The Lady with the Dog by Anton Chekhov
the lady with the dog part 1 it was said
that a new person had appeared on the
seafront a lady with a little dog Dmitri
Dmitri troff who had by then been a
fortnight at Yalta and so was fairly at
home there had begun to take an interest
in new arrivals sitting in Verna’s
pavilion he saw walking on the seafront
a fair-haired young lady of medium
height wearing a beret a white
Pomeranian dog was running behind and
afterwards he met her in the public
gardens and in the square several times
a day she was walking alone always
wearing the same beret and always with
the same white dog no one knew who she
was and everyone called her simply the
lady with the dog who she is here alone
without husband or friends who wouldn’t
be a missed to make her acquaintance
growph reflected he was under forty but
he had a daughter already twelve years
old and two sons at school he had been
married young when he was a student in
his second year and by now his wife
seemed half as old again as he she was a
tall erect woman with dark eyebrows
staid and dignified and as she said of
herself intellectual she read a great
deal used phonetic spelling called her
husband not Dimitri but dim me tree and
he secretly considered her unintelligent
narrow inelegant was afraid of her and
did not like to be at home he had begun
being unfaithful to her long ago had
been unfaithful to her often and
probably on that account almost always
spoke ill of women and when they were
talked about in his presence used to
call them the lower race it seemed to
him that he had been so schooled by
bitter experience
that he might call them what he liked
and yet he could not get on for two days
together without the lower race in the
Society of men he was bored and not
himself with them he was cold and
uncommunicative but when he was in the
company of women he felt free and knew
what to say to them and how to behave
and he was at ease with them even when
he was silent in his appearance in his
character in his whole nature there was
something attractive and elusive which
eluard women and disposed them in his
favour he knew that and some force
seemed to draw him to to them experience
often repeated truly bitter experience
had taught him long ago that with decent
people especially at Moscow people
always slow to move and irresolute every
intimacy which at first so agreeably
diversifies life and appears alight and
charming adventure inevitably grows into
a regular problem of extreme intricacy
and in the long run the situation
becomes unbearable but at every fresh
meeting with an interesting woman this
experience
seemed to slip out of his memory and he
was eager for life and everything seemed
simple and amusing one evening he was
dining in the gardens and the lady in
the beret came up slowly to take the
next table her expression her gait her
dress and the way she did her hair told
him that she was a lady that she was
married that she was in Yalta for the
first time and alone and that she was
dull there the stories told of the
immorality in such places as Yalta are
to a great extent untrue he despised
them and he knew that such stories were
for the most part made up by persons
would themselves have been glad to sin
if they had been able but when the lady
sat down at the next table three paces
from him he remembered these tales of
easy conquests of trips to the mountains
and the tempting thought of a swift
fleeting love affair a romance with an
unknown woman whose name he did not know
suddenly took possession of him he
beckoned coaxingly
to the Pomeranian and when the dog came
up to him he shook his finger at it the
Pomeranian growled Gurov shook his
finger at it again the lady looked at
him and at once dropped her eyes he
doesn’t bite she said and blushed may I
give him a bone he asked and when she
nodded he asked courteously have you
been long in the altar five days the
night I’ve already dragged out a
fortnight here there was a brief silence
time goes fast and yet it is thought
dull here she said not looking that’s
only the fashion to say it is dull here
a provincial will live in bill your
Fodor Jindra and not be dull and when it
comes here it’s oh the dullness oh the
dust
one would think he came from Grenada she
laughed then they both continued eating
in silence like strangers but after
dinner they walked side by side and
they’re spraying it between them the
light jesting conversation of people who
are free and satisfied to whom it does
not matter where they go or what they
talk about they walked and talked of the
strange light on the sea the waterer was
of a soft warm lilac hue and there was a
golden streak from the moon upon it they
talked of how sultry it was after a hot
day
gurov told her that he came from Moscow
that he had taken his degree in arts but
had a post in a bank that he had trained
as an opera singer but had given it up
that he owned two houses in Moscow and
from her he learned that she had grow up
