Reclaiming social media through the authentic self

i would like to start our discussion off

today with a question

when you’re on social media whether

you’re scrolling on facebook or checking

out some photos on instagram

what is the general feeling that you

have is it generally good or is it

generally bad so when you’re seeing

other people how do you feel about

yourself and that’s what we’re going to

explore today

i think the general consensus is that we

are feeling bad we are feeling negative

the way that we’re using social media

right now is not working

but i do believe that we can reclaim it

i believe we can reclaim social media

by grabbing onto transparency and

literally

disrupting the dynamic in the way that

we’ve been using it

and we can change it and recreate it for

good

if you’ve seen the recent documentary

the social dilemma they talk about some

startling

statistics in it and this has all been

backed by by research

lots and lots of studies around this but

in the documentary they talk about this

is just one age category

but some of the negative consequences

that social media has

on people and in the pre-teen category

so just looking at one age demographic

they share that suicide rates have

increased

150 percent in the last decade

self-harm has tripled and

incidents of anxiety and depression and

the issues surrounding this

have become an epidemic it’s literally

unprecedented

some of the other negative side effects

that we are seeing with social media are

low self-esteem

i think we can all agree to that

isolation

and now more than ever i believe people

need connection and they’re feeling

more isolated by using social media

we’re feeling more envious of others so

when we’re using social we’re comparing

ourselves to other people

we’re experiencing addiction more stress

around it fear of missing out and this

is where we find ourselves

having that doing things that we maybe

wouldn’t do otherwise because we see

others doing it

loss of reality instagram right a lot of

that is very distorted of what’s real

and overall negative feelings is what

we’re experiencing

when we’re using social media i believe

this is because

of a pattern that we have starting with

our thoughts

the thoughts that we have over and over

again about ourselves

that we’re in we’re not good enough we

don’t have value to offer

and unknowingly to us when these

thoughts are left unchecked

they start to repeat over and over again

and cause behaviors

they cause habits we start taking

actions

that we maybe wouldn’t otherwise take

and over time

these repetitive actions become our

beliefs about ourselves

start telling ourselves these stories

about ourselves that are not serving us

telling our stories about ourselves that

we’re not good enough

and when this happens we start to

shape this image of ourselves that it’s

very very negative and destructive

and i want to share with you why i got

into social media

so i’d like to introduce you to the

motivators this is my family this is my

husband scott

and my daughters addison and elise and

when i first got into social media it

was for them

at the time i had just overcome a strong

issue with alcohol abuse and won addison

and elise were one and two at the time

and we were like a lot of new families

we were you know knocking

chipping away at some debt and a friend

reached out to me

about her network marketing company and

the opportunity there

and i thought you know what this could

really help us

and at the exact same time addison’s the

preschool owner of her school

she reached out and said addison’s

loving the dance classes that are

happening here

i would like to gift her a six-month

scholarship and i thought

that’s incredible it’s wonderful and

then the very next thought i had was

how are we gonna pay for it at the end

of this six months she’s going to want

to keep going

and i thought this is the perfect

challenge i could do this network

marketing thing and get that going

and this could totally work but i vowed

i was going to be different

i was going to be different the way i

saw that people were using social media

and it felt icky to me but spammy and i

said you know what if i’m gonna do this

i’m gonna be genuine and i’m gonna be

authentic and i did not have a following

at all

i didn’t even have an instagram account

but i decided i was just going to go for

it

so i got a selfie stick and with my cell

phone i just sat my car and i started

going live every week

and i would share my struggles and i

would share my successes

i would share what’s going on i was

being really really just authentic

i would cry on camera i would laugh on

camera

but most importantly i got to know the

people on the other side of that camera

i found out what their hopes were what

their dreams were what their issues were

and i discovered true community i

realized that’s what people wanted they

wanted

real connection that is literally the

secret sauce is people are just craving

authenticity authenticity

so i want you to think about you i want

to think about yourself

when it comes to any success that you

want your life it stems from value

and worth the value we have in ourselves

the worth that we have

and i want to challenge you to stop

playing small

stop seeing yourself as insignificant

and know that by

yourself you have the impact to impact

at least one other person

and that’s how we can create a true

ripple effect in this world

now i want to show you some examples

here of real people

using social media for good first one

i’m going to share with you is catherine

we actually have a lot in common she’s

also celebrating sobriety and she’s a

mom as well

and she told me before she posted this

she was

really nervous to share this post

