The Landlady Audiobook Short Story by Roald Dahl Learn English Through Story
good morning oh and in case i don’t see
you good afternoon good evening and good
night
the landlady by roald dahl
[Music]
billy weaver had traveled down from
london on the slow afternoon train with
a change at swindon on the way
and by the time he got to bath it was
about nine o’clock in the evening and
the moon was coming up out of a clear
starry sky over the houses opposite the
station entrance
but the air was deadly cold and the wind
was like a flat blade of ice on his
cheeks
excuse me he said but is there a fairly
cheap hotel not too far away from here
try the bell and dragon the porter
answered pointing down the road they
might take you in it’s about a quarter
of a mile along on the other side billy
thanked him and picked up his suitcase
and set out to walk the quarter mile to
the bell and dragon
he had never been to bath before he
didn’t know anyone who lived there but
mr greenslade at the head office in
london had told him it was a splendid
city
find your own lodgings he had said and
then go along and report to the branch
manager as soon as you’ve got yourself
settled
billy was 17 years old he was wearing a
new navy blue overcoat
a new brown trilby hat and a new brown
suit and he was feeling fine
he walked briskly down the street he was
trying to do everything briskly these
days
briskness he had decided was the one
common characteristic of all successful
businessmen
the big shots up at the head office were
absolutely fantastically brisk all the
time they were amazing
there were no shops in this wide street
that he was walking along
only a line of tall houses on each side
all of them identical
they had porches and pillars and four or
five steps going up to their front doors
and it was obvious that once upon a time
they had been very swanky residences
but now even in the darkness he could
see that the paint was peeling from the
woodwork on their doors and windows and
that the handsome white facades were
cracked and blotchy from neglect
suddenly in a downstairs window that was
brilliantly illuminated by a street lamp
not six yards away billy caught sight of
a printed notice propped up against the
glass in one of the upper panes
it said bed and breakfast
there was a vas of willows tall
and beautiful standing just underneath
the notice
he stopped walking
he moved a bit closer
green curtains some sort of velvety
material were hanging down on either
side of the window
the willows looked wonderful
beside them
he went right up and peered through the
glass into the room
and the first thing he saw was a bright
fire burning in the hearth
on the carpet in front of the fire a
pretty little dash hound was curled up
asleep with its nose tucked into its
belly
the room itself so far as he could see
in the half darkness was filled with
pleasant furniture there was a baby
grand piano and a big sofa and several
plump arm chairs
and in one corner he spotted a large
parrot in a cage
animals were usually a good sign in a
place like this billy told himself
and all in all it looked to him as
though it would be a pretty decent house
to stay in
certainly it would be more comfortable
than the bell and dragon
on the other hand a pub would be more
congenial than a boarding house
there would be beer and darts in the
evenings and lots of people to talk to
and it would probably be a good bit
cheaper too
he had stayed a couple of nights in a
pub once before and he had liked it he
had never stayed in any boarding houses
and
to be perfectly honest he was a tiny bit
frightened of them
the name itself conjured up images of
watery cabbage rapacious land ladies and
a powerful smell of kippers in the
living room
after dithering about like this in the
cold for two or three minutes billy
decided that he would walk on and take a
look at the bell and dragon before
making up his mind
he turned to go
and now a queer thing happened to him
he was in the act of stepping back and
turning away from the window when all at
once his eye was caught and held in the
most peculiar manner by the small notice
that was there
bed and breakfast it said
bed and breakfast bed and breakfast
bed and breakfast
each word was like a large black eye
staring at him through the glass holding
him compelling him forcing him to stay
where he was and not to walk away from
that house
and the next thing he knew he was
actually moving across from the window
to the front door of the house climbing
the steps that led to it and reaching
for the bell
he pressed the bell
far away in a back room he heard it
ringing and then at once it must have
been at once because he hadn’t even had
time to take his finger from the bell
button the door swung open and a woman
was standing there
normally you ring the bell and you have
at least a half minutes wait before the
door opens but this dame was like a
jack-in-the-box he pressed the bell and
out she popped
it made him jump
she was about 45 or 50 years old and the
moment she saw him she gave him a warm
welcoming smile
please come in she said pleasantly she
stepped aside holding the door wide open
and billy found himself automatically
starting forward into the house the
compulsion or more accurately the desire
to follow after her into that house was
extraordinarily strong
i saw the notice in the window he said
holding himself back yes i know
i was wondering about a room it’s all
ready for you my dear she said she had a
round pink face and very gentle blue
eyes
i was on my way to the bell and dragon
billy told her but the notice in your
window
just happened to catch my eye
my dear boy she said why don’t you come
in out of the cold
how much do you charge
five and sixpence a night including
breakfast
it was fantastically cheap it was less
than half of what he had been willing to
pay
if that is too much she added then
perhaps i can reduce it just a tiny bit
do you desire an egg for breakfast eggs
are expensive at the moment it would be
sixpence less without the egg
