Story Bridges and Time Warps

good afternoon delighted to be here with

all of you

so without further ado let’s begin

[Music]

a song that reminds us

that birth is certain and death is

certain

all that is in between is drama and

stories

so let’s get on to some stories

if you walk around the holy city of

varanasi you will find

a unique custom there that when people

sit down to meditate

under a banyan tree or a people tree

they will always have beside them

a round pot a big one with a small round

hole

there are monkeys around and it is the

business of monkeys to do their

monkeying

and so when they get around to it and

come to disturb the meditator

the monkey gets distracted by the spot

because inside the pot

is a few bananas the monkey slides its

hand

in wraps it around the fist

but when it tries to get the hand out

there’s a catch

the hole is big enough for a straight

palm to slide in

and slide out but not for a closed fist

the monkey of course doesn’t realize

that all it has to do

is to let go of the banana for the hand

to come out

but it stays there first struggling then

confused

and then frozen in time and space

holding on and that’s what i did

i held on to i held on

to things that life showed me i had to

leave

it was the year 2000

2008 it was a year 2008

and

i was 31 years happily married

to an indian army officer had two

children

who were one and a half and three and a

half years old

and i was holding on to this picture

perfect life

of course life had to throw me out of

that slumber

january 2008

military hospital puna dr baliga was

reading my records and he said

um it’s a kidney ailment your

cholesterol count is 600 plus

it has to be below 200 and

you will need to be on steroids 80

tablets every day

four months of that life

and i knew that i dreaded each day

i knew that i really did not want this

but what is it that i wanted

i wasn’t sure it was long forgotten

lost in some unknown lands so i had to

really dig deep

and then the answer came

the answer was i wanted to tell stories

sing dance and with children

that made my eyes twinkle and that’s how

my first official storytelling event

happened in a small town in maharashtra

three weeks of stories dance fun

love and laughter 25 children

and the follow-up checkup after that dr

balagan looked at my records and said

we have to stop your medication you’re

perfectly fine

needless to say i never ever ever ever

ever ever gave up

storytelling well the learning for me

from that story

was seek your truth

seek the truth of your life and you will

certainly

blossom the destination after all is

again going to be one moment right

so let’s enjoy the journey

and let’s ignore the nissans like those

who would say hey she tells stories you

know

we also tell no yeah they’re not worth

worrying about it all there were others

who warned me

there were those who even threatened me

but stayed after naysayers my learning

it’s best to cut off from those noises

that do not serve your purpose

it’s best to cut off tune out of the

cacophony

tune into your favorite radio station

the trade-off for me in all of this was

bumpy rides of single motherhood zero

bank balance with two children to bring

but it was well worth the journey

because i got to hear

a beautiful voice from within when i cut

off the noises

it’s like being able to listen to the

second hand of the clock

only in the silence of the night

that’s how you get to hear your voice

soft and gentle

and when you follow this voice the solo

journeys can sometimes

be overwhelming

but they’re not really as solo as we

believe we are not

really as alone as we think so let me

give you a story for that

and this will take us to a forest

a beautiful forest and on the forest

floor

was lying a hummingbird on its back

with its legs pointing up to the sky

an elephant was walking by and saw the

strange sight and looked at the

hummingbird and said

whatever do you think you’re doing

i just received the news that the sky is

going to fall

so i’m lying down here to stop it

and the elephant said you teeny weeny

bird you

actually think you’re going to stop the

sky from falling

and the hummingbird said i’m doing my

bit

hearing this the elephant

quietly came beside the hummingbird lay

down

put his hands put his legs up and

together

they waited to catch the falling sky

the storytelling journey for me began

when i was trying to stop my sky from

falling

but the best part was i got to also stop

others skies from falling and even

better

others were there to stop my sky from

falling as well

for my very first public performance i

had hired a cultural center

and the owner said deepa i won’t take a

rental from you

i really like what you’re doing i want

to support you another friend

sent his team to do the ticketing

because otherwise i’d have to do it and

do my show as well

someone informed the press and we got a

half page coverage of the event

a few years ago a storyteller from

america wrote to me saying i really like

what you’re doing

as a gesture of appreciation i want to

gift your website

last month an elderly woman fan friend

whatsapped me saying deepa please can

you send me your bang details

i want to give you my blessings for

covet times

there’s yes there’s always support

there’s

always support the countless number of

well-wishers of kind-hearted

storytellers

of heads of institutions who’ve all

taken the effort to spread the word

festivals that invited me i the list

could go

on about the solidarity that came it’s

never a solo journey

there are so many people who are out

there to support us

so i’m famous for jumping off the cliff

and i keep telling everyone

just jump off the cliff some net will

appear or some hands will appear

or who knows you may even get wings and

you’ll start flying

so just jump off the cliff if you can

hear the voice clearly within you

well um i’ve been talking about how

stories can be so powerful and

empowering and bridges yeah

but stories have the inherent capacity

to also warp time

so let me explain that and of course

