Were having a baby Polite and Rude Questions to Ask a Pregnant Woman
hi i’m vanessa from speak english with
vanessa calm and in my family there are
five members vanessa dan dodger Pippin
and Luna but we have room for one more
in our apartment right right so it’s
true
we’re having a baby so we wanted to
share this exciting news with you and
also include some English because this
is a big time in our lives and it’s
something that maybe a lot of you have
experienced too so in this video we’re
going to share with you some information
about our future baby and also some
polite and rude questions that you can
ask someone who’s pregnant a lot of
people ask me questions nowadays so I
want to help you ask polite questions
not rude questions so are you ready to
start with some polite questions I’m
ready okay
the most common question is when are you
due oh this question means when is the
baby coming
if you imagine a homework assignment
maybe your teacher said this assignment
is due next week due means it needs to
be finished it must come yes so it’s the
same for a baby we say when are you due
or when is the baby due it’s not common
to say when are you due and when are we
do we are due July 8th
oh it’s coming nice and soon another
common question is how far along are you
and this means how long have you been
pregnant and for me I have been pregnant
for about five months a little bit less
than five months so when someone asks me
Vanessa how far along are you
I can say five months it doesn’t mean
that the baby will come after five
months it means that I have been
pregnant for five
month do we usually say months art
always a week well I think that if
you’re talking to someone else who is
pregnant
usually they count each week 15 weeks 20
weeks but most people don’t really know
immediately 20 weeks equals five months
so five months usually you can just say
months but some women might say weeks if
they want to be really specific right
the next question is how are you feeling
oh I’m feeling actually pretty good very
general question yeah usually this is
physically how are you feeling
especially if you ask the woman the one
who’s pregnant because typically the
first three months maybe you feel really
tired or kind of sick and for me I felt
pretty tired and pretty sick kind of
sick I didn’t eat that much
I just ate crackers and muffins for
about a month or two months but now it’s
a little bit further into my pregnancy
so I feel a lot better I have more
energy we can do more stuff together be
more active because I just feel more
alive I feel fine
yeah how do you feel I’m feeling great
yeah how do you mentally feel because
how do you feel could be physically or
mentally so how do you feel about being
a father
I feel mostly excited definitely this is
something I’ve always wanted I knew I
wanted to be a dad and I like Vanessa a
lot so I think she’ll be a great mother
so for the most part I’m a maybe a
little nervous just because I think
pregnancy and giving birth is kind of
scary in general thank you
but yeah this kind of thing I enjoy I
think I’ll for the most part enjoy it
yeah it’s a new adventure another
question that’s okay to ask if somebody
is pregnant is are you going to find out
the gender
this means are you going to find out if
it’s a boy or a girl before you give
birth and today we are both wearing I
have some pink Dan has some blue classic
and the answer for us is are we going to
find out the gender yes I think so
yes so next week we’re filming this now
but next week we’re going to find out
the gender so before I post this video
we will definitely know the gender of
our baby at the moment we don’t know but
when you watch this video we will know
so I want you to guess in the comments
below what do you think yeah do we look
like we’ll have a boy or a girl
hmm do you think our child is a boy or a
girl and I want to give you the correct
answer at the moment I don’t know but
when I post this video we will know so
what I’m going to do is I’m going to
write a blog post to go along with this
video that will include all of the
questions and it will include the answer
from our doctor’s visit next week the
next week we’ll find out but when you
watch this the answer will be revealed
so you can click on the link in the
description below this video or at the
end of the video I’ll post a link so
that you can click on it and see if your
guess is correct
so what do you think do you think we’re
going to have a boy or a girl
um I think my initial hunch or my
initial idea was a girl but because I
think I might be wrong I’m saying a boy
okay and because we like to be
competitive and we like to win I’m gonna
guess the opposite so my guess is a girl
and Dan guess is a boy I have no idea
absolutely no idea I think it’s a pretty
pretty much a 50/50 chance yeah so I
have a 50% chance of being correct
mm-hmm and you two go to AI all right
let’s go to the next one some people
like to ask more detailed questions such
as are you taking birthing classes hmm
so this question has to do with the kind
of preparation that you’re gonna do so
in the u.s. it’s pretty common to take
birthing classes and
that means just how to give birth some
kind of techniques maybe breathing or
some mental techniques something to help