because she felt very exposed

she was airing her dirty laundry telling

her story about overcoming her alcohol

issues

and she said when she posted it her

inbox a messenger blew up

of women saying thank you for posting

that

thank you for being real thank you for

sharing because that is inspiring me to

make a change

and the key thing she heard was thank

you for being real

this right here is christine and she is

lifting up her grandmother who she

shares had gone through four years of

war

struggled through the depression and

said she was smart and resourceful and

loved

and the reason why i think this is so

important to point out is because think

of

all the blessings that we have right

around us our family our friends

are we taking time to utilize social

media

to to celebrate the people right around

us and all the things that we have to be

grateful for

on the left this is right now and she

has a goofy photo of her and her son

and she says life’s too short to have

everything be perfect

let your hair be messy and yourself be

goofy she is giving other moms

permission to have fun

and be silly and not be perfect and i

think that this is really refreshing

in the middle leanne said that someone

had sent her an unkind message in

messenger

and she said when it happened she

thought how could i turn this into a

positive

so she decided to do a post around it

and she said no matter what little box

someone has put you in

or you have put yourself in know this

you are beautiful creative unique and

bold

you are funny kind you are empowered

you are more than enough don’t let

anyone

including yourself make limiting remarks

about you

or make you feel small now i have to ask

you if you were scrolling on social

media

and you saw a post like this and someone

was speaking truth into you like that

how would that make you feel

if you were on your phone and you saw

this how would it make you

feel that’s what we need to think about

and this one from alicia

alicia chose to grab a photo from

someone else’s facebook profile so she

grabbed kathy’s picture

put it on her own wall on facebook and

shouted out kathy said all the wonderful

things she loved about kathy

and she invited other people to do the

same the last one

i want to share with you is sherry and

sherry

is also a mom as well we have that in

common

and she shared this photo and i love

this so much because

you know she talks about our kids are

watching us and that

they learn by seeing what we’re doing

and she says because i know she watches

you

watches me i choose not to settle i want

to show her what it will

what it looks like to be successful and

how it feels to help others

so go ahead i dare you to be the first

be brave fight fear

believe in yourself and overcome

because if you do so will they

as a mom if i i wasn’t having a great

day and wasn’t feeling like i was

crushing it

and i saw this post it would give me

that little boost it would give me that

little bit of motivation to say okay

you can do this and the way that we’re

using social media right now this is not

what we’re seeing

it’s destructive we’re experiencing you

know big time comparison

and pastor syndrome we’re questioning

who we are

and getting lost in in the sea of social

media

so this is the three steps i want you to

implement instead of comparing yourself

to others

i want you to use this platform to serve

to mentor

and connect with others i want you to

think about how can you make a

difference

instead of imposter syndrome let’s push

that to the side and let’s

create a framework for things that we’re

truly

passionate about maybe for you it is

helping that new mom into motherhood

or maybe you want to help somebody get

that first job you figure out what that

is

and you lean into that and instead of

questioning who we are

let’s lean into this global impact here

of social media never before in the

history have we been able to reach

people

to this extent and this speed than ever

before and let’s use that for good

instead of looking outside of ourselves

let’s look inside let’s claim our truth

let’s claim our good

yes we need to guard our platforms we

need to be mindful of what we’re

consuming that content we’re consuming

and we need to be mindful of the content

we’re putting out there

we we want to use social media for to

fulfill ourselves but we also want to

think about how what we’re putting out

there on social media

now i love this quote from brene brown

and she says

vulnerability is not winning or losing

it’s having the courage to show up and

be seen when we have no control over the

outcome

vulnerability is not weakness it’s our

greatest

measure of courage i believe by being

vulnerable that we can be the light to

others

people need that more now than ever they

are craving community

and connection if we can be the light to

others and show them what’s possible

we can ignite that fire in them for them

to make the changes in their own lives

people come to social media for

inspiration they’re coming

and looking for something good they’re

looking for that beacon of hope

and we can be that to other people and

it truly is that ripple effect that we

can make

to other people and this is the best

part when others see us doing that on

social media that’s truly what social

proof is it’s giving

others permission to make the changes in

their own lives

not only are we giving them the

motivation

but we can also give them the vision

so i want to leave you with a question

can you commit

to leaving people better off than when

you found them on social media

to positively impact at least one other

person a day

i truly believe that we can change

the game through the most powerful form

of communication on the planet

and that is social media thank you