If Only A Bullying Survivor Can Tell

[Music]

what is pain

what is blaming yourself

what is long-lasting feeling like death

in combat

with glorious my name is etia

i read this letter for supporting myself

to stand up as bullying survivor

hey there i would like to say thank you

for giving me this kind of undefined

pain

from the day you yield to the word i am

that stupid girl i’m not so

good kid to be at school

since i’m the doctor of an alcoholic

and to the day when you strongly remind

me

i’m not in the same level with a group

of

happy kids as it should be

hi there i would like to say thank you

for making me still remember when i

thought

that good family is the rich one

and we the poor could only be dreamed

to be treated as nice as the word

served hey you i would like

to say thank you forgive me

this undescribable feeling of

questioning

why me why superior

and inferior axis

why this pain stays forever

wise men say time heals

but for me fully recovered is just like

a fairy tale

but hey isn’t it magical stories

from vinnie two to the famous five

that give me a strength

and make me believe that i’m okay

even i’m not as time goes by

and as long as the sun rising

and the moon calling at night i believe

that

life is always offered me a strength

a strength not to fight back

but to stay right in the past

later i know the fact is let me

to the day i know i deserve

and you know one of the day is today

when i successfully manage myself

to believe that i can

couch the hope for some people

being good is just something like that

but for me it happened one day

it repeats every day and end up

unknown but if you see deeper

for those who suffer this pain

being bullied it’s just like you sink in

the dark

so dark and unbreathable

seconds when i got bullied

i thought all the eyes seeing me

as the ugly girl and you know

ugly girl doesn’t fight back

i just stay there do nothing

freezing when life turns up

and i grew up i have already set

the situation of life and i thought

there is no space left for people

to bully me but then

does it happen no i get bullied again

well this is actually bullying in

different way

but for me the pain is remain the same

and sometimes it always make me

immediately powerless what i learned

from this brilliant journey

is just to be conscious not only by

accepting the situation but

let our inner self to lift

the way check your strength

realize what your weaknesses

respond to them and just

moving on we all know

that moving on is not a magic

for me i could just

try to do something that

i think i can achieve

something that i prep well it is

not always something formal

that we could also do something

in daily life you know it’s like

sharing your thoughts with others and

try to be a good listener for me

that is the important step to try

to accept myself it is also good

to give a time a time

well maybe this is just a bit confusing

but what i want to say is

sometime in life we just need to let

something

happen passionately and reach

its best time and not forget

to always have your mantra

for me my life mantra is just too

just always be nice and

give yourself your life a little try

the other important is i feel so

gratitude to have a support from my

husband

maybe for you you could also have

support

from those you considered as family

sharing the story of our bully journey

with them could give us a different

perspective

and it could also

give us a support like never before

a power like never before

you know that when i’ve got a support

from my family

it feels like something keep me

floating what i want to say to

all my fellow who get bullied

please just let your painful wounds

see the air not all the things

could be healed in a short time i

believe

but all the time is just to make

our lives and life it as we deserve

good luck