Defining Success

[Applause]

many people

have often spoken about the secret to

success

or ways to become successful

some even believe that there are

shortcuts to it

as if success is a remote place that

only a few have traveled to while us

the others are considered unsuccessful

people

you see to me defining success

is a complex matter and my definition of

it

has grown or better yet changed or

evolved many times over the course of my

life

i grew up in the city of newburgh in a

single parent household

my mother there did all she could to

raise myself

and my two sisters the right way when i

was little

my vision of success was making it

through a church service

with hopes of being treated to some

mcdonald’s french fries afterwards

i love mcdonald’s fries i actually had

some today

my father was never around in fact i

never met him

he left our family when i was just eight

months old

growing up my vision of success was

having a complete family

my sisters they excelled in academics

and the arts

both of them learned how to play the

violin i excelled in

cutting class missing school and just

getting by in fact this was an art form

that i mastered at an early age

my senior year of high school i had to

take three different math classes to

graduate

one in the morning one in the afternoon

and another during night school as that

year

came closer and closer to an end i heard

my friends talking about going to

college

suny morrisville or stony brook and

i couldn’t graduate in june because i

was still missing credits

but i did graduate after a short stint

of senior year summer school by all

regards

my future was uncertain most likely i

was going to end up working at a

dead-end job

in trouble or just a life without

purpose

to be blunt all signs pointed to me

being unsuccessful

after graduating high school i worked at

every store

at the woodbury commons

but this isn’t what you’re thinking

though every store paid a little bit

more than the next

and i moved on because at that time my

vision of success

was buying a fly outfit and some nice

sneakers

or maybe taking my girlfriend out on a

nice steak dinner

look at her isn’t she lovely

but one day my life changed after

getting off the bus and walking home

from school

i saw a big sign that said twenty

thousand dollars to join the new york

state army national guard

and in that instant my vision of success

changed again it was getting twenty

thousand dollars

buying a car and coming back to my

hometown

showing off to all my friends i made it

i’m successful

i joined the national guard on october

9th 2007 and was shipped off to fort

sill oklahoma

to learn how to be a soldier and a

cannon crew member

the first night of in processing they

give you one

phone call to a loved one to let them

know that you made it and you’re safe

who did i call my girlfriend

when she picked up the phone i heard it

in her voice i knew something was wrong

i was like babe what’s going on where

you at she goes i’m at the hospital

i said the hospital what’s up her

stomach was hurting and she was in pain

she was pregnant my world stopped

there goes my nice car my twenty

thousand dollars

everything but in that instant my vision

of success changed again

it was being a good father the father

that i never had

taking care of and providing for my

family

making it through basic training had a

new purpose to me i had a new reason why

i did it made it through basic training

and came home that april

but now was the hard part i was back in

my hometown

18 years old a part-time soldier no

career

no true path forward and the baby on the

way

my leadership they told me that my

twenty thousand dollar signing bonus

will be given to me in two halves ten

thousand now

and ten thousand in three years the ten

thousand now

turned into six thousand dollars after

taxes

i was devastated i had no idea how to

prepare for this baby

our son julius was born that june my

girlfriend and i had to live with her

parents for about a year

before i had to make some tough

decisions the national guard was not

working for me

i was at a dead-end job i wasn’t being

the best version of myself

and i felt i had no purpose so in that

low

i was thinking my way out was to join

the active duty military

that way i can have a sense of purpose i

can take care of and provide for my

family

in 2009 i changed my job to logistics i

was stationed at

fort drum new york home of the 10th

mountain division

there i learned how to be a real soldier

and in the spring of 2012 my unit was

deployed

was scheduled to deploy to afghanistan

surprise my wife was pregnant

again i skipped too many health classes

i

i must admit i’m sorry

our daughter miana was born in february

and i deployed a month later in march

and during that time my vision of

success was making it back home safe to

my family

saving money because i heard you could

make a lot while you were deployed

and getting promoted our deployment

was tough both in country and for the

family state side

but i made it i came back home safe and

sound

just as broke as when i left and i

didn’t get promoted

but after working and striving for

promotion i finally got it

i was a sergeant in the united states

army i reached a notable level of

success

i found purpose again my family and

myself were reassigned

to joint base lewis mccord there

my units worked long and hard hours

training days and nights in the field

or on special assignments it was there

where i learned vital life lessons in

leadership responsibility personal

accountability

and professionalism but after leaving

the army my vision of success changed

yet again it was being a college

graduate

and having a noble career that helped

people

being a non-traditional college student

that’s another ted talk in itself

but i didn’t i attended and graduated

from fordham university

with a bachelor’s and master’s degree

today my vision of success

is being a good father to our four

children

being a wonderful husband being the

perfect

softball coach for my daughter’s team

all while being a role model to my

students here

at goshen high school i now know

that success is not a remote place

success is complex

and ever-changing but at its core is to

have purpose

you see i took a non-traditional journey

to attain traditional success

i’m now part of the academic machine

that pushes college

career and civic duties however i’m

pushing back against the ideal

as the only pathway to success there are

successful people all around us

in fact here are a few of my friends

orlando underwood as an army veteran and

successful

realtor in kansas city ashley eatings

is a dedicated mother and wife who has

successfully homeschooled her two

children

for the past two years justin acosta

is a successful restaurant owner of

borico in new ends in new york

he makes some of the best puerto rican

food off the island

rosemonia is a sergeant first class in

the united states army

with over 15 years of honorable service

to our country

in fact if you look to your left and

you’re right in the audience

you may very well be sitting next to a

successful person

or you yourself may be a success story

you see it’s never too late to

accomplish it’s never too late to have

purpose to triumph in life there is no

exact date

there is no use by label finally

success has different meanings to

different people

there is no one size fits all so now i

ask you

how will you define your success

thank you