welcome to american spoken english

english conversation channel

the umbrella man a funny story by roald

dahl

i'm going to tell you about a funny

thing

that happened to my mother and me

yesterday evening

i am 12 years old and i'm a girl

my mother is 34 but i'm nearly as tall

as her already

yesterday afternoon my mother took me up

to london to see the dentist

he found one hole it was in a back

tooth and he filled it without hurting

me too much

after that we went to a cafe

i had a banana split and my mother had a

cup of coffee

by the time we got up to leave it was

about

six o'clock when we came out of the cafe

it had started to rain we must get a

taxi

my mother said we were wearing

ordinary hats and coats and it was

raining quite

hard why don't we go back into the cafe

and wait for it to stop i said

i wanted another of those banana splits

they were gorgeous it isn't going to

stop

my mother said we must get home

we stood on the pavement in the rain

looking for a taxi

lots of them came by but they all had

passengers inside them

i wish we had a car with a chauffeur

my mother said just then

a man came up to us he was a small man

and he was pretty old probably

70 or more he raised his hat politely

and said to my mother excuse me

i do hope you will excuse me

he had a fine white mustache and bushy

white eyebrows

and a wrinkly pink face

he was sheltering under an umbrella

which he held

high over his head yes

my mother said very cool and distant

i wonder if i could ask a small

favor of you he said

it is only a very small favor

i saw my mother looking at him

suspiciously

she is a suspicious person my mother

she is especially suspicious of two

things

strange men and boiled eggs

when she cuts the top off a boiled egg

she pokes around inside it with her

spoon

as though expecting to find a mouse or

something

with strange men she has a golden rule

which says the nicer the man

seems to be the more suspicious you must

become

[Music]

