The history of a nasty word

first

a warning as far as offensive words go

you are now entering a hard hat area

we’re going to be unabashed in this i’m

talking to you

about a very particular word a very

powerful word a very

see you next tuesday word

a word that is still so offensive that

the funders of this event would only let

me talk about it

if we censored it on the slides

which rather proves my point don’t you

think

i love this word oh my god i love

everything about this word not just what

it signifies but the actual

the actual sound of it the fact that the

c

and the t just just cushion the sound

into this monosyllabic that you can just

spit like a bullet or you can extend it

out and roll it round your mouth

[Music]

i love its dexterity i love the fact

that in scotland it’s a term of

endearment

but in america it’s horrendously

offensive

i love it means something different with

your friends than it does if you said it

to your boss it would probably cost you

your job

i do not recommend it i love this word

i love the fact that the first three

letters are still the same

chalice shape all rolling through the

word until they’re stopped in that

plosive t

at the end i think the thing i love most

about it is its status as

the nastiest of all the nasty words

although that title is under some

contention now there are other obvious

heavyweight contenders

for the most offensive word the n-word

for example but here’s what i would say

to you i know why that word is offensive

i can look at the history that word

enabled the brutalization and racial

genocide

of an entire group of people it played

its part in dehumanizing

black people what did [ __ ] do

does it not strike anyone else as odd

that a word that just means the vulva

could

even be regarded in the same league of

offense

as the n-word are we saying that vulvas

are that offensive

surely not but what i want to talk to

you today about is how did we get here

has it always been this offensive and

how did it come to be so

the answer is no it was not but let’s

look at the history of it first of all

where in the [ __ ] does couldn’t come

from

it’s one of those words that’s so old

etymologists and linguists kind of

because they lose sight of it

eventually it’s the oldest word for the

vulva that we have in the english

language it might even be the oldest

in the world there are some theories

there are also similar cognitions in

germanic languages all across europe so

the vikings would be talking about

hunters

the germans had cunto dutch [ __ ]

germanic

cot and i think at one point we had cut

which i think may be due for a revival

after that it gets a bit confusing as to

what this word actually means

one of the leading theories is that it

shares this root this

proto-indo-european root with this gen

sounds which you also see in genetics

gene and that means to create another

theory is that it comes from this

sound goon which gives this woman

gynecology

create woman but what really

fascinates linguist is this sound the

cool

sound because that gave us [ __ ] and it

also gave us

cunning cunning originally didn’t mean

sneaky it meant you knew something

cunning folk

cunning women were wise women and in

scotland still today if you can

something it means you know something i

can this

it also gave us queen and cow slightly

bizarre which is

slightly less high brow but

it turns up again in the middle ages in

quent

which means knowledge and also means

[ __ ] it has a latin

variation as well kunis which also means

[ __ ] which is turns up all over the

roman world including in graffiti and

in pompeii some of my favorite roman

graffiti from the city of pompeii

i won’t try and do the latin but it’s

translated to be

a hairy [ __ ] is better [ __ ] than a

smooth one

it wants [ __ ] and holds in steam

there you go however i put it to you

that the word [ __ ] as offensive as it

may be

today stems from a root that means woman

knowledge create cow

has it always been this offensive no

but we’ll talk about this so when we

talk about these words

vulva vagina trying to offer more

palatable alternatives to [ __ ]

vagina the word turns up in the 17th

century it’s taken directly from latin

and it means a scabbard

it means something that a sword goes

into

vulva doesn’t do much better that

appears in the 14th century

and it means womb but some people

suggest it comes from the french

means rapper both these words derive

their meaning and their import

from the penis basically that’s what a

vagina is it’s something a sword

goes into i say that these words aren’t

as feminist as [ __ ]

which comes from a word that means queen

create

wisdom cow

when did it first start being used in

english as we recognize it today

grope couldn’t lane this is the first

recorded instant the oxford english

dictionary turns up in 12

30 a street name in london called grope

[ __ ] lane

which was exactly what it sounds like

this was in the red light district of

southwark it was a lane for groping

[ __ ]

and there wasn’t just one in london

there was one in bristol there was one

in york they piss

all over the british isles here it is

there’s the one in bristol

it’s like oxford there is just in blue

but whereas glaswegians might be calling

each other and their friends [ __ ] it

seems that medieval people were calling

their children [ __ ] because it turns up

in a number of names

bizarrely enough vladimir clark hunt

is recorded in 1066 guernica cuntells

in 1219 john phil [ __ ]

in 1246 robert cleveland

1302 and a miss belle wide [ __ ]

turns up in the norfolk subsidiary role

we don’t know if these are aliases or if

they’re jokes

but we do have a lot of fun with

medieval names in fact originally the

word [ __ ]