in Petersburg but had lived in s since
her marriage two years before that she
was staying another part a month in
Yalta and that her husband who needed a
holiday - might perhaps come and fetch
her she was not sure whether her husband
had a post in the crown department or
under the Provincial Council and was
amused by her own ignorance and gurrah
phlearn - that she was called Anna
Sergeyevna afterwards he thought about
her in his room at the hotel thought she
would certainly meet him next day he
would be sure to happen as he got into
bed he thought how lately she had been a
girl at school doing lessons like his
own daughter he recalled the diffidence
the angularity that was still manifest
in her laugh and her manner of talking
with a stranger this must have been the
first time in her life she had been
alone in surroundings in which she was
followed looked at merely from a secret
motive which she could hardly fail to
guess he recalled her slender delicate
neck her lovely grey eyes there’s
something both etic about her anyway he
thought and went to sleep part two a
week had passed since they had made
acquaintance it was a holiday it was
sultry indoors followed the street the
wind whirled the dust round and round
and blew people’s hats off
it was a thirsty day and grew off often
went into the pavilion and pressed Anna
Sergeyevna to have syrup in water or a
nice one did not know what to do with
oneself in the evening when the wind had
dropped a little they went out on the
drawing to see the steamer come in there
were a great many people walking about
the harbour they had gathered to welcome
someone bringing bouquets and to
peculiarities of well dress Yalta
were very conspicuous the elderly ladies
were dressed like young ones and there
were great numbers of generals owing to
the roughness of the sea the steamer
arrived late after the Sun had set and
it was a long time turning about before
it reached the groin Anna Sergeyevna
looked through her long yet at the
steamer and the passengers is though
looking for acquaintances and when she
turned to guru off her eyes were shining
she talked a great deal and asked
disconnected questions forgetting next
moment what she had asked then she
dropped her long net in the crush the
festive crowd began to disperse it was
too dark to see people’s faces the wind
had completely dropped but guru from
Anna Sergeyevna
still stood as though waiting to see
someone else come from the steamer Anna
Sergeyevna was silent now and sniffed
the flowers without looking at gu off
the weather was better this evening he
said or shall we go now shall we drive
somewhere she made no answer then he
looked at her intently and all at once
put his arm around her and kissed her on
the lips and breathed in the moisture
and the fragrance of the flowers and he
immediately looked round him anxiously
wondering whether anyone had seen them
let’s go to your hotel he said softly
and both walked quickly the room was
closed and smelled too the scent she had
bought at the Japanese shop who off
looked at her and thought what different
people one meets in the world from the
past he preserved memories of careless
good natured women who loved cheerfully
and were grateful to him for the
happiness he gave them however brief it
might be and of women like his wife who
loved without any genuine feeling with
superfluous phrases a
hysterically with an expression that
suggested that it was not love nor
passion that something more significant
and of two or three others very
beautiful cold women on whose faces he
had caught a glimpse of rapacious
expression an obstinate desire to snatch
from life more than it could give and
these were capricious unreflecting
domineering on intelligent women not in
their first youth and when guru grew
cold to them their beauty excited his
hatred and the lace on their linen
seemed to him like scales but in this
case there was still the diffidence the
angular to her long hair T of
inexperienced youth an awkward feeling
and there was a sense of consternation
as though someone had suddenly knocked
at the door the attitude of UNASUR gave
now the lady with the dog to what had
happened was somehow peculiar very grave
as though it were her fall so it seemed
and it was strange and inappropriate her
face dropped and faded and on both sides
of it her long hair hung down mournfully
she mused in the dejected attitude like
the woman who was a sinner in an old
fashion the picture he thrown she said
you will be the first to despise me now
there was a watermelon on the table grew
off cut himself a slice and began eating
it without haste there followed a blur
of silence on the sergey apna was
touching there was about her the purity
of a good simple woman who had seen
little of life the solitary candle
burning on the table threw a faint light
on her face yet it was clear that she
was very unhappy how could I despise you
asked her off you don’t know what you’re
saying
God forgive me she said in her eyes
