MAN UP How Stereotypes Become Dangerous.

okay it doesn’t work

okay hi

hello um let’s start this off with a

little icebreaker okay

so i’m gonna tell you guys a story about

me so i went to my grandparents place

a few days ago for a family reunion i’m

sure we’ve all been to big family events

before

wedding just eating whatever reason

right

and usually in family reunions we divide

the tables up

into three sections the men the woman

and the children

this is because all of the men are

expected to be having alcohol

while the woman and children are not

expected to

it’s like the popular saying we have

that involves a flag

think to yourself for a second see if

you know it

this is the saying

which translates to a man without

alcohol

is like a flag without wind it’s a very

simple concept please allow me to

demonstrate i have a flag here with me

please imagine this is a man right

without alcohol

so sad pathetic he’s so sad look

oh but with alcohol wow look at him

so confident flowing in the air no

alcohol

with alcohol very simple concept

it’s a very harmless assumption to be

assuming that all men will be drinking

but it really got me thinking about the

culture and stereotypes we have made up

for men

you see gender discrimination is a

problem everywhere

when the term gender inequality is

mentioned we would usually think of

a woman however most of us are

forgetting that men

also have stereotypes and expectations

that they have to live up to

now i’m not saying that we should be

victimizing all men and forgetting all

about the problems that women face

not at all being born a man already

comes with mountains of privilege

take for example the gender pay gap here

we have a graph

of the different gender pay gaps in

different nations in the world

leading with korea as a 32.5

difference this is an enormous

difference

considering we live in a world where we

aim for equality

now this amongst other reasons will also

influence people’s preferences of sons

over daughters

because they are genuinely convinced

that having a son

means that that son can better provide

for their family

or better provide for the family than a

daughter can in that saying

this leads to things such as sex

selective abortion

a higher crime rate a higher rate of

woman trafficking

or even prostitution in areas with a

higher meal ratio

which can be clearly demonstrated

through china’s one child policy

sorry i feel a sneeze coming

now you see because men have these

expectations that they have to live

up to they are taught very negatively

about negatively about themselves from a

very young age

and this is where the toxic part comes

in you see after centuries of being

forced to fulfill these stereotypes

the character we built up for man has

slowly morphed into

what we now know as toxic masculinity

toxic masculinity is a tricky phrase and

if misunderstood can be wildly

controversial

the meaning of toxic masculinity has

evolved over time

however a short definition for it

according to cambridge

stillworks according to cambridge

dictionary are the ideas

of how a man should behave that is seen

as harmful

the notion of toxic masculinity has been

around since forever

and is still present in our daily lives

for example think for yourself for a

second

you see a man crying oh no why is he

crying

maybe his girlfriend broke up with him

maybe he lost his job

what would you initially say to this

crying man

right hey stop crying why are you crying

why are you such a girl

why are you being a baby can you just

man up for a second

man up the phrase in itself

a man is supposed to be strong tough

masculine they are the breadwinner of

the family

they are the stereotypical boy who grew

up playing with toy cars

and wants to be a superhero a little boy

who likes

playing with dolls will automatically be

assumed to have a problem

and if that same little boy grows up to

like the color pink

or loves doing makeup or just needs to

cry sometimes

he will then be deemed and mocked as gay

we’ve made feeling sadness and

vulnerability into a feminine thing

which is ridiculous quite frankly

because all humans think and feel

as boys grow older they begin to feel

the need to stop expressing themselves

this is usually around the age of 14 or

and it’s not just statistical data that

shows this because you see those are

boys around my age

and i personally see this happen every

day those are my classmates

my friends and people who i care for

very deeply and it’s upsetting to see

them

begin to stop expressing themselves and

potentially exposing themselves

to the danger of toxic masculinity toxic

masculinity is an incredibly dangerous

concept

and brings not only negative effects to

the ones who practice it

but to many other and it is no

coincidence that around the age where

boys begin to feel the need to remove

feelings from their narrative

the suicide rate in boys increase by

five times compared to girls

according to the national institute on

drug abuse

men who are pressured into practicing

toxic masculinity

are more likely to participate in

extreme sports

engage in the use of cigarettes drugs

and alcohol

not only does toxic masculinity leave

profound consequences

on one’s physical health it also leaves

them with the constant feeling of

isolation

the need to maintain a hostile attitude

or the constant need to rebel

this makes them more likely to not

show their emotional vulnerability or

not show sympathy and empathy for others

or to even seek help when they are aware

that they need it

because doing these things make them

seem weak hence they are more likely to

endure it by themselves and end up

suffering alone

even the world health organization

itself has confirmed

that men who practice toxic masculinity

are more likely to die early

or commit suicide

vietnam you see is still a very male

dominant society

which makes issues like this become

overlooked many vietnamese women

who suffer from spousal abuse tend to

remain silent

to earn the respect from their family

members or community

because they genuinely believe that this

is the way to show the man’s dominance

in the relationship

or that they just don’t have the rights

to speak up for themselves anyway

so why try right women are recorded

saying that they are proud of being

beaten

yeah proud of getting hit because that

is their way of keeping the family

together

and it’s it’s very upsetting yes indeed

men are portrayed as hyper masculine

which means that they are more likely to

express this through aggression then the

female

willingly accepts because she too was

taught to believe the same thing

and this eventually leads to an abusive

relationship

now that we’ve established the uglier

side of masculinity

i’m sure you’re wondering if there’s a

solution to this well the first

and foremost thing we need to do before

any major course of actions

is taken is to establish a newer and

healthier definition

for masculinity i’m glad to inform you

that we’ve been making some progress on

this issue

globally in the past few years you see

sociologists are beginning to see the

emergence of a newer

healthier definition of masculinity

promoted by celebrities such as

david beckham frank ocean or even barack

obama himself

these role models encourage men to seek

a healthier definition for masculinity

a more feminized version of masculinity

to

be more open about their emotional

vulnerability to show sympathy and

empathy for others

so on and so forth we’re also beginning

to see

similar role models like this emerge in

vietnam for

most notably our multi-talented artists

chen tang

many have shared that they feel empathy

towards this artist because he is

creating a new definition for

masculinity

nationwide though he is still very

wildly criticized for being

fake or not masculine enough

you see similar to many celebrities

is currently hosting his own tv show

where he tends to get very emotional

when the contestants are sharing their

backstories

the backstories are indeed very

heartwarming but instead of

acknowledging this

people just look at the sobbing man on

screen laugh at him

and then make him into some sort of meme

you see

we live in a world where it’s so rare to

see a man cry

that when we actually witness one we’re

so shocked we just

make it into a joke a man can’t even cry

in this world

without becoming some sort of joke to

people it just proves how insignificant

and not important this issue is to many

and the sooner we recognize how serious

this issue is

the faster we can put an end to toxic

masculinity thank you