well yeah there's nowhere I'd rather be

on a day like this than around all this

electrical equipment

good afternoon distinguished academics

my name is Seth MacFarlane for those of

you who recognize me I'd like to say mom

dad Harris thanks for coming but please

wait in the car now I know that many of

you know me only from my voice and it

may be a bit jarring to see me speak in

person you thinking yourself boy it's

strange to hear that voice coming out of

that face in that sense I'm a lot like

Celine Dion

I'm not calling her silly-looking but if

you meet her in person I'll give you a

dollar if you can find her nose to tell

the truth I don't even know why you guys

invited me I mean this is this is

Harvard this is the most prestigious

College in the world I went to the Rhode

Island School of Design an art school

whose only athletic institution is a

hockey team called the nads the mascot

is a giant penis named scrotie go to a

game I swear to god I'm not making that

up Harvard has created brilliant throngs

of doctors lawyers authors scientists I

created a TV show where a vaudeville era

barbershop quartet sings a song about

aids your grandchildren will boast

impressive salaries and trust funds my

grandchildren will owe money to the FCC

but one thing we do have in common is

the glittering jewel that is New England

like many of you I hail from this great

region Connecticut to be precise and

while I treasure my formative years in

the land of chowder lobster and

gonorrhea that's that's too STD jokes in

the first five minutes I should have

proof read this thing

I am here to tell you about the place I

live now the real world there's no dress

rehearsal no take home tests no rough

drafts

if you unconstitutionally wiretap

people's phones you will be taken down

if you shoot someone in the face with a

shotgun you'll reap the consequences if

you illegally invade a sovereign nation

to secure oil interests and a swash of

personal vendetta

you'll be re-elected but I'm not here to

bludgeon you with my political beliefs

I'm not here to slam current former and

undeserving celebrities now I'm here

because I have great love and respect

for this fine establishment you see it

was always a fantasy no a fetish of mine

to be a Harvard student so for the last

four years I have secretly been living

amongst you eating in your dining halls

attending your classes sleeping with

your women and in a tragic case of

miscommunication sleeping with Lawrence

Summers although god bless him the man

has the hands of a prison doctor

[Applause]

and what I've learned from my undercover

expedition into your tributaries

civilization of advanced physics law

biology business economics and weed I

know it seems odd that that would be a

major but it's actually very interesting

classes are held at Cabot house we live

there man thesaurus that's what you

sound like

what I have learned is that you like

Family Guy so I could stand up here and

drone on for the next 15 minutes but I

know that's not what you want you're

like my mother in that you don't want to

hear from me you just want to hear the

voices

so I'd like to turn things over to my

colleague from TV land to offer you his

perspective on your progress greetings

citizens of Hammond as I look out on

this sea of black Asian faces I think to

myself one thought take that Hitler

because rewind yeah

Harvard is pound-for-pound the smartest

of all your freakin schools in fact I

hope one day my son Chris will go to

Harvard okay you don't I'm just jacking

myself off there but you know maybe one

of my kids I mean Meg's got the look of

a hobbit Dale but I'm not sure she's got

that

not so she's got the brains going on

she probably do better one of those real

lesbian colleges like Smith a Yale now I

know all you stuff for your types are

probably thinking who the hell this

Peter Griffin think he is preaching to

us he didn't even finish college well I

can drink a case of Budweiser in ten

minutes flat so stuff it up your darkest

mr. Wordsworth douching tin v but the

rusty has seemed like stand-up guys and

girls and tomorrow you smart kids are

gonna be sitting there and you're cool

caps and gowns looking like that ow on

the wise potato chip bags I see you out

there thinking ponder and pontificating

using words like subterfuge fuselage and

MSNBC you remind me of many of the smart

young people I know Doogie Howser

malcolm in the middle' and Donatello of

the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and we

need more smart people like you you know

I mean I get into my car every morning

and I think how does my car work what

makes it move I get in this thing and it

just knows how the hell does that happen

I don't understand what you guys do

and for that I walk in your [ __ ]

shadow

the next wave of great inventions is

going to come from you guys I mean how

many times have you said I'd like some

cheese right now and before smart people

came along you had to wait for a cow to

die and rot in the Sun or something but

now BAM aerosol cheese cheese that

sprays out of like a paint can you know

whoever invented spray cheese had to

have been a hobbit dad well let's say

you see a commercial for one of them

Soloflex things and you want to order

one so you can get in shape even though

everybody says you got to be good to

have a Soloflex but I don't think you

got to be gay to have a Soloflex so

you're running and now get a pencil to

write down the phone number and you trip

and fall and hurt your knee

but before smart people came along you

had to sit there and pain just going

[Applause]

