Oprah Winfreys Life Advice Will Leave You SPEECHLESS MUST WATCH
having compassion for other people is at
the top of that list
i would say commitment is at the top of
that list and also a spirit of
constructive engagement and by
compassion i don’t just mean sympathy it
certainly isn’t pity it’s being present
and it’s also
feeling with other beings you know
during the years of the oprah show i
interviewed over 37 000 people
one-on-one
but during all those years of talking to
over 37 000 people one on one
i could feel what they were feeling so
strongly sometimes it made me sick
literally
so i had to learn how to
feel how others were feeling feel with
others which
is which is what it means to be
compassionate to feel with others
without taking in all of their stuff
being compassionate means i feel with
you
it is one of the greatest qualities in
the world to have if you’re going to be
majoring in what it takes to be a great
human being i feel with you
means i not only am willing to walk in
your shoes
it means my heart beats with yours
it means i see myself in you it means
i
may not have shared that circumstance
but i know what heartbreak feels like i
know what pain feels like and all pain
is the same
it means
i can feel your will to want to do
better and be better and i feel and i am
with you in spite of everything that’s
happened to you
i
feel your need to rise i want to help
you rise i want to rise with you
i had a job until i could figure out
what it was really
what that gave my life its purpose and
meaning
and um i had gotten demoted in my job in
baltimore as an anchor woman because
as they hired me and then they decided i
was the wrong color
and i was the wrong size and i was the
wrong you know i had lots of problems
and they were trying to take me off the
air
and um
i was making 22 000 a year i thought i
was in heaven because i was making my
age
that was as big as my dream was just to
make my age
and then i did this they they put me on
a talk show one morning because they
didn’t know what to do with me
and and i was interviewing the carvel
ice cream man it was a local talk show
and
benny who was mrs
chancellor’s
butler or something on all my children
anyway my soap our opera star who wasn’t
the lead star remember benny
benny and the caraval ice cream men
that’s how i cut my teeth and i finished
that show so it’s not about the
the stars themselves or whoever the
guests were but i felt like this is what
i’m supposed to do
all these years have been misplaced in
news because i couldn’t relate to news i
was a news reporter
and i’d be out on the stories and i’d be
crying with the people
and i felt that i was exploiting the
people with news i couldn’t
you know put a microphone in people’s
face when they were going through
tragedies and stuff i just was so
emotional i was always getting little
notes from my boss about cut that out
you need to stop so but the moment i did
that talk show i felt like oh
i can be myself
and that was august 14th 1978
and that was the beginning of fulfilling
the calling and so since that time
since that time august 14th 1978 i’ve
never had a problem with energy now when
i was working in news i used to be
exhausted all the time because i just
exhausted all the time because i hated
it
and the reason i didn’t quit is because
i’m not a quitter number one and because
my father was like did not quit that job
you’re making 22 dollars a year
who’s gonna play a black one between two
thousand dollars a year you’re never
gonna make make that kind of money again
you better save half of it so
i i was reluctant to quit and think
about doing something else because i
thought okay everybody wants to be an
anchor woman at the time that was like
supposedly a big deal being an anchor
woman so i thought okay i won’t i’ll
just stay with this until i can figure
out what is the best thing to do
and interestingly enough i was applying
for what i wanted to do i felt like i
needed to be able to talk and at the
time the only thing was available was um
like good morning america orthodoxia so
i called up this agent and i asked if he
would accept my tape because i wanted to
be like a substitute for brian gumbel
and he said to me
there was only going to be one brian
gumbel and so there wasn’t going to be
another one that they weren’t going to
let another black person on that show he
said that to me
and um interestingly enough he called me
last week because somebody else mentions
it to say he never said it but he did
say it and i said to him you know what
if you’re ever told that you never
forget it if somebody ever says to you
if you’re ever rejected in that way you
never ever ever forget it i said but
it’s okay i did okay you did okay
it’s all right but the answer to your
question is if you can find what is your
passion if you find what you love you
never get tired or if you do get tired
if you you’re fueled by the energy of
your work
so i know that i’m doing exactly what
i’m supposed to be doing at this time
i also know that what this this show can
do in terms of being a voice and
changing the world it’s just the
beginning of what this show can do it’s
fun to do things like this
but uh and it’s necessary to do things
like this in order to be able to do the
bigger grander things to change what
