How to Say No and Reject in English

think it’s recording hi everybody and

welcome back to our weekly

live stream my name is alicia and in

this week’s lesson we are going to talk

about

how to say no and decline or reject

offers and invitations and generally how

to say no

in a polite way also i’m going to talk

about the differences between

decline reject and refuse in this lesson

so i hope it helps answer some questions

for you and i hope you are able

to get some good ways to politely

say no to people uh as well as

uh be able to understand when someone is

saying no

to you in a polite way so as you join

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yeah

all right let’s take a look today’s

lesson topic

is saying no yeah how to say no politely

i hope and how to reject or decline

offers here’s our topic our flow for

today

we are going to talk about basic no

vocabulary and

saying no to invitations then we’ll talk

about declining offers and the

differences

between decline reject and refuse then

we’ll talk about how to reject

things and people how to do these things

nicely how to be kind in

the ways that you do these things they

can be very sensitive

so let’s begin let’s start

uh with just basic no vocabulary how do

we say

no in english of course we have no right

so no we have no we have no thanks we

have no thank you

this is the most polite one of these so

no is good for friends and family

no thanks it’s good for your colleagues

your co-workers your classmates maybe

no thank you it’s for someone you don’t

know

so well then we have these very

very very very casual ones you might not

know

this one is nah nah

so very casual you might hear na

as well too there are a couple ways to

pronounce this nah

this one nope nope this one’s kind of

funny

sounding so this one sounds very very

casual very rough i like to use this one

to be a little bit

funny and there’s this one no way

no way way is an emphasis word it’s like

saying

extremely no very much no

so no way okay so here’s some basic

no vocabulary maybe you know some other

words

as well but how do we use this

and make polite sentences or polite

expressions

to express that we don’t want something

how do we do this nicely so let’s begin

with saying no to an

invitation saying no to an invitation

for example your friend invites you

to a movie or your friend invites you to

go to the park

you get an invitation a casual

invitation

from your friend but you cannot go

or maybe you don’t want to go how do you

express that what should you do

okay so you could use this one this one

sounds a little bit

too formal for a close friend but

maybe if your co-worker invites you to

something you can use this

thank you for the invitation but

i already have plans thank you for the

invitation but i already have plans

of course you can say thanks for the

invitation but i already have plans

please notice in this sentence i have

not used

no a no word right so we express we

appreciate the other person thank you

for the invitation

but however but

i already have plans you can be specific

then i already have plans i’m meeting

another friend on that day or

i’m going to see my family on that day

or i have to work

something like that it’s common to give

the reason

or to explain your plans a little bit

okay all right so you can use this with

maybe co-workers this would be good

co-workers or maybe someone you’re not

super close to thanks for the invitation

but i already have plans

or this one to a party for example

thanks for

inviting me but i can’t make it

i can’t make it maybe some of you know

this expression to make it

somewhere means to come to attend

something i can’t make it i can’t come

in other words thanks for inviting me

so here sometimes people make a mistake

between this

to invite the verb form and invitation

the noun yeah so please don’t get this

mixed up

like thanks for invitation not correct

not correct thanks for the invitation

okay good but don’t forget verb form

noun form okay thanks for inviting me

but i

can’t make it okay good

all right i’m looking for some of your

examples now

uh image screen sorry i hope i said that

right on facebook says uh thank you for

your invitation but i already have

plan close make sure to use this s at

the end i already have plans

i already have plans we always use this

one we don’t really say i already have a

plan

we say i already have plans

okay good good good okay uh let’s go to

this

formal one okay this formal one is

really really long it looks

kind of scary maybe let’s break this

formal one down

let’s say for example you at your job

or maybe at your studies you receive a

formal invitation

like to attend a conference or maybe

