The Secret to Conquer the Outer World Lies in the Inner World

[Applause]

why is it

that in our life we often say

i think it’s my inner calling that is

telling me to do something we say it’s

my

inner voice that is telling me to take

action upon something

we use words like my instinct my gut

feeling

how is it that something within us can

guide us for something outside of us

let me share something with you when i

was in my 11th standard in school

there was a girl in our class extremely

smart intelligent

and enthusiastic to perform well in

academics

she used to sit on the first bench of

the middle right in front of the teacher

so that she could learn to her best

capacities

one day i entered the class and i

couldn’t find her sitting on the first

bench of the middle row

instead i found her to be sitting on the

first bench of the corner most room

i couldn’t understand why it happened

for the very first time

within a few days she was sitting on the

second bench

of the corner most of the class and then

on the third and then on the fourth

and slowly within a few days she was

sitting on the last pinch of the corner

most room

i couldn’t understand why it was

happening one day when we were starting

business in our class i happened to turn

towards where she was sitting

and i found her to be weeping

she didn’t want anyone to notice it so

she was hiding it with her face but i

happened to notice it and a voice inside

of me said

i need to ask her what’s wrong and i

thought okay the teacher is teaching

right now i’ll wait for the class to get

over

and then reach out to her and ask her if

everything’s all right or not

the class got over and i forgot to reach

out to her

it slipped out of my mind the next day

i’d come to school

planned okay today i’ll ask her if

everything’s all right or not only to

realize that she was absent that day

and the very same thing happened the

very next day

it took me a while to let it in when we

were told in the morning assembly

in a couple of days that she was no more

she died of suicide

you’re probably thinking exactly what i

was thinking at that point of time

if only i had reached out to her and

asked her what’s wrong

maybe just maybe i could have saved her

life

from that day onward the series of

questions started running inside of my

mind

how is it that i was able to sense that

pattern before moving from the first

bench to the last bench of the class

when no one else did how is it that

i was able to sense a possibility of

something being wrong why is it that i

felt the need to reach out to her

and lastly what is it that stopped me

from reaching out to her

all of these questions were taking me

just to one place

i knew it isn’t possible for me to find

the answers anywhere around me but

within me i was constantly thinking

how can something within us guide us for

something outside of

us how is it that each one of us take

different

actions in different situations and how

is it that the best solutions are not

the ones that we find on the outside

but the ones that we find on the inside

but what is this concept of the inside

and the outside

all we have known until now is the

there’s just one world that exists

the world that we live in let me break

it down to you there are two

one which we live in and another

that lives inside of us everything we

see and understand in this

outer world is completely dependent on

how we perceive anything

through the inner world let me tell you

what i mean by this i call this the

circle of importance

if i ask you to make a big circle and

put the most important person in this

world in the middle of that circle

and then ask you to make a second circle

outside of it and put the second most

important person in this world

in that second circle then a third

circle and a fourth circle

who would you put as the most important

person in this world

in the middle of that first circle

answer this by raising your hand when i

ask you

how many of you would put there your

parents

thank you how many of you would put

there a world leader maybe

i thank you how many of you would put

there someone you look up to

okay and how many of you would put there

yourself thank you

after all these years i’ve realized that

the most important person in this world

that we live in

is ourselves for me i am the most

important person

let me tell you what i mean by this

let’s say if i choose to put a world

leader

in the middle of that first circle as

the most important person in this world

how would i know that they need to be

there

because i believe they will bring a

positive change in this world

and how would i know that the change

that they’re trying to bring is a

positive change

because i believe it to be a positive

change and the same thing goes with

someone we look up to and let’s say if i

choose to put my parents in that

first circle as the most important

person in this world how would i know

their

importance how do i have the

understanding of their love

and the role that they play in my life

that is only possible when my beliefs my

perceptions and my values are correct

but what forms a belief how does someone

believe

something whatever our beliefs

are that decides how close we are to

making anything our reality

as small as not snoozing the alarm in

the morning to as big as bringing a

change in this world

right now you’re sitting here listening

to the exact same thing which the person

next to you is also listening

but your brain is taking this

information differently and processing

it differently than theirs

and it is all because of how your life

has been completely different from them

your life experiences circumstances

feelings

everything has been different from them

and on the basis of all of these things

you consciously choose

which words do you want to give more

importance to out of all the things that

you’re listening to here

beliefs are a belief is nothing else but

a chosen perception idea or a thought

that we

consistently repeat to ourselves so

whatever we repeat to ourselves

we’ll start to believe in it that’s why

during covert 19 when we used to call

someone there was this call of tune

wear masks use hand sanitizers and

maintain social distancing

every single time after a point of time

it did get annoying to be honest

they could have just told us once and we

would have understood it right

but they but it was there every time

because they wanted to fit it

into a mechanism and make it a part of

our everyday functioning

and they knew they could only do it by

repeating it to us again and again

the key here is that we hold the power

to form our beliefs

and what actions we take in our life or

what we do depends upon

the beliefs that we are forming in the

type of beliefs that we are forming

whether they are destructive beliefs