filled with tears he thoughtful you
seemed to feel you need to be forgiven
forgiven no I am a bad law woman I
despised myself and don’t attempt to
justify myself it’s not my husband but
myself I have deceived and not only just
now I have been deceiving myself for a
long time my husband may be a good
honest man but he is a flunky I don’t
know what he does there what heat work
is but I know he is a flunky I was 20
when I was married to him I have been
tormented by curiosity I wanted
something better there must be a
different sort of life I said to myself
I wanted to live to live to live I was
fired by curiosity you don’t understand
it but I swear to God I could not
control myself something happened to me
I could not be restrained I told my
husband I was ill and came here and here
I had been walking about as though I
were dazed like a mad creature and now I
have become a vulgar contemptible woman
whom anyone may despise mirov felt bored
already
listening to her he was irritated by the
naive tone by this remorse so unexpected
and inopportune but for the tears in her
eyes he might have thought she was
jesting or playing a part I don’t
understand he said softly what is it you
want
she hit her face on his breast and
pressed close to him believe me believe
me I beseech you she said I love a pure
honest life and seeing his love from to
me I don’t know what I am doing simple
people say the evil one has beguiled me
and I may say up myself now that the
evil one has beguiled me ash ash he
muttered he looked at her fists
ize histor talks softly and
affectionately and by degrees she was
comforted and her gaiety returned and
they both began laughing afterwards when
they went out there was not a soul on
the seafront the town with its cypresses
had quite a death like air but the sea
still broken oily on the shore a single
barge was rocking on the waves and a
lantern was blinking sleepily on it
they found a cab and drove to or yonder
I found out your surname in the hall
just now was written on the board Vong
dealer it’s said GU off your husband no
I believe his grandfather was a German
but he is an Orthodox Russian himself a
Tory andhe they sat on a seat not far
from the church looked down at the sea
and asylum the altar was hardly visible
through the morning mist white clouds
stood motionless on the mountaintops the
leaves did not stir on the trees
grasshoppers chirped
and the monotonous hollow sound of the
sea rising up from below spoke of the
Peace of the eternal sleep awaiting us
so it must have sounded when there was
no Yalta no or yonder here so it sounds
now and it will sound as indifferently
and monotonous ly when we are all no
more and in this constancy in this
complete indifference to the life and
death of each of us there lies hid
perhaps a pledge of our eternal
salvation of the unceasing movement of
life upon earth of unceasing progress
toward perfection sitting beside a young
woman who in the dawn seems so lovely
soothed and spellbound in these magical
surroundings the sea mountains clouds
the open sky guru fought how in reality
everything is beautiful in this world
when one reflects everything except
what we think or do ourselves when we
forget our human dignity and the higher
aims of our existence a man walked up to
them probably a keeper looked at them
and walked away and this detail seemed
mysterious and beautiful too
they saw a steamer come from Theodosia
with its lights out in the glow of dawn
theatres dew on the grass said anna
sergeyevna after silence hears it’s time
to go home they went back to town then
they met everyday at 12 o’clock on the
seafront lunched and dined together went
for walks admired the sea she complained
that she slept badly that her heart
throbbed violently asked the same
questions troubled now by jealousy and
now by the fear that he did not respect
her sufficiently and often in the square
or Gardens when there was no one near
them he suddenly drew her to him and
kissed her passionately complete
idleness these kisses in broad daylight
while he looked round in dread of
someone else’s seeing them the heat the
smell of the sea and the continual
passing to and fro before him of idle
well-dressed well-fed people made a new
man of him he told honor forgave now how
beautiful she was
how fascinating he was impatiently
passionate he would not move a step away
from her while she was often pensive and
continually urged him to confess that he
did not respect her did not love her in
the least and thought of her as nothing
but a common woman rather late almost
every evening they drove somewhere out
of town to orient to the waterfall and
the expedition was always a success
the scenery invariably impressed them as
grand and beautiful they were expecting
her husband to come but a letter came
from him saying that there was something
wrong with his eyes and he entreated his
wife
to come home as quickly as possible anna
sergeyevna made haste to go it’s a good
thing I’m going away she said to goo off