but now band-aids that'll be a Harvard

guy you know I never stood in front of

so many smart people before who knows

sitting out there in that audience maybe

a future President of the United States

and when he's elected you'll say that

guy Barry the guy walked down the

hallway freshman year with his necks

hanging out he's the president named the

guy who crapped his pants at the fly

Club and he didn't even go home after

that he sat there and had four more

beers

then he went home from that chick where

I went home with that chick from Amherst

the guy who passed out in the showers

and then we wrote all over his face with

magic marker and he walked around for

two days with the faded word douchebag

written on his forehead me have no idea

I used to pee in that guy's shampoo

bottle and now he's president the

American people just elected President P

head but at least you guys will have the

guts on him

you can call him up and say hey

president P head I peed in your shampoo

so make me secretary accept it and it'll

turn out the pain and some guys shampoo

bottle was the best career move you ever

made

that's our life works sometimes I like

to think there are no dumb ideas well

listen as smart as you kids huh don't

get too high and waiting because I

happen to know a certain Cindy here

janitor who's smarter than all of you

put together that's right the guy who

sold that math problem was a janitor and

we all know what that got him

a date with Minnie Driver on that big

Easter Island had a hearse

yeah Minnie I said it let me put it this

way you like apples

well your face is freakishly big for

your head how do you like those apples

and that will be checked so I know most

of you will be shipping off to fight the

war in Iraq

and others will be doing missionary work

in Africa but remember some of you that

Wall Street is still an option don't

reload roll it out because it is a noble

profession goldman sachs needs people to

and here's a tip for you

Digital just think about that the future

is going digital I don't know what that

means but just remember who told that to

you well that's about it for me cuz I

gotta run TBS is showing that episode of

Diff'rent Strokes where Ronald and uh

deleted inappropriately touched by the

guy from WKRP in Cincinnati so I pass it

over to Stewie but let me leave you with

this piece of advice it's a very simple

piece of advice and each person here

will interpret it in their own way and

it is this

good day to you

[Applause]

