Trauma in Children What You Can Do to Help

[Music]

[Applause]

20 seconds

that’s how long i’ve been standing here

silent

and according to who’s predictions for

the year 2020

in that time someone somewhere has died

by suicide

and the next person might be your child

in 2017 the who declared

adolescent suicide a global public

health crisis

in the year 2020 the american academy of

pediatrics

declared youth suicide a national and a

global public health crisis

in the next 12 minutes we’re going to

discuss youth suicide

and try to understand why our kids kill

themselves

and i’ll teach you three things you can

do to help curb that pandemic

no pun intended but let me first state

that this talk might trigger some strong

emotions in some of us

that said people ask me all the time why

did i become a pediatrician

and i say it’s simple i love kids

then i had kids and between their boys

shenanigans and

sibling rivalry i realized that i can’t

protect my kids from childhood trauma

especially numero trace over there like

their parents divorce

or the effect of the domestic abuse

their mother endured

or from who i am as a result of my own

childhood trauma

you see you can’t see by looking at me

but when i was nine years old

i was lured into a cornfield by a

friendly adult neighbor

i remember him pushing me onto the

ground and laying on top of me

i can still feel the grass and the

leaves scratching my skin

the smell of raw corn the taste and

grittiness of sand in my mouth and

between my teeth

as i try to scream but no sound came out

you know i never really talk about that

most people don’t know about that

like most adults i’m largely silent

about the traumas that i’ve endured

like the near daily bullying in

elementary school on the bus

or racial profiling in america

or my rape in medical school

but one cold november morning in 2015

i swear all the ghosts of my trauma’s

past were chasing me down the highway in

san antonio texas

i was going at over 85 miles an hour my

thoughts and my heart were racing just

as fast

i had no seat belt on the rooftop of my

convertible was down

i was trying to go see god i was looking

for an

opening

anyone who ever heard about aces or

adverse childhood experiences

or a.k.a chihu trauma if you haven’t let

me explain

in 1995 the center for disease control

and kaiser permanente studied 17 000

adults for two years they were looking

for the effect of physical

sexual emotional and other traumas

sustained during childhood

and their studies showed that indeed

childhood trauma does

cause significant medical conditions

including mental health challenges

and suicide in some in later adult life

but what about a child that’s currently

undergoing trauma

what happens to them what’s the first

thing you think about when you hear

about is suicide

mental illness depression the obvious

low-hanging fruit

while depression certainly increases the

rate of suicide

in children we must examine the

underlying causes of said depressive

behavior

because as far as i know no child was

born sad

and depressed and trying to kill

themselves

something happened in the past few years

in the united states at least

prescription strength antidepressant use

has nearly quadrupled

and in that time frame suicide rates

have continued to soar

how do we reconcile that and so my

argument is that mental anguish

and not mental illnesses are the crux of

most suicides and in children

trauma is the epicenter in the form of

bullying

and child abuse and domestic violence

and racism

and police brutality and toxic

relationships

none of which prescription strength

medications can fix

you know when i started working with at

risk youth i realized that

kids that kill themselves are not really

simply depressed oh no

amongst other things they have been

betrayed

by systems that allow other kids to

bully them and adults to prey on them

like i was

betrayed by parents and caregivers who

for the most part

missed the signs which by the way four

out of five teens who attempt suicide

leave a sign

and a prior suicide attempt is the

strongest risk factor for suicide death

did you know that suicide is second only

to accidents as the leading cause of

death for kids age 10 through 34

or that african american kids age 5

through 12

are twice as like us as twice as likely

as the white counterparts to die by

suicide

or that lgbtq youth particularly trans

youth

and indigenous youth across the globe

all have a high rate of suicide attempt

one word trauma

yes self-loathing low self-worth

and negative intrusive thoughts are the

key features and the suicide notes of

his victims

and so you asked dr lulu what’s up with

that why is it happening i thought you’d

never ask

you know in the interest of time we’re

going to look at one case miss naika

venant

because a couple of uh two years ago

when i was

still a general pediatrician i quit my

job to examine exactly the answer to

