The Story of my Life.

[Music]

it’s not where you start

it’s where you finish that’s not how you

go

it’s how you land this lyric from see

saw the musical always reminds me that

we don’t often have control of where we

start

and while we do have some control of the

destination we have little control

of the twists and turns that life throws

our way our job

is to focus on that landing and being

open to the possibilities because where

you land

is not always what you planned this is

me at three

painfully shy so why i thought

a career in theater was a good idea

still baffles me today

i figure it’s a combo of three things

number one my older brother was doing it

and any cool points i could get with him

was necessary

number two nobody told me that i had to

audition and finally

the magic the very first musical i saw

was alibaba at riverside children’s

cedar

my brother was one of the leads and i

will never forget being in a packed

audience watching my brother sing

completely off-key

with a hundred other kids running around

stage entertaining a crowd

that was magic and i wanted to be a part

of it

sitting in a seat very close to the one

in this picture they called my name

my mom nudged me to get up on the stage

tears immediately started swelling up as

i went center stage

and made the 90 degree turn to face my

critics and the 100 other kids that

were there to audition that day i

immediately began to ugly cry through my

song

and i glanced over at my mom for moral

support the problem was she was crying

too

but i did it and i got cast

well all right so so did every other kid

whose parents were willing to

pay for the admission that year but

i said yes dopey was definitely my big

breakout role

very appropriate because these ears were

so big they didn’t fit the prosthetics

so they had to put little spot toppers

on top

that was awesome two years later i

landed the title role of pinocchio in

pinocchio this is my best friend ryan to

this day

and my little sister playing cleo the

fish

auditions got easier and i actually

started enjoying myself

peter pan at riverside civic or opera at

riverside

community college was my very first

semi-pro gig

the show gave me three unique firsts

first unlike riverside children’s

theater

not everybody who auditioned got in

number two

i got my first college credits thank you

very much 1.5 units

and number three it was the very first

time

i was around kids that really wanted to

be there

total theater nerds i mean they had

professional head shots

some had agents one had even been on tv

and legit some of them had like some

serious stage moms

but surrounding myself with that kind of

drive and being aware of the talent in

the room

inspired me to work harder and i was

hooked

so i was a little surprised in my high

school career

that basically said arts didn’t rank at

all i had no idea what i wanted to do so

why not i decided to apply to cal state

fullerton for an advertising major

with a minor in music wasn’t ready to

give up arts just yet

at the end of my second year i was

walking down the music department and i

saw

a flyer the american musical and

dramatic academy

new york city two-year conservatory

i said yes i got accepted and i picked

up everything and moved all the way to

new york city for the fall semester

this is times square in 1997.

