How finding your voice creates change.

when i walked into this room

some of you saw me as a model some of

you saw me as an entrepreneur

maybe someone that you follow on social

media and some of you have no clue who i

am and that’s cool too because you’re

going to find out

but to me when i walk into a room

i’m all of those things but i’m first

and foremost

a black woman now i had to start today

like this because

i felt like i could speak to you about

creativity within crisis

social media the modeling industry or

anything really about my experiences

being shaped to an extent

by the colour of my skin

now i was thrust into this crazy

industry when i was 14 years old

when i was scattered coming home from

school i was an academic school girl

whose main concerns were

getting good grades and being on the

netball team

and i guess you could say that i was

super naive

although i was aware of race i wasn’t

truly exposed

to the ignorance of racism until i

entered into the modelling industry

at this age i was very into fashion i

actually wanted to be a fashion

journalist

but i guess you could say i never

noticed the lack of representation

within the fashion industry because

it was never questioned before it was

normal for me to walk into a store

and look at all the campaign imagery and

see nobody who looked like me

or go to a makeup counter and not see

any brown faces of beauty

but i guess that kind of made sense

because back then there wasn’t even any

foundations in my shades so

and also remember i was only 14

so the only magazine that i was

collecting was the argos catalogue to

circle my christmas presents

so you can imagine that when i entered

into this industry i thought it was

going to be some sort of like

america’s next top model diverse fantasy

land like

i didn’t think that my race was going to

play such a big part of my experiences

within the industry

but one thing that i do remember though

was the first time

that i saw our lenno’s lancome campaign

it was very poignant to me because i’d

just been signed maybe a few months or

so

and i was coming home from some of my

first castings and i looked up on the

side of a building in old street and i

saw her face

it was huge a huge billboard

the first time that i’d ever seen a

black model’s face alone

so big in london before it was a warm

feeling

i felt seen and represented and i could

achieve big things in this crazy

industry that i just stumbled into

but as i became more acquainted with my

surroundings

it became very weird to me for an

industry that felt almost purposely void

of black people that it was white people

who made me feel so hyper aware that i

wasn’t

like them that my experiences were going

to differ greatly to that of a white

models

and i learned at a very young age that i

was going to be put in scenarios where

i’d be treated differently

simply because i was black now let me

just

paint a little picture for you i was

given the amazing advice

by an agent to never go into a casting

after another black girl

just in case the casting director got us

confused and it made it even harder to

get that one spot out of 50 that was

reserved for a black model

but this same casting director didn’t

seem to have a problem differentiating

between the

10 to 15 blond-haired blue-eyed white

girls who are gonna walk the same show

but it’s me and my bald-headed friend

grace bowl who couldn’t be seen next to

each other

all right that’s me and my friends going

into the castle by the way like what

wait what

i was basically told to lower my

expectations

of what i could achieve within the

industry simply because i was black

and that anybody who was even close to

my complexion

should be considered my competition but

i knew that white models didn’t have to

feel that way

maybe because they had the same hair

color as another girl or eye color or

maybe because they actually

looked like somebody else but never

because of their race

but these were some of the things that

every single black model experienced

in one way shape or form when entering

into the industry

and we accepted it because we didn’t

know any better

we were young we were impressionable and

we were actually made to feel that we

should even be

grateful to be part of such an amazing

industry

it was normalized and we often felt like

we didn’t have

a voice or a safe space to communicate

because whenever you as a black model

did decide to speak up you were given

the fierce diva or the

angry black girl tag there was even a

time when i was verbally attacked by a

male hairdresser for simply stating that

putting a water-based product in my hair

would make it frizz and the look was

meant to be straight and shiny

and when i tried to voice these concerns

to my agents

of course they were appalled but the

general consensus was

sorry babe you know that’s just like the

way of the world like i’m sorry that’s

happening to you but can you just like

be professional and uh take it on the

chin

is my name floyd mayweather to be taking

verbal abuse from a white man on the

chin

is this a boxing ring or is this

backstage at a fashion show

let me know

i was genuinely at a loss as to where i

stood because

remember i’m a teenage girl so i already

had the usual

teenage issues of insecurities

bullying you know not knowing yourself

and then all of a sudden i was a model

and everybody was telling me that you

know you have pretty privilege right

and that i’m technically at an advantage

in the world

but then facts are in being black and

all of a sudden it was like

you’re pretty for a black girl and also

don’t be seen in the same room as

another black girl because you kind of

look the same