happens to to the face of children in
africa for example what happens to
education with kids in this country so i
believe that
that what has happened to me is really
the beginning
of the greater passion to come
but if you find out what you’re supposed
to do and you know what you’re supposed
to do by how it feels
you know people wait on the voice of god
to be some the moses in burning bush i
think that was only bible talk
you know because he doesn’t come to
burning bushes for people he comes
through your heart
he speaks through your heart through
your feelings and so you know what if
you’re doing the right thing if it feels
like it’s right to you and when you hit
the thing that feels right when you know
it’s the right thing you would you know
it’s right because it gives you your
juice
and you know it’s right because you
would do it for nothing
you would do it for nothing and find a
way to be able just to do it
in order to be able to continue
that’s how you know you’re doing what
you’re supposed to be doing
so how do i define success
let me tell you money’s pretty nice
i’m not going to stand up here and tell
you that it’s not about money because
money is very nice
i like money
it’s good for buying things
but having a lot of money does not
automatically
make you a successful person
what you want
is money
and meaning
you want your work to be meaningful
because meaning is what brings the real
richness to your life
what you really want
is to be surrounded by people you trust
and treasure and by people who cherish
you
that’s when you’re really rich
for me colored girl negro child
growing up in mississippi
that one of the greatest gifts i was
ever afforded was not to have been put
in a segregated school system
had i been put in a segregated school
and taught in a segregated school system
that said you’re less than because
you’re a woman and you’re less than
because you’re a colored woman
i probably wouldn’t be here today i
would have had to then overcome that
belief that conditioning of a belief but
because
i was raised by a grandmother
who
raised me in the church
and
i went to church
sunday school
lived in the church
and i would sit there
second pew
on the right
third row
every sunday
just
taking it all in and i would listen to
the stories listen to the bible stories
and i would hear
that through god all things are possible
i would hear the story of jesus talking
about
if you have the faith of a mustard seed
and you know as many years later that i
actually
saw a mustard seed i could not believe
what a mustard seed actually looked like
have you ever seen a mustard seed
now jesus said if you had the faith of a
mustard seed you could move mountains
and anything was possible now i heard
this as a kid and i really believed it
and so the question is what do you
believe
do you believe that you are worthy
of happiness
do you believe that happiness success
abundance
comfort fulfillment peace
joy
love
is a part of your birthright
is that what you believe
or do you believe something else because
you will
manifest
the life that you believe
i’ve always known that no matter what my
belief is i’m going to be all right why
because i have that faith of a mustard
seed
i have always known this about celebrity
the real
power of being
somebody that somebody knows and i
really think that the only difference
between being famous and not is that
more people know your name
so the only difference
between understanding that
is understanding that what selma has
done what susan has done what anna has
done rebecca has done what jim has done
what i’ve done
you too can do
because true philanthropy comes from
living from the heart of yourself
and giving what you have been given
how will you do that
how will you use
your personality
the energy of your personality to serve
that which is your soul’s calling
i know this for sure
any life
no matter how fantastic it is
how glorious it seems how much attention
you receive how much square footage you
have
any life and every life is enhanced by
the sharing and the giving and the
opening up of the heart space
your life gets better when you can find
a way to share it with someone else
so what we’ve done you can do the real
empowerment comes when every person
leaves this room
and makes a decision
makes a decision
maybe that decision is that you will
write a check and support some of the
wonderful organizations you’ve heard
here today
but the true decision is
how will you use yourself
how will you use everything that you
have been given
to serve that which is greater than
yourself
how will you use that to become
truly
authentically empowered
now
it is a beautiful thing to receive an
award and to be on the cover of variety
thank you very much
it’s a beautiful thing
but the true reward is in the lives that
you are able to touch and the people who
you know you have impacted
i think some people think that are under
the impression that i was born empowered
that i was born
coming out of the womb ready to
interview a klansman
then cut to commercial we’ll be right
back
but the truth is
i know very well what it’s like to be
marginalized to be told either
subtly or quite directly that my
contribution
isn’t or wasn’t welcome
that my face was invisible and that my
needs were an affront so back when i was