it’s the finger of destiny she went by
coach and he went with her
they were driving the whole day when she
had got into a compartment of the
Express and when the second Bell had
wronged she said let me look at you once
more look at you once again that’s right
she did not shed tears but was so sad
that she seemed ill and her face was
quivering I shall remember you think of
you she said God be with you be happy
don’t remember evil against me we are
parting forever it must be so for we opt
never to have met well God be with you
the Train moved off rapidly it’s light
soon vanished from sight in a minute
later there was no sound of it as though
everything had conspired together to end
as quickly as possible
that sweet delirium that madness left
alone on the platform and gazing into
the dark distance goo Rolfe listened to
the chirp of the grasshoppers and the
hum of the telegraph wires feeling as
though he had only just waked up and he
thought musing that there had been
another episode or adventure in his life
and it too was at an end and nothing was
left of it but a memory he was moved sad
and conscious of a slight remorse this
young woman whom he would never meet
again had not been happy with him he was
genuinely warm and affectionate with her
but yet in his manner his tone and his
caresses there had been a shade of light
irony the coarse condescension of the
happy man who was besides almost twice
her age all the time she had called him
kind exceptional lofty
obviously he had seemed to her different
from what he really was so he had
unintentionally deceived her here at the
station was already a scent of autumn it
was a cold evening his time for me to go
north
but ger off as he left the platform high
time part three at home in Moscow
everything was in its winter routine the
stoves were heated and in the morning it
was still dark when the children were
having breakfast and getting ready for
school and the nurse would light the
lamp for a short time the Frost’s had
begun already when the first snow has
fallen on the first day of sleigh
driving it is pleasant to see the white
earth the white roofs to draw a soft
delicious breath and the season brings
back the days of one’s youth the old
limes and birches quite with hoarfrost
have a good-natured expression they are
nearer to one’s heart than cypresses and
palms and near them one doesn’t want to
be thinking of the sea in the mountains
Maroof was Moscow born he arrived in
Moscow on a fine frosty day and when he
put on his fur coat and warm gloves and
walked along Petrovka and went on
Saturday evening he heard the ringing of
the bells his recent trip and the places
he had seen lost all charm for him
little by little he became absorbed in
Moscow life greedily read three
newspapers a day and declared he did not
read the Moscow papers on principle he
already felt a longing to go to
restaurants clubs dinner parties
anniversary celebrations and he felt
flattered at entertaining distinguished
lawyers and artists and at playing cards
with a professor at the doctors club he
can already eat a whole plate full of
salt fish and cabbage
in another month he fancied the image of
anna sergeyevna would be shrouded in a
mist in his memory and only from time to
time would visit him in his dreams with
a touching smile as others did but more
than a month past real winter had come
and everything was still clear in his
memory as though he had parted with
honor sergeyevna only the day before and
his memories glowed more and more
vividly when in the evening stillness he
heard from his study the voices of his
children preparing their lessons or when
he listened to a song or the organ at
the restaurant or the storm howl din the
chimney suddenly everything would rise
up in his memory what had happened on
the groin and the early morning with the
mist on the mountains and the steamer
coming from Theodosia
and the kisses he would pace a long time
about his room remembering it all and
smiling that his memories passed into
dreams and in his fancy the past was
mingled with what was to come
honor Sergeyevna did not visit him in
dreams but followed him about everywhere
like a shadow and haunted him when he
shut his eyes he saw her as though she
were living before him and she seemed to
him lovelier younger tenderer than she
was and he imagined himself finer than
he had been at Yalta in the evenings she
peeped out at him from the bookcase from
the fireplace from the corner he heard
her breathing the caressing rustle of
her dress in the street he watched the
women looking for someone like her he
was tormented by an intense desire to
confide his memories to someone but in
his home it was impossible to talk of
his love and he had no one outside he
could not talk to his tenants nor to
anyone at the bank
and wanted he to talk of had he been in
love then had there been anything
beautiful political or edifying or
simply interesting in his relations with
Anna Sergeyevna and there was nothing
