Women Aging and Visibility

[Music]

uh

queen elizabeth 94 boom

jane fonda and lily tomlin 82 and 81

boom boom sisley tyson 95

boom and i am 65

boom a few years ago i was in costa rica

with my surfboard

and looking down at my leg standing

strong in the powerful force of nature

i had a moment of grace i thought i love

these legs that have supported me

all these years i look back at the beach

and i saw a gorgeous young woman walk by

and i thought may you be so blessed

to live this long be this strong and

healthy

and live a life you love but not one

drop of envy

instead of wishing i was her i felt

grounded in my body

and grateful has served me well and i

was clear i would not give up

one single experience for that moment

but best of all i felt sexy and hot

and it came from the inside out

in 2002 at 2008 i made the world

a promise that all women would be

leaders in their lives in the world by

i just turned 50 three years earlier

with single

fully self-supporting and a great career

and i had just thrown myself a birthday

party that would rival

any wedding the year before i’d gone to

a spa

with a sports therapy program and i went

to see a therapist

about my depression at turning 50 he

said let me get this straight you’re an

athlete

i just done my first walking marathon

for avon

to raise money for breast cancer in

honor of my mother who died at 34.

you’re healthy you look amazing what’s

in a number

for me the fear was about getting older

and being invisible as women age we

become invisible

it usually starts around 40 sometimes

earlier

and it continues as we age even though

40s when we step into our maturity and

power

at 43 i was trying to get pregnant and i

could not

i discovered i was going through early

menopause

oh i was catatonic for days

i felt like i just started to live my

life and it was over

visions of being a crone single nobody

wanting to date me or have sex

i was going to spend the rest of my days

driving around with just me and my dog

like my widowed aunts

or only centenarian men would be

interested in me

i tried to talk to other women about

menopause and i found it’s not something

that women like to talk about

if i had a mother i could have asked her

so instead i reached out to two of my

aunts

i was frustrated by the lack of

information

and then i found the book by dr

christian northrup called women’s bodies

women’s wisdom first published in 1994.

contrary to popular myth women get

better as we age

think life is over at menopause guess

again

think sex is done wrong again

our bodies are designed to birth and

nurse children

whether we ever become mothers or not

and when we’re done with that phase of

life

we actually become free of our bodies

no longer driven by the ebb and flow of

hormones

we experience a rebirth

where a lifetime of experiences and a

newfound sense of self

can motivate us to create significant

changes in our lives and explore new

frontiers

a real renaissance

back to the sports therapist he went on

to explain

in the early days if someone was in

debtors jail and they turned 50 they

were released

they celebrated living long enough to

turn 50. it’s called the jubilee year

he said why don’t you throw yourself a

jubilee birthday party and i did

in the time since i’ve celebrated i’ve

done several triathlons including two in

new york city

i fell in love and married the love of

my life at 58

and a strapless oscar de la renta gown

pure confection totally shameless

and i learned to surf somewhere

deep inside of me i must have developed

a newfound sense of self or self-esteem

or a true north and inner knowing

we all have it we just have to listen to

that little voice in us

and be true to ourselves honor ourselves

not transgress our own values

stand strong for what we believe in even

in the face of no agreement

this is courage have the fear

and do it anyway and i started to own

who i was our society deems women

invisible

at a certain age and this is something

we can change now and forever

so that our younger sisters after us

never feel their light go out

there’s so many myths and misconceptions

about women aging in our western culture

including as we get older we become

invisible what happens is we can feel

less valued

and sometimes downright disregarded

there’s an entire population that feels

disenfranchised

what happens is internally we feel

invisible and we feel like our life

doesn’t have much meaning

and we take on the role of being

invisible as women age we have so

much to offer but we believe the myth

live as if it’s true

and it becomes a self-fulfilling

prophecy

young women do not know what this is

about

it is my desire that younger women who

have never experiences

never do rather than warn our younger

sisters it’s my desire to mentor

and support women and talk about this so

we stop accepting and we stop

passing it down this will not only serve

our communities

but it will have a global impact as well

the power of one tiny wave

in japan can make its way to the shore

in costa rica like the waves i stood in

it starts as a swell

somewhere way out in the ocean and by

the time it reaches the shore and breaks

its force is irresistible

water has an undeniable ripple effect

and your actions can have this kind of

effect too

it starts with you do one thing it

doesn’t matter how big or small

because like the waves its force is

undeniable

if you feel invisible look yourself in

the eye

in the mirror and say something positive

that you believe is true about yourself

like you’re amazing you go girl you suit

up and show up no matter what

i’m so proud of you go get them when you

do this your light actually comes on

we can feel old or invisible at any age

to stay visible

continue to affirm yourself with

positive thoughts

and if that’s tough move a muscle change

a thought

sometimes it just takes a smile

becoming visible is our responsibility

not only for ourselves but for our

brothers and sisters

when we stay visible they come to see us

as heroes

and they benefit from our wisdom i have

many heroes but definitely jane fonda

i knew her as a political activist and

actress during the vietnam war in the

70s

in the 80s she reinvented herself and

changed the world with her exercise

video jane fonda’s workout

best selling video home system of all

time

in the 90s she retired from acting only

return in 2005

and co-found the women’s media center

with gloria steinem

and robin morgan to amplify the voices

of women in the media

in 2015 jane stepped into her principal

role

co-starring at grace and frankie and in

2018

she was featured in the award-winning

documentary jane

fonda and 5 act jane is still my hero

as recent as october of last year she

was first arrested for protesting

climate change

she has inspired millions of people and

jane in turn has been inspired by young

people

especially the environmental activist

greta tunberg

who prompted jane to commit the rest of

her life

to climate change like jane

you have a principal role to play in

order to create this kind of change

let’s all embrace our five

[Applause]

acts