did not mean what it means today it

means to strike something to hit

which gives us the fabulous name of a

dairy farmer in 1290 who’s known as

simon [ __ ] butter

so was it this offensive to medieval

people no it wasn’t

[ __ ] turn up all over medieval culture

and medieval literature and they are

certainly not offensive it’s just a

descriptive term

here’s some examples the proverbs of

hending from 1325 advises

women to give your [ __ ] cunningly and

make your demands later i

get a ring on it first before you give

it up

there’s a welsh poet called gwyford

mccain from the 15th century and she

advises

a male poet to celebrate the fine bright

curtain of a [ __ ] that flaps in place of

greeting

it might surprise us that medieval

culture was this open about [ __ ] but

the truth was they were more sexually

liberated than we actually give them

credit for

this idea of them being in a tower with

a chastity belt on is largely

a hatchet job on their reputation done

by the victorians

now it wasn’t a sexually liberated

utopia they had their own hang-ups

but they weren’t that offended by sex

well get you in trouble swear words

middle ages was religious ones

blasphemous ones

if you said something like god’s wounds

or god’s teeth that’s what you’d say if

you’re

caught you think you’re flying you’re

soft and danglies and you fly

one middle later one medieval poet

who drops the c bomb with the precision

of a military drone is this chap

jeffrey chaucer who turns up in gcse’s

a-level syllabuses although his [ __ ]

jokes are generally not

dwelled upon this is history he doesn’t

use the word [ __ ] he uses the word

quenta

here which again means knowledge and it

means [ __ ] so this is his joke

as the clark’s been full subtle uh full

here quenta and privily he caught her by

the cuenta a rough translation means

the clerk was really cunning and he

caught her by the [ __ ]

shakespeare it’s been suggestion that he

uses that play

a quaint quenta [ __ ] in his sonic

in his sonic number 20. here he is

it certainly turns up in a lot of his

work

it’s a lot ruder than we often give him

credit for in hamlet act 3 scene 2.

hamlet says to ophelia he says shall i

lie in your lap and she says oh no my

lord and then he says do you think i

meant country matters

when david tennant played that part he

paused on there do you think i meant

[ __ ]

rematters to try and really drive it

home

another one twelfth night malvolio says

of his mistresses handwriting there be

her sees her use her teeth and that thus

she makes her very great peas

punning on [ __ ] and piss simultaneously

the immortal bard’s status as a smoke

peddler is often swept under the

cultural rug

in 1707 thomas boulder

published the family shakespeare where

he edited out all of these jokes all of

the rude bits and made a completely

cunt-free affair

it’s no surprise that about this time we

start to get the first libel laws in

britain the first uh banning of

seditious and offensive pamphlets with

the rise of puritanism

for shakespeare to be veiling his [ __ ]

jokes and kind of cheeky dublin tundras

suggests that it’s not quite as free and

open as guernica controls and grope [ __ ]

lane

would once have had

the puritans repressed sexuality we know

this

and language is an extremely important

battleground for sexual liberation how

do you talk about your bodies if the

very words that you’re trying to use are

considered to be offensive

how do you do that and by the time we

get to the restoration period the

early modern period [ __ ] is most

certainly offensive

and this chap here john wilmer earl of

rochester

is the absolute poster boy of [ __ ] you

if the puritans tried to dam up

sexuality this guy

surfed to notoriety on a wave of sexual

repression that was unleashed when the

plug was pulled on the puritan rule

he uses [ __ ] a lot and he’s very naughty

about it

he wrote this poem about his mistress

and how jealous he was of her other

lovers

when your lewd [ __ ] came spewing home

drenched with the seed of half the town

my drum of sperm was sucked up after for

the digestive surface water

full gouged another time with a vast

meal of slime

which your devouring [ __ ] who missed one

half drawn from portis backs

and footman’s brawn for everyone

he uses that word to shock and it’s easy

to look at his work and think that he’s

sexually liberated but he’s actually

quite angry at [ __ ] and their owners

and that goes all the way through it

from here on out [ __ ] is an offensive

naughty word george and [ __ ] here we go

i’ll just let that settle so what

happens about the 18th century is the

print industry really explodes

and of course we being humans we didn’t

just want to publish nice books

we published porn

there’s a huge proliferation of porn

that comes out of the 18th century but

oddly enough most of it shies away from

using that word [ __ ]

in 1785 francis gross published his

book a dictionary of a vulgar tone which

is basically a dictionary of slang

and he defined [ __ ] as a nasty name for

a nasty thing

such modesty from someone who also uses

the word buccaneers boot

lobster pot skut and mrs frub’s parlor

for the vulva this book here

harris’s list this is an almanac it’s a

directory of sex workers in london at

the time who was selling sex

and it lists not only their address and

their prices

but very very intimate descriptions of

what they do

and their vulvas but it doesn’t use [ __ ]

very much

this one here this is an illustration

fabulous illustration from

fanny hill what’s often called the first

pornographic novel which was published

in 1748 by john cleland

who famously boasted that he did it

without writing any rude words at all

these texts tend to use expressions like

mossy grot

cupid’s coal hole venus’s mounds

but we shy away from [ __ ]

victorian so despite their reputation

for being sexually prudish

pornography flowed underneath victoria

uppercut society like a river of slime

and ghostbusters 2.