this little old man was particularly

nice

he was polite he was well spoken

he was well dressed he was a real

gentleman the reason i knew he was a

gentleman

was because of his shoes you can

always spot a gentleman by the shoes he

wears

was another of my mother's favorite

sayings

this man had beautiful brown shoes

the truth of the matter is the little

man was saying

i've got myself into a bit of a scrape

i need some help not bring down much i

assure you

it's almost nothing in fact but i do

need it you see madame

old people like me often become terribly

forgetful

my mother's chin was up and she was

staring down

at him along the full length of her nose

it was a fearsome thing this

frosty-nosed stare of my mother's

most people go to pieces completely when

she gives it to them

i once saw my own head mistress begin to

stammer and simple like an idiot

when my mother gave her a really foul

frosty noser

but the little man on the pavement with

the umbrella over his head

didn't bat an eyelid he gave a gentle

smile

and said i beg you to believe madam

that i am not in the habit of stoppidies

in the street and

telling them my troubles i should hope

not my mother said

i felt quite embarrassed by my mother's

sharpness

i wanted to say to her oh mummy for

heaven's sake

he's a very very old man and he's sweet

and polite

and he's in some sort of trouble so

don't be so beastly to him

but i didn't say anything

the little man shifted his umbrella from

one hand to the other

i've never forgotten it before he said

you've never forgotten what my mother

asked sternly

my wallet he said

i must have left it in my other jacket

isn't that the silliest thing to do

are you asking me to give you money

my mother said oh could

gracious mean no he cried

heaven forbid i should ever do that

then what are you asking my mother said

do hurry up we're getting soaked to the

skin

here i know you are

he said and that is why i'm offering you

this

umbrella of mine to protect you and to

keep forever

if if only

if only what my mother said

if only you would give me in return a

pound

for my taxi fare just to get me home

my mother was still suspicious

if you had no money in the first place

she said then how did you get here

i walked he answered

every day i go for a lovely long walk

and then i summon a taxi to take me home

i do it every day of the year why don't

you walk home

now my mother asked

oh i wish i could he said

i do wish i could but i don't think i

could manage it on these silly old legs

of mine

i've gone too far already

my mother stood there chewing her lower

lip

she was beginning to melt a bit i could

see that

and the idea of getting an umbrella to

shelter under

must have tempted her a good deal

it's a lovely umbrella the little man

said

so i've noticed my mother said

it's silk he said i can see that

then why don't you take it madam he said

it cost me over 20 pounds i promise you

but that's of no importance so long as i

can

get home and rest these old legs of mine

i saw my mother's hand feeling for the

clasp of her purse

she saw me watching her i was giving her

one of my own

frosty nosed looks this time and she

knew exactly

what i was telling her now listen

mummy i was telling her you simply

mustn't take advantage of a tired old

man in this way

it's a rotten thing to do

my mother paused and looked back at me

then she said to the little man i

don't think it's quite right but i

should take an umbrella from you

worth 20 pounds i think i'd better just

give you the taxi fare and be done with

it

no no no he cried it's out of the

question

i wouldn't dream of it not in a million

years

i would never accept money from you like

that

take the umbrella dear lady and

keep the rain off your shoulders

my mother gave me a triumphant sideways

look

there you are she was telling me you're

wrong

he wants me to have it

she fished into her purse and took out a

pound note

she held it out to the little man he

took it

and handed her the umbrella he pocketed

the pound

raised his hat gave a quick bow from the

waist and said

thank you madam thank you then he was

gone

come under here and keep dry my mother's

darling

my mother said aren't we lucky

i've never had a silk umbrella before i

couldn't afford it

why were you so horrid to him in the

beginning

i asked i wanted to satisfy myself he

wasn't a trickster

she said and i did he was a gentleman

i'm very pleased i was able to help him

yes mommy i said a real

gentleman she went on wealthy too

otherwise he wouldn't have had a silk

umbrella

i shouldn't be surprised if he isn't a

titled person

sir harry goldsworthy or something like

that

yes mummy this will be a good lesson to

you

she went on never rush things

always take your time when you're

summing someone up

they never make mistakes

there he goes i said look

where over there he's crossing the

street

goodness mommy what a hurry he's in

we watched the little man as he dodged

nimbly

in and out of the traffic when he

reached the other side of the street

he turned left walking very fast

he doesn't look very tired to me does he

to you mommy

my mother didn't answer he doesn't look

as though he's trying to get a taxi

either i said

my mother was standing very still and

stiff

staring across the street at the little

man

we could see him clearly he was in a

terrific

hurry he was bustling along the pavement

