Redefining change turning progress into power

good afternoon

i appreciate you being here today and

everybody online

my story is a very simple story i love

flying

and in fact my love of flying started as

a little girl

in a small township called wadville east

of johannesburg

now you wonder township flying of course

every saturday in my township with a

small park

and because we are not very far from a

hunger

infantic small aircraft which you just

passed by

and of course if you know the story of

the township you will know we were told

the beds and the beast story in the

airplane way so

this is how the story goes that lucky

families

every saturday will get a package in the

form of a baby

that gets dropped off by this flying

machine and of course

knowing that story you can imagine we

start singing

the flying machine song i know you don’t

know it but that song is powerful

because we have

little girls my age singing the flying

machine song

now why does that matter it meant i

loved looking up

i loved the gift that came

with the flying machine and of course i

had a very adventurous grandfather

my grandfather did anything and

everything so one sunday he says

you love flying let me sneak you in the

van deykhanga

we go there he tells me this is the

tamak this is what the flight looks like

it goes up but why was he showing me

this he says i think you’ve got

something inside of you

i want you to do exactly what is

happening here

prepare before a flight takes decide

on a destination and then fly because

the sky is the limit

well i loved that story so i went to

school

i prepared remember the sky is the limit

that’s what i was chasing

and i was very happy with that i prepare

myself

i make myself ready to fly there i am

in the sky business class going

somewhere

cause let me land because the story

happens on land

i get doors open for me so now i’ve i’m

in flight

i’m ready i opened this door because

somebody

had welcomed me in seemingly but guess

what i

arrive and the room is full i look

around i find

no chair but guess what i’m very

innovative so i look at two little

scrony colleagues

who i knew that if i just wiggle left

and right

i could make my way so i do that

and the gentlemen are very uncomfortable

and of course somebody says it can’t be

like this she’s just arrived

let’s do something better let’s get her

chair i’m

so happy now i’ve got a chair this is

the chair i’m supposed to sit in

as i try to sit in oh my god it’s a

three-legged chair

i raised my hand hello it’s a

three-legged chair i’m here

and they’re like that’s the only chair

available so unlike my other colleagues

who are male by the way they’re sitting

comfortably

i am sitting preoccupied thinking dear

lord let me not fall

you know let me focus on the chair so

i’m sitting squished and all of that and

then i say okay

i can deal with a chair you know when

you come from the township you can do

anything

because i’ll tell you that story my

grandmother used to put a paint

uh empty paint and stuff and her legs of

her bed were high so i’m thinking not a

problem

empty paint put soil my chair is now

solid

you would think i was comfortable right

but i wasn’t

there was no placement so i’m like i’m

on the table now

i’m in the room i got a chair sorted but

i don’t have a placement

and of course being should be and you

don’t know about the hubies you know we

were never annexed by shaka

so we’re warriors so i set off and i’m

like i’m gonna fight

this one i’m already in and i’m not

getting out

in floovey style i pick up my spears i’m

in the battle

and of course most of you know that

battle i fight my way

up because remember my grandmother my

grandfather told me

there’s only one way up i realized that

going

one way up had its challenges but the

biggest challenge about it is

you would not be included irrespective

of how much you tried and in fact

the more i tried to get included the

more excluded i became

then i began to realize i was fighting

this the wrong way

it wasn’t about getting women in the

room

getting in is easy it was about me

taking

charge and realizing that i would need

to include

myself on my own terms intellectually

and with impact and of course

all wars end in peace i declared a

treaty

and now i was stuck because all of a

sudden the battles that i’d fought i had

too many scratches

i had too many challenges and i was

tired and i’m sure so many women like me

get tired

in this upward uh direction because we

all want to go up we all want to succeed

up

but it’s a tiring battle then of course

i went back to my grandfather’s story it

couldn’t make sense why would he say the

sky is the limit

when i arrived there and don’t get

fooled i did

get up so the sky was becoming the limit

but the burden of getting to that limit

was just too much then i asked myself

maybe there’s more than just one way we

are brought up

to succeed upwards perhaps there is a

possibility

that you can succeed sideways and

succeed downwards

and then of course i’m at the crossroads

and then i remembered

my father was a taxi owner he owned

taxis so

i used to be in the middle seat helping

him come change

and i remember people who go short left

short left mean the guy wasn’t really

going there it means you could command

a taxi to stop in the shortest direction

possible

so i declared my shot left when i began

to declare my shot left i decided

that i would exist in any space

and every space but i would refuse

to play by everyone’s rules i’ll refuse

to take the direction that everyone is

taking

upwards is full the airports are full

the the tarmac is full i would decide

to go find my own way and of course this

is how i decide to find my own way i’ve

got to face my own fears

so my biggest fear is the fear of flying

and quests what do i do

i tell my children mommy is going to

face her fear

of heights so i go to

the soweto towers i get there they tell

me

something is broken you can jump

okay i google they say ziplining there i

go

i’m gonna zip line and i’m very excited

about ziplining

so i go there i get there they say we’re

just about to close you wanna come next

week

and i told myself that weekend i needed

to jump because i’d taken a shot

left and i needed to figure out what

next and of course

for some stupid reason and i’ll call it

that for today

i decide why not jump out of a plane

because i’ve always loved flying and of

course they tell me

we’re ready for you if you are here six

hours later we’re good to go

with my family in tow in the car as i go

here

my first daughter says before we go do

you have insurance

do you have your will ready because we

don’t see you coming back and that is

significant because that’s what people

will tell you

and of course my mother says you know

there’s different ways to kill yourself

there’s a poison called

alipirim just drink that and get it over

and done with it’s easy

don’t put us through that trauma then my

second daughter says

you might fly you might you might come

out

but you might break your legs

okay that’s good enough and of course my

youngest one is a cheerleader she says

just don’t do it mommy i’m still young

you know we still need you and of course

as i register

