Perfection Will Not Make You Successful

[Applause]

[Applause]

so

when you think about this perfect

student what’s the first thing that

comes to your mind

probably someone that’s service oriented

and that is always

up to help everybody else at school

someone that has lots and lots of

curriculars and seems to balance his or

her time

someone that’s productive 24 7 and is

always always busy with something

or someone that studies more than 9

hours a day

this sounds crazy but it’s true

and above all obviously someone that has

a 4.0 gpa

because who would we be without grades

right

well hi here i am the embodiment of the

perfect student

and let me tell you that even though

one might think that being the perfect

student

will make you visible to others and will

give you a lot of opportunities

it in fact in my case at least made me

invisible

you may wonder why well trying to embody

perfection

means neglecting all of the other parts

of yourself that are imperfect

and this is pretty harsh in the sense

that

you can only explore the parts that

actually contribute to your to the

embodiment of this perfect identity

and all of the other passions you have

are left neglected

because at least in my case i didn’t

have the courage to explore

my artistic side to explore my side that

was very interested in poetry

because that didn’t quite fit with the

definition of a smart kid that i had

which was

being good at the sciences and math so

i made myself invisible to myself

and through this process i learned that

maybe perfection is not something that

we should romanticize as much

maybe perfection is not achievable at

all

and in fact it is not but

it also led me to redefine my definition

of success

because we also the idea that success is

this

um productivity concept this concept of

being at the top of everything of

producing all of the time of

being in the top universities being in

the top employer

gaining awards being recognized and

maybe for some people

success is that but at least for me i

realized it was not

because this wasn’t making me happy and

i think happiness

goes above any weird definition of

success that society tries to sell us

so in this talk i’m going to give you

the three steps i took to combat

perfection

to accept myself as an imperfect being

and to make the most out of it

so the first step is to recognize that

there are things out of your control as

a perfectionist

it’s really hard to recognize that

because we always want to have

everything under control

however it is true even if you give your

100 or 200 percent effort in something

you’re not guaranteed that you’re going

to get to that goal

and meritocracy tells us this idea the

idea that

if we give our maximum afford then we’re

going to reach the success

when then we’re going to get into an ivy

league then we’re going to get that

promotion we were seeking for

for the past three years but that’s not

true

there are so many other factors that

affect

how you reach that definition of success

and these factors are way beyond our

control factors such as

whoever whoever wrote read your

application for college or

the amount of scholarships that were

available for latinx students

or simply what the company or the school

or

whoever was looking for like their

requirements

and and that’s okay it’s hard but it’s

okay

and this point was inspired by um an

interview that i read

that was conducted to daniel markowitz

he’s an author of

a book called the meritocracy trap and

he basically uh tells us about

how meritocracy is flawed how this idea

that if you give your maximum four

you’re going to

go into that ivy league you’re going to

get the best education you’re going to

uh get hired in like the best company

ever

um but that’s not true because

we live in an unequal society in a

society

where factors really influence

how successful you can be in the

definite in the

common definition of success right

because also if you think about

it not everybody is going to get that

job offer not everybody is going to get

that

interview or that um that admission

because the space is limited

unfortunately and as i said there are so

many factors influencing

this decision so what i realized in my

process of

getting rejected from my dream school

was that i had to redefine what success

was

because my definition of success was

directly linked

to getting into that specific school

which i didn’t

and when i didn’t i felt that as if all

my effort was worthless as

if all i have worked for wasn’t worth

anything

so i tried to redefine what success was

for me at least in this stage of my life

and it was getting into a good

engineering a university

and let me tell you i did and i couldn’t

be

more happy so the first step is to

recognize that there are things

out of your control and that’s fine and

you should give

that things that those things are out of

your control to see

that definition of success can be

broader

and making the definition of success

rather for yourself

enables you to explore more

opportunities and you might end up

in a in a job offer or

in a university that’s way better for

you and where you can be truly happy

so be more open about your definition of

success

the second step is to stay away from

toxic productivity

and what do i mean from toxic product to

productivity

well we tend to think that if we are

busy all of the time

if we are working all the time then

we’re going to reach our goals like

that in a flash but

it’s kind of not true because if you’re

busy all the time

are you truly enjoying what you’re doing

