Reality vs Expectation 5 Steps to Self Awareness
[Music]
so
how many of you have ever had that
feeling
that feeling you’re about to post on
social media
so you start to look on facebook
snapchat and tick tock for the older
people in the room
so you’re about to post something you
look at your picture you start thinking
to yourself
did i filter this right does the caption
look good
do all these hashtags make me look needy
unfortunately that’s the world that we
live in today
this is the world that social media has
built for us
so what do i mean by that exactly a
world that social media has built for us
let’s go through some numbers according
to a recent study
that took a sample of people who use
social media they say that
about four hours of our day is spent on
our phones
so for four hours we’re constantly going
through our phones scrolling through all
these different platforms
and seeing images of things that people
put out there to show the best
online versions of themselves but
remember it’s only the highlights
never the story sometimes not even the
reality
can you imagine the type of effect
seeing those images can have on
somebody’s self-esteem
a little confused let’s go into the
numbers a little bit deeper
so on this study they took a survey and
they found out
that about sixty percent of the people
who go on social media platforms
say their self-esteem is affected uh
negatively uh another survey said
that about fifty percent of the people
who use social media
found that their relationships are
affected negatively
so that’s their friendships
relationships with their parents
relationships with their friends
and then another question came up 80
of the people who use social media admit
that the
easiest way to be deceived by people is
through the platforms
so what does that say about us exactly
human insecurity tends to get triggered
by what we see out there
social media is this platform where
everybody’s putting out those best
online versions of the self
and it causes our anxieties our social
pressures to kind of affect the way that
we are
let me tell you a story about this one
character
let’s call him social joke so stokes
will joey he’s on his phone 24 7.
much like myself much like a lot of the
younger people in the room i’m sure
and social joey is scrolling through
instagram all the time
he’s scrolling through tick tock all
these different platforms whatever it
may be
so he’s coming across all these
different images he sees his friends
getting married he sees
people getting promoted people travel
people going on vacations
and whatever else people like to flaunt
and put out there
on these different platforms so
how do you think social joke would feel
he actually is a hard worker
he does what he can unfortunately he
hasn’t been lucky enough to experience a
lot of these things that he’s seeing out
there
and that brings me to this question
so are we living lives for ourselves
or are we living life based on how
society
projects how we should live so take it
back to social
social joke if he wasn’t constantly
reminded
about all these images that he saw on
the platform
constantly reminded about all the
experiences that he’ll never have
would he be upset let me give you a
personal example
uh so like i mentioned i’m an
entrepreneur that means
i own a business and i’m lucky enough to
open a couple of them
i was i was just like social joke i was
scrolling through instagram
i was scrolling through the different
platforms and i see this image
of what an entrepreneur should be i
watched a lot of
shark tank i saw different things that
are out there and i saw
people showing off their fancy cars
private jets they got all this money all
these uh fashion
and whatnot and i thought to myself
that’s exactly what i want
that’s what i want to be that’s the
image that society projected that i
thought i wanted
so it wasn’t until i came across this
idea of being self-aware
that kind of made me understand who i
really am
what really makes me happy so
a lot of people are getting more aware
of this term social awareness
i mean uh self-awareness what does
self-awareness really mean
so being self-aware means you’re you’re
in tune with your emotions
you’re in tune with everything that
makes you you you’re in tune with your
uh your likes your desires your wants
your needs
everything that makes up the type of
person that you love
you have the ability to in the moment
understand
why you’re reacting a certain way why
you’re feeling some type of weight and
why your actions happen the way you do
and you inside can understand that
so today i want to really focus in on
what makes
each one of you you i want you guys to
leave here today with being a little
more self-aware
and understanding why you may act a
certain way that you do
why you might not be happy about it and
what you can do to kind of change that
understand that more about yourself
helpful for me that i think will be
helpful for you that you can do right
even today
so my first tip towards self-awareness
is ask your friends
so they always say that you’re the
average of the five people you spend
most time with
so ask those five people and listen
carefully and listen
to what they have to say about you the
good things
the bad things and everything in between
that’s the best way to get a third
party third-party point of view of how
other people view you
so when you’re looking at yourself and
you try to dissect the type of person
that you are
sometimes your insecurities will hold
back on the truth
so talking to your friends and really
getting an understanding
of how they perceive you i’m sure that’s
how people who aren’t your friends
and others may perceive you as well the
second tip
i really want you guys to do is to
take a personality test this is the
easiest and most fun thing you can do
to kind of get a foundation of basic
understanding about yourself
