The Radical Sabbatical

madison had been

a great place to start a family and on

the surface

everything was fine we had a sweet home

and a walkable neighborhood between two

lakes

a tight community of friends and good

work

i was teaching yoga and doing

photography and my husband

was managing an affordable housing

non-profit but as we emerged from the

cocoon years of raising little children

we were feeling increasingly stifled

even disheartened

my husband was feeling burned out and

ready to move on from his work

and we had outgrown our little

two-bedroom household change was needed

but we were challenged in how to answer

this question

what’s next what’s next

this is a question we all answer all day

long

in mostly unnoticed habitual ways

through years of contemplative studies

i’ve learned paying attention to how

we’re answering this question is

critical

because how we answer this becomes the

whole of our lives

our family could have gone the more

common route

find another job and get a bigger house

but my husband and i have a shared

desire for more adventurous paths

couple this with swelling news of

climate change

failed leadership pressures around how

to manage screen time with our kids

and a growing cultural polarization

this deeper inquiry was also related to

how

best guide our girls at a time when

their world views were so formative

and impressionable then aged 7 and 11.

what was going to dominate their

internal narrative about their future

what would help them navigate their

what’s next

with relation to the world they would

inherit

these are dynamic times and our children

are growing up with a kind

of expiration date on life as we know it

something that science cannot exactly

predict what that will look like

but is clear it will not be what we’ve

known before

how do we increase our resilience and

our capacity

to meet these unprecedented times

there is a quote that i keep close from

howard thurman

an author theologian and key leader of

the civil rights movement from the 1960s

it’s been part of my email signature for

years so that i see it every day

and it says don’t ask what the world

needs

ask what makes you come alive and go do

it

because what the world needs is people

who have come alive

come alive my husband

andy and i met working in isle royale

national park

and share a love of nature for me

spending significant time in my twenties

in wilderness changed my life and my

sense of place in the world

if i could pinpoint a moment i came

alive it was then

living and working in wilderness

so in this context of what’s next and

looking for broader answers

we pressed pause we

pulled our kids out of school sold our

home

left our work and in the fall of 2017

hit the road for a year i named the

radical sabbatical

we gave ourselves a year to let go of

what wasn’t working

a year to sit with the unknown and live

the questions

we slowed down prioritized connection

with each other and connection to what

originally

made us come alive and brought us

together in the first place

time with nature this year was divided

into three chapters

lived via a camper trailer

the first chapter was a trip out west

across the northern rockies and down the

west coast

we spent time in some of the most

celebrated parks

such as glacier yellowstone

the redwoods and joshua tree

the second chapter time on the family

farm in the north woods of wisconsin

supporting andy’s parents move off the

farm

and also contemplating if this was a

place we wanted to relocate to

and chapter three a trip out west

because

it’s so glorious we traversed some

places we had missed

and adventured into the colorado plateau

yosemite and further north

into the canadian rockies

what became of that year will forever be

etched

in our memories and our hearts

highlights include being camped

on the pacific on the olympic peninsula

wandering the shores

and watching whales come in to feed day

after day

i know that sounds cheesy but it really

happened

we also spent significant time around

creatures larger than ourselves

including bison grizzly

and elk in their homes sometimes too

close

a favorite of mine was snaking our way

through the slot canyons of utah

appreciating the master sculptors of

water wind and time

on earth’s canvas

as with any big adventure came the

misadventures too

we got a close look at lyme disease

and its crippling effects after three

weeks of my husband suffering

through symptoms of fevers night sweats

and this escalating pain in his joints

that walking became difficult

we finally got our hands on antibiotics

and in three days

it was over

only 48 hours after that we arrive

in ventura california to visit andy’s

cousin gibran

on the night the thomas fire blew up

we’ve all seen news of increasingly

strong and

swift wildfires but to hear the call for

evacuation

by bullhorn from a fire truck in the

street

and to come out and see flames crowning

the hills

brought the climate crisis to a

frightening reality