which are bad for us or others or their

constructive beliefs which are good for

us or others to give you an example of

this

dr martin luther king in his famous i

have a dream speech

used the words i have a dream eight

times

he could have just once said i have a

dream and continued by telling us

telling us what his dreams were but he

chose to say it again and again

and with each time he said it his belief

in his dreams

got stronger and stronger and the same

happened with the people who too

believed in this dream

when i was in school i was called to be

a part

of a stage play but not as an actor but

just to do a one minute dance piece in

it

i agreed upon it i went and i practiced

every day with the team which was full

of actors

while the practices were on my piece was

a very small piece so most of the time i

had to just sit and watch them practice

there was one more reason why i watched

them i secretly loved acting

during the practices i noticed something

in a scene that i thought if i tell them

it would be it would be a good insight

for them

to improve the scene in the act so i

went ahead reached out to them

and i told them exactly what i thought

could be changed

in the act there’s a silence in the room

for the next five seconds

just like this silence before the storm

the lead actor turned towards me and he

said a dancer should not put his nose

into acting

acting is different you’ll never

understand it

remember i just told you i secretly

loved acting

i took a turn and stepped into the world

of acting not to prove someone i could

act

not to prove myself i could act i

already believed

that i could act and i just wanted to

make that belief of mine even stronger

so whatever we believe in that forms

a mechanism in that direction and this

processing of

us decides how close we are to making

anything our reality

when i was told that acting isn’t for me

i could see myself one year down the

line

down one year down the line playing that

part

in the lead as a lead role because one

year down the line

that stage play was happening once again

i till that time i prepared myself

how much ever i could and learned

whatever little i could about acting

and one year down the line i was playing

the lead role in it and

on the same stage in the same play at

the same venue i was blessed and

fortunate enough to receive

the special mention for best actor how

did this happen

we more often than not let the events

around us affect

who we are how we are what we do and why

we do it

if a situation does not go in our favor

we say and start believing

i feel a certain way or i am a certain

way because of this thing or this person

i didn’t have a good day because of this

thing or this person which indicates we

aren’t in control

we are playing it opposite of how it

should be we’re playing it outside in

whereas if we reverse it and play inside

out it will suddenly be very interesting

if you realize that our thoughts and how

we feel has the potential to change the

outcomes in our life we go ahead

and create our reality it’s true that we

cannot predict

our future but it’s also true that we

can definitely create it

if we truly and deeply live a moment in

our inner world which hasn’t even

occurred yet

the brain doesn’t know if we are

imagining it or we are

experiencing it so no matter how smart

our brain is it’s still a bit dumb

so just like that acting incident

everything that i’m blessed with in my

life i’ve already

visualized myself being there doing it

and fulfilling it before it has even

occurred

this isn’t my first tedx talk i’ve

already given three detect stocks

in my bedroom because i believe

someday i will be here standing on this

red round carpet in front of these

blocks and i will be talking

to you and that is how we conquer ai in

our world

so if we conquer our inner world the

outer world is ours

forever any world leader you name them

have been able to bring a change in this

world

only because they’ve already seen and

visualized that change being made in

their inner world

and that process of theirs have become

the root the map

the pathway for them to create it in the

outer world

when elderly people are on their

deathbeds doctors do

take care and consider the length of

their life but more than that they work

on the quality of their life

how does one live a quality life

in a survey when only people were asked

if they have any regrets in their life

the

regrets that topped the list were all

about

fulfillment feelings emotions

relationships connections

joy happiness humanity kindness and none

of the materialistic things

it is these things that actually matter

in our life

and all of these things are built upon

the foundation of the inner world

we do so many different things in our

life when i said great things

don’t uh great things begin on the

inside i want to tell you that great

drinks don’t don’t just begin on the

inside they also end on the inside

out of all the things that we do in our

life each of them is for a reason

and the reason if you notice is always

and always

internal if you spot a pair of shoe

with a good design in a shop and you

want to buy it you’re not buying it

because it

looks good but you’re buying it because

it feels good to have a pair of shoes

that looks good

similarly you’re listening to a talk

right now not to see how the

speaker is presenting it but to maybe

learn something out

something from it grow from it and

become a better version of yourself

it is said that people do not forget

people might forget what you say people

might forget what you did but people

will never forget how you make them feel

if this is true why not

align what we say and what we do to make

people feel good

out of all of these things that we have

just understood

the final question points out towards us

out of all the feelings which feelings

do we want to give more importance to

while taking any action in our life

which emotions which relationships which

connections do we want to give more

importance to

if we make the right choices in the

inner world we’ll definitely make the

right choices in the outer world because

both of these worlds go hand in hand

with each other in absolute harmony

if you conquer the inner world the outer

world is yours forever

and when i say the outer world is yours

forever i don’t mean to say you’ll own

it

rather if you have an understanding of

how things function in the inner world

and what really matters in that world

you’ll rather not want to own it

you’ll stop wanting to win from others

you’ll stop wanting to be the number one

maybe

you’ll stop substantiating yourself with

other people

you’ll stop running after the things

that don’t even matter in our life

and maybe you’ll just let this world

be thank you so much