Stop Bottling Up Your Story. The World Needs You.

[Music]

i’m

a story seeker and today i’m here to

find yours

my name is jen hobby rivera and

professionally i work in

radio and television so my entire career

has been based on digging for good

stories

telling compelling stories and

witnessing stories

breed miracles so my mission today is

twofold first it’s to find your story

and second

it’s to change your definition of your

own success

because your success is rooted in your

story

you see i believe you should measure

your own success

by the degree to which you are sharing

your story

to serve the world

so why do this well let’s consider

the old ladder of success the one that

our culture has groomed you

into believing you know the one with

money

fame power fancy titles on that success

ladder

well if that’s your measurement of your

worth and success then

you can go from the top of that ladder

to the bottom in just an instant

you can go from earning an a to an f in

a moment

in one decision but there is a better

way

there’s a better way to measure your

success and it’s in

decibels follow me here perhaps as a

radio person

i can convince you of a new measurement

you see

sound energy travels in waves

and is measured in frequency and

amplitude

and amplitude in physics is just is

defined

as the maximum extent of a vibration

so could you instead measure your own

success

by the maximum extent of your

unique vibration let me tell you the

story of my radio career to

illustrate so i’ve worked in a very male

dominated field for about 20 years now

and i have been clawing my way up that

ladder just trying to make sure

that i can hold my own and step up to

the microphone so to speak

well in 2019 i was named host

of a morning drive radio show the only

woman in atlanta to anchor a show with

two male co-hosts

and we were a great team we worked so

hard together and in 2020 i was given a

top

honor in my field it’s called a gracie

award from the alliance for women in

media

for hosts in a large market now

on this success ladder i was feeling

like i had reached that gold star that

shiny prize

my internal measurement was flying high

well

in the exact same week of the award

ceremony

i lost my show my company went through

budget cuts

they flipped the music formats and my

show was

ended now if i only measured my success

over here on that success ladder what am

i then

am i just a failure no my perspective

changed

years ago and i’m going to explain to

you exactly who and how that perspective

changed

but if i’m measuring my success over

here

by the maximum extent of my vibration

of how much i’ve been pouring my unique

story into the world

and if by using that vulnerability i

make connection

and action then i’ve actually been using

the microphone

in the way that it was intended and i’m

actually still

earning that internal a plus

now let’s talk about this old success

ladder right this one with fame money

power

influence achievement awards on it

now how does that ladder leave you

feeling

when let’s say you get your paycheck

does it make you feel

unworthy ungrateful how does this ladder

make you feel when you share

about your life does it make you feel

nervous stressed out

anxious because this ladder

actually exists to drown out your story

this ladder wants your story to

disappear so that its story

can reign king but instead

could we look at a different measurement

now there’s nothing inherently wrong

with money fame influence or power

but it’s why you want it and what you do

with

it that makes the difference so

let’s talk about this new succession

success measurement

and how do we do it well first we got to

find your story and i’m going to help

you do that when you answer three simple

questions here in just a second

two you got to share that story and then

three you’ve got to

feel your frequency allow that frequency

of connection

to fill you up fill your cups so to

speak

and that be your measurement for success

so i told you my perspective changed

forever

well it changed on a childhood cancer

floor of a hospital

where my family and i were residents you

see my husband and i have two

amazing daughters they are seven and

five

and our younger daughter is a childhood

cancer survivor

and i could go on and on today about the

amazing doctors

the nurses that are truly angels on

earth

and the life-giving research that saved

my daughter’s life but there was

actually

another person who made an even bigger

impression upon me there

and she changed my perspective on

success forever

her name’s anita miss anita we called

her

because in the south you raise kids and

you put titles in front of first names i

don’t know why we do it we just do so we

called her miss anita

and by the employee records there at the

hospital

miss anita is a custodian a janitor

she comes in those hospital rooms and

she’ll change the

vomit covered sheets and the

bloodstained blankets she mops

she dusts she replaces toiletries but

miss anita never saw her job as that of

a custodian

no she took care of her babies

i can remember like it was yesterday her

opening the door

quietly saying how’s my baby doing

and miss anita found a way to make her