with another story

one pleasant afternoon mullana sirideen

was comfortably settled outside his

house in the front yard

under the tree and the whole environment

inspired him to write poetry

so he took out his notebook and pen and

he started to write poetry

but he was disturbed because he could

hear the children outside playing in the

afternoon singing

he was so irritated so he got up and he

went out to the children hey

and they all turn

listen don’t your children know that the

molly is giving sweets

really the children got very excited and

all of them ran away

and our mullah went back to write his

poetry

but as he was writing he saw some people

go by

and then some more and then saboni was

surprised on an afternoon

were these people going by so he went

and stopped him he said

hello where are you all going don’t you

know the mullah is giving sweets

and our mawlana sridhi thought

oh maybe really sweets are being

distributed so he left his poetry

and he also ran

so be careful what stories you tell

because the stories are surely going to

echo back to you and before you know it

they will become your truth

i’ve had moments of truth check like

this many times in my life

and here’s one of them it was december

2018

and a journalist who was interviewing me

was pushing me to speak about my mother

so tell us how did your mother

contribute to your storytelling journey

you have shared that your father you

know introduced you to stories he bought

you a lot of books and

what is your mother’s contribution

my mother never really contributed

anything she never understood my

storytelling journey she doesn’t even

accept me as a storyteller

in fact i went on to share with him my

favorite story that i love to tell about

my mother

it was the first time in 2016 that i’d

received an international invitation for

a storytelling festival in iran

yes this validates me as a storyteller

yes mama

here i come and very proudly i made a

call to her i said amma

do you know your daughter has been

invited to tell stories in iran

and my mother said are you iran pakistan

in the pundit

instead of being excited and

congratulating me

she was anxious for me that i was going

pakistan which she substituted for iran

in her head

and i told her journalists see my mother

never ever supported in fact she would

call me to tell me

harry you know what that uncle in

coimbatore is telling what that one is

jamshedpur is telling about your single

motherhood about your storytelling

career

these were the updates from her so i

said no no no nothing but this

journalist he was more stubborn than me

he didn’t give up he said that’s not

possible there must be something she

contributed

so i had to sit and think and think

and then i realized i said my mother’s

the one who introduced me to dance

she would take me for dance classes she

would take me for so many dance concerts

she and i would watch the best of the

best indian classical

dancers performed on doordarshan

national television

she would even record it so that we

could watch it later

and amma and i watched those recordings

a multiple number of times

she brought dance into my life and dance

is an

integral part of my storytelling dance

is what gives life to my style of story

narration

ah see the journalist with a smug smile

it was a moment of truth i had to admit

and the self-reflection continued and i

said you know i was able to make

all those international travels for so

many different festivals

primarily because my mother would come

and look after the children or

my children’s paternal grandparents or

even their father

it was so many people who contributed to

the journey

they all took turns to be there to be

available i admitted

turns out i’m not a very reliable

storyteller

well what it really turns out is that

the nature of stories is

unreliable so the danger of these

stories

is they can walk time and we are

struggling

with the past and the present but the

beauty

of these stories is that

it reminds us we have a choice we have a

choice

to step back and choose which narrative

is going to empower and to leave behind

the one which is not so as

aha raman said in his oscar speech let

us choose

love us choose stories

that empower and refuse the ones

that draw us down

and i’d like to leave you with one such

story

it was the year 2016 and i went to a

school

in rural south india

called povidam a residential school for

children of migrant workers

in rural tamil nadu of course i didn’t

miss the chance to spend time with the

children telling them stories

playing games with them the children

were from grade one and two

it was a new game i shared and one child

didn’t get the rules very clear and i

gently reminded her that she was

forgetting the rules

madanpaitiya immediately

her classmates put their arms around and

said

which meant akash she doesn’t follow or

understand very well you know

and that’s when i noticed something that

i should have noticed earlier

that girl was older than the rest of

them

obviously she was a child who was

biologically older

but had different needs and so she was

with the little ones but what

amazed me most was the children

were protective of her and even went on

to make her win the game because she was

so involved and enthusiastic

and excited being someone who works with

teachers training them on ways to engage

with the natural intelligence of the

child

through stories through music and arts

this was an experience that left me

awestruck

i delighted in the children guiding me

along on the journey of togetherness

which is what life is all about so what

better definition of education

can be asked for this experience left me

deeply inspired

and is one of those songs my heart likes

to sing

my heart likes to remember

so my learning find the song that

inspires you

seek the musicians who inspire you join

the band

and sing along you and i are going to

die

you and i are going to die so let’s not

die

with our songs unsunk

[Applause]

[Music]

you and i are going to die so let’s sing

our songs before we do thank you