English Conversation Skill Secrets THIS is what GREAT speakers do
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hello everyone and welcome back to
english with Lucy today I have a video
for you on conversation and how to be an
amazing conversation partner all of this
is what amazing speakers do what amazing
conversation lists do I think we should
get straight into it the first tip I
have for you is ask hypothetical
questions you might notice a trend here
we are going to be trying to avoid
yes/no questions they are the devil when
it comes to starting conversations and
maintaining good conversations asking
hypothetical questions and talking about
imaginary scenarios and situations is a
really good way of getting to know
someone better and getting them to open
up as well and it’s not too difficult to
do even if you aren’t very advanced at
English all you have to learn is the
conditional tenses maybe I should make a
video on the conditionals let me know if
you’d like one but really good questions
are questions like if you could have any
job in the world
what would it be that’s a really good
one because you get to know someone’s
biggest desires and they get to really
open up to you so for example if you
were to ask me that question if I could
have any job in the world what would it
be I would say I would love to be a
reconstructive plastic surgeon
that is what I always wanted to do
unfortunately have to go through the
whole medicine route which wasn’t quite
for me but I wanted to help people
rebuild their faces after accidents and
trauma fun fact about me or another
question if you won the lottery what
would you do what would you buy first
that’s a good one so if you ask me that
what would I do if I won the lottery and
the first thing would be to pay off my
parents mortgage and then I would go
about doing secret deeds I wouldn’t tell
anyone
I’d won the lottery but make sure that
the money goes to good places this
brings us on to our next point our next
tip which is to emphasize similarity so
you could respond to some of the things
I’ve said and emphasize how similar we
are because we like people who are like
us emphasizing similarity improves
social relations and in fact sales
people use this a lot and they do it in
physical ways as well it’s a known
technique that salespeople will mimic
hand gestures and body language and that
can actually improve sales without the
buyer even realizing it now we don’t
want to do that we’re not necessarily
salespeople well you might be saying you
can use that but when we are having a
conversation we want to find points of
connection points of mutual interest if
you hear your conversation partner say
something that you really relate with or
that you can add to you need to let them
know so for example with that first
hypothetical question about if I could
have any job what would I do if that
related to you at all you could say
phrases like yes I totally agree with
you or we’re really similar on that or
we think similarly on that or I’m on the
same page as you
those are really good phrases you can
use to show connection and the fact that
you are similar to someone now the next
tip tip number three is slightly strange
but it’s really important it is to be
aware of the sounds that you make whilst
you are thinking now you might not be
totally aware of the sounds you make
whilst you’re thinking and more
importantly how different they are in
different cultures in some cultures and
in some languages it’s totally and
utterly normal to make really loud open
mouth sounds when you were thinking of
something and I noticed this in Spain I
lived and taught in Spain for quite a
while I had a Spanish partner I lived
with his Spanish family I really did
integrate into Spain
Society and one thing that surprised me
at the beginning was the sounds they
make when they think and it was
something like this hey it’s just so
different to what we do I think in
British culture it’s considered rude to
have your mouth open in front of someone
it’s not like a written rule but in
general we’re very very conscious of
eating with our mouths closed of not
talking with food in our mouths and just
not going so when we are thinking we are
more likely to say with our mouth closed
so we still make that sound we still
take that thinking time let me know in
the comments below what sort of sound
and mouth shape you use in your language
and culture when you are taking a break
in a conversation and thinking and then
maybe think about tweaking that if
you’re going to be speaking to native
British people or Americans as well just
English speakers in general because it’s
different to us we would be maybe
slightly surprised if someone went hey
now tip number four this is another one
about filling in gaps but it’s a more
general one it is improve fluency to
avoid having gaps it can be really
embarrassing and frustrating when you
keep getting stuck mid conversation it’s
something that all language learners are
scared of a great way of improving your
English conversation skills is to aim
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it goes right number five this is a tip
that I wish I had learnt a long long
time ago it’s useful for you as learners
of English and it’s also useful for
native speakers of English it is be
sensible with how you word potentially
sensitive questions so imagine I ask
someone how is your job at Google going
and they respond with I was fired thanks
for asking or what do you do for work
and they respond with I’m employed and
desperately searching ah it’s such an
awkward situation when you ask someone a
question trying to make positive
conversation and they just knock you
down
and it puts a downer on the whole
conversation and it makes you feel bad
and it makes them feel negatively
towards you now there are good ways of
rewording these questions so that it
gives people some escape room ways to
avoid difficult topics so instead of
asking someone how’s your job going you
could say something like fill me in on
your life since I love
saw you or catch me up on what’s
happened since I’ve last seen you if you
asked to be filled in or you asked to be
caught up that’s a good way of asking
someone to update you on everything
that’s going on or instead of asking
something like what do you do for work
what is your job what do you do for a
living you could ask a more general
question like so what keeps you busy
it’s a little nicer than what do you do
it’s funny because in British English
what do you do is quite a common
question it means what do you do for a
living what do you do for work but when
I went over to America and I asked
people what do you do they were a bit
confused maybe they were just being
difficult I’m sure they understood me
but how do I ask the question like what
keeps you busy maybe they would have
been more chatty with me now number six
is a great one if you have a lower level