good afternoon ladies and gentlemen

it is indeed an honor to address the

denizens of the hallowed grounds of

Harvard where boys can be boys girls

girls can be girls and those in between

can create student groups to the

unfetter about their lack of romantic

options so it's one day before

graduation

that's one more night to get that

roommate to kill himself so you can get

straight A's you might want to remind

him how he never got laid and how these

were the best years tap him on the

shoulder and remind him that his parents

didn't come today and if worse comes to

worse push him out the goddamn window

now I may not be the hippest cat in the

world but I do know something about the

way you college students think and I

know who your heroes are and at the top

of that list is a fellow who mubarik you

regard as the very epitome of the

cutting edge of cool the trends that he

sets you follow without question and

when he opens his mouth you young people

take it as gospel of course I'm talking

about your precious paragon of current

popular culture the Fonz well let me

tell you this he doesn't know everything

he drives a motorcycle which is

incredibly dangerous he wears his

trouser two trousers too tight which

inhibits sperm production and friends if

you either jukebox with your fists

you're just going to break it so suffice

it to say I know how your minds work and

I know what you're thinking on this day

of your advancement into adulthood

you're wondering to yourselves what can

I expect from the outside world will I

find my niche what should I know about

the vast territory that lies behind

Macbeth beyond the confines of my little

subculture of textbooks ramen noodles

coin-operated laundry and TV shows that

seem to think they can skate by with

random jokes about giant chickens that

have absolutely nothing to do with the

overall narrative

the boys at South Park are absolutely

correct

those cutaways and flashbacks have

nothing to do with the story they're

just there to be funny now that is a

shallow indulgence that South Park is

quite above and for that I salute them

but to my point what is out there but I

can't tell you all the correct paths to

traverse but I can tell you some things

to avoid number one don't get a tattoo

of a Chinese character on your Fanny if

you don't understand the language tattoo

removal services are making a killing

off of people's stupidity because Little

Miss individuality walks into the tattoo

parlor and gets an Asian symbol she

thinks means spiritual woman but that

she later finds out means sugar

substitute number two don't be taken in

by idiotic popular songs that profess to

be deeper than they are last year Gwen

Stefani released a little ditty entitled

holla back girl a few weeks later she

was asked during an interview what does

hollaback girl mean to which she replied

what do you think it means

so apparently each one of us is invited

to create our own translation for what

she is saying to us my translation is

haste hey Stewie its Gwen would you

please send me a bird flu sandwich

number three stay away from the church

in the Battle of a science versus

religion science offers credible

evidence for all the serious claims it

makes the Church says who it's right

here in this book so either one written

by people who thought the Sun was magic

I for one would like to see some proof

that there is a God and if you say a

baby's smile I'm going to kick you right

in the stomach number four

always have at least one friend who's a

Jew number five do not create a

television series about a group of

people who crash land on an island if

you don't know where you're going with

it don't just make it up as you go along

because if you do it's going to start

sucking very quickly I'm talking of

course about Desperate Housewives which

is just awful teri hatcher you're a

beautiful woman but please grow old

gracefully and without the facial work

you're not allowed to have an

exoskeleton unless you're a Beatle

number six if you ever fall into a deep

depression then nothing can cheer you up

don't give up hope just remember that

the man who played mr. Belvedere once

sat on his own balls and had to be

rushed to the hospital which is

absolutely hilarious number seven do not

get into politics in Florida because you

might accidentally run into Katherine

Harris this is a woman who could stand

next to Hitler and people would say

who's the [ __ ]

number eight do not wear a wool cap

indoors in the middle of the summer

unless you are either a douchebag or

Colin Farrow

yes Colin I see you there with your wool

cap what you got going on under that

wool cap thinking about your sideburns

it looks like you've got a little rip in

your jeans there - yeah that's

rebellious yeah you're a bad boy Society

wants those jeans to be intact but

you'll have none of it will you but you

know looking out there into the audience

I see so many bright young faces poised

and ready to thrust themselves into the

very hearts of America's political and

financial institutions and seize control

of the levers of power at any cost some

would call you elitist over privileged

and dreaming with a snotty sense of

entitlement I call you my base I can see

by the looks on your faces that some of

you disagree with me you think you can

hold on to those lofty visions of a life

of nobility hmm

still have your ideals do you can use

that big brain of yours to make a

difference I'm gonna make the world a

better place be an agent for change

volunteer I'm gonna get a job in the

public sector sacrifice the big bucks

cuz that doesn't matter to you

maybe spend a few year in the muse the

Peace Corps save the whales maybe maybe

join the Environmental Defense Council

recycle

well you're gonna sell out and now brave

graduates I should pass the verbal baton

to our final speaker gentlemen and coeds

I would like to wish you all a good

giggety and to tell you it is an honor

to be standing before you today at this

fine establishment I feel a tremendous

sense of accomplishment being here

because I've banged chicks in every

school in the Ivy League except Harvard

you are by far the toughest to get into

[Applause]

I'll keep my remarks brief today because

I'm meeting two women and an animal

handler at Hong Kong's in about 20

minutes Oh rad last time I was here I

had sex with a woman at the New England

Aquarium where it's fun to find out

in fact when I come to Boston I sleep

with a different woman every night of

the week except Wednesday because in

Boston's historic North End Wednesday is

Prince spaghetti day I respect education

and I've drawn deep inspiration from the

classics as my favorite poet Henry

Wadsworth Longfellow once said it's

gonna tempt your tummy with a taste of

nuts and honey it's a honey oven oh it's

honey nut cheerios

and if I may I would like to paraphrase

Dickens but instead of Christmas

traditions I am speaking today of

vaginas when I say they have never put

one scrap of gold in my pocket but they

bring a smile to my face so therefore I

declare them good if there is one

message I can leave you with this

afternoon it is this although you were

graduating and moving on to those

uncharted new frontiers of adult life

never leave behind that sense of

experimentation that bareback sense of

adventure and openness stay young keep

looking at the world with a sense of

wide-leg wonder giggity-giggity and good

luck to you all thank you very much

[Applause]