these personality tests were designed to
ask you questions that trigger different
emotions and thoughts
and that will give you a basic
understanding of why you think this way
and what your motivations are
so use them there’s a bunch of them out
there and that’s what they’re there for
to give you more self-awareness about
the type of person that you are
the type of person you want to be and
how you can get them
the third thing i want you to do is
you’re going to look back at your past
and create a timeline you’re going to
look at all the major events in your
life
good and bad maybe put them down in a
piece of paper
and kind of show what type of events
have impacted you the way that you got
to today
and really narrow it down you want to
think about the good times the bad times
maybe
times with your friends maybe it’s times
in your career maybe it’s time for your
family
this timeline of events can really show
you what has impacted you today
and why you are the person you are today
and i’ll give you a better understanding
of what really motivates you
what has kind of made you how you are
and give you a better understanding
my fourth tip kind of takes a step
further
if you guys were to leave here today and
write down your goals and priorities
for the next year how would you do it
what would you write
if someone came up to you and said look
the end of the world is coming
at the end of 2020. you have 14 months
to live
what would you do for the next 14 months
that’s a decent chunk of change
that’s a life-changing amount of time
would you spend more time with your
family
would you spend more time with your
friends would you go for a goal that
you’ve always wanted
would you travel the world writing down
your goals and priorities and have it
staring at your face
every day will constantly remind you
what motivates you
what drives you what makes you want to
be the person that you’re trying to be
and the fifth and the most important tip
is the simplest ask yourself
why i’m not talking about once
definitely not talking about twice ask
yourself
why at least three times
it sounds a little bit redundant but
every time you ask yourself why
you’re taking a blood another layer off
from getting receiver to the true group
of what you’re looking for in every
situation every emotion
and what you’re trying to do so let’s
put this theory into practice
so i’m going to come up with an example
that i think a lot of people in the room
can relate to today
today everybody made a decision a
conscious decision
to be here at this tedx event and mind
you
you had the option to be here granted
it’s invite only
but you chose to be here tonight so
that brings us to the first why we’re
going to ask
why did you come to this tedx amount so
if i were to ask somebody in the room i
would imagine oh uh
i heard tedx is super inspirational um i
got invited and i want to check it out
so that’s the first why you came here to
be inspired
there’s tedx on youtube there’s tedx
everywhere else you can look up
different things that can inspire you
so is that really why you’re here let’s
take it a step further
so you want to be inspired
why do you want to be inspired uh i want
to get a good advice
i want to get advice that i can apply to
my everyday life
okay so you walked in advice
very similar to the first one you can
get good advice elsewhere
i’m sure most of you who are here today
aren’t here for a specific speaker
are here for a specific piece of advice
that you’re looking for
you’re here for some reason august night
just being at this tedx event
so let’s take it one more layer deeper
why
do you want good advice because you’re
all here
working on becoming a better person and
a better version of yourself
and that’s exactly why we’re here tedx
is just a platform
for why you’re becoming inspired why
you’re getting good advice
you guys are constantly working on
becoming a better person and you made a
conscious decision
to be here on a friday night the best
night of the week right
so and now that you know that you’re
self-aware you guys took the time out of
your day
to be here to be motivated to be
inspired
to get good advice what can your
self-awareness take away from you today
you need to be able to keep that train
going stay motivated stay inspired
and make sure you’re constantly doing
that in your everyday life
so let’s go back to social joke
social media was never the issue social
media was never the problem with him
self-awareness is the problem
this is a topic that’s getting very big
like i mentioned with mental health
people need to be more self-aware so
they can understand what really what
makes them happy and what makes them
tick
so with self-awareness most people
aren’t
are on better on social media they get
triggered by the different images and
things
that they see unfortunately some people
aren’t self-aware enough
to protect them from some of the things
that they might see out there
constant reminders of things that
they’ll never get and it just makes them
feel upset
and sometimes in a loop that they can’t
get out
self-awareness is a state that most
people never really get to experience
maybe not even too late in their lives
some people not at all
so had i not been self-aware
maybe i’d still be working for somebody
else
had i not been self-aware maybe i would
have never started any of my businesses
or my companies
had i not been self-aware maybe i would
have never found the true happiness that
i found
working for myself and my freedom
so for me it was never about the money i
thought about the money
until i became more self-aware and
understood that i just love being my own
boss and that’s truly what makes me
happy
the easiest person to deceive is
yourself
so i challenge you today to really start
living for yourself
not for anybody else and understanding
how to become more self-aware
my name is jeff asquillo and thank you
for your time
you