for him but to talk vaguely of love of
woman and no one guessed what it meant
only his wife twitched her black
eyebrows and said the part of the
Ladykiller does not suit you at all
Dimitri one evening coming out of the
doctors club with an official with whom
he had been playing cards he could not
resist saying if only you knew what a
fascinating woman I made the
acquaintance of in Yalta the official
got into his sleigh and was driving away
but turned suddenly and shouted victory
Dmytryk what you will write this evening
the sturgeon was a bit too strong these
words saw ordinary for some reason moved
guru off to indignation and struck him
is degrading and unclean what savage
manner is what people what senseless
Knights what uninteresting uneventful
days the rage for card playing the
gluttony the drunkenness the continual
talk always about the same thing
useless pursuits and conversations
always about same things absorbed the
better part of one’s time the better
part of one’s strength and in the end
there is left a life groveling and
curtailed worthless and trivial there is
no escaping or getting away from it just
as though one were in a madhouse
more prison gurov did not sleep all
night and was filled with indignation
and he had a headache all next day and
the next night he slept badly he sat up
in bed thinking or paced up and down in
his room he was sick of his children
sick of the bank he
had no desire to go anywhere or talk of
anything in the holidays in December he
prepared for a journey and told his wife
he was going to Petersburg to do
something in the interests of a young
friend and he set off for s what for he
did not very well know himself he wanted
to see Anna Sergeyevna and to talk with
her to arrange meeting if possible
he reached s in the morning and took the
best room at the hotel in which the
floor was covered with grey army cloth
and on the table was an inkstand gray
with dust and adorned with a figure on
horseback with its hat in its hand and
its head broken off the hotel porter
gave him the necessary information von
dieter it’s lived in a house of his own
in Olga and Charney Street who was not
far from the hotel he was rich and lived
in good style and had his own horses
everyone in town knew him the porter
pronounced his name Dida Ritz Gaurav
went without haste too old on Charni
Street and found the house just opposite
the house stretched a long grey fence
adorned with nails one would run away
from a fence like that
thought go off looking from the fence to
the windows of the house and back again
he considered today was a holiday and
the husband would probably be at home
and in any case it would be tactless to
go into the house and upset her if he
were to send her a note it might fall
into her husband’s hands and then it
might ruin everything
the best thing was to trust to chance
and he kept walking up and down the
street by the fence waiting for the
chance he saw a beggar go in at the gate
and the dogs fly at him that an hour
later he heard a piano and the sounds
were faint and indistinct
probably he was onerous or gave now
playing the front door suddenly opened
and an old woman came out followed by
the familiar white Pomeranian wore off
was on the point of calling to the dog
but his heart began beating violently
and in his excitement he could not
remember the dog’s name he walked up and
down and loathed the grey fence more and
more and by now he thought irritably
that anna sergeyevna had forgotten him
and was probably already amusing herself
with someone else and and that that was
very natural in a young woman who had
nothing to look at from morning till
night but that confounded fence he went
back to his hotel room and sat for a
long while on the sofa not knowing what
to do then he had dinner and a long nap
all stupid and worrying it is a thought
when he woke and looked at the dark
windows it was already evening here I’ve
had a good sleep for some reason but
shall I do in the night he sat on the
bed which was covered by a cheap grey
blanket such as one sees in hospitals
and he taunted himself in his vexation
so much for the lady with the dog so
much for adventure here in a nice fix
that morning at the station a poster in
large letters caught his eye the Geisha
was to be performed for the first time
he thought of this and went to the
theatre it’s quite possible she may go
to the first performance he thought the
theater was full as in all provincial
theatres there was a fog above the
chandelier the gallery was noisy and
restless in the front row the local
dandies were standing up before the
beginning of the performance with her
hands behind them in the governor’s box
the governor’s daughter wearing a boa
was sitting in the front seat while the
governor himself looked modestly behind
the curtains with only his hands visible
the orchestra was a long time tuned
the stage curtain swayed all the time
the audience were coming in and taking
their seats her off looked at them
eagerly on a sergeyevna to came in she