of English but you want to keep
conversation going it is ask open-ended
questions and again this is part of
avoiding yes/no questions so if I ask
someone do you like London they could
say yes or no and then that might be it
and then I’m stuck searching for
something else to say however if I ask a
question like so what do you like most
about London what do you like least
about London that gets the person
talking they’ve got no way out they have
to say something a bit broader and then
you can expand on that so questions
using what and how are really good for
keeping conversation going and then you
can use all the other tricks like
emphasizing similarity if someone
dislikes the same thing as you I’m with
you on that one I can’t stand queuing
queuing came to my mind because we’re in
lockdown at the moment because of the
coronavirus and I don’t like the queues
outside the supermarkets now number
seven is ask for advice and I’m not sure
if I have a video on asking for advice
and if I don’t I should definitely make
one because it’s a big topic and it’s a
great tool in conversation so when you
ask someone for their advice or for
their opinion but more advice
showing that you trust them that you
respect them it makes them feel
knowledgeable and it just improves the
connection between the two of you if you
shared a problem and you feel like
you’ve spent quite a long time talking
about it and you want to pass the baton
to send it over to the other person for
their response you could say something
like so what would you do in my
situation what would you do if you were
me and that’s a really nice way of
asking for advice and asking for opinion
without saying what is your advice what
is your opinion another great way is to
say I’ve always wondered about why there
are so many pigeons in England why do I
always end up talking about pigeons I
think my first ever video I spoke about
pigeons maybe it was my second anyway
I’ve always wondered why there are so
many pigeons in England maybe you could
offer some insight in that then they
could give their opinion as to why there
are so many pigeons what a ridiculous
example so in general the majority of
these tips have been about making sure
that the other person has lots of
opportunities to speak in general people
enjoy talking more than they do
listening you can use this to your
advantage if you are a learner of
English I have some extra little mini
tips these could be considered obvious
but I think they’re quite important and
these are more specific to learners of
English a big one is don’t be afraid to
ask for repetition a really good tip
that I provide to my students is just
don’t use the same asking for repetition
phrase over and over again have a couple
up your sleeve
oh sorry what was that oh could you
repeat that would you mind saying that
again what does that word mean different
ways and maybe brief the person say or
do you mind if I ask you a couple of
questions about the language you use
because I am learning and I really like
the way you speak that we’re offering a
compliment making them feel good they’ll
feel flattered that you like the way
they speak and they should be more than
willing to help you this brings me on to
my next little tip which is offer
sincere compliments I’m not talking
about physical compliments in general I
find that physical
can actually make people feel
uncomfortable unless they’re really
genuine say I have two people come up to
me one says oh my god you look great and
the other one says wow I really enjoyed
our conversation it was so interesting
to talk to you I would find the
compliment about my personality and
about an experience that we’ve shared
much more flattering and much more easy
to digest than a compliment or physical
appearance but everyone’s different but
I do feel like in general offering
sincere compliments that aren’t about
looks can be a really good way of
bonding with someone it’s like in the
comments section of my videos I don’t
necessarily respond to comments about
the way I look but I do often respond to
comments about the quality of my lessons
especially open-ended questions with
what how and why but if someone just
says I like your top today I am I don’t
really have much to say apart from thank
you and the last little mini tip is talk
about emotions and make sure that you
know how to talk about emotions there’s
lots of obscure vocabulary related to
emotions and lots of little nuances
especially to do with the negative ones
there are lots of idioms attached to
them as well I have done a video on
happy happiness related idioms which i
think is a really good one because when
people say things like oh I’m absolutely
over the moon or I’m on cloud nine it
can be really really confusing and you
can you know wonder if they’re being
positive or negative I mean even I
sometimes get confused I used to have an
American boss and I remember she said
can you come in and help with a
co-workers presentation because she’s
absolutely bombing it and I thought
bombing it like whew bomb like
absolutely she is the bomb I was like
great what she need help with and she
was like I need you to take over and I
was so confused but it turned out that I
just didn’t understand the idea she was
using so yes the one on happy
expressions would be really useful for
you and fun fact that was a video I
filmed after going on a first date with
my fiancee I think I was in a really
happy
and I decided to write a happy video and
I remember all the comments like oh my
god you’ve drunk a lot of coffee and the
funny thing was that I hadn’t drunk any
coffee
I was just I’d met a really great man
and we’d been on a date finally so yeah
if you want to see giddy Lucy who’s just
fallen in love and has just realized
that she’s met the man of her dreams and
you can watch that video I’ll link it
down below I’ve done another video about
ways to express disgust because that’s
an emotion that I’ve never really seen
lessons on that in school but I thought
it was a really important topic to cover
for my students let me know if there are
any lesson topics on emotions and
feelings that you think that I haven’t
covered that you think I should cover
that would be interesting for you I
think if that brings me to the end of
today’s video I hope you enjoyed it and
I hope you learned something don’t
forget to check out lingo de they’ve got
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students don’t forget to connect with me
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do vlogs of my life here on the farm if
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and we have a very quiet and peaceful
life especially in lockdown well I
really enjoyed filming this video for
you I’ve got lots more planned but do
put your recommendations down below I
will see you soon for another lesson
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