7 polite British insult idioms Politely call someone a total idiot
hello and welcome back to english with
Lucy today I’m going to talk to you
about seven idioms that you can use to
politely tell somebody that they are an
idiot so in simple terms idioms for
describing stupidity we brits like to
beat around the bush to avoid talking
about something unpleasant or
uncomfortable many of us live in
constant fear of offending people
however that does not mean that we won’t
throw in and under-the-table insult
disguised as a seemingly harmless
idiomatic phrase when we think that
you’re being a total buffoon so today
I’m going to teach you seven ways to
tell someone that they are a total idiot
without seeming too offensive quickly
before we get started this video is
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readers right let’s get on with this
stupid lesson number one he’s not the
sharpest tool in the shed if somebody is
not the sharpest tool in the shed
they’re a little bit stupid they’re not
the cleverest person it could have been
said about me actually when I was
invited on a YouTube trip to Berlin the
other day we’re in a lovely posh hotel
and I noticed that my hairdryer wasn’t
working so I called up room service and
I said they immediately came up and gave
me a new one I plugged the new one in
that one wasn’t working either so I
called up room service
working and I am really really socking
wet so they brought up a third one and
at that point they realized that I
hadn’t put the key card in the door so
none of the electricity was working
including the light at night I’m not the
sharpest tool in the shed
number two she’s one sandwich short of a
picnic
this means that somebody is not quite of
full intelligence it could have been
used to describe me actually when I
invited a plumber over to fit in a
dishwasher he texted me beforehand to
ask for some photos and he asked me if
there was a trap under my sink so it
opened the sink and I look inside and to
my amazement there is a mousetrap with a
lovely bright logo saying the words the
big cheese on it and I remember thinking
to myself how did he know that but
anyway I thought whatever took a picture
sent it to the plumber and he just came
back with like a million lock on paper
and he said no Lucy the trap that I’m
asking about is a type of pipe a water
pipe can I have a picture of that please
so yes I can sometimes be one sandwich
short of a picnic also I think in
America they might say one french fry
short of a happy meal or one fry short
of a happy meal
that’s mcdonald’s reference if there are
any Americans watching this please
comment down below and confirm that to
me number three means almost exactly the
same as the previous one it is to not be
a full ticket if somebody isn’t a full
ticket it means they’re not clinically
sane so be careful when using it make
sure that you don’t offend anyone it
could have been used to describe me
actually I think my mother thought that
I wasn’t the full ticket I’m one holiday
at my grandparents holiday home in
Portugal I walked through the mosquito
nets on the door no less than three
times and they had to put up special
stickers for me which remain there to
this day so there are special stickers
for Lucy because she’s not clever enough
to just use a mosquito net properly so
yes not the full ticket number four
there’s not much between the ears and if
you say that there’s not much between
the ears
that somebody hasn’t got much of a brain
this could have been said about me
actually when I was forced to go to a
week-long violin camp violin camp on day
two I couldn’t go on any longer I had to
leave so I devised a plan I would gently
maim or injure myself but how would I do
it ah the bathroom door was particularly
aggressive swinging both ways at a 180
degree angle
I planned to gently catch my finger in
that door exaggerate the pain so I was
no longer able to play my violin and
therefore be sent home as I got my
finger ready near the door somebody else
needed the loo and they came through and
they injured my finger so badly that I
had to go to hospital and to this day I
have a messed up fingernail but like
break it’s just not right so yes not
much in between the ears number 5 the
light is on but nobody’s home
this means they look normal but really
they’re very stupid this could have been
said about me actually when aged 9 and
showing off in front of a group of
younger children jumped off the top of a
wooden castle in a playground got the
back of my jumper stuck on one of the
spikes and was left there dangling until
one of those annoying little children
ran to call my dad it was so
embarrassing and so stupid the lights
are on but nobody’s home number 6 it’s a
saying someone’s village is missing
their idiot and this one comes from the
term the village idiot which is used to
describe someone known locally for their
stupidity
canapé used to describe me actually two
days after passing my driving test I
went into a nearby city to buy my
beloved new shiny orange Mini Cooper and
when I drove out of the dealership for
the very first time after just 100
metres I stalled at around about put the
gearstick
into reverse and shut back at full force
into the car behind me obliterating his
license plate it was dreadful the police
came I had to be escorted away but
luckily my mother was two cars behind me
because oh my god if she had been in
that car behind me there would have been
trouble so yes on that day the village
was missing their idiot the idiot being
me number seven the last idiom to
describe a stupidity is as thick as a
plank and if you are as thick as a plank
you’re really stupid it could’ve been
used to describe me actually when on the
school bus
aged about 12 to 13 I found a mobile
phone and I open the mobile phone and I
found some very inappropriate images of
the owner of the phone images and videos
shall we say it was a man I’ve never
seen anything like that before
so I did what any school girl would do
and I took the videos and I sent them
directly from the phone to my best
friend Felicity it was a hilarious joke
I went into school and I acted like I
knew nothing to felicitate she was
really scared brilliant I thought my
cheeky prank has worked she then told me
that she’d gone to the headmistress of
the school and the school had called the
police and they were on their way in to
interview everyone I knew what I had to
do I ran in my little tartan kilt to the
headmistress and said no it was me I
then had to spend the rest of the day
with the police explaining what I’d done
why I’d done it and having them
explained to me why it was so awful all
the while I was begging them not to tell
my parents and in the end they didn’t
which I really appreciated and I
actually told my parents about it on my
21st birthday dinner that yeah I thought
it was gonna be hilarious but the police
just didn’t have any sort of sense of
humor right that’s it for today’s lesson
I hope you enjoyed it I hope you learned
something please if you now doubt my
intelligence you can unsubscribe but you
really are welcome to I would
and I invite you to comment below with
any embarrassing situations that have
happened to you or any other idioms that
you know of that means stupid in English
you can also let me know about idioms in
your own language and translate them
into English because some of them are so
funny I mean a sandwich short of a
picnic that is that particularly tickles
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and I will see you soon for another
Essen yeah today it is very hot very
very hot I’m dying oh my god are in a
lovely posh hotel and I called up Aroon
sir rune why am i saying rune runescape
are in a lovely posh hotel and I called
up runescape no okay no special stickers
for Lucy because she say hello to the
English Lucy
you