they tell me please indemnify us from

your death

you might fall and die

why am i telling you this i then get up

and then i i’m in this airplane there

are no seats

but i’ve got a guy behind me because i

was doing tandem

this guy was my support and of course

once you’re up there you can’t come back

and of course we go up as we go up the

window the door opens and you can

imagine

opening a door for an empty aircraft the

wind is mind-blowing at that time i’m

thinking

i have to go back but there’s no way of

turning back because once you’ve defined

a way

you cannot turn back and of course i am

convinced people at flight school don’t

know how to count

i hear 1 5

8 10 amount and you can imagine

flowing without knowing which way i’m

going

but as we do that the parachute opens

it goes sideways because that’s

literally how it starts to flow

and then i remembered that’s exactly

what i wanted to know

that you could succeed sideways

and of course as we go through the

clouds he starts saying

remember we are going to land there is

success

in going down and of course i get

confirmation

that you can succeed sideways and

sometimes succeed downwards

but what did i learn through that

genuine let me close out

the first one in the first january as

really chagazulu’s sister

i learned that you can never conquer

environment you don’t accept

some things are just what they are and

therefore if

inclusion is not in the agenda

understand that and find a brand new way

because a whole lot of us myself

included we’ve bashed a lot of our heads

trying to be included

in environments we shouldn’t have been

fighting for inclusion

in but we should have been fighting for

recreating

and finding our new voice our new space

in fact the way i saw my journey

is i actually left the big table i went

and got in myself the small kindergarten

table and a small chair

and i made myself comfortable because

for the last seven years i decided no

one was going to define

my journey i was gonna find a way so

what does succeeding sideways mean for

me succeeding sideways means

actually abandoning the the old way of

doing things

it means defining that success is not

about a tick box

it was about those things that are

breath

those things that impact more than just

you

and of course when you try to do that in

a normal environment

becoming an anomaly you would must know

two things

you will become a target and i remember

walking feeling like you know people are

throwing dots

some are lending some are not lending

but you got to live with that

knowing that if you want to create a

legacy

you’re going to have to forfeit your

personal brand

you are going to have to take it for the

dream and for those who are biblical you

are going to have to be the sacrificial

lamb because

big changes are made by small things

done in an extraordinary way then i ask

myself succeeding downwards what does

that mean

succeeding downwards means sometimes

accepting defeat

in the war you never decided to fight

for it means saying

it is enough i’m going back to my center

because everything starts on the ground

it meant building a solid base it meant

not only succeeding the way everybody

was talking about it it meant

i could sell shoes and be damn good at

it

it meant i could be a painter and be

damn good at it not all

roads were corporate not all roads are

meant

to go through that one big direction

when you go downwards you begin to

harness

that which is sitting inside of you and

the day i began to liberate myself like

that

changed everything i can words in a

corporate and have everybody scratching

their way up

in my world i’m doing it sideways and

downwards

and therefore i’m not fighting for

anything that they have

i’m trying to create something that they

want because there’s more than just one

way to succeed

and i think women especially we are

trained to go

into spaces which are crowded maybe like

me

you have the curves you know in my youth

we used to say this is

a mahuba skloof and the chinese cave you

come from limpopo which meant

you could do this and that but none of

all of us have got that so i’m appealing

to women who are like me

who are supposed to fly this mud light

aircraft

to say you don’t have to be in a bowie

when the bullying is full

go find that small airfield

and start building your own tarmac and

start

buying your own fleet and start flying

your own flight plan and of course

as i began to do that i started feeling

alone

and i started saying people are not

supportive

but my people told me we love you

we’re actually extremely supportive but

we don’t support

possibility so we are with you but

not in that crazy way of possibility so

when you get into this new path

you gotta know you’re gonna have to walk

alone

you’re going to have to love your own

shadow you’re going to have to love the

sound of your own voice and that is okay

too because guess what the multiplicity

of voices

it what makes the world go round they

used to tell me it’s money but it is not

and as i said anybody can make money but

nobody can make

money in the way that they would want

their great-grandchildren to remember

so i stopped scratching i stopped

fighting

and i started to plant a new route now

you can ask me where am i

now i don’t know but i’m walking

and i’m walking in a different direction

and i’m loving it

now would i ever get recognition that

goes up

hell if it happens that’s great but

guess what

in the land of sideways and the land of

downwards

we don’t need recognition we don’t need

inclusion

we are already on the ground and

therefore

as i talk for myself and many other

women who have got small

dreams but that are supposedly

manifesting in a big way with people who

matter to them

that changes the whole narrative that

means women stop

fighting for against sorry

they start fighting for something

and because we’ve been fighting to be

included so we’re fighting against the

system

we’ve been fighting to be part of the

statistics

and i remembered when my grandmother

said my grandfather said you

there’s something in you and what he was

telling me is you know the statistics

and my invitation is for women today

to remember you’re not a statistic

you’re not supposed to be counted all

the way up

if there’s no way up go find your own

path

but redefine how you want to succeed

and of course in the last couple of

weeks as i was really reflecting on this

journey

kamala harris said something important

that i’m the first but i’m definitely

not the last

and then i looked back because you know

the roads of sideways and downwards are

empty

there is no ground i’m now looking back

i’m take building one brick at a time

a new tarmac so that hopefully

women who decide to follow my path

women who are going to improve my path

can at least found a gravel road

that i’ve made possible for them so that

we can build a legacy

that is different so as i conclude

i shot lifted and i’m happy as i

conclude

i’m piloting my own flight and that’s

the most beautiful space

you can ever be in because every woman

is unique

every journey is unique reward and

recognition

is not everything personal growth

and contentment is the thing thank you

you