Makeup or Warpaint You Decide

uh

makeup tattoos body piercings

plastic surgery lip fillers cheek

enhancements

permanent makeup hair extensions

changing your eye color

that’s the beauty industry a half a

trillion dollar industry

funded by our insecurities and desires

to be what i call

super women i am a warrior

the kind that likes to wear war paint

what many of us call

makeup there’s a why to all that we

overcome

there’s a why to all that we do today

i’m going to uncover

the why behind the beauty among those

beauty trends one making a comeback

is permanent makeup yes i am talking

about

tattooing your makeup onto your face

like i mentioned war paint so why do so

many people have this desire to wear

permanent makeup

to wear permanent war paint makeup and

beauty practices have been around for

centuries

in tribal rituals warrior dances and

to signify the rite of passage

i like to reframe how we view beauty to

recognize and discover

our natural beauty to uncover the reason

for the mask

i’m not asking you to take off your war

paint

i definitely love mine i’m asking you to

be clear on why you wear it

i wear my war paint because i like to

accentuate my natural beauty

and of course i love to have my war gear

on

why because you never know what battle

today holds

many of us were taught that beauty is

pain i was

my grandmother was always put together

she wore structured clothes

heels brows plucked she even drank aloe

juice daily for glowing skin

she taught me that this is what we do as

women

her lessons were rough she never

accepted how i looked

she would always put me down telling me

i wasn’t enough of this or that

her war paint was important to her

after her stroke the first thing she

asked for

was her lipstick and brow pencil you see

we as women endure becoming a model was

something i always dreamed about

while learning the importance of beauty

i was also taught the importance of

education

discipline and compassion my dad taught

me compassion

we would rescue and nurse animals back

to health in our neighborhood

a bird with a broken wing squirrels

whose mothers were nowhere in sight

i loved it there is an ongoing

stereotype that models are

one-dimensional

i encourage you to remember that you

don’t know what someone else’s story is

you don’t know what battle someone has

fought

until they share it with you

or until you see the scars and are brave

enough to ask

i went to a military boarding school

where besides

education i was taught the importance of

discipline and how to endure

once again i was taught skills that

would serve me well

time and time again while in military

school

and modeling part-time i met my husband

at 15.

he was 18 years my senior he would visit

me at boarding school

and make me feel like a princess

it was amazing i felt special and unique

with him

as my boyfriend keep in mind my

older brother introduced us so there was

a level of trust with my parents being

supportive of this relationship

i loved our life and being beautiful for

him

was important to me he always wanted me

to be beautiful and put together

he would pluck each brow until he deemed

them perfect

he would get hair and makeup in before

we went out he would pick

each piece of clothing

we married as soon as i turned 18. i had

our daughter a year later

coming from the modeling industry i

became reliant on my war paint as part

of my job

on and off stage and it was a daily

ritual

but what i didn’t know was that my

warrior was going to be activated

i needed my war paint because i

had to go to war

when i was eight months pregnant my

older brother

was murdered in a robbery gone wrong at

the funeral

my husband whispered into my ear

i promised your brother i treat you like

a queen

but now that he’s gone that promise is

also gone

i didn’t know what to expect except to

think he was grieving the loss of his

best friend

this must be his way of grieving with it

i dismissed it i was going to keep our

family together

i am the female macgyver i can change

the oil in your car

crochet you a scarf for winter a hot

bikini for summer

all while in full glam hair and makeup

of course as

a three-course meal pops out of the oven

organic at that

my resourcefulness was going to be

tested beyond

measure

things began to unravel rapidly with my

husband

he began to control everything about me

i became the doll he played with he

prevented me from going to college

then the verbal and mental abuse

began we moved to different cities and

countries

every few weeks for his work it was

common for my friends and family not to

hear from me for weeks at a time

i had enough when i decided to leave him

i thought it would be over i thought i

would be free

at 20 and being a new mom it was a very

complicated decision

he promised me the moon i went back

that is when i was introduced to the sad

and awful truth

that monsters are real upon arriving

in his arms that monster showed up full

force the man i thought was my prince

charming

kidnapped me took my baby beat me and

raped me repeatedly for six

months

the man i trusted took everything from

me

but what he didn’t know was that i had

been taught to endure

beauty rituals strict discipline at

military school

not having a lot of food i mean

i was a model before i tell you more i

would like you all to consider

what battles we’re fighting you don’t

know

someone’s truth until they share it

i am also here to redefine superwoman in

all her war paints

figuratively and literally

a superwoman is supportive of other

women

we teach our sons how to behave and

respect women

we have more than one passion and career

we leave a legacy of beauty and love

we have a story and until we share it

you don’t know our truth

what i do know for certain is that super

women

are heroes powerful

beautiful but most importantly

we are warriors while being held captive

i wanted to give up on the world and

myself i didn’t see a point of living

one day when i was in the middle of

being raped i thought

i must have done something so wrong in

life that i must be paying for it

should i been helping and feeding

pigeons on the street instead of being

scared of them

he raped me over and over again to own

me in this way

to get me pregnant he made sure to

starve me

and any woman knows you can’t get

pregnant at a three percent body fat

but i needed a sign weeks into this

torture

i would talk to god if this is my

punishment for something i did and don’t

remember in a past life

and this is my punishment if this is

what you want from me

let me get pregnant weeks into this

torture

i became more submissive then

i got the sign i wasn’t pregnant

at first i thought i was relieved i

wasn’t a bad person

but now that i’m not a bad person why is

this happening to me

being that i’m the female macgyver i’ve

fought

to find a solution what do i need to see

what do i need to know

i quickly realized

the monster wanted full control over me

and my body

he wanted me to be a submissive woman

and this

is when the real battle began naked

and without any war paint i was going to

win

i showed him he won

i put on a show i made him believe that

he was like my loving husband

i got him to trust me and we would go

out in public

i was putting on a show for him i was

only i was like posing for the camera

only allowing him what he wanted to see

of me

this silent battle went on and my

warrior

was relentless

i finally convinced them to to go back

to the states

so we can get proper treatment for

fertility i was still being held

captive i didn’t have access to a

computer

money or passport and he would monitor

the few phone calls i received from my

parents

i knew once i returned back i would be

able to plan my escape

i would be able to get on the internet

figure out a way to get home safe

without him catching us

and that’s what i did

i found his lab i found a laptop

one day while he was going out for a

smoothie one of the strategies i used to

get him out

i would watch him leave and start the

clock

i opened the computer it worked

i emailed my mom and i told her

not to message me it was life and death

that i wasn’t okay but i needed her to

pick me up

wednesday 10 pm sharp i mentally

prepared for the escape

wednesday came two men approached

i thought oh no i’m dead

time stopped but when i opened the door

it was my dad and his friend my dad

stood there

in total disbelief literally

didn’t believe this was life and death

his friends looked into my eyes and saw

my truth

he saw that i had been in battle he saw

my warrior

he quickly took action grabbed the

diapers the formula

we got out i was free

my daughter and i escaped and i’m here

today sharing this story so that we can

prevent others from having to go to war

i am raising my beautiful daughter and

teaching her how to be a superwoman

i am still an advocate for animals in

fact

a neighborhood possum is on the top of

my list

war paint comes in all colors shapes

sizes genders it can look like tattoos

lots of makeup piercings

fancy bags and cars shoes

it can look like a person having a

mid-life crisis you know

buying that red convertible

if we can recognize our war pain we

cannot only help ourselves but we can

help

others if we can recognize the pain

behind the beauty

if we can see our battle scars and war

paint then

we can have empathy compassion

love forgiveness and ultimately

world peace thank you