Better English Conversations Do this to improve your Speaking Skills
Hello! I’m Emma. I am from mmmEnglish.
In this lesson, you will be taught how to improve your
conversation skills.
Wait, wait, wait. Let me try that again.
Hey there I’m Emma from mmmEnglish.
In this video I’m going to help you to have better
English conversations by giving you a few tips
to help you improve your speaking skills.
Now you can use these tips to have really interesting,
fun conversations
and if you’re someone who likes getting to know people
and if you want to improve your English
by having longer, more meaningful conversations
then this lesson is for you.
I’ve also put together a really fun challenge
and I’m going to tell you all about it at the end of this video
so make sure you keep watching.
And remember to like the video, hit that subscribe button.
Let’s get into it!
Before we talk about how to be more interesting in conversations,
I want to take just a minute to talk about how you can make
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Have you ever been part of a conversation with someone
where it feels like they just can’t wait to leave?
You know they’re looking around
like they want to run away or what’s happening outside
the window is way more interesting than what you’re saying.
Maybe there’s a lot of
sighing.
Oh my goodness, it is so uncomfortable
but whose fault is this?
Do you remember at the beginning of this video?
Let’s recap.
Hello, I’m Emma.
I am from mmmEnglish.
That was all my fault.
It was pretty dull. Did you notice that I used
more formal language when I spoke?
I said hello instead of my usual hey
and I added some unnecessary pauses instead of just
allowing the sentence to flow.
I used the passive voice instead of the active voice.
My tone was flat and monotonous and I had little facial expression
but when I changed the greeting to something more relaxed
and conversational, the mood completely changed, didn’t it?
It went from being stiff and formal to being relaxed and fun.
When I changed from a passive voice to an active voice
it helped you to feel more involved
like we were going to be doing this, working on this together
and we are.
All of these are really small subtle changes but they can make a
big difference when you’re speaking.
So I’m going to show you a few common phrases, maybe a little
dull phrases and responses
and then give you a few tips on how you can
improve them, how you can make your conversations
more engaging, fun
and help people to really love speaking with you.
So a really common question, one that you have to answer
all the time is “How are you?” but if you respond with
“I’m fine”
Well you’re not really making anyone want to hang around and talk
with you, right? So a better way to respond might be
“I’m great, thanks!
I went to the spa today and had a lovely time. How about you?”
But why is the second response so much better?
I’ll tell you.
It is so hard to have a good conversation with someone
if you are responding with just two words
and these two words are said so often
there is nothing interesting or inspiring about the conversation
and no desire to continue right? But remember,
our goal is to have great English conversations.
You want to invite that person to keep speaking with you.
I also added some extra details and asked a follow-on question
which gives them a chance to respond to you. I also used a really
easy going friendly tone, I had a smile on my face.
It gets the conversation off to a great start.
All right what about those times when someone tells you about
something that they’ve done, something really fun
and you do think that it’s great. So you probably know,
you’ve got heaps of responses up your sleeve. You could say
“That’s cool”
“Well that’s nice”
But then they look at you and the conversation sort of
dies down a little.
You didn’t really say anything wrong but
maybe they were hoping you were more enthusiastic
and don’t forget you really did think their story was great
so perhaps a better thing to say might be
“Ahh, that’s wonderful. When did you start doing that?”
So why shouldn’t you say that’s cool or that’s nice
or that’s good but they’re just words that are used way too often.
They can be used for almost anything.
People get a little bit bored of hearing them.
So in this case because you were so impressed or you were so
interested or excited about what they had to say,
we’ve got to level up our language to help show that
enthusiasm.
You want to use more interesting adjectives like
incredible, wonderful
or my favourite that I use all the time is epic.
Now epic is a little more casual than the other options but
it really does help to show your enthusiasm.
Now with all of these responses
we want to make sure you’ve got a positive enthusiastic tone,
you’re excited, right?
So get ready to practise after me.