very close to the scene of my very first

broadway musical

greece starring xena the warrior

princess as rizzo

as i watched my very first broadway show

i got wicked concerned

not because the tv princess was playing

in the musical but because

i was clearly not ready every single

cast member down to the smallest of the

ensemble was absolute perfection

i had some serious work to do and i was

very aware

that i was not ready i saw every

broadway show possible

one of my favorite habits was going in a

half hour early as soon as they opened a

theater and i would pour through the

playbill

i wanted to know what every cast member

had done in their career i wanted to

know where they trained and who they

gave credit to because

success leaves clues why start from

scratch right

every show inspired me to work a little

bit harder i began to sign up for extra

classes and gymnastics outside of school

i knew that there was 100 guys right

behind me that wanted it just as bad as

i did

if not more and i had to show up and

play hard

to save money to pay for all my extra

classes i lived in some

very interesting places this is my bed

in the hallway and hell’s kitchen

the bricks would often crumble on my

face in the middle of the night there

was no ac

the bathroom was off the kitchen and it

didn’t have a door and i had to climb

four flights of stairs just to get in

the apartment

and i loved it i loved every minute of

it

i didn’t come to new york city to sleep

after graduation i learned that the arts

was not an easy profession

i signed up for a career that i got

rejection almost every day

i didn’t always know where my next

paycheck was going to come from

and i had to be willing to pick up

absolutely everything and go somewhere

completely new however long they needed

me at the drop of a hat

even in foreign countries if my parents

had an inkling that

i would fail or that hey i even sucked

they never let me know

they made it a habit of surprising me at

almost every single show i ever did

even showing up in foreign countries

even

when i was playing ricky martin out of

puerto rico

good casting choice they were my

champions

champions are those inner circle people

that love and authentically support you

no matter what they don’t always have to

be blood related

because when life gets hard you need

them around you you better cultivate

those

champions be aware of who they are and

treat them right

because you’re going to need them this

picture was one of those moments

i didn’t tell you the complete story of

why i ended up in new york

yes i left to pursue a dream and maybe

it’s because i was listless in

california

but i also ran away

i long knew i was gay and i genuinely

feared that the moment i came out i

would be disowned

new york city was my exit and a way to

completely go out on my own and know

that i would be okay

i don’t have time for that story in this

story

but my worst nightmare never came true

these two

were my champions and they never let me

down

and that’s a good thing because they i

did not disappoint i came with great

stories and some great trips that they

got to go on

my first break came out of college it

was a european tour of 42nd street

what you can tell in this photo was i’m

dancing with on a sprained ankle

and i’m with parasite yup my first night

in europe i ate two street burgers and

ended up in a spanish hospital

but i never missed the performance

i wish i had a picture of my first union

contract princess turndot

i was probably too busy doing eight

shows a week off broadway working 30

hours a week

and juggling a full-time schedule so i

could finish my undergrad degree

who has time for pictures when you’re

doing that kind of schedule

but i showed up i never missed a show

and i never let him see me sweat

my most embarrassing audition was

definitely damn yankees at the call back

all the guys were asked to

throw some tricks because there was a

number in the show where every single

ball player had to be able to tumble

surrounded by 50 other guys and in front

of the entire directing team i proceeded

to do a round off

backhand spring back tuck ish

i didn’t stick the landing well i did

stick the landing into the laps of the

casting directors

i missed the landing but i got the gig

they said yes and i was really lucky

they did

you see the dance camp that damn yankees

introduced me to

another friend of his who worked on wall

street and i wouldn’t appreciate this

moment in time until many many years

later

from 5 pm to 1 at night at rockefeller

center i was in a bullpen with other

professional artists working on

acquisition and merger presentations

these presentations compiled

massive amounts of data showing off

potential deals to investors

and i really liked it i learned about

branding

marketing corporate due diligence and

data uh

creative and data guy unicorn status

right

i know the job allowed me to finish my

undergrad

it had allowed me to hit all my

auditions and even take gigs outside of

the city for months knowing that when i

got back

they would hire me back and i was

incredibly grateful

my pro my professional career started

picking up steam

i was getting call backs for three

broadway productions my agent was

calling a little bit more

and i was on the edge so close of

getting what i had come to new york for

and on the 62nd floor of rockefeller

center

i got the call the cancer had returned

mom was in stage four and suddenly it

didn’t matter anymore

i sold everything in return to

california

my champions needed me this time

i moved to la to be closer to auditions

while still being close enough to

parents

45 minutes without traffic after this

production of music man that you see

here i was forced to have unexpected

ankle surgery

desperate to make the cast of the west

coast premiere of miss saigon happen the

following season

i did the surgery i did my physical

therapy i auditioned and they

said yes one of the most talented cast

i’ve ever gotten to work with

on the first day of troubling rehearsal

i went down

i went down hard prognosis

back arthritis and a torn disc

years of not listening to doctor’s

orders and thinking i was invincible had

finally caught up with me

at 28 shift

i i didn’t have a choice a decade of

building a professional brand

gone just like that

no time to waste i immediately began

looking for my next chapter

thankfully all those skills in new york

