Jordan Petersons Life Advice Will Change Your Future MUST WATCH
the first rule
which is kind of a comical rule is stand
up straight with your shoulders back
you want to present yourself to the
world in a manner that
that doesn’t disgrace you in some sense
that that might be a good way to think
about it and
you don’t want to disgrace yourself
because the consequence of disgrace is
emotional dysregulation more pain less
positive emotion
and so the best way to present yourself
is to stand up forthrightly
and to stretch out you know and to
occupy some space
and to to to you make yourself sort of
vulnerable by doing that because you
open up the front of your body right
but it’s a sign of confidence and that
way people are most
likely to give you the benefit of the
doubt and that’s a good way to start
regulating your mood but not only does
it directly regulate your mood to stand
up
because it’s so tightly associated like
posture reflection is associated with
serotonin and emotional regulation
but also because if you straighten up
and you present yourself in that manner
then other people are more likely to
take you
seriously and that’s another way that
you can
at least give yourself the bloody
benefit of the doubt right
and and and and confront the world in a
courageous manner
and that’s a really good way of also of
of
figuring out how to establish yourself
in multiple competence hierarchies
because one of the general rules of
thumb
about how to be successful is to
confront things that frighten you
forthrightly and with courage
and that’s kind of a universal strategy
for success
rule number two is uh treat yourself
like you’re someone that you care about
you should figure out how you would like
to be treated
like you were taking care of yourself
not how you would like people to respond
to you
it’s more important than that it’s like
imagine you had a child that you really
cared for
and and someone said well people will
treat this child exactly
like you want them to but you have to
figure out what that is and so then
you’d have to sit down for like a month
and you think okay well
how do you want your child to be treated
you don’t want everyone just to be nice
to him you know you want people to
challenge him and
you want people to discipline him and
you want people to tell him when he’s
wrong it’s like
you don’t just want everyone to be nice
that’s that’s pathetic it’s pathetic
there’s no challenge in that and so well
you want to treat other people like you
would like to be treated well then you
have to figure out how would you like to
be treated
and well you’d like people to fawn all
over you and just lay everything at your
feet it’s like no
that’s that’s not something you’d wish
for for someone that you were taking
care of
and then then there’s an additional
problem which is it’s often the case
that people will treat other people
better than they treat themselves that
happens extremely
frequently so one of the things i
pointed out chapter two was that
if you have a dog and you take him to a
vet and the vet gives you
your prescription medicine you’ll go buy
the medicine and you will give it to the
dog and you will do it properly
but if you go yourself to a doctor and
you get a
prescription there’s one that there’s a
30 chance you won’t even pick up the
medication
and if you do there’s a 50 chance that
you won’t administer it to yourself
properly and so i really thought about
that when i first came across that
statistic it really it was another one
of those little facts i thought what the
hell’s up with that it’s like
you’ll do it for your dog so obviously
you’ll do it for something you care
about and you’re conscientious enough so
you’ll actually do it so like
why wouldn’t you do it for you your dog
likes you you know even your dog would
rather that you did but but you don’t
you don’t
and and it’s actually one of the reasons
that modern medicine doesn’t work nearly
as well as it could because people just
don’t take their medication
and it’s not only because they don’t
take care of themselves there’s some
skepticism about doctors but
you could be just as skeptical about the
vet
in rule two it’s a bit of a meditation
on why people don’t like themselves very
much
and i think there’s two reasons really
and one is that we’re
we’re fragile and damageable and
imperfect
in multiple dimensions all the time and
that often just gets worse it gets lots
of things get worse as you get old for
example so
it’s not necessarily that easy for a
self-conscious being
who’s extraordinarily aware of his or
her own
fragility and but not just fragility um
foolishness and errors his like you know
yourself better than anyone else knows
you and
you know you you might have a certain
amount of dislike for someone you know
because of something they did but you
know everything you did
jesus that’s a drag man you know you
have to carry that along behind it’s
like really i did that you know
and then so there’s that it’s like
you’re you’re weak and kind of useless
and prone to temptation
and you know all those things you know
that just shouldn’t be that way and then
you’re also capable of pretty vicious
acts of malevolence and so you also know
that about yourself and so
it’s a real existential question for
people like why the hell should you take
care of something as sorry and wretched
as you are
and that’s really what the chapter is