five and sixpence is fine he answered i
should like very much to stay here i
knew you would
do come in
she seemed terribly nice
she looked exactly like the mother of
one’s best school friend welcoming one
into the house to stay for the christmas
holidays
billy took off his hat and stepped over
the threshold
just hang it there she said and let me
help you with your coat
there were no other hats or coats in the
hall
there were no umbrellas no walking
sticks
nothing
we have it all to ourselves she said
smiling at him over her shoulder she led
the way upstairs you see it isn’t very
often i have the pleasure of taking a
visitor into my little nest
the old girl is slightly dotty billy
told himself but at five and sixpence a
night who gives a damn about that
i should have thought you’d be simply
swamped with applicants he said politely
oh i am my dear i am of course i am but
the trouble is that i’m inclined to be
just a teeny weeny bit choosy and
particular if you see what i mean
ah
yes
but i’m always ready everything is
always ready day and night in this house
just on the off chance that an
acceptable young gentleman will come
along
and it is such a pleasure my dear such a
very great pleasure when now and again i
open the door and i see someone standing
there who was just exactly right
she was halfway up the stairs and she
paused with one hand on the stair rail
turning her head and smiling down at him
with pale lips
like you she added and her blue eyes
traveled slowly all the way down the
length of billy’s body
to his feet
and then up again
on the first floor landing she said to
him
this floor is mine
they climbed up a second flight
and this one is all yours she said
here’s your room
i do hope you’ll like it
she took him into a small but charming
front bedroom switching on the light as
she went in
the morning sun comes right in the
window mr perkins it is mr perkins isn’t
it
no he said it’s weaver oh mr weaver how
nice
i put a water bottle between the sheets
to air them out mr weaver
it’s such a comfort to have a hot water
bottle in a strange bed with clean
sheets
don’t you agree
and you may light the gas fire at any
time if you feel chilly
thank you billy said thank you ever so
much
he noticed that the bedspread had been
taken off the bed and that the bed
clothes had been neatly turned back on
one side all ready for someone to get in
i’m so glad you appeared she said
looking earnestly into his face
i was beginning to get worried
oh that’s all right billy answered
brightly you mustn’t worry about me
he put his suitcase on the chair and
started to open it
and what about supper my dear
did you manage to get anything to eat
before you came here
i’m not a bit hungry thank you he said i
think i’ll just go to bed as soon as
possible because tomorrow i’ve got to
get up rather early and report to the
office
very well then
i’ll leave you now so that you can
unpack
but before you go to bed would you be
kind enough to pop into the sitting room
on the ground floor and sign the book
everyone has to do that because it’s the
law of the land and we don’t want to go
breaking any laws at this stage in the
proceedings do we
she gave him a little wave of the hand
and then went quickly out of the room
and closed the door
now the fact that his landlady appeared
to be slightly off her rocker didn’t
worry billy in the least
after all she was not only harmless
there was no question about that but she
was also quite obviously a kind and
generous soul he guessed that she had
probably lost a son in the war or
something like that and had never got
over it
so a few minutes later after unpacking
his suitcase and washing his hands he
trotted downstairs to the ground floor
and entered the living room his landlady
wasn’t there but the fire was glowing in
the hearth and the little dash hound was
still sleeping in front of it
the room was wonderfully warm and cozy
i’m a lucky fellow he thought rubbing
his hands
this is a bit of all right
he found the guest book lying open on
the piano so he took out his pen and
wrote down his name and address
there were only two other entries above
his on the page and
as one always does with guest books he
started to read them
one was a christopher
mulholland from cardiff
the other was gregory w temple from
bristol that’s funny he thought suddenly
christopher mulholland
it rings a bell
now where on earth had he heard that
rather unusual name before
was he a boy at school
no
was it one of his sister’s numerous
young men perhaps or a friend of his
father’s
no
no it wasn’t any of those
he glanced down again at the book
christopher mulholland
231
cathedral road cardiff
gregory w temple
27 sycamore drive bristol
as a matter of fact
now he came to think of it he wasn’t at
all sure that the second name didn’t
have almost as much of a familiar ring
about it as the first
gregory temple he said aloud searching
his memory
christopher mulholland
uh such charming boys a voice behind him
answered and he turned and saw his
landlady sailing into the room with a
large silver tray in her hands
she was holding it well out in front of
her and rather high up as though the
tray were a pair of reins on a frisky
horse
they sound somehow familiar he said they
do
how interesting
i’m almost positive i’ve heard those
names before somewhere
isn’t that queer
maybe it was in the newspapers
they weren’t famous in any way were they
i mean famous cricketers or footballers
or something like that
famous she said
setting the tea tray down on the low
table in front of the sofa
oh no i don’t think they were famous but
they were
extraordinarily handsome
both of them i can promise you that they
were tall and young and handsome my dear
just exactly like you
once more billy glanced down at the book
look here he said noticing the dates
this last entry is over two years old
is it
yes indeed and christopher mull hollands
is nearly a year before that
more than three years ago
dear me she said
shaking her head and heaving a dainty
little sigh
i would never have thought it how time
