Women Believing in Women

thank you thank you thank you

hola felicidad revolucion mexicana today

is mexican revolution day

an actual holiday in mexico guys unlike

cinco de mayo

i’m not even gonna get there but i mean

you can still drink though today so

let’s celebrate mexican revolution day

after the ted talk

but i’m not here to talk to you about

mexican holidays

i’m here to talk to you about how i an

immigrant from mexico

who came to this country at 17 pregnant

and without knowing any english became

an award-winning journalist in both

spanish and english news and how

when we women believe in each other can

create positive outcomes

and sometimes with a simple act of

kindness

we can change someone’s life without us

even trying

but in order for you to understand my

journey i must take you back to my

childhood

i was born and raised in caborca sonora

mexico

yay i grew up in both cavorca and a

small town called

pitikito this is about six hours away

from phoenix if you look it up in the

map it’s there i promise just a tiny

tiny dot but it’s there

you know growing up there was really

tough

we were really poor my dad he basically

built our

our first home with no experience at all

and this is before youtube

he basically put just wood and rack

and then he put it together without any

insulation so it was really cold when

the winter

but you know that was my dad

but that was our first home and we have

a lot of good memories there

we were really poor that i remember the

first time i saw a bathroom with tile

i didn’t want to leave the room i was

five years of age

and at that age you know you’re so

little that it looks so shiny and it

looks so expensive

but growing up poor taught me a lot

my dad he was an immigrant from

guatemala living undocumented in mexico

in mexico like who does that

still he was able to always provide the

basic needs for his family to his four

children and even to pay for my mother’s

education

my mom was a nursing school student who

later became a lawyer

she has two careers just amazing i had

everything

i come from a hard working family

i had healthy siblings i had everything

and being the daughter of an immigrant i

had a lot of pressure on me

you know i was the oldest daughter the

smart student

the overachiever so when i got pregnant

at 17 in my senior year of high school

i couldn’t face them i ran away

right after graduation with my abusive

boyfriend

to the u.s lompoc california

my new life started here

this is where my daughter andrea who’s

here

she was born there she’s going to be 18

next week actually

i love you mama and i’m so proud of you

our new life started in the u.s and i

remember this street

pretty clearly but i was

away from my family i was still with my

abusive boyfriend who was still abusing

me even while pregnant

i had no money i felt voiceless

trapped away from my family

alone in a country i did not know

and pregnant even though i had a

boyfriend to rely on

i was on my own most of the times but

i’m smart

so i quickly learned about this place

called the pantry it’s basically the

food bank

there in lombok and i also learned how

grocery carts are basically free for you

to take anywhere

it was like my uber for free so it was

even better

i used to take a grocery cart across

longboat every morning to go get my food

and in order to get the best of you

needed to arrive there super early

so you see lombok is a tiny town and

super quiet

so you will see me and hear me super

early in the morning with my grocery

cart pushing it at six a.m

probably waking up everyone

you know i never bought maternity

clothes

i don’t know what that feels like i

couldn’t afford it

i also couldn’t afford buying clothes

for my unborn daughter

i don’t remember but somehow i crossed

paths with

probably the only colombian in town and

she spoke perfect spanish

she told me about this place where she

volunteered at and where they could help

me with my daughter helping me with

donated clothes for her

i didn’t ask her for help yet she was

lending me a hand

an act of kindness that changed my life

my daughter’s life i can spend

hours talking to you about lombok it’s a

beautiful town

and i saw you guys like wine they have

great wine over there too

but i’m gonna save those memories for my

book

once andre i was born i left to phoenix

arizona

my parents convinced me to move here

closer to my uncles

and thank god i listen once here i left

my boyfriend

out of my life and my daughter’s life

and then

started a new journey as a single mom in

the u.s

i remember having three jobs i learned

quickly the basic english conversations

to land my first job

hi welcome to pueblo mexican food how

can i help you

yes i was a waitress but i even landed a

job as a supervisor for a call center

and data entry place answering phone

calls in english

without knowing english and i was a

supervisor

i don’t know how that happened but hey

they were paying really good

so fake it until you make it

i was even a bartender but if you ask me

right now to make you a drink

it’s gonna be disgusting so that job

didn’t last long

but hey i was hustling i needed to pay

for my daughter’s childcare

bills rent car payment i mean you name

it

it wasn’t easy i was so fortunate though

to have my best friend as a roommate

eliana she was my rock again

another woman in my life making a

difference without her even knowing

my supervisor job soon became the only

job i needed

but then i learned about this program

where andrea could be in preschool for

free

but in order for her to get in the

program she needed to get a physical

i mean i was a new mom i didn’t know a

physical she was three

who gets a physical at three years of

age

i have always been super overprotective

and i always thought andrea how no one

no one should ever touch your private

parts

so when the doctor tried to check even

with me in the room

andrea went crazy and refused to allow

the doctor to even get

close to her so they reported us to cps

now called the department of children

services

i remember being in that room afraid

i swear i thought they were going to

take my baby away from me

and i couldn’t understand why i’m a good

mom

and i couldn’t explain to them why

andrea was acting the way she was acting

because my english was broken

i felt helpless soon a nice lady a

social worker started busy or not

randomly

she was so nice and i wish i would

remember her name

because this was during the time where

you know 15 years ago we had an overlord

even more

over a lot of cases here in the state

and a lot of social workers ended up

quitting their jobs

but this lady she was special

when she realized how young i was and

that i spoke a little bit of english

she asked me about college she said

there’s nothing wrong here you and your

daughter have a normal family i’m so

sorry that you have to be

you know they put you through this but

what about school

why don’t you continue school and when

she mentioned college i was like um

i can go to college i don’t speak

english i have a child

i’m a single mom i’m from mexico i can’t

she then offered me free childcare

services

for free on 200 i was six

and i said ma’am um i’m from mexico

hello and she’s like and she’s like ah

no questions asked

your immigration status we don’t care

this is for your daughter

a u.s citizen but in exchange

she asked me to enroll in college which

i did

because i’m a woman of my word and you

have no idea

how much i wish i knew her name so she

can see me now

so she can see that i graduated with a

bachelor’s degree in journalism from one

of the best journalism

schools in the country that i graduated

magna laude

that i speak english that i’m a us

citizen

that i have won nine emmys so far and a

national award

and that the kid she helped

15 years ago that kid is graduating from

high school next year

with an associate’s degree and we’ll go

to college

that i’m here today standing in front of

all of you

talking about her thanking her in a ted

talk

a ted talk

you know she didn’t have to do what she

did

she could have just you know said i’m

sorry apologize it’s a mistake

and go on but she went

beyond that and she changed our lives

and i always say you know i know life is

not easy

for anybody really i get that but when

you’re an immigrant

it’s really hard not everyone has to

help i-hat

and not everyone can learn english

quickly

so please do not discriminate when you

hear someone with broken english

or with an accent instead

listen to them try to learn about their

journey

a voice coach once said our life

experience is reflected

in our voices love our differences

embrace us we’re better i’m better

because of people like you

all of you willing to learn from others

so i encourage you

to help other women there are way too

many lilianas out there

help them to see that there’s more to

believe in themselves

the social worker she didn’t do the work

for me she didn’t study

tirelessly or did my homework while

raising a child

but she did help me find the tenacity in

me

with the simple tiny push so to you

social worker whatever you are

thank you this ted talk is dedicated to

you

i hope i’m making you proud and remember

the next time you help someone even if

it’s the tiniest act of kindness

who knows you may be helping someone

like me someone who didn’t even know

doors existed thank you