The Achievability of Self Love

[Music]

she looks so pretty

her body is perfect she looks so happy

i wish i look like that why don’t i look

like that

your body’s too hairy you have so much

acne

why are you never good enough these

are just some of the many things i

thought about myself

for my whole life my self-worth and

perception have been based upon

social media validation and approval

how many likes comments and followers i

could get

how many friends i had and how popular i

was

in middle school all i ever cared about

was my appearance

and how to maintain it i would spend

hours upon

hours watching people on social media

and constantly comparing myself to them

i had somehow convinced myself that it

was my outer appearance that mattered

i convinced myself that it was my

personality that should come second to

my looks

because of this i never really had an

ego or pride or self-confidence in

general

people could just say things to me and i

would believe them

and it didn’t matter if they were true

or not and the only times i would ever

truly be happy with myself

would be during feelings of

accomplishment i got a perfect score on

a test i studied really hard for

i just finished a performance on stage

even as simple as

making someone laugh i would be okay

celebrating it because i felt that i

deserved it

but why couldn’t i love myself all the

time no matter the circumstances

the answer is simple but it took me a

long time to realize it

and that because of my need and

dependency for validation

there was no way i could ever truly love

myself

but why not i was sick of the thoughts

that would always go through my head

every time i went on social media i was

sick of always doubting myself

and most importantly i was sick of not

loving myself when i had every reason to

to have self-love means to have a high

regard for your own well-being and

happiness

prioritizing your own needs and not

sacrificing yourself to please others

just having love for your own self

and this isn’t to be confused with

vanity selfishness

conceit or egotism and it’s extremely

hard in today’s society to have

self-love

because of the rise of social media

influencers advertising and marketing

but there are many differing internal

and external factors to self-love

and with all things considered what is

the key to self-love and

how can it be achieved

these statistics can show the negative

impact that social media can have

on self-esteem and self-love but yet as

a society

why do we still let it dominate how we

perceive the world

social media is a tool that people can

use to project themselves onto a

platform

and this means that people will only

post themselves in a positive light

and everyone always wants to look their

best right so we’ll do so by

using filters editing and photoshop

and it’s so easy to deceive others using

social media because you’re only posting

the certain aspects of your life

and this can cause people to really

believe that others

always look runway ready live in these

big houses and drive nice cars when in

reality

it’s all fake people are only posting

what they want you to see

it’s taken me years to understand and

realize that social media shouldn’t be a

viable way to determine my self-worth

someone’s profile and feed are very

different to how they present themselves

in real life

and this is because social media puts

pressure on us to post

as a way of approval or gratification

which can be very detrimental to mental

health

i would always feel self-conscious and

sad when i would see people’s

most recent trip to bali or their 200

calorie dinner or even their workout

plan

and it was toxic and harmful for me

not everyone lives like that and social

media needs to stop feeding the image

that people do

so i’m going to share with you some tips

and advice

that have helped me in my journey to

self-love

asking the question again is self-love

achievable

yes it was a long journey for me to

realize it

but that was because i felt like i was

having an inner battle with myself

the entire time after i was in this

depressive rut

i had an epiphany and as cliche as it

sounds

the answer was in myself the whole time

i realized that i’m my own person

and that i shouldn’t be seeking

validation in others but instead myself

so now i’m going to share with you some

tips and advice that helped helped me

in learning to love myself and i

understand that everyone is different

and what may work for some people may

not work for others and that’s

completely okay

there’s many different methods and ways

for everyone out there but these are

just some that i’ve had personal

experience with

that have truly helped me practicing

self-compassion and mindfulness

to do this you need to get rid of those

negative thoughts and emotions

acknowledging when you’re wrong and not

hating yourself for it

as well as practicing non-judgmental

tendencies

this step took me one of the longest and

is still something that i struggle with

to this day

and the thing that you have to do is

every time you hear that little inkling

of that voice in your head you just need

to shut it out and ignore it

and the main factor in doing this is

time it’ll take

time to implement a more positive

mindset and it will take

time because loving yourself is a

process that doesn’t happen overnight

and once you get through that first bump

the rest will come easier

getting rid of perfectionism society has

always conditioned us that we always

feel like we need to look perfect

have excellent grades and always be

happy but we need to learn to dissociate

ourselves from that perfectionism

we need to acknowledge and address these

issues and where they come from and why

we’re having them we need to alter our

mindsets to not let us feel bad if

something goes wrong or if we’re not

perfect because not being perfect

doesn’t equal bad

you’re not going to be the different

person than you are if you’re not

perfect

and being happy with being imperfect

will give you the freedom and peace of

mind to do what’s achievable and what is

right for you

and as cliche as it sounds not everyone

is perfect so we need to stop

acting like we’re trying to be

this step can take on many forms such as

putting healthier foods into your body

taking the time needed for your mental

health and being productive instead of

procrastinating

and ending bad relationships with people

that may not be serving you anymore

and this can be difficult because you

need to realize that you have to put

yourself first

and if you’re not taking care of your

body properly your mind will start to

feel like it’s not being cared for as

well

and vice versa and this can add on to an

abundance of unneeded stress

which isn’t really necessary for the day

to day

and there on the other hand there are

other many health benefits to

exercising and eating healthier when it

comes to exercising you’re healing your

body

and it can fight illnesses and help in

return help the mind

by giving it the energy and serotonin it

needs to combat mental illnesses if you

have them

and eating healthy can lower your risks

of disease and improve your immune

system

and i know this seems like a lot but if

you carry on with this your well-being

will thank you

and lastly this may be one of the

hardest obstacles to overcome

especially with how present social media

is in society and our lives

but you just have to remember that your

body is unique and beautiful

it takes you places it heals you and it

protects you

you need to get rid of those negative

thoughts and put your mind

first happiness cannot be found in the

body

but in the mind and that’s just

something that we need to remind

ourselves of

and this is something that will take

some time because it’s a process

when you think of yourself you need to

only have thoughts of love and

appreciation

and you need to counteract that voice in

your head that’s telling you

you’re wrong for example if you think

oh i’m going to fail my test today try

thinking

no i’m an intelligent person and i will

pass my test today

i understand that these may not work for

everyone but i’m speaking from my

personal experience and i would not give

advice

unless i have had the experience and

know that these are to be true

and i also understand that speaking

about it is so much easier than doing

but self-love is a process and it’s

i understand that it’s not as simple as

just going down a list of steps

it may be easier or harder for other

people

because everyone’s different with

different mindsets and

you shouldn’t feel that it’s important

to love yourself in a certain way

because someone else is doing that

and you should do what feels right for

you

and i know that learning to love

yourself can seem like an impossible

feat

but once you get through that barrier

there’s an amazing horizon beyond that

to have the confidence to always speak

your mind express your creativity

is endless being able to know understand

and distinguish your place in the world

achieving self-love may seem like it’s

impossible

but it’s not overcoming these obstacles

with your newly gained knowledge

and strength once you reach that summit

anything is possible

if we all lived in a world where we did

not get down on ourselves for our flaws

we would act very differently as a

society we would be able to get more

things done because our minds would be

focused on the bigger picture rather

than our own insecurities

there wouldn’t be this immense pressure

on ourselves all the time to feel like

we always need to be perfect

and the love that we have for ourselves

could come back to us

you could think of it like karma the

love that we have for ourselves

can in return inspire others to love

themselves and then will eventually make

its way back to us

if we all lived in a humane world with

happiness and good things

the way to that is that we need to

cultivate love for ourselves and each

other first

this concern can elevate the

consciousness of yourself and everyone

around you

which will open up a realm of new

possibilities to a greater world

thank you