Dont be afraid to say yes

good evening everybody uh i want to

preface by saying

i’m not a doctor i’m not a phd candidate

i’m not an economist but somehow

i’m here standing in front of this

official sign this

really really cool red rug so we’re

going to spend a little bit of time

tonight trying to figure out why

the heck i’m here because i don’t really

know myself

i want to talk about something so simple

i think a lot of kids when i’ve given

some speeches they come up and talk to

me and ask me what the secret is

how you got there how you get success

and everyone focuses on the big story

to make the big story the hero and i

think really

to me there’s this really small thing

out there

that is the true hero of the ultimate

story

and that’s the word yes the action to

actually

go after the dream you’ve been dreaming

uh

simply answering an invitation that you

got from a friend

uh asking the person that you’ve been

dying to go on a date with

to go on a date may set the course of

the rest of your life you may start a

family with that person

the simple fact that your two feet hit

the

ground this morning when you woke up um

deciding to celebrate that it can really

really change the tone

um and make it a little bit easier to

obtain those dreams that you really

want to chase after i think society

spends so much time

trying to prepare for what they’re going

to do before they even actually

start i’m it’s going to be like this

it’s going to be so big and it’s going

to

happen here and i’m going to have this

many employees and

i’m going to do this many things and

then by the time you know it

you never even decided to do it or you

scared yourself out of doing it

so tonight i’m gonna tell a couple

stories uh about my life and things that

have happened in my life

um that really focused more on the

how i got there how um

one of my favorite verses in the bible

talks about when

when peter decided to step out of the

boat

and step onto the water and i try to

live my life that way

how can i how can i get off the boat how

can i get going

how can i just let all fear aside and go

and it’s not

always business it’s not always a

ministry thing

it’s not always this big thing it’s

something simple and you’ll you’ll hear

a story tonight that

recently happened that’s really really

simple and probably one of the biggest

moments in my life to date so i’ll start

off by talking about my

my business we will um and how that got

started

it’s it’s i had a friend of mine

asked me one day hey i got an invitation

for this funeral

it’s a funeral service for all the

homeless people who have died

in hartford this year

and i’m thinking to myself like what

like

you got an invitation how did you even

get that invitation someone mailed it to

you what

and i i said yeah sure i’ll do it um

great i show up it was this beautiful

absolutely beautiful somber event when

it was over they had some coffee and

donuts and whatnot

and i saw this this really rugged

looking man

standing in the corner he had

camo pants on camo jacket on

a military-grade rucksack to round up

his outfit

and to be honest with you he looked he

looked pretty terrifying

uh looked like a guy that didn’t really

want you to approach him

so what do i do i walk up to him and i

just

say hi to him long story short

he had told me that it’s probably been

weeks if not months since anyone’s

ever had a conversation with him and

we ended up deciding that he would

really enjoy it

if i came out one morning and cooked him

breakfast

and he said oh yeah the best time to do

it would be before the sun comes up

because we try to get to our next place

as early

as possible so i don’t know months went

by maybe and i finally said

oh this guy told me you want me to cook

him breakfast i’m going to do it so i

had some buddies

come with me two guys we set up a grill

right in downtown hartford

and we had this little tiny cooler

thinking like maybe like two or three

people are gonna come by

and we set up we didn’t even know there

was a methadone clinic

on the opposite corner so the sun’s not

even up

it’s dark and we have all these people

asking us what are you doing we’re like

we’re gonna cook breakfast

just go go tell a couple people and

they’re like okay we will

there was a line around the corner

before we even cracked an

egg and we had like two dozen eggs

a little bottle of orange juice and a

box of joe that

serves maybe 10 12 cups of coffee

so i went right on facebook i said we

need to do this

fast forward i don’t know two years

i have this company now and it all

became it all came from that moment

i started talking to people that were

living out in the streets

and i saw this basic necessity that they

needed

socks the thing that i just open my

drawer and

grab a pair i don’t even look at the

time when i’m grabbing

right but it all happened because i

answered that

invitation from my friend with

99 of the time i would have said no

because i would have found some other

thing i was doing that day but for some

reason

i said yes and it completely changed my

life

just a couple weeks ago i want to talk

about relationships now because i think

a lot of times with these talks and and

it they become so business-minded and

people want to know how you became

successful

and you guys don’t know if i’m

successful or not you don’t know if

anything that i’ve done

has actually worked that well right so

why

why does everyone assume that so i want

to talk about relationships

i heard what i think is god to sum it

maybe something else but i heard a voice

in my head

tell me to text a friend that i hadn’t

talked to in many years

and invite him to play hockey the next

night sunday nights i play hockey

recently and it’s been great

i texted him i said hey want to come

want to come play hockey with me

tomorrow night

and he said yes he gets in my car the

next night

and he said

not moments before you texted me

minutes hours whatever it was i forget

what he said

but he said i was on my knees

at the end of my rope and i was praying

for my friends and for haki to come back

and they both came back in that one text

that you sent me

now to me it was just something simple

i’m inviting my friend

to come play hockey with me to him

it was the beginning of his new life

um some a little bit of hope uh

and and in turn it gave me this this

sense of hope

you know so if you get an idea

if you have this thought to reach out to