sidestepping the other pedestrians and

swinging his arms

like a soldier on the march

he's up to something my mother said

stoney-faced but what

i don't know my mother snapped but i'm

going to find

out come with me she took my arm

and we crossed the street together then

we turned left

can you see him my mother asked

yes there he is he's turning right down

the next street

he came to the corner and turned right

the little man was about

20 yards ahead of us he was scuttling

along like a rabbit

and we had to walk very fast to keep up

with him

the rain was pelting down harder than

ever now

and i could see it dripping from the

brim of his hat onto his shoulders

but we were snug and dry under our

lovely big silk umbrella

what is he up to my mother said

what if he turns round and sees us i

asked

i don't care if he does my mother said

he lied to us he said he was too

tired to walk any further and he's

practically running us off our feet

he's a bare-faced liar he's a crook

you mean he's not a title gentleman

i asked be quiet she said

at the next crossing the little man

turned right again

then he turned left then right

i'm not giving up now my mother said

he's disappeared i cried

where's he gone he went in that door

my mother said i saw him into that house

great heavens it's a pub

it was a pub in big letters right across

the front it said

the red lion you're not going in

are you mommy no she said

we'll watch from outside

there was a big plate glass window along

the front of the pub

and although it was a bit steamy on the

inside we could see through it very well

if we went close

we stood huddled together outside the

pub window

i was clutching my mother's arm the big

raindrops were making a loud noise on

our umbrella

there he is i said over there

the room we were looking into was full

of people

and cigarette smoke and our little man

was in the middle of it all

he was now without his hat and coat and

he was edging his way

through the crowd towards the bar

when he reached digger he placed both

hands on the bar itself

and spoke to the barman i saw his lips

moving as he gave his order

the barman turned away from him for a

few seconds

and came back with a smallish tumbler

filled to the brim with

light brown liquid the little man

placed a pound note on the counter

that's my pound my mother hissed

by golly he's got a nerve

what's in the glass i asked

whiskey my mother said

neat whiskey the barman didn't give him

any change from the pound

that must be a treble whiskey my mommy

said

what's a treble i asked

three times the normal measure

she answered the little man picked up

the glass and put it to his lips

he tilted it gently then he tilted it

higher and higher and higher

and very soon all the whiskey had

disappeared down his throat in

one long pour that's a

jolly expensive drink i said

it's ridiculous my mummy said

fancy paying a pound for something to

swallow in one go

it cost him more than a pound i said

it cost him a 20 pound silk umbrella

so it did my mother said

he must be mad

the little man was standing by the bar

with the empty glass

in his hand he was smiling now

and a sort of golden glow of pleasure

was spreading over

his round pink face i saw his tongue

come out to lick the white moustache

as though searching for one last drop of

that precious whiskey

[Music]

slowly he turned away from the bar and

edged his way back

through the crowd to where his hat and

coat were hanging

he put on his hat he put on his coat

then in a manner so superbly cool and

casual

that you hardly noticed anything at all

he lifted from the coat rack

one of the many wet umbrellas hanging

there

and off he went did you

see that my mother shrieked

did you see he did shh

i whispered he's coming out

we lowered our umbrella to hide our

faces

and peered out from under it

out he came but he never looked in our

direction

he opened his new umbrella over his head

and scurried off down the road the way

he had come

so that's his little game

my mother said neat

i said super

we followed him back to the main street

where we had first met him

and we watched him as he proceeded with

no trouble at all

to exchange his new umbrella for another

pound note this time it was with a tall

thin

fellow who didn't even have a coat or

hat

and as soon as the transaction was

completed our little man trotted off

down the street

and was lost in the crowd but this time

he went in the opposite direction

you see how clever he is

my mother said he never goes to the same

pub

twice he could go on doing this all

night

i said yes my mother said

of course but i'll bet he prays

like mad for rainy days

you

{{}}

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英语对话

频道 伞人 roald dahl 的一个有趣的故事

我要告诉你昨天晚上

发生在我和我妈妈身上的一件有趣的事情

我今年 12 岁，我是一个女孩，

我的妈妈 我 34 岁，但我几乎和

她一样高了，

昨天下午我妈妈带我

去伦敦看牙医，

他发现一个洞是在后

牙上，然后他填补了它，没有对

我造成太大

伤害，然后我们去了一家 咖啡厅

我吃了香蕉片，妈妈喝了

杯咖啡

，我们起身离开的时候已经是

六点左右了，当我们从咖啡厅出来时，天

开始下雨了，我们必须

打车，

妈妈说我们 戴着

普通的帽子和外套，

雨下得很

大，为什么我们不回到咖啡馆

等它停下来我说

我想要另一个香蕉分裂

它们很漂亮它不会

停止

我妈妈说 我们必须回家

我们站在雨中的人行道上

寻找 乘坐出租车，

很多人经过，但

车内都有乘客

我希望我们有一辆带司机的车

我妈妈说 就在那时

一个男人向我们走来 他是个小男人

，他很老，大概

70 岁或更多 礼貌地举起帽子

，对我妈妈说对不起，

我真的希望你能原谅我，

他留着漂亮的白胡子，浓密的

白眉毛

，一张满是皱纹的粉红色脸，

他躲在一把伞下，把伞

高高举过头顶，是的，

我妈妈说 很酷很

冷漠 不知道能不能请你一个小

忙 他

说只是一个很小的忙

我看到我妈妈怀疑地看着他

她是一个多疑的人 我的妈妈

她特别怀疑两个

奇怪的男人和煮过的东西 鸡蛋

当她把煮熟的鸡蛋的顶部切掉

时，她用勺子在里面戳了一下

，好像期待找到一只老鼠或

什么东西

和陌生男人

在一起

成为

[音乐]