sat down in the third row and when gurov
looked at her his heart contracted and
he understood clearly that for him there
was in the whole world
no creature so near so precious and so
important to him she this little woman
in no way remarkable lost in a
provincial crowd with a vulgar lure net
in her hand filled his whole life now
was his sorrow and his joy the one
happiness that he now desired for
himself and to the sounds of the
inferior Orchestra of the wretched
provincial violins he thought how lovely
she was he thought and dreamed a young
man was small side-whiskers tall and
stooping came in with anna sergeyevna
and sat down beside her he bent his head
at every step and seemed to be
continually bowing most likely this was
the husband whom at Yalta in a rush of
bitter feeling she had called a flunkey
and there really was in his long figure
his side whiskers and the small bald
patch on his head something of the
flunkies of C crea sness his smile was
sugary in his buttonhole there was some
badge of distinction like the number on
a waiter
during the first interval the husband
went away to smoke she remained alone in
her stall mirov who was sitting in the
stalls ii went up to her and said in the
trembling voice with a forced smile good
evening she glanced at him and turned
pale then glanced again with horror
unable to believe her eyes and tightly
gripped the fan in the lorne yet in her
hands evidently struggling with herself
not to faint both were silent
she was sitting he was standing
frightened by her confusion and not
venturing to sit down beside her the
violins and the flute began tuning up he
felt suddenly frightened it seemed as
though all the people in the boxes were
looking at them she got up and went
quickly to the door he followed her and
both walked senselessly along the
passages and up and down stairs and
figures in legal scholastic and civil
service uniforms all wearing badges
flitted before their eyes that caught
glimpses of ladies of fur coats hanging
on the pigs the drafts blew on them
bringing a smells stale tobacco
and goo off whose heart was beating
violently thought oh heavens why are
these people here in this Orchestra and
at that instant he recalled how when he
had seen anna sergeyevna off at the
station he had thought that everything
was over they would never meet again but
how far they were still from the end on
the narrow gloomy staircase over which
was written to the amphitheater
she stopped how you have frightened me
she said breathing hard
still pale overwhelmed oh how you have
frightened me
I am half dead why have you come why
but do understand Anna do understand he
said hastily in a low voice I entreat
you to understand she looked at him with
dread with entreaty with love she looked
at him intently to keep his features
more distinctly in her memory
I am so unhappy she went on not heeding
him I have thought of nothing but you
all the time I live only in the thought
of you and they wanted to forget to
forget you but why oh why have you come
on the landing above them to school boys
were smoking and looking down that was
nothing to go off
he drew on us or gave that to him and
began kissing her face her cheeks in her
hands how are you doing what are you
doing she cried in horror pushing him
away we are mad go away today cool I
wait once and he seats you for all the
DS sacred I implore you there are people
coming this way someone was coming up
the stairs you must go away Anna
Sergeyevna went on in a whisper who you
here to meet three dmitritch I will come
and see you in Moscow I have never been
happy I am miserable now and I never
never shall be happy never don’t make me
suffer still more I spent or come to
Moscow but now let us part
my precious good dear one we must part
she pressed his hand and began rapidly
going downstairs looking round at him
and from her eyes he could see that she
really was unhappy Gaurav stood for a
little while listened then one all sound
had died away
he found his coat and left the theatre
part 4 and honor' Sergeyevna began
coming to see him in Moscow once in 2 or
3 months she left s telling her husband
that she was going to consult a doctor
about an internal complaint and her
husband believed her and did not believe
her in Moscow she stayed the slaviansk e
bazaar hotel and it once sent a man in a
red cap to go off her off went to see
her and no one in Moscow knew of it once
he was going to see her in this way on a
winter morning the messenger had come
the evening before when he was out with
him walked his daughter whom he wanted
to take to school it was on the way snow
was falling in big wet flakes it’s 3
degrees above freezing point and yet it
is snowing said guru off to his daughter
the fall is only on the surface of the
earth there is quite a different
temperature at a great
height in the atmosphere and why are
there no thunderstorms in the winter
father he explained that too he talked
thinking all the while that he was going