a friend

i think i think we always try to find

where the benefit is for ourself what am

i going to get out of it

sure we we need to be have some sort of

success

i have two kids i have this

responsibility to provide for my wife

and my kids

but if we start to just simply say yes

to things

i know my generation we’ve been taught

the last

i don’t know five or six years that we

need to start saying no more

we need to start eliminating things from

our life we need to

we need to stop doing all a million

things and i think there’s a

sense of wisdom there and you certainly

need to

find certain things that are kind of

toxic in your life and

if you are an extremely busy person yeah

certainly

but i think we’ve kind of trained

ourselves to just naturally say no

before thinking

oh maybe this is something that i want

to try out so

recently a friend of mine decided to

start up kind of a men’s group

whatever you want to call it and we meet

every other sunday on zoom of course

right now

and the first

none of us really know each other

besides our connection is him

so he thought i have this group of

friends that i really think would all

enjoy each other and build each other up

that iron sharpens iron mentality

so we started off the first the first

sunday by

just introducing uh each one of us

and he said he said matt

fosters a friendship unlike anyone that

i’ve ever seen

he said i think he texts me and calls me

more than

my wife does and i started to

reflect back on this one moment when i

was

i don’t know 14 15 years old i got

invited to this

very high level hockey camp where a lot

of

college division one college coaches

were going to be at

and it was right outside of boston and

my father my father brought me but he

actually had somewhere to be he had a he

had a job

he had to be at so he drops me off and

outside of boston

and i go into the locker room all these

kids play with each other

and they’re all talking to each other

i’m all alone and

that can really do a lot for your

performance where you feel kind of

exiled so i didn’t know my dad called

his friend and he said hey

my son’s all alone tomorrow would you

mind driving down to boston

watch him tell me how he’s doing and

then can you take him out for lunch or

something

in between sessions he said yes

he goes i see him there

it makes me have this sense of

confidence the sense of comfort

acted like i was his own son he was

answering the call

to his friend and he went above and

beyond the call of duty

he didn’t bring me a bag lunch he didn’t

just come

and watch and text my dad i don’t even

know if texting was really a big thing

back then

after the session he takes me to the

nicest restaurant he could find

probably spent five six hundred dollars

on oysters and

all kinds of seafood and i was blown

away and

i don’t really think i knew at the time

the impact that was going to have on me

but now as a parent and when my friend

said that about

about me i realized

that moment right there changed changed

the way i viewed friendship

i i thought i thought that’s what you do

i thought when your friend

calls you and asks you to do something

that’s how you’re supposed to do it

on the highest level on the topic of

friends

four years ago i got a phone call from

my father

and i answered it the same way i know

hey

what’s up hey dad how you doing

he goes son i need you to sit down

and i said okay what’s going on and he

said i

i i think your your best friend might

have passed away

and i go what what are you talking about

now my best friend

was a third so his father

his grandfather they all share the same

name and i’m like no

he’s 26. he there’s no

it’s not him it’s his father or his

grandfather i didn’t wish it was any of

them but

i had a decision to make i either live

in this mystery

or i drive down the road to his parents

house and figure out if my best friend

had passed away

i think that’s going to bring me closure

and i’m going to know

i opened the door i knocked on the door

i remember his aunt answered the phone

or answered the door

and she just nodded her head and i’m

crying and

i go inside and his mom comes walking

down the stairs and they said she hasn’t

come downstairs since it happened

and she just held onto me she she just

held on to me

and would not let go and i it gave her

this sense of peace

and we spent the whole night talking

about stories and i was telling them

stories that they had never heard before

they’re laughing

and we’re crying and it felt good it

felt good to reflect

and they they finally had a chance to

take a deep breath

my phone rang the next day and it was

his father

and i knew right then and there i

started crying i picked up the phone and

he said i’d be honored if you would give

the eulogy

now i’m 26 years old i never imagined

i’d lose a friend

and i also never imagined i’d be

preparing a speech

on a day like that but then i thought

this is this is amazing i get to brag

about my friend

while some of my other buddies are maybe

getting drunk and standing in the back

of the church and cursing god and

figuring out why

i get to stand up front and bring people

peace

and get to brag about my friend and tell

stories peop that people i’ve never

heard and it all

goes back i decided to say yes

to my desire to drive to his parents

house and bring them peace

now there was a little bit of

selfishness there because i was

torn up i didn’t know if my friend was

dead or alive

i was calling him obviously he’s not

picking up

and i said i gotta i gotta go figure

this out

so i hope to take away from from tonight

and

uh from the stories that i told you that

you never really know

and i think a lot of people right now in

this state of the world every

everyone has an opinion on what to do

what not to do

and they may not necessarily have ever

even been involved in that topic ever in

their life

i encourage you to go try something new

i encourage you to go actually

live a little bit of your life i

encourage you the next time your friend

asks you to do something

maybe say yes a pretty introverted

extroverted kind of person there’s a lot

of times where i just want to

just be home with my family and

i’ve realized that that word yes

holds a lot of power and

if i can leave you with one thing it’s

go try something new

it could be something small could be

something major

just go try something new thanks

everybody