schoolers

would beat him up if he were it um

luke has always had a love of makeup as

i mentioned ever since he was a little

kid

uh when we were kids luke and i would

dress up put on princess dresses and

pretend we were princesses

ruling everything we could see luke and

i had

so much fun when we were kids luke

wanted to wear makeup to school one time

but he didn’t understand why my mom and

i would not let him

the truth is i didn’t want luke to get

beat up

we rode the bus with these super

aggressive and super mean

and loud and annoying boys who didn’t

like

anyone who’s not the same as them they

would bully everybody but they would

especially bully luke

they would constantly tear down luke

over the smallest things

from the games on his phone to what he

would talk about

i tried everything i could think of to

stop these boys

but nothing worked they would

physically bully luke like hit him with

various objects

they would flip his hood up and pull his

hair and he would tell him to stop

and then would threaten to tell

administration and teachers and the bus

driver

and they would not stop bullying him the

administration did

nothing about it he kept being

relentlessly bullied by these obnoxious

boys who were insecure about themselves

be all because he was different from

them

luke has always been secure in who he is

and does not care what other people

think about him

one time last school year luke saw the

sixth grade boy who was wearing makeup

to school

in the hallway heading to the bathroom

luke wanted to compliment this boy on

his makeup

when luke went into the bathroom the boy

hid his face

in fear of luke by the time that luke

was going to

talk to this boy the boy had already

left

the bathroom presumably scared

luke is a pretty large boy as i

mentioned he’s six foot he has some

muscle on him for being a dancer

um this sixth grader felt fearful that

luke

was going to beat him up when luke saw

this kid at a different time at school

this boy again hid his face in fear of

what people

were gonna say when they saw his makeup

all luke wanted to do was compliment the

boy

and ask him about his makeup and the boy

feared for his safety and ran away

it’s heartbreaking bullying starts at a

young age

but is made worse throughout schooling

middle school is

you know the standard point when kids

are trying to experiment

and figure out who they are and what

they want to do

and it is crucial to who they are they

feel

pressure to fit in from their peers i’ve

always said that middle school is the

meanest time of a person’s life and i

truly believe that if someone is

different from what they think is

normal they will automatically go after

that person and attack them

because they feel that they need to make

that person

feel badly about themselves so that they

will come form and fit in

there is the most bullying in middle

school because

of the amount of insecurities there are

it is so sad that people feel they

cannot be themselves

because they will get bullied if they

try and they’re afraid to stand up

for that person being bullied because

they’re worried they will get bullied

themselves

insecurity is the main reason behind all

bullying

and there is tons of it in middle school

boys face

pressure to be perfect football players

manly dating a different girl every week

you know

middle school things the pressures

placed on boys to be perfect can lead to

insecurities

especially if the boy is not manly

luke is the opposite of what you would

think of as manly

orchestra kid dance he loves science

makeup you know nail polish not what i

would call your typical

manly middle schooler

the bullies pick on the different kids

because it’s easier for them why would

you pick on the football player when you

could pick on

you know the dancer

unfortunately boys are more likely to

bully people than girls

additionally the us department of health

and human services

states that boys tend to engage in more

physical forms of bullying and sexual

harassment than girls do

therefore being different and not what

the ideal man looks like in middle and

high school can prove

unsafe and even dangerous that

discourages people from feeling like

they can be themselves

which does not encourage individuality

and freedom of expression

bullying makes people want to fit in

more and they will do anything

to avoid being bullied themselves when

bullying happens in excess

suicide can occur suicide is the third

leading cause of death among adolescents

according to the child mind institute

third lgbtq youth who reported having at

least one accepting adult

were 40 percent less likely to report a

suicide attempt in the past year

according to the trevor project 40

percent

the impact of bullying later on in life

is extremely terrifying

bullying in middle school can lead to

depression anxiety low self-esteem

and in some cases self-harm kids feel

sad and depressed

because they get bullied for being

themselves as i previously mentioned

bullying stems from insecurities the

popular kids believe that not popular

kids

because they don’t like people being

comfortable with themselves and being

different from what they think

is normal the kids who get bullied tend

to not

understand why they’re being bullied

they’re just being who they are

society tells these kids that they have

to be a certain way and if they’re not

they’re going to get bullied for it

when something isn’t the way that

society says

it will be other people step in and are

like

you cannot be different you have to

conform to what society wants you to do

the reason for making someone feel bad

is so that they will blend in

and fit in better bullying is seen as

cool and popular

because it’s people it’s perceived as

being needed to thrive in school

that is not the case children can learn

not to bully those around them

and not treat people differently just

because someone has different hobbies

than them

there’s something called the bystander

effect the idea that

someone can be suffering and other

people don’t do anything about it

because they think that someone else is

going to step in and fix it

that is not a good way to stop anything

i know that i want someone to step in

for me

in that situation staying silent is

just as bad as bullying someone because

then the bullies

think that what they’re doing is okay

and they can continue to bully more

people

i’ve come up with a solution to the

bullying issue

educate schools should create programs

where students are separated into small

groups

age gender something i don’t know

sexual orientation small groups

and taught about tolerance and how

to deal with people who are different

than them kids should be taught not to

bully anybody

and the all school should have a zero

tolerance bullying policy

this program can start when kids are in

elementary school

that way it’s implemented into their

brain and they

are more tolerant when they get to be

luke’s age luke used to be very insecure

and would care a lot about what his

peers were saying about him but now he’s

gotten

so used to this bullying that he doesn’t

even register anymore it doesn’t even

faze him

he also says he’s put up a wall and

needs to get to know someone first

before he starts opening up to them

and letting them get to know the real

him

is that really a good thing is that what

we want

our kids to be like