Paint it Forward Full Speed No Fear

hello

my name is hannah donner and i’m 22

years old

before i talk more about my 22 year old

self i would like to introduce you to 17

year old hannah

hannah was a senior in high school who

while very ambitious

had generally no idea of where she would

end up after her high school graduation

would she be attending a four-year

university going directly into the

workforce

exactly what would her identity be after

high school graduation

hannah really had no idea and the only

concrete thing that she knew about

herself

was that she loved to play volleyball

and with her volleyball team she spent

the summer working hard

to create a cohesive and happy season

aside from volleyball hannah enjoyed

advocating for others and sticking up

for them in their times of need

she used her voice to stand up for

herself and those in hardship

however on september 23 2016

hannah’s voice and drive was taken from

her when she fell asleep at the wheel

and her car struck a tree

the car hit at the center of the license

plate and her airbags did not deploy

this time was very scary for hannah and

her family

as you can imagine the injuries were

extensive she had many broken bones to

her face

and her leg and foot aside from the bone

breakages

she had lung damage and a brain bleed in

her tentorium

which causes mood change and memory loss

when hannah was removed from the car on

the night of the accident

she was given cpr for eight minutes

because her heart had stopped beating

after she was resuscitated she was

airlifted by helicopter to kehobnanian

children’s hospital’s trauma center

in neptune new jersey where she spent

the next upcoming weeks in a coma

while hannah was in the hospital the

support that she received from the

outside community was overwhelming

people that she didn’t know had come to

visit and share their condolences

and good wishes with the family and then

of course her friends and family did not

leave her side

however this positive notion at her side

when hannah woke up

from the coma she was just more lost

than she was before

aside from now trying to figure out who

she would be she had to understand what

had happened

would she recover would she ever fully

get back to who she was

there were so many unknown questions and

much uncertainty at this time

when hannah went home from the hospital

it was a very sad and hard time

as a senior in high school she couldn’t

drive or go to school

she couldn’t see her friends and she

couldn’t go to sporting events or play

with her team

it was very upsetting for her and her

family however

the support from the community was

uplifting and inspiring

for example her volleyball team raised

money for her and

helped her in buying a dog for her

family which that inspired hannah

is one of the main things in her

recovery another happy moment for hannah

during this time

was when she was asked to drop the

ceremonial first puck in the ice hockey

game for central regional high school

where she attended

the school honored her at the ice rink

and it was symbolic for hannah that she

decided in this moment that she would

take hold of

her recovery period and it was up to her

almost exactly two months after the car

accident hannah had a doctor’s

appointment at her neurologist

she went into this appointment with

hopes maybe she can resume

her everyday life maybe she could go

back to school

maybe she could start driving soon all

of the upcoming wishes hannah was hoping

that she could

clear out in the open with her doctor

that day

her doctor turned to her confidently at

the end of the appointment and said

i think you can go back to school in

january hannah

and she was very upset january it’s only

november

and she felt impatient and she spent the

rest of the time with the doctor

negotiating she wanted to go back the

next day she wanted to take hold of her

recovery

and she turned and she fought for it and

she didn’t go back to school in january

or in december but she went back to

school the very next day

and that was the first time that i

hannah felt like myself again

since that accident the next day when i

returned to school while i was very

excited i quickly became overwhelmed

and it was an eye-opener that things

would not be as easy as i expected in

this recovery time

for example things like the school bell

and the bright lights everything was

very frustrating for me i hadn’t been

living like that in the last few months

i had much support from my peers and

faculty running up to me asking how i

was doing

but it was quickly overwhelming for me

and i became very frustrated

it was an eye-opener it would take a lot

longer to recover than i expected

and then during this time it was just

focused on

recovering and my education for the

remainder of my senior year

at the time of my graduation however i

began to feel nostalgic or upset

how could i move on into college career

without completing this journey

i needed to do something to make myself

feel better what could i do at this time

to make my journey feel complete and i

decided after a long thought and

speaking with my family

that i needed to say thank you to the

hospital not only did they

save my life on a medical level they

gave me another opportunity to find out

who i

am to answer those questions that i had

as a 17 year old

they gave me that opportunity and they

may not even have noticed

but it was more than just saving my life

so

when i attended the college of new