doing the news in baltimore i asked to
be paid the same as my co-anchor who did
exactly the same job as i was doing and
i
expected that i would be compensated so
i went in and i asked that i would get
the same amount of money so he was doing
the same job i was doing except that he
called me babe all the time
anyway i was told by my news director
and by the general manager because first
i went to the news director then i was
general manager and i was told that
because i was a single woman
who didn’t have a mortgage and i didn’t
have kids that i was not entitled to
earn the same kind of money as the man
who was sitting next to me
doing the same thing
and i realized in that moment that my
employers did not get it they did not
understand my value
but you know what i did
so cut to am chicago the team’s hard at
work and they had been working for a
long time
and after a year or so
we were asked to be syndicated that work
began to pay off and before long we were
now no longer called am chicago or the
national oprah winfrey show i got a
raise this is before i own myself
but my producers did not so i went into
the boss at the time
and i asked that my producers who
incidentally were all female
i asked that they would be given a pay
raise increase and my boss this is in
1986 said why
they’re only girls
what do they need more money for
girls
uh i’ve used the word affectionately
sometimes referring to women as girls
and
there was no affection in his tone it
was absolutely condescending so
you know it takes a while to develop a
voice
but once you have it you damn sure
better use it on stuff that matters
so i took a deep breath in that moment
and said
either they’re going to get raises
or i’m going to sit down
i’m not going to work if they don’t get
paid more
i would like to believe that i could
have spoken that kind of truth to
misogyny even if i’d been all by myself
but here i was on the brink of finally
getting what i really wanted and had
been working uh many years for a
national show
i mean i might have been too intimidated
to stand my own ground against this guy
if i were actually alone but here’s the
thing you’re never alone
you’re never alone
the sovereign sound of maya angelou’s
voice
was pushing me forward that day
whispering
i come as one
but i stand as ten thousand
so when i was faced with the opportunity
to advocate for my producers
i silently called on some of the ten
thousand
and walked into my boss’s office
hand in spirit
with the women who had come before me
i could feel bessie smith
and billy holliday and ella fitzgerald
and pearl bailey and sharavon and lena
horn clutching their green books looking
for a place to eat while they sang in
supper clubs for whites only and i could
feel
reese taylor and rosa parks refusing to
relinquish their dignity in the face of
death threats all these women were with
me that day walking into the office in
chicago
as was diana carroll and petula clark
and joan baez and mary tyler moore and
mom’s maybelli and barbara walters and
all of the astonishing women whose names
none of us will ever even know despite
their sacrifice
and i’m pretty sure
i even heard shirley chisholm
urging me on with this thought
if they don’t give you a seat at the
table
bring a folding chair
and i understood
i understood that there were so many
times that many women from my mother’s
generation and god knows my
grandmother’s generation who were forced
to grit their teeth and just take it
because standing up for themselves
wasn’t even an option
the risk was too great
and they knew it but they also knew in
their bones what my dear friend maya
put so eloquently into words when she
says you may not control all the events
that happened to you
but you can decide not to be reduced by
them
because these women and so many others
like them made the decision not to allow
themselves to be reduced by the many
injustices they were subjected to
i found the strength to act if not just
for myself
not just for my producers but for all
the women who in their ingenious ways
subverted the rules
laid the foundation and pushed the
envelope just a little bit further for
me
if i leave you with nothing else it’s
just know this for sure
there is not one
thing
that has ever happened to you
not one experience
not one encounter not one crisis not one
joyful thing that hasn’t
happened
just to make you better and help you
rise
every single thing you’re calling in
whether you know it or not when you
figure out that you are calling it in
you actually start meditating or praying
or doing or having a spiritual practice
which is the number one thing you need
if you want to be successful in the
world you need something that gives back
and nourishes you
regardless of what you call that you
need to you need to fill your cup so
that you can be so full your cup run is
over and you have enough to give to
other people if you don’t fill your cup
you end up dried up
you end up tired exhausted and don’t
have enough to give to other people you
end up resentful every time somebody
asks you because your cup is empty and
now they want some of yours
so your number one job your number one
job is to fill
your cup
and make yourself whole
that’s your job
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