about it’s because the answer in the
chapter is yeah yeah yeah you know
you’re
first of all yes you’re pretty useless
and terrible but so is everyone else and
that’s actually an existential
problem right and what i mean by that
it’s a problem that every human being
has
always had and always will so it’s not
just you
it’s a universal problem and that
there’s there’s an answer to that and
one of them is to
uh what is to say love the sinner but
hate the sin
it’s something like that is that despite
the fact that you’re not all that you
could be
the proper attitude to have towards
yourself is the attitude that you would
have
towards someone that you genuinely cared
for and that it’s incumbent on you to
act as if you genuinely care for
yourself
just like you would act towards someone
that you actually cared about some other
person and so it’s a reversal in some
sense of the golden rule right
and and it’s a discussion of why that’s
necessary and also
more than that it’s a discussion of why
why you have a moral obligation to do
that
it’s not just that you should because it
would be better for you you actually
have a moral obligation to do that i
think because
you make the world a much better place
much worse place if you don’t take care
of yourself
so you should bloody well take care of
yourself you know because
well that’s what the chapters about it’s
partly because you have something
valuable to bring into the world
that’s the thing about being an
individual it’s the thing that western
civilization has always recognized that
as an individual
you have a light that you have to bring
into the world and that if you don’t
bring it into the world
the world is a dimmer place and that’s a
bad thing because when the world is a
dim place it can get very very very dark
and so it’s neces not just so that you
feel better and not just so that you’re
a number one lobster not none of those
things
you need to take care of yourself
because you’re in the best position to
do that
and it’s necessary for you to take care
of yourself despite the fact that
we’re mortal and vulnerable and
self-conscious and capable
not only capable of doing terrible
things but actually do them despite all
that
you you’re still you still have that
responsibility
and so i wanted to you know hit the
question as hard as i can to try to
figure out
why people are have are contemptuous of
themselves
and there’s plenty of reason that’s for
sure but the reasons do not justify
the mistreatment of yourself it’s as
simple as that it’s not a good strategy
and the next rule is make friends with
people who want the best for you
and that’s a meditation on my own
childhood and adolescence to some degree
i had friends who wanted the best for me
and friends who didn’t
and you know they were friends who
some of them were aiming up and some of
them were aiming down and if you have a
friend that’s aiming down and you do
something that’s aiming up then
they’re generally not that happy about
it you know they try to top your
accomplishment with one of their own
hypothetical or real or put down what
you’re doing or offer you a cigarette if
you’re trying to quit and you’ve kind of
done that successfully or a drink if
you’ve
been drinking too much and are trying to
stop being an alcoholic you know
or or yeah they’re cynical and bitter
and
and devoted towards no good and
sometimes that’s family members too and
sometimes it’s even part of you you know
but this chapter is a injunction to
people is like
like you have an ethical responsibility
to take care of yourself you have an
ethical responsibility to surround
yourself with people
who have the courage and and
faith and wisdom to wish you well when
you’ve done something good
and to stop you when you’re doing
something destructive and if your
friends aren’t like that then they’re
not your friends
and maintaining your friendships with
them might not even be in their interest
number four is uh compare yourself to
who you were yesterday
not to who someone else is today see i’d
been taught
as a psychologist that most human
characteristics
were normally distributed right so most
people were average and some people were
extreme that that’s a pretty or a normal
distribution
intelligence is like that and height
there’s more people of
average height than very tall or very
short and weight is like that and
lots of things are normally distributed
and psychologists tend to assume that
everything is but it isn’t
creative products are distributed in a
pareto distribution and that’s a whole
different thing and it’s really
important to know this it’s another
fundamental
fact the knowledge of which can sort of
transform the way you conceptualize
let’s say
the political landscape so here here’s
an example of the pareto distribution
huh
you know there’s a rule of thumb that if
you run a company that 20 of your
employees do 80
of the work or the twenty percent of
your customers are responsible for
eighty percent of your sales
or the twenty percent of them are
responsible for eighty percent of the
customer
service calls same thing but that’s not
exactly the rule the rule is worse than
that
the rule is in a given domain
the square root of the number of people
operating in that domain do half the
productive work
so you think well you have 10 employees
three of them do half the work it’s like
yeah
okay what if you have 100 employees then
10 of them do
half the work
you