to attend an event or maybe to speak at

the conference or to speak at the event

either way it’s a formal situation so

how do you say no to that let’s look at

this

i greatly appreciate the invitation

i greatly appreciate the invitation but

i’m afraid i will be unable

to attend due to a scheduling

conflict so again this last part but

i’m afraid i will be unable

to attend due to a scheduling

conflict okay at native speed this

sentence sounds like

i greatly appreciate the invitation but

i’m afraid i’ll be unable to attend due

to a scheduling conflict

okay what does this mean this means

thank you but

i can’t come i have plans that’s what

this means but it’s a very

formal way to say this i greatly

appreciate the invitation means

thank you thank you for inviting me

right but

but i’m afraid so this i’m afraid

this is a formal way to say i’m sorry

right i’m sorry

or there’s this other thing i have to do

this is a very nice way to say

like to introduce a refusal

for something okay i’m afraid i

will be unable you might also see

someone say

i am unable to attend both are okay

i’m unable to attend or i will be unable

to attend

you might see both of these patterns

okay i will be unable to attend

due to due to this due

to noun phrase means because because

of something right this is introducing

the reason yeah

unable to attend so to come due to

a scheduling conflict scheduling

conflict means

in my schedule there’s more than one

thing conflict means fight

yeah so a scheduling conflict means more

than one thing in my schedule

at the same time they’re fighting for my

time

so i cannot come that’s what this means

so this means the same thing

as this exactly the same thing it’s just

more formal yeah

okay so here are some examples to say no

to an invitation i’m going to look at

your examples

in the chat um charles pelleart says

what i don’t know about that do you mean

as a response to an invitation or this

sentence

okay alfredo ledesma on facebook says

will be unable to

show up good question show up sounds too

casual this is a formal invitation so to

show up

we use in more casual conversations we

would not use

show up in this case okay lamiba

what means unable unable uh this word

right here

able means we can do something yeah

means not right so this means

not able to do something or i cannot

do this thing unable to attend

so i can’t come that’s what this means

just in a formal man

okay uh night says schedule pronounced

as schedule or

schedule i an american english speaker i

say

schedule schedule you might i guess hear

some people say

schedule but that’s not how i say it and

thou

i think most american english speakers

don’t say it

okay uh upon dinwang hello

says can we use because of instead of

due to ah

here like i’m afraid i will be unable to

attend because of

a scheduling conflict yeah sure no

problem good

that sounds nice okay uh other ones

other ones are the ones

yeah lots of people a couple people

rizki wiera says why

do instead of because yeah this

due to due to sounds a little more

professional it sounds a little more

polite

so that’s why i used do to in this

example sentence

because of is also 100 correct but if

you want to make your sentence a little

professional you can use this due to

something something

okay due to oh shirley says can i say

schedule conflict ah here instead of

scheduling conflict

i’ll be unable to attend due to a

schedule conflict yes

also okay also okay the key point here

is this is a noun phrase

yeah it’s a schedule conflict and you’ll

also see scheduling conflict

as well both are used no problem

a r j rule islam says can i say

owing to i will be unable to attend

owing to a scheduling conflict hmm

i suppose so i feel like that’s not

as commonly used but you might see

something like that

i personally probably would not use

owing to

there but maybe you would see that okay

uh other points um kesha blimbu says

thanks for inviting me in your party but

i can’t join sorry

very close when you want to express that

thank you thank you for the invitation

thanks for inviting me to your event

thanks for inviting me

to your party your preposition should be

two

there not in yeah okay

good let’s go to the next part great

questions everybody thanks very much for

your

example sentences and ideas let’s take a

very very short break

and then we’ll go to part two uh talking

about declining

uh and rejection and refusal what is the

difference between us so

very quickly what are we going to do

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uh declining things how do we decline

things okay let’s go to part two also

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all right let’s go so let’s talk now

