Developing Social Skills through Dungeons Dragons

[Music]

[Applause]

the first time

that i played dungeons and dragons i

knew that i had found something special

because even though i did not understand

the rules

or the game mechanics i was deeply

invested in my character

i had spent time creating a backstory

for her

as well as when i was playing the game i

thought about her future based on the

decisions i was making

i even found myself thinking about her

when i wasn’t playing the game

fast forward eight months i’m still

playing scrolling through my social

media news feeds and i come across this

homemade advertisement

it says dungeons and dragons regular

weekly meetings

can help with social skills and in that

moment it was like

the fog cleared or the light bulb went

off

and this was that missing piece this was

that thing that i couldn’t

quite put my finger on it was helping me

with my social skills

i began to wonder what it would be like

if i created an intentional game

building specific social skill

opportunities into the game

i decided to see if there was anything

like this out there went online

did a quick internet search and i

discovered the world of applied rpgs

or applied role-playing games and these

are folks using things like

dungeons and dragons to help people with

things like

social skill development i reached out

to an organization that was pretty well

established in the field

and doing work similar to what i was

thinking of doing and asked them if

there was a way i could bring

social skill development for teenagers

into my own community

they said to me well you have this

background in leadership development

what if you built a sandbox and scaffold

your organization based off of that

from there roleplay lead was born

i have had the amazing privilege of

having amazing kids at my table but one

student’s story in particular stands out

and i’m going to share that with you

today

when this student joined role play lead

they sat at my table

with this deep-seated fear of failure

and an overcompensation into

perfectionism

this manifested in a variety of ways

this student for example if they didn’t

know the answer didn’t think they had

the right answer they chose not to say

anything

on the flip side if they believed they

had the best answer

it was their answer only they weren’t

interested in anyone else’s

nor did they ask for help as you can

imagine that created

some interesting tensions at the table

and

played out in some really interesting

ways on the flip side because

they stretched into this perfectionism

they read all of the books they knew

every detail

in and out of the rules of everything

and if anyone tried to stray from them

just the tiniest little bit

they would step in and correct them

again creating some tension

fast forward for a full school year and

i decide to send out a survey to the

parents i want to make sure i’m on the

right track

that they’re seeing the growth that i’m

seeing

this parent the parent of the student

response was really interesting first

they said prior to starting with role

play lead

this student was leaving the classroom

four to five

times a week because they were having

panic attacks and anxiety

a half a school year later enrolled play

lead and this student is now down to

once or twice

a month how does a game like dungeons

and dragons

help a student manage their anxiety and

develop social skills

i’m going to give you a brief example of

something that happens all the time in

the game of dungeons and dragons and how

in this

one small moment we can work on social

skill development and anxiety management

first of all if you have never played

dungeons and dragons before here is a

very

very very very brief overview of how the

game works

you gather around a table your players

sit down and they have a character sheet

in front of them

on the character sheet is a series of

skills some of which your character is

good at

some of which they’re not as good at

which is great because that mirrors us

in real life they also get a pile of

dice and we’ll get to that in a moment

other than that though there is actually

no game board

no screens it all takes place in the

imagination

it is then up to the role of the dm or

dungeon master which is the role that i

play with in my organization

to set the scene paint a picture and

tell a collaborative story with their

players

for example i say to my players

all right you have been walking about a

mile in

dense forest before you come to this

craggy cliffside

in front of you is a large ravine and a

bridge that spans the gap

however there has been some bad weather

recently

and it has caused a boulder to fall and

land directly at the entrance to the

bridge

you cannot cross it as is what do you

do and it is this moment of what do you

do that brings us to the first thing i

love about this game

and it is that you can actually try

almost anything

however do you remember that set of dice

i told you about earlier

it is often up to the role of those dice

that determines whether you succeed

or fail at what you’re trying to do in

this particular case all of the players

begin talking to each other

and the player who has the strongest

character

says i would like to try and move the

boulder out of my way

i say great that’s an awesome idea go

ahead and roll your dice

they roll and they succeed the boulder

rolls out of the way

the group crosses the bridge and they

never look back

but because this is a game of chance

there is

an opportunity for them to not succeed

on that role they fail unable to move

the

boulder out of the way bringing us to

the next moment that i’d like to talk

about

when my players roll low and their

character does not succeed

i work on developing empathy

and self-awareness i say to that player

tell me what it is that your

character is thinking about that’s

distracting them from succeeding on

something they’d normally

do well at the player thinks for a

moment and says well in my character’s

backstory

they were due to go home right now

