Kinship How to Change the World

[Music]

the word ken

means one’s family or relatives kinship

is the sharing of characteristics or

origins

the extension of family so i believe

when it comes to kinship it all starts

with the family and how you’re brought

up

and given what i’ve just said i think

kinship is so simple to do

it’s the natural extension of being part

of a family

so let me begin by saying i absolutely

love and adore my sister

carey has been one of the best parts of

my life since i was just three years old

we always knew carrie was a little bit

different but just a year and a half ago

she was diagnosed with a rare genetic

condition called singap1

this affects her speech gross motor

skills and she has a small seizure once

in a while

she communicates with sign language some

vocalization

and lots of personality with me and my

family

now this has made my life interesting

and i mean that in the best way possible

carrie and i have an amazing

relationship

she has one of the most infectious

laughs a person can ever hear

and of course her go-to amusement is

trying to annoy me to the point of

insanity

but nonetheless carrie is my best friend

in this world

and she always will be now

imagine being locked in a house with

your best friend for three months

straight

this is exactly what happened to me and

carrie at the start of the kova

quarantine

in the beginning it was cool and

mysterious i mean we had all this time

to just hang out and play

but as the days dragged on and the

weather warmed up we developed some

cabin fever

we needed to find a new activity besides

eating sleeping

and driving their parents nuts which i

think a lot of people can relate to

and at the exact same time i just got my

driver’s license and my mom had just

bought a new car

so i was shocked when i went to my mom

and said hey mom can i take your car out

for a drive make sure it still works and

make sure i still know how to drive

i was shocked when she said conor of

course you can

if you take your sister with you so a

compromise was made

and off we went and now carrie and i had

some great times out driving

we’d have the windows down and the music

cranked and just in case my parents are

watching this

we absolutely were going the speed limit

at all times

and now no other car in andover could

cycle through

drake the wiggles maroon 5

or sesame street as well as we could

and even though we had some great times

driving the inevitable crept in

we started to get a little sick and

tired of each other’s personalities

it had been quite a long few months

and now so what i did to combat that was

i began picking up one of my best

friends

who also goes to st john’s with me he’d

stay in the front

and carry would rock out in the back

like usual and

but my friend didn’t really know what to

do with carrie was he supposed to talk

to her

ignore her just sit there the dilemma i

saw him go through was

absolutely no surprise unless someone

has a real

deep personal connection with someone

with special needs

they just don’t get it and that’s

totally okay but what would happen next

would shock me and move me still today

carrie once she became comfortable with

our new passenger

did her usual she’d give me a jab in the

ribs or a tug on the ear

which probably was not the safest thing

to do while i was driving but if you

don’t tell my parents

i think we’ll be okay and when she did

this she fell into her

famous belly laugh and my friend had a

look of shock and amazement

when she did this he like everybody fell

in love with carrie’s laugh and what

would happen next was my friend

began watching and observing what made

kerry laugh the most

and mimicked it he just made her laugh

all the time

and then eventually i was sitting in the

front of the car

all by myself my friend moved to the

back

to sit with carrie so they could

interact easier

i mean what 17 year old who’s got a

tough guy attitude with the rest of my

friends

all of a sudden best buddies with a 14

year old girl not to mention a girl who

didn’t speak

and who was probably watching disney

princess movies in the back of the car

most of the time

i was genuinely moved to say the least

now what i witnessed developed between

carrie and my friend

was absolutely natural kinship it was

not contrived or forced

my friend wasn’t with carrie out of

charity or service

no they genuinely enjoyed spending time

with each other

and see i think that’s what kinship is

all about it is

100 percent a natural human condition

humans crave kinship we need kinship

kinship is fostered through the ordinary

and the unspectacular

now i often think that kinship is

confused

with service however you don’t need to

start a school supplies drive

or a soup kitchen in order to find

kinship with somebody now all those

things are amazing and i have the utmost

respect for people who work to create

them

but like i said in the beginning i just

don’t think kinship needs to be all that

complicated

doesn’t require that much effort or

sacrifice

all you need to do is find a common

interest with somebody

now look i think everybody wants to

change the world

i certainly want to but something i like

to say is

how can you do the big things without

doing the small ones

so let me ask you how can you change the

world without changing somebody’s life

first

now this sounds really corny of me to

say but my life was

absolutely changed by the unknowing

actions of my friend and carrie

they prove to me that anybody can find

kinship with anyone

no matter your ability your age

your gender your race your nationality

your sexual orientation anything

anybody can find kinship if you have a

common interest and everybody has a

common interest

so now i want to challenge all of you

who are watching the minute this ends

i want you to reflect think of somebody

you know somebody you know of

or somebody you don’t know at all and go

seek them out

go talk to them go find a common

interest

i promise you kinship is bound to happen

and you’re gonna change somebody’s life

thank you very much