to see her and no living soul knew of it
and probably never would know he had two
lives one open scene and known by all
who have cared to know full of relative
truth and of relative falsehood exactly
like the lives of his friends and
acquaintances in another life running
its course in secret and through some
strange perhaps accidental conjunction
of circumstances everything that was
essential of interest in a value to him
everything in which he was sincere and
did not deceive himself everything that
made the kernel of his life was hidden
from other people and all that was false
in him the sheath in which he hid
himself to conceal the truth such for
instance as his work in the bank his
discussions at the club his lower race
his presence with his wife at
anniversary festivities all that was
open and he judged of others by himself
not believing in what he saw and always
believing that every man had his real
most interesting life under the cover of
secrecy and under the cover of night all
personal life rested on secrecy and
possibly it was partly on that account
that civilized man was so nervously
anxious that personal privacy should be
respected after leaving his daughter at
school Gaurav went on to the slaviansk e
bazaar he took off his fur coat below
went upstairs and softly knocked at the
door Anna Sergeyevna wearing his
favorite gray dress exhausted by the
journey and the suspense had been
expecting him since the evening before
she was paid oh she looked at him and
did not smile and he had hardly come in
when she fell
his breasts their kiss was slow and
prolonged as though they had not met for
two years well are you getting on there
yes what news
wait I’ll tell you directly I can’t talk
she could not speak she was crying she
turned away from him and pressed her
handkerchief to her eyes let her have
her cry out I’ll sit down and wait he
thought and he sat down in an armchair
then he rang and asked for tea to be
brought him and while he drank his tea
she remained standing at the window with
her back to him
she was crying from emotion from the
miserable consciousness that their life
was so hard for them they could only
meet in secret hiding themselves from
people like thieves was not their life
shattered come do stop he said it was
evident to him that this level theirs
would not soon be over that he could not
see the end of it on a Sergey ofnot grew
more and more attached to him she adored
him and it was unthinkable to say to her
that it was bound to have an end someday
besides she would not have believed it
he went up to her and took her by the
shoulders to say something affectionate
and cheering and at that moment he saw
himself in the looking-glass his hair
was already beginning to turn gray and
it seemed strange to him that he had
grown so much older so much plainer
during the last few years the shoulders
on which his hands rested were warm and
quivering he felt compassion for this
life still so warm and lovely but
probably already not far from beginning
to fade and wither like his own why did
she love him so much he always seemed to
women different from what he was and
they loved in him not himself but the
man created
by their imagination whom they had been
eagerly seeking all their lives and
afterwards when they noticed their
mistake they loved him all the same and
not one of them had been happy with him
time passed he had made their
acquaintance got on with them parted but
he had never once loved it was anything
you like but not love and only now when
his head was gray he had fallen properly
really in love for the first time in his
life
Anna Sergeyevna and he loved each other
like people very close and akin like
husband and wife like tender friends it
seemed to them that fate itself had
meant them for one another and they
could not understand why he had a wife
and she a husband and it was as though
they were a pair of birds of passage
caught and forced to live in different
cages they forgave each other for what
they were ashamed of in their past they
forgave everything in the present and
felt that this love of theirs had
changed them both in moments of
depression in the past he had comforted
himself with any arguments that came
into his mind
but now he no longer cared for arguments
he felt profound compassion he wanted to
be sincere and tender don’t cry my
darling he said you’ve had your cry
that’s enough let us talk now let us
think of some plan then they spent a
long while taking counsel together
talked of how to avoid the necessity for
secrecy for deception for living in
different towns and not seeing each
other
for long at a time how could they be
free from this intolerable bondage oh
how he asked
clutching his head how and it seemed as
though in a WWE while while the solution
would be found and then a new and
splendid life would begin and it was
clear to both of them that they still
had a long long road before them and
that the most complicated and difficult
part of it was only just beginning