transferred

beautifully i booked a marketing gig in

construction and within six months

wall street was calling again i got the

gig

i cleared my background test and was due

to start in a week when i got another

call back

uh more like the top secretary meeting

with me privately to let me know who the

real boss was

yeah as a performer professional union

actor

i like to get paid for drama i called my

pops afterwards kvetching

discouraged he let me emotional bar for

a little bit

and then he casually stated come work

with me

my dad was a flipper my first memory of

flipping houses was at around

age five sucking cockroaches up with a

vacuum all afternoon as my family was

pulling old carpet up from a

roach-infested house i said yes

the family business had expanded to

lending to flippers as well as

investor training within the first year

we rebranded the company

we created a 400 page report with 800

charts

called the california crash warning

investors it was time to get out of

california to escape the foreclosure

crisis ahead

we then spent the next 12 months

creating 1200 pages of market strategies

on what investors should be doing to

thrive in the shifting market

we even launched a radio show in 2007

interviewing thought leaders across our

industry while giving

access to nerd status intel not

typically available in our industry

in 2008 at the height of the great

recession i approached dad with another

brilliant idea hey pops how about we

invite

400 people to a black tie event at the

nixon presidential library

we’ll feed them all we’ll put together

an expert panel

and we’ll pay for everything so 100 of

what we can raise goes to charity in

honor of mom

it’s like dinner theater for real estate

he said yes and so did our panelists

our speakers progressively got more

national in scope to include

top technology brands and government

officials

for a small company like ours it was a

huge coup

it was really surprising to watch of

some of the skills i had picked up in

new york

transferred some by sheer chance

it all began to pay off i won’t pretend

that part was easy

there was certainly a sense of lingering

failure from new york city

and there was definitely a sense of

imposter syndrome

what right did i have to be part of some

real estate business

instead of focusing on the doubt i dug

in

i focused on learning i went back and

got my mba at uc irvine to up my data

game

after graduation my partner said hey why

don’t you start serving on boards

sounds great i don’t even know boards

really do but i’m here for it i

said yes constantly looking to grow and

to challenge myself

at one point i was serving on eight

boards and committees that started all

over the county and eventually

the country and i loved it

i had accidentally stumbled on a second

passion i didn’t even know

existed a few years earlier philanthropy

who knew i got to work with pops

i got to give back in incredibly

meaningful ways and i got to

be close to mom we even checked off some

of the most spectacular

international bucket list trips with her

after 17 years of fighting cancer six of

which were stage four

my number one champion passed

i want you to know i never regret

showing up for her

and moving back to california not once

quite the opposite i am forever grateful

after mom passed i was inspired to

update the mission of our business to

building wealth and legacy through real

estate

helping small business owners crush it

was already part of our niche

adding the legacy piece inspiring small

businesses to give back created a whole

new fire under me

and an unique path winner within our

company

there’s this terrible misconception that

giving is strictly a function of money

but time and talent holds just as much

value as treasure

sometimes more you don’t have to be

wealthy

you don’t have to be over 40 you don’t

even have to look a certain way

you just have to show up that’s it you

have to say yes

what surprised me the most is giving

back actually gave back

to me i learned more about leadership in

the last 15 years volunteering on boards

than i did at work or any other formal

education setting

this newfound passion turned into

national speaking gigs

as well as writing for forbes.com and

several other national outlets

this is the magazine cover think realty

magazine and they were nice enough to do

a feature of dad and i on their 2018

cover

we created i survive real estate to give

back and to honor my mom

i had zero idea it would take on a life

of its own

six months ago when i agreed to do this

talk this is roughly where i would have

stopped

up in that top right corner is a me

moderating the panel in 2019 at i

survive real estate

on the stage is the ceo of property

radar shawn o’toole

we only met because of this event and we

watched each other’s work

over the last decade long story short

as vice president of market insights for

property radar

i get to speak nationally helping small

businesses leverage data

to disrupt disruptors and win by doing

things wall street companies won’t

and yes of course it always includes a

little bit of local

philanthropy i continue to work remotely

for with the norris group and i remain

co-owner

and in a few days from when i’m taping

this right now we will be taping i

survive real estate

2020 now in its 13 years and we are just

about

30 grand away from crossing the million

dollar mark

i would have never thought that that shy

three-year-old would have competed at

the broadway level

i didn’t know my 28 year old body would

have given out and dash my dreams

i had no idea playing a ball player and

screwing up an audition

would lead to a side hustle in new york

that would eventually lead me to working

for my family business

after coming out i didn’t think i would

ever even move back to california

and nobody gave me the script showing me

it was possible to find a second passion

and that philanthropy would be the

gateway to writing national speaking and

a career

in technology it’s okay to not know

where you’re going

please say yes to weird to interesting

and the scary things

collect and cherish your champions work

to find

opportunity in every disappointment

and please be generous with your time

your talent and your treasure at 43

i’m telling you the lyric is spot on

it’s not where you start it’s where you

finish

it’s not how you go it’s how you land