It Takes A Village

it takes a village to raise a child

it is from an african proverb

in my case it took two countries to

raise my son

i’m a single mother for 18 years a

mentor for three years

and a teacher for 30 years and a college

student

for 15 years

i’m here to share a story about my life

project

raising my son internationally and

how a wonderful collaborative project

can occur

in daily life my son was born

and raised in kobe japan thankfully

my white american ex-husband accepted

his job in japan for our son to be born

there

because we lost our first son in the u.s

we moved from the u.s to japan for our

second son

our my son and my

leap of faith journey started from his

one statement

in portland

mom i’m american citizen i have my right

to study in the u.s

even if i become homeless

i have a right to study in the u.s

correct

it was what my son said to me when he

was nine years old

when i took him to my international

teachers conference

at portland state university

in my mind did he just say he wants to

study

he was avoiding any of his studies

including

english i encouraged my son to

interact with english-speaking children

for that reason i took him to the only

one

full english service catholic church in

kobe japan

almost every sunday it took us more than

an

hour each ways to get there by walk

bus and train

it was the only place i could think

about

except international private schools

where i tried to get a job

so i could afford his tuition

because my son is mixed race he does

not look totally japanese like me

once the u.s immigration officer at the

airport asked me

where did you meet him

that was a surprise question for me

in my mind okay i guess

he has been with me since i was pregnant

how can i answer this question what does

what does this question really mean

it was a good question which i have

never thought about

i answered to the officer this is my son

he came from me thinking

how can i prove he’s my son

another time when we were stopped by an

us immigration officer

the air between the officer and me

became tense

so my son started crying the officer

told me that

it was my fault our fault

i was coming to the u.s from japan

legally

and i was trying to come to the us for

my son’s education

because he is an american citizen and

thinking of his future

he was doing his job and i was doing

my job as a mother

i told my son quietly

please remember this moment so

you can figure out how to make this

system better

as a bridge between the us and japan in

the future

they are just doing their job

i wanted my son to feel his belonging to

both of the countries

because he felt outsider from both

another officer kept telling this

officer look

her attitude and she does not do

anything

wrong he was trying to

let us go japan is a relatively

homogeneous country

my son and only one more student were

different color in his school

which had about 700 students

just imagine 698 students

totally look asian only two students

are mixed with white a different color

one time when i went to pick him up at

the park

at dusk he told me

mama mama don’t know

you don’t know what i’ve been through

i was stunned

i thought about how he had been feeling

isolated from others in japan

i am in that majority in japan

equivalent of white person in the u.s

my son is noticeably a minority

due to his appearance in japan but

of course he was born and raised in

japan so

his inside is totally japanese

it is funny that his whiteness from his

face stands out

in japan in the u.s his asian side

from his face stands out he is

opposite from a chimerian

people in japan talk to him in english

even though

he only spoke japanese people admired

his japanese

which is his mother tongue

education is my specialty i went to a

graduate school in japan

while teaching english to research

how to educate my son and student to be

bilingual

and bicultural 10 years old is a key

stage for language learning so

when my son declared his strong will to

study english

in the u.s which opened a huge new door

for him

a strong motivation is a key for any

learning

i told him

well let me think how i can help you

my son became a leader for my life and

a follower in my adventure for him

my father encouraged us to find a place

for us to live comfortably

because he saw our struggles in japan

however it was not easy right

shortly after we moved to the u.s my son

cried saying

i said i wanted to come here that is why

we are here right

of course it was a big challenge for him

to adopt a new life in the u.s

without knowing much english i replied

so

yes my son we cannot go back now

we want to make it then it was

just amazing to see how much he started

talking

english being in the u.s only for three

months

even though his academic struggle lasted

almost five years since then

what a guy minas everybody is a teacher

for me

through this adventure i learned

that i do not know what i do not know

to know what i do not know i need to be

a student to everybody including

my own baby 18 years ago when i was

cleaning a room

and i was thinking aloud to give up my

dream to go to graduate school

my son was two years old at that time he

overheard me saying this

and told me mama demo sure mama

mom that is what you want to do right

his word spoke to me deeply without his

words

i’m not here we are all collaborators

each other we do not know who

and what will teach us when and how

even before my child was born my mother

and i always talked about

what the best way to educate my

mixed-race child

elementary schooling should be in japan

and the rest of the education should be

in the u.s

japanese elementary schools are good for

displaying

and learning japanese which is called to

be a hard language to learn

and american schools are better to

nurture

special talents

this plan was programmed in me so strong

that it kept me going even after her

death

and my divorce when my son was two years

old

our family friends teachers mentors

co-workers the catholic church lacoste

eagle mayor mr mrs studebaker’s family

even strangers on the street and grocery

stores

have been supporting our journey

i have never expected this challenging

exciting

and blessed journey with my son

it is a miracle for me to see my son now

in college in the u.s

this journey is a good example of an

internationally collaborated project

in this individualistic society we may

ask ourselves

why do we need to collaborate what makes

us excited about collaboration how can

we create

our own family and the community bonding

with feeling love and bonding trust

building trust what collaboration can we

perform with

others through our jobs and daily lives

respect each other be beneficial in our

community

and create community to be thrived

interdependent and collaborative

i hope my son and i can be beneficial

for for this society

it is time for us to return the favor to

our community which has been

nurturing us and after all

i think we work simply to enjoy meals

together with

our favorite people for that reason

we like to work together to build wealth

in many ways

understand respect and care for each

other

building a relationship in a loving way

and building trust

so we can be beneficial for our society

which nurtures us

my son told me with his relaxed voice a

couple of years after living in the us

i was outsider from both countries

before

now i feel belonging to both countries i

have many friends in both

countries this comment made me feel

deeply thankful it’s worth

effort to come to the us

i think it is time for us to create

win-win-win situation

by taking actions collaboratively

beyond categorizing people based on

gender

race age disability

or socio-economic status

so we can benefit from any ability from

many kinds of people to create something

new

thankfully my son and i are enjoying

creating community

through having suppers with many kinds

of family

and friends from many countries

currently my son is 20 years old

it took a huge village combined two

countries

to raise him and he raised me

i thank all our supporters in both

countries

now i hope all of us here

can see together how such an

awesome international project can occur

collaboratively in our daily life

fortunately my sons become totally

bilingual bicultural

my son asked me in english fluently

after his high school graduation

so now what do you want to do mom

currently i am a mentor at portland

state university

this is my ideal job at this point

while my son achieves his dream job he

helps me to achieve my dream job

i dedicate this speech to honor our

supporters

especially my parents in heaven

cousin thank you

father and mother

and i would like to say thank you

for listening