Spend Your Limited Time on Things that Matters the Most

about a year ago

i was supposed to give this ted talk i

had a whole speech planned

to talk about the importance of stepping

outside of our comfort zones

i was going to share some stories of

tumultuous times in my hockey career

leading up to being recruited to play

here at batman

and then i was going to encourage the

audience that they too could seek out

discomfort

and grow but then

we had a global pandemic and everyone

was forced into one of the weirdest most

uncomfortable worlds

ever let’s just take a moment to

stop and realize what’s actually going

think about it we’re sitting at home in

our house we’re not just sitting

anywhere in our house

no we’ve strategically placed ourselves

in the best outlet and window location

for

optimal lighting and charging purposes

how does this become normal

but the point of the matter is that

speech the one that i was supposed to

give a year ago

well everyone’s already done it

everyone’s been uncomfortable

so what am i going to talk about now you

were to ponder the idea

of a 25-hour day a year ago chances are

you’d be

pretty excited about how you could spend

the extra time you would think of

ways to be more productive at work or

school

fun things to do with your friends

family

and that much needed couch time in front

of the tv

i don’t know about you guys but now the

thought of 25 hours in a day

sends me into a state of catastrophic

shock

with the experience of a worldwide

pandemic under our belt

things have definitely changed for most

of us

we found ourselves swimming in time

working or studying from home

and then almost immediately drowning in

time

but why i thought we wanted more time to

try out that new rachael ray recipe we

saw in the news

or finally start that blog we’ve been we

needed to post or to spend more time at

home with family

perhaps our problem isn’t that we need

more time

maybe it’s that we need to change how

we’re spending our time

perhaps we don’t actually need 25 hours

perhaps

24 hours is enough

it’s in our nature to believe that 25

hours in the day would be better than 24

hours

the achiever in all of us sees this and

thinks about how far we can get ahead

how much more productivity would

increase how much more we could achieve

but let’s take one huge step further

because this is a ted talk after all and

understand that this isn’t just about

time

this is about how we see the world

more time means more choice to do what

we want

more choice means more opportunities to

get more

getting more means having more

having more is better than having less

right get more productive

get more friends get more studying done

to get a better gpa get more memories to

get a better life it doesn’t matter what

it is

we just seem to not quite have enough of

now this natural response to never being

satisfied with our lives

has historically benefited us greatly

hundreds of years ago when we used to

make fire by rubbing two sticks together

somewhere somebody said you know what i

don’t think i’m gonna settle for this

whole rubbing sticks together for

heating thing

and bam we got fire pulses

okay maybe it wasn’t quite as easy as

that but you get the point right

this unsatisfied nature is what allowed

us to evolve as humans

but now in 2021

we’re pretty evolved we have everything

we need to survive

plus all the luxuries on top

so why is it that while we’re sitting on

our lazy boy couch

watching a multi-million dollar movie

production on our high def

plasma screens talking to our friend

from a different country through a

device that fits in our pocket

that we aren’t just constantly elated

with

joy all of the time

perhaps it’s because that same

unsatisfied

evolutionary engine is still churning

in the back of our heads except now

we’ve run out of things to buy

inventions to conceive

and tangible things to get 24 hours

is enough

now the problems of unsettledness don’t

lie in the material world

but rather in the immaterial world

it’s in the intangibles that we all

grasp onto

and feel we need to live well

it’s those thoughts of i need to be more

liked

i need to be more popular i need to be

more fun

i need to be more healthy

and the most prominent one i need to

have

more happiness

this is where we get into trouble

because wanting material things like a

new house or a car

is external and can’t hurt us that much

if we don’t get

wanting something internally however

actually messes with our psychology

24 hours is enough

let’s take the example of wanting a new

car let’s say i really want to get a

lamborghini but when i show up at the

dealership and talk prices

my negotiation skills inevitably fall

short

and i end up not being able to buy them

chances are

i’ll feel like i failed and i’ll be

upset for a few days but

i don’t realize it’s really not a big

deal i’ll drive to the mall one day

take a look around i noticed that not

too many other people are driving

lamborghini’s either

hey i’ll realize that they’re not that

great in the snow anyways because i am

canadian

but what happens when we tell ourselves

we want to be happier

healthier more likeable

well we’ll work towards building more

productive schedules so we can feel good

about our days and

we’ll make more plans with friends so we

can feel confident that we’re liked

and this works most of the time

i don’t know about you guys but i find

it almost impossible to

always feel my best and looking around

us for other people that

maybe aren’t having their most positive

emotions either

like noticing how not a lot of other

people are driving lamborghinis

is actually really hard to do because we

live in a society where negative

emotions

aren’t something people explicitly show

all that often

the kicker is when we’re not feeling our

best

maybe a little sad maybe a little lonely

we instinctually reach for the one thing

that could make it worse

our phone and on that phone we use our

social media platforms it’s a last

chance effort to feel better

feel connected to something

but on it instead we see that jess and

keith

that cute couple everyone loved in high

school just got engaged

but they didn’t just get engaged

anywhere but on top of a mountain

and jess’s hair looks perfect and emma

just ate at that five-star restaurant

owned by the guy that drizzles salt like

this

and her hair looks perfect and eli

joanne and brent

just landed in maui and their hair looks

perfect why does everyone’s hair look

perfect on social media

the point is when we’re feeling our

weakest emotionally

we instantly compare ourselves to the

emotional highlights

of others lives

and we’re happy for these people but

let’s be honest it’s the kind of happy

for you you see between the bride and

the distant relatives at a wedding

everyone knows they just came for the

cake what’s really happening is

we’re comparing ourselves to these

people

and next thing you know we’re feeling

less of ourselves

and reminding ourselves that we need

the 24 hours is now

alan watts a modern philosopher once

coined the phrase

the backward law the backward law

states that the more you pursue

something you don’t already have

the less satisfied you become as

pursuing that thing only reinforces the

fact

that you lack it in the first place

so now you’re probably thinking okay so

what you’re saying

is i really shouldn’t pursue anything in

life i should just be happy with making

progress or development obviously

this isn’t true there’s gonna be some

things that we want and need to pursue

in life

in order to grow up and be

self-sufficient

but we need to be remarkably aware of

the dangers of seeking to feel

certain emotions this is what’s

dangerous about the moore’s better

mindset

so let’s carefully monitor what we need

more of in life

and what we need to appreciate more

that’s already in our life

because after all what if we actually

don’t need more time

we just need to spend the time that we

already have on stuff that actually

matters to us

what if we don’t need more things we

just need the right things

why not practice the ability to enjoy

just as much as the ability to achieve

why not place enthusiasm on where we are

now just as much as where we want to be

so when this tedx event ends we all

close our laptops

i want you to ask yourself what you can

do today so tomorrow

you’re not looking for that extra hour

24 hours