babies and their parents feel better

she was always there to offer an

encouraging word

ask a question and really listen to your

answer

a kind touch even a prayer

miss anita figured out what the rest of

us are still

trying to learn she is using her story

to serve the world and she did it room

after room day after day when behind

those doors

were children going bald connected to

machines

and devastated parents like me

living their worst nightmare

you see miss anita

doesn’t clean hospital rooms she heals

families she’s a healer

so what is miss anita’s story i don’t

know all the things that led her up

to the ocean of empathy that is in her

heart

but what i do know is she pours it out

into the people she meets every day she

healed my families and so many other

families

and miss anita is using the maximum

extent of her vibration

to serve the world okay

so how do we do this first we got to

find your story

now that’s pretty daunting of a task

right it’s like looking at a blank page

and somebody’s saying write a novel

right now you go ah

panic i don’t know what to do well i

want you to answer these three

simple questions and we’re going to find

the seed of your story

number one what is the biggest obstacle

that you’ve

overcome the biggest struggle that you

have survived

because you did it you managed your way

through it you survived it you’re here

to hear this message today

second question what are your roots how

did you grow up

differently than everybody else that you

know

and number three what

lights you up inside what is it that

gives you so much joy it’s a spiritual

experience you like lose track of time

when you’re doing it

you just feel born to do it it’s easy to

you

just comes quickly and easily flows

somewhere in the answer to those three

questions

is the seed to your unique story

now i told you earlier that i have been

digging for good stories my entire

career

i’ve got a gut test for that okay so

when you think of the seed of that story

if your gut goes ugh

and your warning defenses fly up and you

go no way

that is just too embarrassing too weird

too joyful people will think i’m

bragging or to

anything if it’s too whatever you know

you’ve got the seed to a great story

because that’s

it that’s where your story starts to

make a connection

and that connection is where your story

starts to serve

the world okay so we’re finding your

story

i can see the wheels turning you got

your story second thing is you gotta

share it with the world

okay so what does that mean do you have

to have a

radio show with a goofy name and funny

sound effects to share your story no do

you have to go viral or have a million

instagram followers to share your story

and make it worth it

no sharing your story could mean sharing

it with just one person

just one child whose eyes shine a little

bit

brighter because of your story

sharing your story could mean your

co-workers or your customers

it could mean your congregation your

classroom

your book club which we all really know

is wine club

totally cool get it i’m there too it

means that your story’s not meant to

live

all bottled up inside of you it’s meant

to be shared

and the last thing is we’ve got to feel

that frequency

that connection that spark that service

to the world is what will give you more

joy

and energy if this ladder leaves you

feeling despair

this ladder gives you enthusiasm and

passion and all joy

now i’ve got you finding your story

sharing your story you’re going to feel

feel that frequency you’re going to fuel

yourself with it

now i’ve got one more challenge for you

how many of you

are parents or how many of you have a

child in your life that you just

love this is the kid that you could just

hug and you never want to let them go

well how are we measuring their success

are are we taking our next generation

and putting them right back on this

ladder again

is the sports field only about winning

winning winning

is it only about perfect attendance and

grades and highest

test scores achievement and awards

how are we recognizing when our kids are

pouring their heart and their story into

the world

how can we make sure they know that’s

the priority that’s the way that we

measure their success you know

my husband drives our kids to school in

the morning because until

very recently mom was on the radio and

he does these affirmation questions with

them each day on the way to school and

they answer with

gusto he says who is brave i am they say

who’s kind me who’s smart me who’s a

leader

i am who’s going to pour their heart

into all they

do today i am who’s going to go out

and serve the world i am

how do we make sure our next generation

is able to share their heart and their

story

to the maximum extent of their vibration

let’s throw ice cream parties for that

so why do this why find your story why

share it why feel that frequency why

have a different measurement of success

because the world is waiting for your

story

your messy painful

joyful trailblazing ever evolving

survival story it matters

give it decibels go give your unique

story

frequency and amplitude to serve

the world and that my friend is success

[Music]

you