your partner help you yes and for us the
answer is yes we haven’t started yet
because it’s too soon
but shortly we will be taking a local
birthing class it’s actually pretty long
it’s six weeks for three hours each time
yeah but they gotta you got to prepare
the new mothers and fathers
yeah they don’t just talk about how to
give birth this class talks about how to
nurse how to be a parent what kind of
things your baby might need how about
your house yeah so it’s pretty detailed
so in the u.s. going to a birth class or
a birthing class is pretty common and
for us we’re not going to a hospital we
are going to a birth center to give
birth you have the baby so it’s a little
bit different but it’s connected to the
hospital but it’s a place kind of like a
little house a little more cozy yeah I
don’t want to work comfortable and
relaxing and it’s only for giving birth
there’s no one else there it’s only us
the midwives and anyone who we want to
come with us so it’s pretty open but
hopefully it will be a positive
experience another more detailed
question somebody might ask you is have
you thought about names yet hmm and this
is kind of a personal question I feel
like because a lot of couples in the
u.s. don’t tell people their baby names
until the baby’s born so for us we’ve
thought about names but we haven’t
really talked to many people about it
maybe some close family if they ask us
that question but typically we don’t
really share that information I’m a
little more open about it yeah I have
talked with co-workers about names yeah
just a preference is a preference it’s
not rude to ask someone have you thought
about names but I think if you said what
names do you like it could be
a little too direct because a lot of
people at least in the u.s. don’t like
to share that too much because it’s a
personal choice another more detailed
question that’s okay to ask maybe for
friends and family is do you have a
preference boy or girl
hmm so in this question you’re asking
someone do you want a girl do you want a
boy which one do you want so some people
when they have asked me this they say
this a little bit hesitantly like oh do
you want a boy or girl oh maybe I
shouldn’t ask they feel a little
hesitant about asking that because it
kind of implies that if I say I want a
girl it implies that if I have a boy I
won’t be happy so in reality I will be
happy boy I’ll be happy with a girl but
sometimes you have a little preference
yourself what you want do you oh it’s
hard to say I can imagine both lives
with a boy and with a girl do you have a
preference um I don’t know I’m really in
between that maybe maybe a little bit
more leaning toward the girl ah yeah and
just a little bit because I don’t know I
feel like I will feel much more warm and
loving towards a girl but with a boy I
will be like how can i shape this boy
and to be in young man a little more of
a duty kind of feeling boy and I think
for me if I had a boy I didn’t have any
I don’t have any brothers so growing up
with a boy and helping a son will be a
completely new experience for me so both
could be completely new challenges so
some people feel like it might be rude
to ask this but if you are friends or
family with the person or if you just
say it with a smile on your face it’s
not a big deal just it’s just a
preference in the end you just want a
healthy baby
there are also some kind of rude
questions may be rude especially if you
don’t know the person very well maybe if
they’re really really good friends you
could ask this but not you probably
should be careful
such as was it easy to get pregnant and
it’s interesting because each of these
rude questions people have already asked
me them and I try not to be offended
easily and it doesn’t really bother me
but I just want to let you know that it
can be kind of rude so you probably
shouldn’t tell someone or ask someone
this but when you ask someone was it
easy to get pregnant some people really
want a baby they really want to get
pregnant and maybe it takes a couple
months a couple of years sometimes to
get pregnant so for those people they
probably feel really sensitive about
this topic because it’s a big deal
they’re always thinking about it and
worrying or caring about it so I would
be very hesitant to say this too to
anyone unless you’re a family member or
someone really close to them yeah and in
that case you’ll probably already know
yep you’ll probably already know the
next question that’s pretty rude is to
ask was it an accident
hmm so this is saying were you an
accident where are you planning to get
pregnant and I think this question is
rude because first of all it’s pretty
personal but also because it implies
that you if it is an accident that you
don’t want your baby because you were
not planning to get pregnant so I think
a lot of people if it was an accident
they don’t want to say yes because it
implies that they don’t want their baby
they weren’t planning for their baby but
certainly for us if you might know I
like to plan a lot of my life so for us
it was not an accident and for me I
don’t feel strange
answering this question because it was
not an accident but when you ask someone
you don’t really know if it’s an
accident or not
so I recommend not asking this to