does fly away from us all doesn’t it mr
wilkins
it’s weaver billy said w-e-a-v-e-r
oh of course it is she cried sitting
down on the sofa how silly of me i do
apologize in one ear and out the other
that’s me miss weaver
you know something billy said something
that’s really quite extraordinary about
all this
no dear i don’t
well you see both of these names
mulholland and temple
i not only seem to remember each of them
separately so to speak but somehow or
other
in some peculiar way
they both appear to be sort of connected
together as well
as though they were both famous for the
same sort of thing if you see what i
mean like
like dempsey and tony for example or
churchill and roosevelt
how amusing she said but come over here
now dear and sit down beside me on the
sofa and i’ll give you a nice cup of tea
and a ginger biscuit before you go to
bed
oh he really shouldn’t bother billy said
i didn’t mean you to do anything like
that
he stood by the piano watching her as
she fussed about with the cups and
saucers
he noticed that she had small white
quickly moving hands and red fingernails
i’m almost positive it was in the
newspapers i saw them billy said i’ll
think of it in a second i’m sure i will
there is nothing more tantalizing than a
thing like this which lingers just
outside the borders of one’s memory he
hated to give up
now wait a minute he said wait just a
minute
mulholland christopher mulholland wasn’t
that the name of the eaton school boy
who was on a walking tour through the
west country and then all of a sudden
milk she said and sugar
yes please and then all of a sudden
eaten schoolboy she said
oh no my dear that can’t possibly be
right because mr mulholland was
certainly not an eaton schoolboy when he
came to me he was a cambridge
undergraduate
come over here now and sit next to me
and warm yourself in front of this
lovely fire
come on your tea is all ready for you
she patted the empty place beside her on
the sofa and she sat there smiling at
billy and waiting for him to come over
he crossed the room slowly and sat down
on the edge of the sofa
she placed his teacup on the table in
front of him
there we are she said
how nice and cozy this is isn’t it
neither of them spoke
but billy knew that she was looking at
him her body was half turned towards him
and he could feel her eyes resting on
his face watching him over the rim of
her teacup
now and again he caught a whiff of a
peculiar smell that seemed to emanate
directly from her person
it was not in the least unpleasant and
it reminded him well
he wasn’t quite sure what it reminded
him of pickled walnuts new leather
or was it the corridors of a hospital
mr mulholland was a great one for his
tea she said at length
never in my life have i seen anyone
drink as much tea as dear sweet mr
mulholland
i suppose he left fairly recently billy
said he was still puzzling his head
about the two names he was positive now
that he had seen them in the newspapers
in the headlines
left she said arching her eyebrows but
my dear boy he never left he’s still
here mr temple is also here they’re on
the third floor both of them together
billy set down his cup slowly on the
table and stared at his landlady
she smiled back at him and then she put
out one of her white hands and patted
him comfortingly on the knee
how old are you my dear she asked
seventeen
17 she cried
oh it’s the perfect age
mr mulholland was also 17 but i think he
was a trifle shorter than you are in
fact i’m sure he was and his teeth
weren’t quite so white
you have the most beautiful teeth mr
weaver did you know that
they’re not as good as they look billy
said
they’ve got simply masses of fillings in
them at the back
mr temple of course was a little older
she said ignoring his remark
he was actually 28 and yet i never would
have guessed it if he hadn’t told me
never in my whole life
there wasn’t a blemish on his body
a what billy said his skin was just like
a baby’s
there was a pause
billy picked up his teacup and took
another sip of his tea then he set it
down again gently on its saucer he
waited for her to say something else but
she seemed to have lapsed into another
of her silences
he sat there
staring straight ahead of him into the
far corner of the room biting his lower
lip
that parrot he said at last you know
something it had me completely fooled
when i first saw it through the window
from the street i could have sworn it
was alive alas no longer it’s most
terribly clever the way it’s been done
he said it doesn’t look in the least bit
dead who did it i did
you did of course she said
and have you met my little basil as well
she nodded towards the dash hound curled
up so comfortably in front of the fire
billy looked at it and suddenly he
realized that this animal had all the
time been just as silent and motionless
as the parrot
he put out a hand and touched it gently
on the top of its back
the back was hard and cold
and when he pushed the hair to one side
with his fingers he could see the skin
underneath
grayish black and dry and perfectly
preserved
good gracious he said
how absolutely fascinating
he turned away from the dog and stared
with deep admiration that the little
woman beside him on the sofa
it must be most awfully difficult to do
a thing like that
not in the least she said i stuff all my
little pets myself when they pass away
will you have another cup of tea no
thank you billy said
the tea tasted faintly of bitter almonds
and he didn’t much care for it
you did sign the book didn’t you
oh yes
that’s good
because later on if i happen to forget
what you were called then i can always
come down here and look it up
i still do that almost every day with mr
mulholland and mr temple billy said
gregory temple excuse my asking but
haven’t there been any other guests here
except them in the last two or three
years
holding her teacup high in one hand
inclining her head slightly to the left
she looked up at him out of the corners
of her eyes and gave him another gentle
little smile
no my dear she said
only you
[Music]
you