这个小老头特别

好

他很有礼貌 他说得

很好 他穿着得体 他是个真正的

绅士 我之所以知道他是个

绅士

是因为他的鞋子 你

总能从他的鞋子看出一个绅士

穿

是我妈妈最喜欢的另

一句话

这个男人穿着漂亮的棕色鞋子

事情的真相是这个小

男人在说

我已经让自己陷入了困境

我需要一些帮助 不要降低太多 我

向你保证

这几乎没有 事实上，但我确实

需要它，你看

像我这样的老人夫人经常变得非常

健忘，

我母亲的下巴抬起，

她整个鼻子都在盯着他，

这是一件可怕的事情

，我母亲冷冷的鼻子凝视

大多数人在

她把它给他们时都会完全

崩溃我曾经看到我自己的女主人开始结巴，像白痴一样简单，

当我妈妈给她一个非常肮脏的

冰冷鼻子

时，人行道上的小男人

带着 头上的雨伞

没有眨眼，他温和地

笑了笑

，说我求你相信，女士

，我没有在街上打嗝的习惯，

告诉他们我的烦恼我希望

不要我妈妈说

我感觉很好 妈妈的犀利让我很尴尬，

我想对她妈妈说，看在

老天的份上，

他是一个非常非常老的男人，而且他很可爱

很有礼貌，

而且他遇到了一些麻烦，所以

不要对他那么残忍，

但我什么也没说

小个子把雨伞从

一只手移到另一只手上

我从来没有忘记过 他说

你从来没有忘记我妈妈

严厉地问过

我的钱包 他说

我一定把它放在另一件夹

克里 这不是最愚蠢的吗

你要我给你钱吗

我妈妈说 哦

天哪 意思是 不 他哭了

上帝禁止我这样做

那你问我妈妈说

什么 快点 我们都湿透

了 我知道 你是

他说的，这就是我离开的原因 把我的

这

把伞给你敲响，保护你，

永远保留

，

只要我妈妈说的

话，只要你给我一

英镑

的出租车费，只是为了让我回家，

我妈妈仍然怀疑，

如果你没有 首先是钱

她说那你是怎么到这里的

现在回家了，我妈妈问

哦，我希望我能，他说

我希望我能，但我不认为我

能用我这些愚蠢的老腿做到这一点

我已经走得太远了

我妈妈站在那里咀嚼她的

下唇，

她 开始融化了一点，我可以

看到

，拿一把雨伞躲在下面的想法

一定很吸引她。

小男人说这是一把可爱的雨伞，

所以我注意到我妈妈说

这是丝绸，他说我可以看到

那你为什么不接受呢，女士，他说

我花了 20 多英镑，我保证 你，

但那不重要，只要我

能

回家休息一下我的这些老腿

我看到妈妈的手在

摸她钱包

的扣子 她看到我看着她

时间，她

确切地

知道我在告诉她什么现在听

妈妈我在告诉她你根本

不能这样利用一个疲惫的老人

这是一件糟糕的事情

我妈妈停下来回头看着我

然后她说 小个子，我

觉得这不太对，但我

应该从你那里拿一把

价值 20 英镑的

雨伞 一百

万年后

我做梦也想不到我永远不会像

这样

收你的钱亲爱的女士，

把雨从你的肩膀上拿走

我妈妈给了我一个胜利的侧身

看看你是她告诉我你是

错了，

他想让我拥有它，

她钓到了她的 pur 她拿出一张

英镑钞票

她把它递给小个子 他

把它拿

过来递给她 把伞

放在口袋里 英镑

举起帽子 迅速从

腰间鞠了一躬 说

谢谢 女士 谢谢然后他

走了 在这里，保持干燥，我妈妈的

宝贝，

我妈妈说，我们不是很幸运，

我买不起之前从来没有一把丝绸伞

，

为什么一开始你对他如此可怕

我问我想满足自己，他

不是'