someone who’s pregnant unless you really
know them well yeah and accident is a
very common way to describe getting
pregnant without a plan
yes all right the next pretty rude
question to ask is are you happy so this
has a lot of
the connotations and someone has asked
me this already and I feel like it’s
rude because it implies that you
shouldn’t be happy or there’s some
problem like are you happy and maybe for
them they don’t want to have a baby yet
they’re not ready it’s not a good time
in their life so they’re kind of
reflecting that by asking you are you
happy how do you feel because for them
maybe they don’t want to have a baby yet
so they can’t imagine what that’s like
so instead if you want to ask about
someone’s emotional feelings
I recommend asking with a smile very
kindly oh how do you feel about being a
mother or how do you feel about being a
parent that’s a polite way that’s really
polite and some people have asked us
that - wow this is a new stage in your
life
how do you feel how do you feel about
being a mother and that’s really nice a
smile polite and they’re not implying
you shouldn’t be I leave it open-ended
yes are you happy the final road
statement which you should probably
never say to a woman period is wow
you’re so big you must be due soon yes
actually someone has not asked me this
yet because not very big yeah my body is
not very big yet but someone asked my
friend this or told my friend this she
was walking in the parking lot and she
was 7 months pregnant so she still had 2
months 2 months until she was going to
give birth and a stranger said to her
wow you’re so big I think the baby’s
coming soon and she was thinking I have
to wait two more months I know my body’s
big I’m tired I don’t have much energy
oh you don’t need to tell me that so
this is something that I’m sure you
wouldn’t really tell someone but in some
cultures it might be more common to
comment about someone’s physical
appearance but in the u.s. for women
especially not but for pregnant women
they might feel sensitive about their
changing body the
because for me my body is not that big
right now but my body is bigger than I
have ever been because this is just a
new thing in my life so maybe some women
feel much more sensitive about this
so don’t comment about her physical size
we also have a bonus situation to share
maybe something rude you shouldn’t do
and what is that well from my experience
I think a lot of people are curious
about a pregnant woman’s belly because
it’s something it’s a miracle it’s
something incredible that you are
growing another human inside of you and
your body looks different so a lot of
people want to touch a pregnant woman’s
belly rub the belly yes and in the u.s.
for some people they don’t care they’re
fine with people touching their belly
but I recommend just ask if you’re
curious if you’re a close friend or a
good friend they do you mind if I touch
your belly can I touch your belly is it
okay if I touch your belly and usually
if you ask this it’s not a problem
because you’re already a friend and
you’re asking but some people just touch
they just touch your belly and this is a
kind of breaking a social barrier
because usually we don’t touch each
other even friends you don’t just touch
their body
well sometimes friends just touch each
other yeah especially if you’re pregnant
though it’s kind of a sensitive thing so
I recommend if you want to do this or if
it’s normal in your country to touch a
pregnant woman sewing just ask ask first
and make sure that you’re good friends
before we go I just wanted to explain a
little bit about how I will be able to
teach English and have a baby at the
same time because I want to continue
teaching you English and that’s my
passion
I don’t want to stop so I have a great
plan of preparing a lot of materials in
advance I’ve already got a lot of
exciting videos prepared some interviews
some special locations we’re going to
talk about so there’s a lot of exciting
material coming up we’re doing the work
now yeah so we can take a break later
yeah with the baby so probably in the
month of July I will take a little break
from live videos but after that we’ll
see what happens I plan to continue to
be active and to continue to share
English in the real world with you
that’s the goal
thank you for watching everyone and if
you’d like take a look in the comments
below and write down if you think we
will have a boy or a girl yes right your
prediction and then after you write your
prediction no cheating
you can click on the blog post in the
description or at the end of this video
and find out the real answer for me when
we film this I’m just so curious I know
very curious and I won driving me crazy
I want to meet our child I’m curious
what they will be like do you think our
child will have brown hair or red hair
straight hair or curly hair because I I
what color eyes brown eyes green eyes
our physical features are pretty
different
so our child will be a very interesting
looking child probably Asian sister so
please write a comment below and let us
know do you think is a boy or girl what
color hair what color eyes what is your
prediction and click on the blog post to
find out thanks so much for sharing this
special time with us and I’ll see you
the next time bye