instead of continuing with the group

they’re thinking of their friends their

family their village

they’re distracted i say

yes how often does this happen to us in

real life

we study for a math test you know

all of the formulas you are going to

need to be successful

the morning of that test you get into a

fight with a parent

and then as you sit down at your desk

your test in front of you

instead of recalling all of those

formulas that you’re going to need

you recall that fight what can you do in

this instance

the player thinks for a moment and says

you know

i could ask the teacher for help maybe

see if i could come back later or

reschedule my test for a different day

and i say yeah asking for help is a big

thing to do

but it’s really really important what

can you do in this game

and that player says well i could ask

for help here too i say yeah

the player who’s controlling the next

strongest character says i’ll help them

great roll your dice and we’ll look at

the two dice together to determine if

you succeed

let’s say they roll well you look at the

dice together

both of those characters move the

boulder out of the way

the group crosses the bridge and never

looks back

but again chance is a fateful mistress

you might roll unfortunately low and

still not

succeed even looking at the two dice

rolls together

bringing me to the next thing i’d like

to talk about and that is

problem solving and critical thinking in

this moment

two of the strongest characters cannot

budge this boulder the group has to get

creative

someone says hey maybe we climb down the

ravine and i say yeah but you can’t see

the bottom

they say okay that’s not a good idea

let’s walk through the woods and see if

we can find another way across

say sure that’s a great idea keep in

mind though the trees are really densely

packed it’s going to take you a while

they keep thinking and keep thinking

until one of the players raises their

hand

and says hey i have a rope in my

inventory

could my character loop the rope around

the boulder

everybody pulls on the loose end and it

moves out of the way

i say yes this is a great idea i want to

encourage teamwork

i’m not even going to ask my players to

roll their dice

i say if you all work together on this

you will be successful

bringing me to the next thing i’d like

to talk about and that is

unlike games like monopoly or ticket to

ride where only one person

can win and everyone else has to lose

dungeons and dragons is a team game

where you succeed

or fail together so think back to the

very first

attempt at moving the boulder if that

character succeeds

the whole party still gets to cross the

bridge right

but let’s say they don’t you get to the

very end solution where the rope is used

to move the boulder

the group still gets to cross the bridge

together no matter what happens

the last thing i want to highlight today

about this game is its work with

frustration tolerance

as it happens the dice some days are

your best

friends you roll them and you succeed at

everything you try to do

because balance must be restored to the

worlds though the next time you pick up

those dice to roll them

you can’t succeed no matter how many

times you try

as a social skills dm i get to watch my

players

i get to keep a pulse on their anxiety

again think back to that game of

monopoly or ticket to ride

once you realize that only one person is

going to win and you cannot catch up no

matter how much you try

you begin to not care to check out to

leave the game

you don’t learn in dungeons and dragons

i watch my players to gauge where their

anxiety is at

they might start off if they’re failing

time and time again

i’m not worth it my character is not

worth it i’m not successful

until they spiral down and i catch them

before they get too low and i say you

know what

today has been a tough day but think

about last time we played the game

you were fighting this big bad guy

everyone’s health was really really low

but you got the final killing blow and

you saved everyone’s butts

they needed you then just like they need

you now one bad day does not mean that

you are not worth it or good

just means you’re having a bad day and

this really neat thing begins to happen

the rest of the players after they play

together for a couple of weeks

begin to see their own anxiety reflected

back at them

they develop empathy and understanding

they might

actually step in and become each other’s

cheerleaders

so i don’t have to cheerlead them on

they can see it as it’s happening and

it’s beautiful

so if you look at this boulder example

and then consider the very first student

i talked about

you can see how a game like dungeons and

dragons helps build skills

helps students overcome their struggles

and becomes stronger for it

the boulder is just the first step the

puzzles get bigger the obstacles get

harder

and you have to use that foundation in

order to continue on

it is my hope that by now you have a

teenager in your mind

your own child or a family member or

friend

perhaps it’s a student in your classroom

or a patient in your therapeutic

practices and you are wondering how you

can bring this

to them get online and search

applied rpgs or applied role-playing

games and you’re going to find

organizations across the country

you are going to find them across the

world in fact you

will find training programs as well that

are available to you that will certify

you or teach you how to use the skill in

your own space

let’s say though you’re already a

skilled dungeon master you’re just not

sure how you can use a dnd module

and build in social skill moments well

role play lead has you covered

we actually are putting together a

module that runs just like a dungeons

and dragons game

but has these moments built in for you

no matter how you choose to bring

applied rpgs

to your community it is time that we

re-evaluate how we teach social skills

to our

teenagers because they deserve a safe

space

to engage and play for leadership thank

you

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you