the thomas fire was the largest fire on

record

that year in california what we’re

seeing now

is shattering those records

after all of the adventures and the few

mishaps

we returned to madison and all the good

things that it offers

it was a powerful incredibly vulnerable

year

as we pressed pause let go of what

wasn’t working

and filled that space with a

reconnection to each other

and this world it filled the restless

void

of what’s next with a renewed sense of

wonder

and deep appreciation for what is

but this talk isn’t about us and that

cool thing we did

it’s about the power of pressing pause

we took a large pause a big moment to

get present

to disconnect from the routine even

maddening

busyness and reclaim that feeling of

coming alive

to influence our answering of what’s

next

it worked he got that different better

job

and we have a house that suits us

but life is richer and not just on the

surface

we can all press pause regularly

in simple ways like taking a few moments

each day getting connected to what’s

around us

and grounding into our senses the sounds

the sights the smells

without just being on to the next thing

automatically

something as accessible as this can

begin to shift

our brain in ways that changes

perception in a supportive way

neuroscience is telling us this and the

core of compelling research behind

neuroplasticity

this study of how the brain is shaped by

our experiences

and its ability to form new pathways

over the course of a lifetime

is that engaging in practices like

mindfulness

or other present moment techniques for

as little as

10 minutes per day can begin to change

our brains

and perceptual field in as few as eight

weeks

we have the innate ability to tap

resources of resilience

enhanced awareness that positively shape

how we’re experiencing our lives

one notable piece of evidence about the

impact of pressing pause and the brain

is about the amygdala this is the center

that produces fear anxiety and the

general stress response

something i think we’re all familiar

with

with such practices done regularly

like i mentioned the amygdala gets

physically

smaller and is therefore less apt to

dominate

our perceptual narrative like our

thoughts and our feelings

and therefore less apt to pilot how

we’re choosing are what’s next

stress response states are natural

they’re necessary but they are not meant

to be the architects of our lives

bridge this invitation of practicing

presence

along with engaging those experiences

that help you feel alive

another way of saying coming alive and

we have the invitation

to build a life in a world that is not

based on fear separation

and scarcity i asked my oldest daughter

now 14 how the trip changed her

and she said i had liked the structure

and comfort of my life

and always knowing what was going to

happen next

the trip opened me up to step out of my

comfort zone and make myself

uncomfortable

now being spontaneous and not knowing

what’s going to happen next

is something i enjoy i think this will

serve her well as she grows into the

world she is inheriting

stepping out of our comfort zone is

another way we get present

and helps us to adopt new ways of

relating

to the world it also helps us build our

capacity

to withstand a wide range of experiences

from pleasant to unpleasant wanted

to unwanted

we are all experiencing a radical

sabbatical of sorts as i present this in

2020

and not one of our own choosing covid19

has changed

everything and plunged us into a great

pause from what was

forcing us to sit with the unknown

reckoned with structures that are not

serving our collective

we are all challenged in how to answer

this question what’s next

what do we do with all of this

uncertainty

and the anxiety the fear it generates

something we learned on our trip is that

we don’t have to know yet

being willing to accept the unknown and

pause with it

can be a great teacher though i know

it’s not easy

possibility can be met there

so how do we get through this together

and even turn it into the possibility of

something better on the other side

something that makes us collectively

come alive in ways we could not have

imagined before all of this

who can say exactly but i can offer this

i welcome us all to routinely

press pause and give our bodies our

minds

our hearts the reset we need

i invite us all to slow down and stay in

connection with ourselves in each other

and what makes you come alive

creative expression exploring nature

like us

growing and cooking food movement

serving community whatever those

experiences are

reclaim engaging with them regularly

and not for reward or merit

but to simply feel that pulsation

of life and the remembrance that it is a

gift

to be here it may even invite wonder

and fill you with fresh purpose no

matter how bleak this current narrative

may seem

when we value real connection

real life experience in real time

it changes everything including the

mindset of how we’re answering

what’s next collectively as a planet

thank you