jersey during my first year

i was at a meeting where the ceiling

tiles were painted in an elementary

school art room

with just happy messages and i said oh i

have to do that

that’s what i have to do i’m going to

transform the hospital

the physical building itself so i reach

out to the members of the k hamnetian

children’s hospital

child life specialist department and i

say can i come in for a meeting

and i go in and we’re discussing the

logistics and i’m very excited i think

they’re enjoying the idea

and they turn to me and they say okay

hannah we’ll give you 12 ceiling tiles

and then in that moment for me the words

12 and january became synonymous

no i didn’t want 12 i wanted more like

1200 i wanted to

make a difference and show these people

that you can be inspired in a bad

situation like this like i was

by my team and my family in my community

so luckily my negotiation skills kicked

in once again

and i argued long enough with the

hospital that they have given me

as many ceiling tiles as i’ve needed

hundreds at that moment

i returned home that day and began

planning the first event of paint it

forward

which is my initiative to fill the

hospital at k-hub nania children’s

hospital

with ceiling tiles with inspiring and

happy messages

for the patients and their family and

the hospital community itself

i just wanted to transform the hospital

into something that could be inspiring

and even distracting for the patients

that are in a horrible situation

and i quickly realized at my first event

which was held here at the college of

new jersey through the best buddies

program

that many of the participants had the

same goal as me to benefit one person’s

life at a time

originally i felt awkward asking people

to paint something

and then return it without getting

anything in return themselves

it was awkward for me to ask these

people for so much but i quickly found

out

that they wanted to help others they had

the exact same goal as me

which that was inspiring in itself now i

want to speak about

some of my specifically favorite ceiling

tiles these two tiles here

are painted by a couple who reached out

to me after the ceiling tile event

erupted at the college of new jersey

and they asked for two ceiling tiles and

the one on the left is a famous dr seuss

quote that reads

sometimes life is bumpy and blue filled

with gobs of goo gunk and sticky extoo

but you’ll find your way and you’ll pull

yourself through you’re stupendously

strong but mostly your you

and then the ceiling tile on the right

is a beautiful image of the galaxy that

was painted

as a distraction for children in

terrible or traumatic situations like

myself

i quickly found that these ceiling tiles

were not only for the patients

but they were also meaningful to be

painted for the people

all the participants themselves and this

next ceiling tile was painted by my

brother

who is the world’s biggest harry potter

fan the quote reads

it matters not what someone is born but

what they grow to be

and that i think is perfect for someone

in the situation

that i was in it doesn’t matter where

you are at that moment but it matters

how you pull yourself out

and how you grow after this and while

this ceiling tile was simply just

painted because my brother loves harry

potter

and he thought the children would like

it in the hospital it could be

an instrumental moment for someone

looking up at that tile and say

hey you’re right this doesn’t matter

where i am now i’m just going to move

forward

and i’m going to grow just as 17 year

old hannah did

and this next ceiling tile was painted

by me at the college of new jersey at

our first large event

it reads if it doesn’t challenge you it

won’t change you and while 17 year old

hannah may not have understood the

weight of these words

22 year old hannah does i didn’t

necessarily change through this process

but i grew into this new person that i

am today

and i’m proud of this person but i would

also identify as 17 year old hannah

when i described 17 year old hannah i

said she was ambitious

but had no real plan about who she would

be after graduation

and i could say the same exact thing for

myself now except that i know how

meaningful that it is to help others in

your own recovery

i also know that i had what it took to

get through what i was going through

and i find that it’s synonymous with

most people you have what it takes to

get through what you’re going through

and now i want to leave you with my very

favorite ceiling tile which was painted

by my roommate and good friend rachel

the tile simply reads you are strong

full speed

no fear rachel is on the tcnj field

hockey team and

during her season before each game her

dad always sends her something before

each game

to give her motivation and to get her in

the right mindset before she steps onto

the field

this phrase full speed no fear was

hanging up in our college dorm

for the entire freshman year and while

it may have been

a nice reminder of her dad or an

athletic motivator for

rachel for me it’s how i view myself and

it’s how i view my recovery

i went into that recovery at full speed

no fear when i started to take hold of

my life again

that first day at the neurologist

appointment and i think that is how

everyone should proceed into their lives

whatever their bad situation is whatever

their situation is overall

you should proceed into it at full speed

with absolutely no fear

and you already have the strength to do

so thank you

you