and your hair really difficult to work

with and your skin

won’t even make products for that and

generally speaking you’re going to be

paid less work less and treated less

than

simply because you were black it was a

confusing and exhausting time to be a

black girl within the industry

and these experiences extended online

too

as a young girl i would go online and i

would see endless

banter at the expense of black women

there would be jokes about being able to

physically abuse us with more ease due

to our skin tone

some of your now favorite celebrities

back in the day

jumped on the black girl as banter

bandwagon as well because it was simply

an easy way to get the whole timeline

laughing

with minimal retaliation and whenever

you as a black girl did try and defend

yourself online

everyone would say that it was just a

joke or that it was just a phase that

that person was going through

these were just some of the experiences

of black girls and

these existed online and offline for us

before this happened actually

i did feel kind of alone and i did feel

like

the only thing that i could do was put

my head down

and push through and hope that one day i

would be successful enough to not be

treated this way

and it’s crazy to think that at such a

young age i equated being successful

with the only way that i could be

treated with basic human respect

but but

there was only so much that these

situations and people could do

to try and crush my spirit and

determination after i finished school

i began working more and traveling and

meeting more and more black girls and we

back we began speaking and

sharing our stories and perspectives and

i realized that

i wasn’t as alone as i thought i met

people like

zuri tibby adesawa

grace bowl and jordan dunn and i began

to feel

hopeful i began to feel less alone and

that change was afoot

but i just didn’t know how to become a

part of it other than merely just

existing within the industry

and i guess we all kind of felt that

same way because we were still so young

and we were still in the process of

learning how truly powerful we as black

women were

but after years of upsetting situations

i realized that

my silence hadn’t gotten me a damn thing

those same hairdressers still had their

jobs those same racist fashion brands

were showing

every fashion week i was still going to

the toilets crying

every season and i was still meeting new

black girls who were echoing the exact

same experiences that i had had

and feeling like they had no voice and

that’s when i realized that my silence

made me complicit

in the mistreatment of the next

generation of black models

and that alone made me want to speak up

i stopped trying to toe the line because

i realized that my silence hadn’t gotten

me and my friends

anything social media played a huge part

in giving black women a platform to

share their stories and perspectives

and i guess i was subconsciously

inspired and thought why not me

one day i was backstage at a show during

new york fashion week

they asked who was available to do my

makeup and a hair a makeup artist put up

their hand

i sat in her chair and i realized that

she didn’t have any foundations that

were

in my skin tone at all she had 30

foundations for

white models and there was one brown

foundation which she was trying to make

work for me

instead of getting angry at that

situation though i use it as an

opportunity to kind of educate her and i

always carried my own makeup kit with me

this was an experience that i documented

online and i just kept it real about the

experiences of black models within the

industry

and it went viral i was so surprised and

shocked

not just because people were sharing

what i was saying but because they were

listening

and supporting me i was able to write

articles

and do interviews speaking about

diversity the lack of representation

within the fashion industry

and the experiences of black models

it was just such a crazy time for me i

realized that

finally after years within the industry

i had finally found my voice

and this was a feeling that i wanted to

extend to others

not just women within my industry a few

years later

i founded lap the brand which stands for

leo me anderson

the project the purpose the brand which

is both

an online clothing brand and

a platform and with the online platform

women can write about anything

be it sex mental health relationships

politics race whatever as long as you’re

a self-identifying woman

i guess you could say that if i hadn’t

gone on on that journey within the

modeling industry

and gone through those hardships and

found my voice

i wouldn’t have been even half as

inspired to start my own platform

because

i wouldn’t have seen the true power of

sharing your stories and having a voice

first

hand and this is something that i want

to encourage

everybody in this room to do today i

want all of you guys to think about ways

that you can help those

who go unseen or unheard be seen by

everybody

you don’t have to be a model with a big

social media following

or years of hardship anybody who’s in a

position of privilege

can help those who go unseen and looking

around this room

i’m seeing hell of privilege because

i wish that more people had stopped

acting legally blind to the experiences

of black models within the industry

and spoken up when they saw what was

happening to me and others like me

i wish that somebody had spoken up and

seen what i was going through

and gave me the confidence to speak up

on it as well

everybody’s story has the ability to

ignite

change but it can never be heard if it

is never told

what will you decide to do today and

thank you for coming to my ted talk

thank you

thank you

you