um let me tell you an example

i love love love love participating in

service activities

i’m very passionate about social justice

so i have been involved in various

feminist organizations where

i live and for me this was a passion

this was an interest i explored outside

from

my academics right but

when i got involved in a feminist

collective i strike

i started to try to measure my

productivity

to place my productivity in that

collective

as a benchmark to on how successful i

would be in the future

which didn’t make any sense because it

wasn’t directly tied with

my academics but whatever that was my

mindset so i would literally

literally measure the hours i

spent talking to my friends at the

feminist collective

of the hours i would spend just making

promotion

for the various workshops we offered

and in this process i started to

view this passion for social justice as

a burden

so i wasn’t really enjoying the work i

was doing

therefore i invite you to step away from

your future expectations for a moment

even if it’s just

for two minutes um

try to fill your environment with all

your senses and be present

because you when you’re present you’re

not thinking about the future and about

how

your productivity rates connect to

to how successful you will be or to your

career or whatever

no simply be present simply enjoy what

you’re doing

in this moment even if you are just

sitting down

even if you’re just hearing my talk

and then find an activity that

it’s too boring or too

or too simple that you don’t want to

measure it so for example

maybe um listening to a random podcast

about like

conspiracy theories or a podcast about

um

about penguins i don’t know but just

take a minute

they just take some time to explore that

without

trying to relate that to your career or

to your future goals

and finally just

i invite you to do a service activity

because when you do a service activity

if you are truly involved and committed

to it without trying to measure it

then it’s easier for you to disconnect

from those goals and expectations that

sometimes can be very selfish

and just be with others interact with

others

and see explore different emotions that

come from service because when you do

that

it’s more likely that you’re not going

to start thinking about

like how you have to get that job

promotion or that your

acceptance letter curious present

and the third and final step to combat

toxic productivity and the

normalized definition of success and

perfection

is that you have to start recognizing

yourself as

a multi-dimensional self yeah

what is that you may ask well trying to

strive for perfection makes just

unidimensional because it makes you just

focus on the aspect of ourselves that’s

directly tied to the definition of

perfection we want to embody

so for me as i said earlier

the definition of perfection for me was

being the smart kid

to be the smart kid i had to only focus

on my intelligence and on how

productive i was but what about the

maria that was an only child the maria

that

loved to hang out with her friends and

have long conversations the maria that

really wanted to

continue figure skating what about her

she was left neglected because i didn’t

recognize myself as a multi-dimensional

being that could have many many passions

aside from

her perfect identity so start

exploring that multi-dimensionality that

makes you you all of the

little parts that form the being that

you are

because believe me you’re full of

incredible ideas you’re full of

potential

and this potential and these ideas and

um this motivation doesn’t have to only

come from one part of yourself that is

deemed as

perfect or as that is deemed as oh my

god

this is what will make you successful

but it can come from

all of the other parts of yourself that

maybe are imperfect

and that’s truly fine

don’t be afraid to explore it

so the bottom line is that as i’m about

to graduate high school

and i’m entering a new life phase of my

life

i can tell you that i’m i’m nervous and

there are times where i want to have

everything under control and where

i want to translate my perfect student

identity to

the maria that i’m going to be in

college but

once i step take a step back and

truly see that there are things out of

my control that

toxic productivity is not the way to

achieve success

and that i’m a multi-dimensional being

with so many passions

and eagerness to explore the world

then i can see that maybe the cause that

surround me right now as i’m graduating

high school

it’s okay and maybe i should embrace it

because it’s full of opportunities and

it’s full of

doors i can explore in which i can

truly be myself so

be more empathetic with yourself listen

to your needs and prioritize your mental

and physical health over whatever crazy

definition of success has been sold to

you

because in the end even if you achieve

that promotion even if you get into

that i believe even if you become the

perfect mother or the perfect

perfect teacher or even though everyone

might think that you’re perfect

um if you’re not truly happy is it worth

it

if you’re a neglected part of yourself

is it truly worth it is that

this success you want so

redefine your definition of success

make it personal make it something that

truly embodies the

different parts of yourself not just

that perfect identity you’re trying to

reach

and above all don’t be afraid to be

imperfect

express your multi-dimensionality

because i’m sure that it’s full of

potential

and ideas that aren’t worth spreading

thank you

you