{{}}

嗯，是的，

在这样的日子里，我最想呆在这样的一天，而不是在所有这些

电气设备

周围

现在在车里等一下，我知道你们中的许多人

只从我的声音中认识我

，看到我亲自说话可能有点刺耳，

你认为自己是男孩，

从

那个意义上说，从那张脸中听到那个声音很奇怪我' 我很像

席琳迪翁

我不是说她长相很傻但是如果

你亲自见到她我会给你一

美元如果你能找到她的鼻子

说实话我什至不知道你们为什么

邀请我 我的意思是这就是

哈佛 这是世界上最负盛名的

学院 我去了

罗德岛设计学院 一所艺术学校，

它唯一的体育机构是一个

叫做 nads 的曲棍球队 吉祥物

是一个巨大的阴茎，叫做 scrotie 去一个

游戏我向上帝发誓我不会做那个

up 哈佛创造了

一批杰出的医生 律师 作家 科学家 我

制作了一个电视节目，其中一个杂技演员时代的

理发店四重奏唱了一首关于艾滋病的歌

你的孙子们将吹嘘

令人印象深刻的薪水和信托基金 我的

孙子们将欠联邦通信委员会的钱，

但我们确实拥有一件事 共同点

是闪亮的宝石，

就像你们中的许多人一样，准确地说，我来自康涅狄格州这个伟大的

地区，

虽然我在杂烩龙虾和淋病的土地上珍惜我的成长岁月，

但

在前五分钟这太 STD 笑话了

，我 应该

对这件事进行校对

我来这里是为了告诉你我

现在居住的地方 现实世界 没有

彩排 没有带回家的测试 没有草稿

如果你违宪窃听

别人的电话

如果你朝某人的脸开枪 你会被取缔

如果

你非法入侵一个主权国家

以确保石油利益和大量个人利益，你将用

猎枪获得后果 TTA

你会被重新选举，但我不是在这里

用我的政治信仰来抨击你，

我不是在这里抨击当前的前者和

不值得的名人现在我在这里，

因为我有很大的爱和

尊重这一优秀的建立。 看

，成为一名哈佛学生一直是我的幻想，不是我的恋物癖，所以在过去的

四年里，我一直偷偷地住

在你们中间，在你们的食堂吃饭，

参加你们的课程，和

你们的女人睡觉，并在一个不幸的

沟通不畅的情况下睡觉 劳伦斯·

萨默斯 虽然上帝保佑他，这个人

有监狱医生的手

[掌声

] 我从秘密探险中学到的东西

进入你的支流

文明 先进的物理 法

生物学 商业 经济学和杂草 我

知道这似乎很奇怪 一个

专业，但实际上非常有趣的

课程在 Cabot 的房子里举行，我们

住在那里 人词库这就是你

听起来像

我学到的是你喜欢

Family Guy 所以我可以忍受 在这里，然后继续

无人机 15 分钟，但我

知道这不是

你想要的 转给我

来自电视界的同事，向您提供他

对您进步的看法 问候

哈蒙德的公民 当我望向

这片亚洲黑人面孔的海洋时

最聪明的学校事实上我

希望有一天我的儿子克里斯会去

哈佛好吗你不是我只是

在那儿自欺欺人但你知道

也许我的一个孩子我的意思是梅格看起来像

一个霍比特人戴尔 但我不确定她

是

不是这样，所以她的大脑在运转，她可能会在

史密斯和耶鲁这样的真正女同性恋大学中做得更好，现在我

知道你所有适合你类型的东西

可能都在想这个彼得格里芬到底在想谁

他在向

我们讲道 他甚至没有完成大学学业 好吧，我

可以在十分钟内喝完一箱百威啤酒，

所以把它塞进你最黑的

先生。 华兹华斯冲洗锡 v 但

生锈的男孩和女孩看起来像站起来的男孩和

女孩，明天你们聪明的孩子

会坐在那里，你们是很酷的

帽子和长袍，看起来像这样，

在聪明的薯片袋上我看到你在

那里思考

用诸如诡计机身和 MSNBC 之类的词来思考和夸夸其谈，

你让我想起了我认识的许多聪明的

年轻人 Doogie Howser

malcolm in the middle' 和

忍者神龟的多纳泰罗，我们

需要更多像你这样的聪明人你知道

我的意思是我 每天早上上我的车

，我想我的车是怎么工作的

是什么让它移动

阴影下一波伟大的发明

将来自你们我的意思是

你说过多少次我现在想要一些

奶酪，在聪明人

出现之前你不得不等待一头牛

死去并在阳光下腐烂 什么的 g 但是

现在 BAM 气溶胶奶酪奶酪

像油漆一样喷出来你知道

发明喷雾奶酪的人

一定是个霍比特人的爸爸假设

你看到其中一个

Soloflex 东西的广告，你想订购

一个这样你就可以 即使

每个人都说你必须很好才能

拥有 Soloflex 但我不认为你

必须是同性恋才能拥有 Soloflex 所以

你正在跑步，现在拿一支铅笔

写下电话号码然后你就旅行了

摔倒伤了膝盖，

但在聪明人出现之前，你

必须坐在那里，痛苦只是去

[掌声]