她说我是个骗子，他是个绅士，

我很高兴我能帮助他

是的，妈妈，我说她是个真正的

绅士

如果他不是一个有

头衔的人哈里戈兹沃西爵士或类似的人会感到

惊讶

是的妈妈这对你来说将是一个很好的教训

她继续从不急于事情

总是花时间当你

总结某人时

他们从不

犯错误他去了 我说看看

他在哪里穿过

海峡

天哪，妈妈，他进来的

时候真匆忙，我们看着这个小个子，

当他到达街道的另一边时，他敏捷地在车流中进进出出，

他左转走得很快，

在我看来，他并不

累 你妈妈

我妈妈没有回答他看起来

不像是想叫

出租车我说

我妈妈一动不动地站着，

僵硬地

盯着街对面的那个小

男人，

我们可以清楚地看到他他在一个

很棒的地方

快点 他在人行道上熙熙攘攘，

避开其他行人，

像行军中的士兵一样挥动手臂

他正在做妈妈说的

事 和我一起，她拉着我的胳膊

，我们一起过马路，然后

我们向左转，

你能看到他吗？我妈妈问

是的，他在那儿，他在下一条街上右转，

他来到拐角处

右转，小男人在

前面大约 20 码 我们 他

像兔子一样

飞快地往前走，我们不得不走得很快才能

跟上他。

雨下得比

以往任何时候都大

，我可以看到雨从

他的帽檐滴落到他的肩膀上，

但我们在下面又舒服又干 我们

可爱的大丝绸伞

他怎么了我妈妈

说如果他转身看到我们

怎么办 我问我不在乎他有没有

几乎把我们吓跑了

他是一个赤裸裸的骗子他是个骗子

你的意思是他不是一个绅士

我要求保持安静她说

在下一个路口那个小男人

再次右转

然后他左转然后右

我不会放弃 现在我妈妈说

他失踪了 我哭

了 他去哪儿了 他进了那扇门

我妈妈说我看见他进了那间

房子 天哪 这是一家酒吧

那是一家大写的酒吧 就

在前面它说

那只红狮你不是 进去了

吗，妈妈，不，她说

我们会从 o 开始观看 外面

的酒吧前面有一个大平板玻璃窗

，虽然里面有点湿气，但

如果我们靠近

一点，我们可以很好地看穿它，我们挤在

酒吧窗外，

我紧紧抓住妈妈的胳膊 大

雨滴在我们的雨伞上发出很大的声音

我说他在那边

我们正在查看的房间里挤满

了

人和香烟烟雾 而我们的小男人

正处于其中

他现在没有帽子和外套

当他到达挖掘机时，他正从人群中挤向酒吧 他将

双手放在吧台上

并与酒保说话 我看到他的嘴唇

在他下订单时

在动 酒保转身离开他

几秒钟

然后走了过来 带着一个小杯子回来了

干净的威士忌 酒保没有给他

任何

零钱 必须是高音威士忌 我妈妈

说

什么是高音 我问

了三倍于正常量度

她回答 小个子

拿起酒杯放在唇边

他倾斜 它轻轻地然后他把它倾斜得

越来越高

，很快所有的威士忌都

在他的喉咙里消失了

，这是一种

非常昂贵的饮料

花了他一磅多 我

说花了他一把 20 磅的丝绸伞

所以我妈妈说

他一定很

生气 小个子站在吧台

边 手里拿着空杯子 他现在微笑

着 有点金色 快乐的光芒

在

他粉红色的圆脸上蔓延 我看到他的

舌头伸出来舔着白胡子

，好像在寻找最后

一滴珍贵的威士忌

[音乐]

他慢慢地转身离开吧台，

慢慢地向前走

穿过人群回到挂他的帽子和

外套的地方

他戴上帽子他穿上外套

然后以一种非常酷和

随意的方式

，你几乎没有注意到任何东西

他从衣帽架上拿起

许多湿雨伞中的一把 挂

在那里

然后离开他走了你

看到我妈妈

尖叫你看到他没有嘘

我低声说他要出来

我们放下雨伞遮住

脸从伞下向外张望

他来了但他从不看我们的

方向

他打开 他的新雨伞顶在头上

，沿着他来的路疾驰而去，

所以这就是他的小游戏，

我妈妈说整洁

我说超级好，

我们跟着他回到了

我们第一次见到他的主要街道

，我们看着他继续前进 这次

毫不费力地

把他的新雨伞换成了另一张

英镑钞票，他是一个瘦高个子

，连外套也没有

帽子

，交易一

完成，我们的小个子就小跑

下 街上

，迷路在人群中，但这次

他朝相反的方向走，

你看他有多

聪明 我敢打赌他会

为下雨天疯狂祈祷你