How to Transform the Way You See Yourself

[Music]

[Applause]

have you

ever said no i don’t want to have my

picture taken

not me i’m not photogenic

if you’re a woman chances are

these words have come out of your lips

probably more than once

as a portrait photographer there’s not a

week

no there’s not a day that goes by that i

don’t hear one of these things

and it’s simply not true

to be seen is one of the most powerful

things

as human beings

that we can experience and to not be

seen

is what happens to women in oppressed

countries

or to women who are oppressed themselves

we can create an experience where women

feel powerful and beautiful and sexy and

amazing

and gorgeous in a portrait session

and forget about all of those things

that we thought were true

now i understand there are times in our

lives seasons in our lives

when we can go through things where we

feel like we don’t want to be seen

i had a season like that a few years ago

i went through a brutal divorce my world

my

family it felt like i had been ripped

apart and i decided

to walk on the camino de santiago the

camino de santiago is an

ancient pilgrimage across northern spain

i went by myself but i met people along

the way

and we created experiences together that

were remarkable

one day after walking close to 15 miles

with 30 plus pounds on my back i found

myself

in an ancient church it looked like one

of the ones that i’d seen in my

high school world geography book

it was probably an ancient roman pagan

temple

and as i sat there on the bench that was

hard

and cold i was uncomfortable

i was tired i was hungry

but i sat there and i let the words wash

over me

and all of a sudden out of the corner of

the room

i heard the most beautiful voice

singing the sweetest song

amazing grace how sweet the sound

to save a wretch like me i once was lost

but now i’m found

tears started to pour down my cheeks

and i kept crying the song continued

was grace that made me see

i continued to listen and i continued to

sit

and the cry turned into the ugly cry and

i didn’t have any kleenex and my nose

was running and

all the things and when the service was

over i got up and of course i had my

backpack and my camera with me and i

took some pictures

because i wanted to remember this place

like i would ever forget it

and when i walked to the back of the

church

my new german friend tobias was waiting

at the back door and i said to him to

beast

thank you thank you for singing

he had his arms crossed over his chest

and he said

julie i wasn’t singing i knew that he

sang at home in his church choir

i said but you heard amazing grace you

heard the song

no nobody was singing

and soon the tears came again

because i knew it was time for me

to stop playing small i needed to be

seen

i wanted to be seen it was time for me

to elevate not only myself

but other women as well and that’s when

i came home

and i started to photograph people

portraits

and mostly women and i have some

stories of some of those women that i

would like to share with you today

this woman was raised in a culture she

explained to me

that if you were given a compliment

you said oh no no i’m not that or no

she’s not really whatever the compliment

was

she is an incredibly accomplished woman

she’s a professional classical pianist

she’s a martial artist a black belt

and a business owner and when she came

in for her portraits

she wanted to see the confidence in

herself

that she had forgotten this photograph

she told me is how i want to see myself

every day this is what i want to

remember

now she had been raised in a culture she

had no

bad feelings about the way that she was

raised she was proud of it

and now it’s time for her to shine

and to elevate herself and to live her

very best life

this woman came to me for some business

branding

she grew up on a farm but she wanted to

go full glam and she wanted to do a

little bit of a marilyn monroe vibe

so we even put the little dimple or the

mole

on there and she got the marilyn monroe

look that she wanted

and we did some kind of serious ones for

her business

and we also did some that were a little

more fun

and some glitter and some sparkles

and when we looked at the photographs

she started to cry and she said

julie is that me that’s that’s me

that’s really me yes it is

that’s really you she saw a sparkle that

she hadn’t seen in a while

when she came back to pick up her

portraits

she told me that the day that she’d had

her portrait session she had learned

that she was

diabetic and you know what i’ve done

since then julie

i’ve exercised every day i’ve changed

the way i’m eating

oh and by the way my business is growing

i’m out there in the world so much more

than i ever was

now this woman came to me for

an author photograph for her book

she’s a special education teacher she’s

a grandma

and she wanted to have some pictures for

this new book that’s being published

well when we talked before her session i

said you know if you want to try

something a little different if you want

to do some boudoir if you want to do

something a little bit fun

we can try that too she’s like okay well

we’ll see

and as we were getting ready and styling

her shoot

as i was looking through her bag and

asking her what she was going to wear

with what

i said oh did you want to try some

boudoir

she was a little bit shy and she said

yeah i do i think i’d like to do that

for my husband for his birthday

so we took some beautiful shots

and when she received her photographs

she looked through her folio collection

and when this one came up

she said julie i’m sure my husband has

seen me that way

but i have never seen myself like this

she was a little bit shy and a little

bit surprised

but she changed the way she sees herself

the last story that i’m going to share

with you

is the story of a woman that i

photographed while she was going through

breast cancer treatment

every year i photograph women as part of

a non-profit

in the community where i live to help

them see themselves to help them

elevate themselves and also to promote

the nonprofit

and when she came back to see her

photographs they were lined up in my

studio

and she told me several months later she

said i wasn’t feeling well that day

chemotherapy side effects she said but

when i walked

into the room and she choked back the

tears

three months later she said and i saw

these photographs of myself

looking strong and vibrant

and full of life and then she almost

whispered

and beautiful she said i knew that i was

gonna be okay

i knew that everything would be all

right

and she is we can change the way we

see ourselves we can change ourselves

we can change our family we can change

our community

with the simple act of saying

yes i want to be seen

yes i am that

and so how do you do that because i have

talked with people women

especially who have had bad

experiences

almost 90 percent of the information

that comes into our brain

every day is visual almost 90 percent

think of how powerful it would be if you

had a portrait of yourself looking

glamorous

powerful elevated enlightened inspired

creative the list is endless

and the key is to find someone find a

photographer to work with

who will hold that space for you who

will help you

create something where you can

feel and be and step

into the light that you are meant to

share with the world

because all of us have something that is

meant to be shared with the world

it’s why we’re here

no more playing small

no more saying oh no not me

it’s time for us as women

to create our legacy

to move forward into the future

to be seen as we

are right here right now

today thank you

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