但现在创可贴将成为哈佛

人，你知道我从来没有站在

这么多聪明人面前 knows

sitting out there in that audience maybe

a future President of the United States

and when he's elected you'll say that

guy Barry the guy walked down the

hallway freshman year with his necks

hanging out he's the president named the

guy who crapped his pants at 飞行

俱乐部和他 之后甚至没有回家

，他坐在那里，又喝了四

杯啤酒，

然后他从那个小鸡回家，

我和那个来自阿默斯特的小鸡一起回家，

那个家伙在淋浴时昏倒了

，然后我们用魔法在他脸上

写满了 marker and he walked around for

two days with the faded word douchebag

written on his forehead me have no idea

I used to pee in that guy's shampoo

bottle and now he's president the

American people just elected President P

head but at least you guys will have the

对他有胆量

你可以打电话给他说嘿

总裁P头我在你的洗发水里撒了尿

所以让我秘书接受它会

变成痛苦的，有些人洗发

水瓶是你做过的最好的职业举动

，这是我们一生的事业 有时我

喜欢认为没有愚蠢的想法

像你们孩子一样聪明地听，

不要太高而等待，因为我

碰巧知道这里的某个 Cindy

看门人比你们所有人加起来都聪明

，这是正确的那

个人 ld 那数学题是看门人，

我们都知道是什么让

他和米妮·德赖弗在那个大复活节岛上约会

有一辆灵车

是的，米妮 我说它让我这么

说 你很喜欢

苹果 你的脸对你来说大得离奇

头，你喜欢那些苹果

，这将被检查，所以我知道

你们中的大多数人将被运送去

伊拉克打仗

，其他人将在非洲做传教工作

，但请记住你们中的一些人，

华尔街仍然是一个选择

不要重新加载推出它，因为这是

高盛需要人们去做的高尚职业

，这里有一个提示给你

数字化只是想想未来

正在走向数字化我不知道这

意味着什么但只要记住谁告诉

你的好 对我来说就是这样，因为我

要运行 TBS 正在播放

Diff'rent Strokes 的那一集，其中 Ronald 和 uh

被辛辛那提 WKRP 的那个人不恰当地触动了，

所以我把它

交给了 Stewie，但让我

把这条建议留给你 它是 一个非常

简单的建议，这里的每个人

都会用自己的方式来解释它，

今天是你们的美好一天

[掌声]