about declining offers declining offers

we talked about

invitations yeah someone invites you

to an event invites you to a party now

let’s talk about offers declining

an offer so what’s an offer for example

like a

job offer like would you like this job

or when you’re shopping

would you like this product how do you

say no

in those situations all right let’s look

thank you but it’s not what i’m looking

for right now

thank you but it’s not

what i’m looking for right now this it

this

is the reduced form yeah it is

this means your offer so this could be a

job offer

this could be a product or whatever you

want to express

thank you but this is your offer

is not what i’m looking for right now

so that means that’s very nice thank you

but that’s not for me

at this time not for me right now okay

so maybe you get a job offer that seems

okay

pretty good but you think i could do a

little better i want to research a

little more and i’m pretty sure

this is not for me you can say thank you

but it’s not what i’m looking for

right now okay cool

then this next one let’s go to this next

one

very short yeah this is one you can use

when you’re

shopping this is really a really short

expression

i’m okay thanks i’m okay thanks

what is this so i have here use when

shopping yeah

so for example when you go shopping you

go to a mall

or to like a market or something like

that

and often staff or the people in the

market area

they’ll ask you like for example can i

help you or

what do you think of this product or

like they may be introducing you

to things they may say especially in

english speaking stores can i help you

find anything

so they’re offering you their help right

when you don’t want the product or you

don’t want their help you’re just

looking

i’m okay thanks i’m okay it’s also okay

i’m okay thank you

that shows nope i’m good i’m fine you

can also use those expressions if it’s a

more casual shop

if it’s a more casual situation so when

you’re shopping you can just say

i’m okay thanks when staff ask if you

need help or if you’re

interested in a product okie dokie

cool okay let’s go to another

formal example another formal example so

again we start this let’s imagine again

this is a job offer maybe uh maybe a

very

high level job offer or a very serious

job offer

and you need to say no to this maybe you

accepted something else whatever

how do you say no thank you very much

again we always start with thank you to

be polite thank you very much

but i have to decline

i have to decline you might also see

thank you but i must decline

so this have to makes it sound like you

have some responsibility to decline

yeah like maybe you don’t want to but

it’s your responsibility

so after this you might in many cases

include a reason like thank you very

much for the offer

but i have to decline i accepted a

different offer

so in this case in a formal case you

should probably include

a reason for it okay thank you but

i have to decline okay

daiyu wisely on facebook youtube says

how about

no need no need uh no need you could

maybe use

in this casual shopping situation um

but we use no need more in everyday life

like when someone when someone we know

offers to do something for us like your

uh your brother or sister or your family

member says hey

i’ll help you with your homework you

could say ah no need i got it

like you could use it in a casual

situation

like that with someone you know it

sounds

for me it sounds a little too close to

use with shopping staff but maybe some

people

are okay that might be my preference

okay other questions i don’t see others

okay cool

so thank you very much but i have to

decline okay

now let’s talk about these three words

i’ve used these words in today’s lesson

already but let’s talk about the

differences because i know

in many learners languages these words

are maybe the same or

extremely similar so how do we

understand the differences

in english let’s talk about reject

to reject something to reject

something means to not accept

to not accept or to not believe

something so to not accept or to not

believe something

usually because it’s not good enough

or it’s not what you want so it’s not

good enough or it’s not what you want

for example someone says would you like

a drink and you say

no you rejected that right you

it’s not what you want you rejected the

drink

right you said no you did not accept

something

this is to reject to reject

okay decline to decline something

means to politely refuse

to accept something you politely refuse

so in the same situation

someone offers you a drink you can say

no thank you

i’m okay you decline the drink so

decline

sounds more formal than reject than to

reject something it sounds more polite

you are more polite in your expression

okay finally to refuse

to refuse means to not

agree to do something to not agree

to do something or to not accept

something

to not accept something so the key here

to not agree to

do something so for example

i might i might refuse to help my friend

with their project oh

so i might say no i’m not going to do

that

we say she refused to do that

so refuse means to not agree to

an action okay

all right oh my gosh time’s going

quickly so we’ve covered how to decline

offer now in part three we’re going to

focus

on how to reject things to reject things

this can be really really insensitive

because that thing or that person is

not good enough or it’s not what you

want so this one is really

important to understand how to do

politely and with a bit of

sensitivity okay let’s go

so let’s go to part three first

let’s talk about how to reject some

thing some thing so let’s not talk about

people yet

how do we reject some thing

let’s use the example situation

of a restaurant first so you go to a

restaurant

maybe you order a dessert okay

it comes to your table and you see it

and you’re like

um really this thing