they had pornography all over the place

visual and literary and they had a lot

of fun with [ __ ]

one of their pornographic magazines the

pearl was published from

1879 to 1880 and it published in it

nursery rhymes everywhere every month

i’ve got some here for you to have a

look at

there was a young lady of hitchen who

was scratching her [ __ ] in the kitchen

her father said rose it’s the crabs i

suppose you’re right par the buggers are

itching

there was a young man of bombay who

fashioned a [ __ ] out of clay

but the heat of his prick turned it into

a brick and it chafed all his foreskin

away

yeah well done victorian well done

interestingly it’s also in the 19th

century that we get the first recorded

use of couldn’t being used as an insult

as an actual you are a [ __ ] that’s the

first time that it’s used in the 19th

century

in the 17th century we start it being

used as a kind of a

derogatory collective noun for women

samuel peeps writes about this

aphrodisiac that’s going to make all the

[ __ ] chase after him

charming that’s when they weren’t

stabbing him with pins for being too

sexually aggressive

anyway the victorians liked a

well-placed [ __ ]

one of the most important [ __ ] moments

in history is this

is the um publication and the subsequent

obscenity trial of lady chateley’s lover

this book contained 14 [ __ ] and 40

books

and it was banned and it had to go on

trial orders to be published and it was

shocking not just because the graphic

scenes of sex

and the and the language used but

because it smashes down class boundaries

if you’re not familiar with this it’s

about lady constance chatley a married

woman

who um embarks on affair with with sean

being here

uh but with mel is the game keep and the

idea is that it doesn’t matter all her

heirs and graces and titles

she’s got a [ __ ] she’s a sexual and that

levels them

but one of the pivotal scenes is where

melis tries to tell her what [ __ ] means

i won’t do the accent nae nae [ __ ]

only what animals do but [ __ ] a lot

more than that

it’s the just thou see there’s a lot

more beside an animal aren’t there

even to [ __ ] [ __ ] that’s the beauty of

the lass

[ __ ] that’s the beauty of the lass i

love that

now despite a jury that agreed a work

stuffed full of [ __ ] does have artistic

merit

and they allowed it to be published and

you can see the pictures of the people

queuing around the streets to get their

hands on this book once it was

[ __ ] never really made it back into the

mainstream

feminists have maintained a rather

uneasy relationship

with [ __ ] this is judy chicago she led

what was called the [ __ ] art movement of

the 1970s

it first turned up in a film a

mainstream cinema in 1971 in carnal

knowledge with jack nicholson

who screamed at a woman that she is a

ball-busting son of a [ __ ] [ __ ]

or words to that effect and in the

exorcist as well

it appears in the vagina monologues 1996

i think it was with eva ensler when she

talks about reclaiming

[ __ ] but it’s still not off the

linguistic naughty step

despite all of this work [ __ ] today

it was it was finally admitted

to the oxford english dictionary despite

having been around for thousands

of years in the 70s and then in 2014

they relented a little bit more and they

added [ __ ] cuntish counted

hunting so we all know exactly what that

means

the ofcom the uh regulator for uk

tv censorship in 2016 released a poll of

what they regarded to be the most

offensive words

and [ __ ] was bang up there it was on top

it is still regarded as a horrendously

offensive words

but here’s what i want to leave you with

what do you call yours

because as far as i can see words for

vulva or [ __ ]

fall into a few categories we’ve got

child like

a tuppence a twinkie a foo for minky and

mary

very medical a vulva podendum vagina

slightly detached down there it’s down

there

bits special area

violent axe wound penis fly trap gash or

a growler

someone told me well the taxi driver on

my way in told me that it’s glaswegian

slang for cunnilingus is growling

at the badger which i’ll leave that with

you

or they just tend to be unpleasant

horrible images of

fish and meat and general putrescence

fish taco bacon sandwich

badly stuffed kebab bearded clam etc

etc are these better alternatives

to [ __ ] but i think the reason that

we’re not prepared and we can’t handle

[ __ ] is because we can’t handle [ __ ]

generally while it’s been linguistically

sanitized

culturally the only [ __ ] we seem to be

okay with the ones that have been

plucked and buffed and waxed and glued

and covered in glitter

it’s a virgil by the way the vagina

plaster disney

business is booming you can have your

labia cut off you can have your hymen

rebuilt you can have your pelvic floor

re-sprung

are we this uncomfortable with the [ __ ]

actually as it is

it’s a seat of enormous awesome power it

can eat a penis and push out a baby it’s

not a twinkle

it is an old word it’s an offensive word

but it’s an ancient and honest one and

this is think this is the original word

everything else came after so welcome to

team [ __ ]