Wow! That’s incredible! When did you start doing that?
Nicely said!
Okay so imagine this.
You’re sitting down with your colleague at lunch and you can’t
wait to tell them about this crazy dream that you’ve had.
You start talking about the dungeons and the dragons and the
frogs with wings and fairies that barked but then you notice
they’re actually staring off into the distance and they’re not really
interested at all. I mean, you’ve been talking about this in a great
amount of detail for maybe five minutes now.
But they’re not really paying any attention.
All right so if you want to have a great conversation with someone,
telling them a long story about your crazy wild dream is probably
not gonna help you get there. It’s better to keep your story short
and to involve them in some way.
Ask for their opinion about it, get them in on the discussion.
I dreamt about barking fairies last night. It was a little strange.
What do you think it means?
Easy, right?
I mean, they probably won’t know what it means but
at least you’re not having a one-sided conversation.
You’re inviting them in
and that is one of the keys to incredible conversations.
Imagine your flatmate has just told you about
the long day that they’ve had. They seem really down,
perhaps a little tired. So you say
“Don’t worry, just be positive!”
Now I know that you have good intentions with this
but it is a phrase that is used so often,
so often it can kind of seem a little insensitive.
So instead you could say something like
“That sounds like an exhausting day.
Is there anything that I can do to help?”
So the first part of the response expresses empathy, it lets
them know that you understand how they’re feeling
and of course,
showing empathy can get someone to open up more.
It lets them know that you care.
When you want to ask about someone’s day you might simply say
“How are you?” or “How’s it going?”
But you could also try mixing it up a little bit.
Did you have a good day?
I mean people are so accustomed to hearing “How are you?”
that they respond without thinking.
How are you?
I’m fine.
Good, thanks. How are you?
But remember our goal here is great conversations
and making sure our conversation keeps going.
So even if we just change the words a little bit and we
add something a bit more inquisitive, an upbeat tone
then they’ll probably change the way that
they respond to you as well.
Hey Emma! How you going?
I’m fine, thanks. And you?
I’m fine too.
Hey Emma! Have you had a good day so far?
Yeah I had a great day! I went to the beach for a swim
and then I’ve just finished meeting with the mmmEnglish design
team about our new website. How about you?
All right, now I’ve got a little challenge for you.
You’re going to hear
three different contexts or different examples of things that people
might say to you and I want you to think about
the best way to respond in order to keep the conversation going.
Try to think of
fun, interesting and engaging ways to continue the conversation.
Ready?
So your friend asks you about a movie that you saw last night.
It was a movie that you absolutely loved
and you really enjoyed the acting.
What kind of thing could you say?
So I might say:
It was fantastic! I really loved the actors.
So when someone asks you a question like this,
try to change up the words that you use.
Give a little bit more detail to keep things interesting.
Now imagine your friend tried skydiving for the first time.
What would you say to them when they told you
about what they did over the weekend?
I’d say:
That’s epic! What was it like?
Now the word epic is way cooler than cool.
It’s not said as often so it’s more fun and engaging and meaningful
and asking that follow-on question helps to keep the conversation
going, doesn’t it?
Okay how about this scenario?
Your friend has just told you that they received a low score
on their IELTS test. What would you say?
I’d say:
IELTS exams are so tough.
I’m sure many people feel the same way.
What can I do to help you feel better?
When a friend is feeling down or they’ve had some bad luck,
showing empathy and offering to help
shows them that you’re listening,
it also invites the conversation to keep going, right?
Definitely don’t show up telling them what they should have done
or how they could have done it better.
That’s not very helpful at all.
So that’s five boring, dull expressions out the window and
five new phrases and tips to keep your conversations going,
to keep them interesting.
I hope that this video helps you to have longer, more meaningful,
more interesting conversations in English.
And if you want to keep building your vocabulary to have these
great conversations then these videos right here
will help you to do exactly that.
Make sure you hit subscribe and I will see you in the next lesson.
Bye for now!