you can express that with this isn’t

what i had in mind at native speed this

sounds like this isn’t what i had in

mind

so what does this mean this so this

thing

this is not what i had in mind

in mind that means in my mind so this is

not what i imagine

i did not expect this in other words

this isn’t what i had in mind

so this is kind of a soft way to express

that reality and your imagination

were very different yeah this isn’t what

i had in mind

so maybe you say to the person you’re

with like yeah you eat this i don’t want

this

this isn’t what i had in mind so you can

reject something

that way you can also say

very directly this isn’t what

i wanted this isn’t what i wanted

use this or something similar when you

go to a restaurant

you order something a you order item a

but sometimes item b comes right

sometimes

something you did not order arrives you

might say

this isn’t what i wanted or this isn’t

what i ordered in this case so you

reject that thing he said

no i didn’t order that or i don’t want

this

this isn’t mine so you can use something

this sentence this isn’t what i wanted

okay all right next one i

don’t like this i don’t like this

so this one is very direct and depending

on your tone of voice it can be

very aggressive too so you can use this

for food or drinks

or some situation that you do not like

hmm

i don’t like this that means you do not

want to

accept it you do not want to accept it

okay

i don’t like this then

one more i think this could be improved

i think this could be improved this is

another really

soft way to express you

don’t like something now but you think

in the future it could become better

so this is a great one to use at work

so for example if you come to a

brainstorming meeting you’re in a

meeting

everybody is sharing some ideas you

talk about one idea everybody is

interested in

and you say um i think this could be

improved

that’s a way to say i don’t really like

it now let’s work on it together

yeah i think this could be improved and

in red here

a key point with these and

depending on the situation it’s a good

idea to

suggest a solution try to be

constructive don’t just complain or

reject

no no no no no try to suggest a solution

especially if you’re talking with

someone important in your life

your co-workers your colleagues uh maybe

your friends

try to suggest a solution don’t be just

the problem don’t just point out problem

problem problems try to find a solution

or suggest an idea yeah okay

cool all right uh okay so

let’s move on now to a very very

sensitive topic

rejecting someone so rejecting a person

rejecting a person so this can this is

very common

in like dating and relationships but

also

in job situations yeah job or in

university situations

how do you tell an interview candidate

they did not

get the job for example okay so let’s

talk about this

so first i marked with hearts here

so these are expressions that we use in

dating like romantic relationships so

when uh

when you’ve met a person a couple times

and you’re like

um i don’t think this is what i’m

looking for

how do you express that right how do you

be polite about it

and keep their feelings in mind and but

also

express your feelings how do you do that

this one

is a classic this is a classic one

it’s not you it’s me it’s not you

it’s me that means the problem here is

not

you you’re great i think you’re great

the problem

is me so i’m looking for something else

i need to focus on something else in my

life right now

so this is a very very common

way to end a relationship or to kind of

walk away for a while it’s not you it’s

you’re not the problem i am the problem

i have something else i need to do right

now

okay all right then here’s another one

i think we’re looking for different

things

i think we’re looking for different

things so if you realize

you want something a from your romantic

relationship

and the other person wants something b

from your romantic relationship you

might go oh

we don’t have a match so i think we’re

looking for different things

and that’s okay so i think we’re looking

for different things

that’s a way to show maybe this is not a

good idea

and here’s another one sometimes it

happens

your friend wants to go on a date with

you or your friend

expresses some romantic feelings for you

but maybe you think oh this person is my

friend what should i do

oh no i want i want to keep a good

relationship

you can try something like this i see

you as

a friend so this cu means i consider

you or i think about you as

a friend i see you as a friend so this

shows

this is my understanding this is how i

understand our relationship

i see you as a friend okay

all right uh okay let’s go to our last

one oh my gosh i’m late let’s go to the

last one then

uh this one in this example i was

thinking of a job interview situation so

a job

interview situation with a few

candidates yeah so candidate means

the person applying for the job the

people that go to the interview

they send the applications so how do you

express that someone did not get the job

okay here’s one example thank you for

your time

but we’ve decided to choose

a different candidate thank you for your

time but we’ve decided to choose a

different candidate

like you might he the explanation the

the

reason is sometimes very long like your

qualifications and your skills were

excellent

but we were looking for this thing we

really wanted this we prioritized this

in our decision someone also in the chat

earlier

used the expression we regret to inform

you

that’s a very formal way of saying we

are very sorry to tell you this

so we regret to inform you we decided to

choose a different

candidate that might be another way an

organization chooses to tell you that

you did not receive a job or that you

were not

accepted to a university for example

okay

all right um all right i’m very late i

have to wrap it up now

uh okay i don’t see any