女士们，先生们，下午好

，真的很荣幸向

哈佛圣地的居民们发表讲话

，男孩们 可以是男孩女孩

女孩可以是女孩，介于两者之间的人

可以创建学生团体，

不受他们缺乏浪漫选择的束缚，

所以在毕业前一天

，还有一个晚上让

室友自杀，这样你就可以获得

全A，你可能会 想提醒

他他从未上过床，这

是最好的岁月，拍拍他的

肩膀，提醒他他的父母

今天没有来，如果情况变得

更糟，现在把他赶出该死的窗户，

我可能不是 世界上最时髦的猫，

但我确实

知道你们大学生的思维方式，我

知道你们的英雄是谁，而在

这个名单的顶部是一个你

认为穆巴里克最

典型的家伙 他

让你毫无疑问地跟随潮流，

当他张开嘴时，你们年轻人

当然把它当作福音，我说

的是你当前

流行文化的宝贵典范，Fonz 好吧，让我

告诉你，他没有 什么都不知道

他开着一辆非常危险的摩托车

他穿着他的

裤子 两条裤子太紧了 这会

抑制精子的产生 朋友们 如果

你用拳头点唱机

你就会打破它 所以

我只想说我知道你的 头脑工作，

我知道

你在成年的

这一天在

想什么 我的小

亚文化教科书拉面

投币式洗衣机和电视节目

似乎认为他们可以通过

关于完全没有的巨型鸡的随机笑话

滑过 与

整体叙事

有关，南方公园的男孩们是绝对

正确的，

那些剖面图和倒叙

与故事无关，他们

现在只是为了搞笑，这是

对南方公园的一种肤浅的放纵

，为此我 向他们致敬，

但就我而言，那里有什么，但我

不能告诉你所有正确的穿越路径，

但我可以告诉你一些

要避免的事情第一不要

在你的范妮身上纹一个汉字如果

你不 '不懂语言纹身

去除服务正在

扼杀人们的愚蠢，因为

个性小小姐走进纹身

店并得到一个亚洲符号，她

认为这意味着精神女人，但

她后来发现这意味着第二号糖

替代品不是 被

那些自称比去年更深沉的白痴流行歌曲所吸引

格温·

史蒂芬妮（Gwen Stefani） 几周后发布了一首名为

holla back girl 的小曲，她

在接受采访时被问到什么

hollaback girl 的意思 她回答

了你认为这意味着什么

所以显然我们每个人都被邀请

为

她对我们说的话创建我们自己的翻译我的翻译很

匆忙嘿 Stewie 它的 Gwen 你能不能

给我寄一份禽流感三明治

第三名

在科学与宗教之战中远离教会

科学为

它提出的所有严肃主张提供了可靠的证据

一个人想

看到有上帝的证据，如果你说一个

婴儿的微笑，我会踢你

的肚子 第四号

总是至少有一个朋友是

犹太人 第五号 不要

制作关于

如果

你不知道你要去哪里，一群人会在岛上坠毁

，不要只是在你前进的时候弥补，

因为如果你这样做，它会

很快开始吸吮我所说的

当然关于 绝望的主妇，

这真是太糟糕了，你是一个

美丽的女人，但请

优雅地老去，没有面部工作

，

除非你是披头士乐队的六号人物，否则你不能拥有外骨骼，

如果你曾经陷入深深的

抑郁症 没有什么能让你振作起来

不要放弃希望只要记住

那个扮演先生的人。 Belvedere 曾经

坐在自己的球上，不得不被

紧急送往医院，这绝对是

热闹的 7

不要在佛罗里达参与政治，因为你

可能会不小心遇到凯瑟琳

哈里斯，这是一个可以站在

希特勒旁边的女人，人们会说

谁是

八号

婊子 夏天不要在室内戴羊毛帽，

除非你是个混蛋或

科林·法罗

看起来

你的牛仔裤有一点裂痕 - 是的，这很

叛逆，是的，你是个坏孩子社会

希望那些牛仔裤完好无损，但

你不会有它，但你

知道向外看 观众

我看到这么多聪明的年轻面孔

蓄势待发，准备将自己

插入美国政治和

金融机构的核心，

不惜一切代价控制权力的杠杆，有些人

会称之为 你是精英主义者，对特权

和梦想有一种傲慢的权利感

有你的理想吗 你能用

你的大脑袋来做出

改变 我要让世界

变得更美好 成为一名变革

志愿者 我要在公共部门找到一份工作

牺牲大

笔钱 因为那不 对你来说没关系

也许花几年时间在

和平队拯救鲸鱼也许

加入环境保护委员会

回收

很好你会卖光现在勇敢的

毕业生我应该把口头指挥棒

交给我们最后的演讲者先生们 coeds

我想祝你们所有人都

开心，并告诉你们今天很荣幸

能在这所

精美的机构中站在你们面前我感到非常

有成就感，

因为我在每所学校都撞过小鸡

在除哈佛之外的常春藤联盟中，

你是迄今为止最难进入的

[掌声]

今天我会保持简短的发言，因为

大约 20 分钟后我要在香港会见两个女人和一个动物管理员

哦，上次我是 在这里，我

在新英格兰水族馆与一位女士发生性关系

，这很

有趣当我来到波士顿时，我

每周的每个晚上都和一个不同的女人睡觉，

除了周三，因为在

波士顿历史悠久的北区，周三是

意大利面条王子日 尊重教育

，我从经典中汲取了深刻的灵感，

因为我最喜欢的诗人

亨利沃兹沃思朗费罗曾经说过，它

会用坚果和蜂蜜的味道诱惑你的肚子，

这是一个蜂蜜烤箱，哦，它是

蜂蜜坚果 Cheerios

，如果可以的话，我想 套用

狄更斯的话说，但

我今天说的不是圣诞节传统，而是

阴道，当我说他们从来没有把

一块金子放在我的口袋里时，但他们

给我带来了微笑，所以我

宣布他们很好，如果有的话

今天下午我可以留给你的信息

是这样的，尽管你即将

毕业并继续前进到

成人生活的那些未知的新领域，但

永远不要忘记那种实验感，

那种无鞍的

冒险感和开放感，保持年轻，保持年轻，继续

看世界

大长腿的感觉 怪怪的-笨蛋

祝大家好运 非常感谢

[鼓掌]