that question

and so miss naika is a 14 year old

female from miami florida

who streamed her suicide live on

facebook only three weeks after

checklist another teen suicide for

alleged sexual assault by family member

betrayal check

while naika used a scarf some kids will

use other personal items like a belt or

a jump rope

but most kids will use firearms often

found at home like my neighbor’s son did

a few years a few weeks ago in san

antonio

for three long hours onlookers watched

and laughed an egg

one of them was actually allegedly her

own mother

then the miami herald described her

death as a lonely death

in the right of the question if naika

felt invisible most of her life

after all she endured countless episodes

of physical

sexual emotional and other traumas while

in a system that at one point placed her

in up to 16

different foster homes in the space of

only

eight months

and perhaps she chose a facebook live

because she finally wanted to be seen

silence shame stigma and a mix of raw

emotions

is the perfect recipe for the worst

outcome of trauma during childhood

but there’s hope yes there’s hope

studies have shown that formerly

suicidal you two can find

one single trusted adult in their lives

will thrive

that sanctuary is what i offer my

patients in my youth suicide prevention

practice

and you too can do the same yes you can

be the one

for the at-risk youth around you and

maybe you can join me in creating a

youth suicide free world

by the year 2025

but that’s around the corner so we need

to hurry first thing to do

look for signs they’re everywhere

remember four out of five

the commoner signs are one asking

questions

writing talking about death most kids

don’t do that

second sign feelings of shame and

hopelessness and worthlessness

third sign recklessness or a loss of

interest in activities they once loved

or just giving away their prized

possessions

second thing you can do offer these kids

empathy

and compassion not judgment and more

medications

third thing you can do talk to him and

for me

talk stands for tuning in to the right

radiofrequency of your child

aka know your kid secondly

ask the right questions what’s happening

what happened never ask why

and i know you’re gonna say this asking

questions about suicide

does not make somebody become suicidal

if anything at all the child will feel

like you care about them

and so i i permit you to ask the right

questions and if you’re going to ask

questions

you might as well listen and so i

recommend you lean in

lead from the heart close the space and

just listen

and of course keep communication lines

wide open

as you get them effective help because

you know one thing that happened

in november of 2015 that day could have

ended very very badly for me

but i started to make some changes in my

life here’s the thing though

i’m an adult i can make changes in my

life most kids cannot

and that’s where you come in and so the

first thing i did was

analyze my situation and i realized that

my antidepressants were making me worse

and the second thing i did was i

realized that my voice is the loudest

voice in my head

and the things i was saying to myself

were not good needless to say i’ve since

changed the way i speak to myself

and the third thing i do is i did i do

rather is

i got myself effective help and by the

help and support and love of my family

members and friends

and numero tris even if we have to carry

him along

i can proudly say that i am so thriving

like my friend d

lamar would say and i do the exact same

thing for my patients

the first thing we do is analyze their

thoughts their traumas

yes we literally name them one by one

and the second thing we do is

uncover their triggers let me tell you

something about triggers

they’re usually within 100 to 200 square

feet from where the child is standing

and so you my friend might be a trigger

and the third thing we do is help them

control the negative thoughts in their

head

by teaching them how to acknowledge the

thoughts

analyze the thoughts for veracity and

then act based on the analysis

and knock on wood my patients today are

all so

thriving and so do me a huge favor

next time you hear about suicide in a

child i want you to think of

three words trauma trauma trauma

always look for underlying factors

always ask the right questions avoid

jump into a diagnosis of mental illness

or giving medications because you know

what if a child is being severely raped

by her uncle

or being cyber bullied by their friends

they’re not mentally

ill they have been traumatized

and so in ending i’m gonna

give you my original quote a suicide

attempt

it’s never a cry for attention

it is always a cry for help

and so i’m going to ask you to please

rise and join me in observing 20 more

seconds of silence

in honor of these people we keep losing

every single day

to suicide beginning now

thank you

[Music]

you