How to Show Respect in English Words Actions
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Well hey there I’m Emma from mmmEnglish
and in this lesson, I’m going to show you how to show respect
in English because it’s something that my students ask me often
because they’ve realised that in English we don’t have many
specific words or pronouns to show respect
like lots of other languages do so I’m going to go over
three main things in this lesson:
how to greet people in a respectful way,
especially people who are older than you or your boss or manager,
your lecturer,
people that you respect and you want to show respect to.
I’ll also show you how we address people respectfully
and how in English our actions are often more important
than words when we’re communicating
and we’re showing respect.
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A little while back, I made a lesson about how to be polite
and show respect in English.
It really focused on how to say no politely,
how to make polite requests and suggestions
but it did get me thinking about showing respect
in English because many other languages have really specific
pronouns or ways to address
older people or people who you respect.
My Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese students will all know
how important those pronouns are when addressing
family members or people who are older than you.
I mean it’s built into your languages, isn’t it?
So how do you do that? How do you show that same respect
when you’re communicating in English?
We don’t have many pronouns that show respect in
general everyday language but you can show respect in other ways
and the most important way to show respect in English is by
greeting someone properly.
It’s going to set the tone for the whole conversation
and most people choose to greet with a really informal
hello, hi, hey.
Casual and friendly way to say hello right?
Perfectly acceptable greeting but if you deliberately want to show
respect to someone you can make your language
a little more formal.
You can say:
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening.
All of these expressions are really common, you know them,
but just by choosing these greetings you’re instantly sounding
more polite and showing more respect
and if you’re meeting someone that you respect for the first time,
you might also add: It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Good afternoon, it’s a pleasure to meet you.
Just remember, you wouldn’t actually say “good night”
when you greet someone right because “good night” indicates
that you’re leaving, it’s a little more like goodbye.
All right let’s talk about addressing someone with respect.
I know in lots of the Asian cultures where I’ve lived there have been
specific pronouns used to show respect especially when you’re
referring to someone who’s older than you, you might say
auntie or uncle.
How do you show respect in your language? Do you have
some similar pronouns like this? Something that you use
to show respect to those who are older?
Let me know down in the comments, I’m really interested to hear
from you.
Like I said in English we don’t have many specific titles that
immediately show respect but there are some exceptions
made for certain professions. So we address doctors by saying
Dr. Jones with their surname.
Maybe for some professors, you might do the same
thing, Professor Saunders.
In a formal situation or definitely at school,
we would use a certain title followed by a person’s name
so it would be Miss
Emma Jakobi or Miss Jakobi for a woman.
Mr Smith
or Mrs Smith if it was a married woman.
Now some teachers and especially teachers at language schools
or even tutors at universities,
they may just prefer you to call them by their first name
and if you’re unsure about what to call them
you can politely ask them by saying:
How should I address you?
Should I call you Mr Turner?
That way, you’ll find out exactly what they expect
and what they feel comfortable with.
Now what I do want to talk to you about are the titles that are not
often used and sometimes can seem so formal
that they make people feel a little uncomfortable
especially if they’re used in the wrong context.
Sir and madam or ma’am
are not very common in Australia or in the UK.
However, they may be heard a little more often in parts of the US
especially in customer service
or with people who are involved in the military.
And I know that for some of you it might seem strange
or even a little rude to call your manager or your boss
by their first name.
You might instinctively want to refer to your boss as
boss.
Good morning boss! Can I help you with that boss?
But to many English speakers, this would feel a little strange.
They may feel more comfortable if you just refer to them by their
first name.
Now the trick is when someone introduces themselves
to you, you just need to listen to the name that they use.
They’re telling you how to address them.
The most respectful thing that you can do
is to call them the name that they have offered to you
because if you choose to call them something else
because you think that’s more respectful,
it’s kind of showing disrespect by not calling them what they want
you to call them.
Excuse me goes a long, long way in English.
When you want to show someone respect, this phrase is essential.
It’s always awkward to interrupt someone when they’re speaking
or maybe when they’re doing something else
especially when you’re talking to your superior at work.
Sometimes it’s got to be done
and the most respectful way to do this is to say:
Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt. Would you mind helping me…?
It’s also a good way to ask someone to move out of the way.
Excuse me, would you mind if I get past?
Oh sure.
It might seem simple but please and thank you are essential too.
English speakers know that as a child this was
one of the first things that you were taught.
When I was growing up my parents were adamant
that my brothers and I were always saying please and thank you
when we wanted something. We wouldn’t get it
without those words.
In some languages, they’re not as important as they are in English.
Please and thank you are just so important in English
when you are trying to show respect.
When you make a really simple request,
if it’s just pass the salt add please.
Please pass the salt.
Could you please pass me the salt?
Could you pass the salt, please?
And then of course, when you get the salt,
you’d say thank you.
And that person, if they’re showing respect will also say
you’re welcome.
These are all really common phrases that are essential
if you are trying to show respect to someone in English.
Now if you remember at the beginning of this lesson I said that
for English speakers, the way that you show respect
is also based on your actions, not just words.
So let’s talk about some examples.
Be on time. Be punctual.
Do you know that word? Punctual.
So if you’re punctual, it means that you’re on time
and I know that for many different cultures it’s not really a big deal
if you’re late but in most English-speaking countries,
people place a lot of emphasis on being on time.
It’s quite disrespectful to be late
and to keep someone waiting for you.
So maybe you’re late to work, you’re late for a class.
It’s just not that acceptable so you want to try and be on time
and if you’re not going to be on time
let them know, send a text, an email, make a call
and let them know that you’re going to be running late.
Five or ten minutes might be ok but anything longer than that
and you’re showing disrespect.
Another important and respectful action that people in
English-speaking countries really value
is listening.
So if someone is talking and you start checking your phone or
doodling on your notepad or talking to a friend,
that is being disrespectful and so in this situation
it’s your actions that is speaking much, much louder than words.
Don’t push in.
Waiting patiently for your turn is a hallmark of respect
in English-speaking cultures. If you push in, you’re sending a
big loud message to everyone else who’s waiting that you don’t
care about them or how long they’ve been waiting.
Now I know that in some cultures it’s completely acceptable
for older people or certain people to move to the front of a line
and to kind of jostle in front of someone but this is extremely
disrespectful in western cultures.
and in English-speaking countries
It is seen as very polite and very respectful to offer your place
to someone who needs it
but not to push in because you’re older or because you need it.
You would always ask politely.
Usually, I have a little challenge at the end for you
but for this lesson, I’d like you to share what is respectful
and disrespectful in your culture.
So down in the comments, can you tell me
how you show respect in your native language or culture?
Do you greet or address people differently
because of their age or their status?
And what actions are seen as disrespectful?
I think it’s fascinating that we all have different ways of showing
respect in our different cultures through language or through our
actions but it is really important to understand and to learn
how to show respect in different cultures and of course,
make sure we’re not being disrespectful.
So I hope this video has given you some new ideas about how you
can show more respect in English,
I’ve given you some great tools to use to greet people respectfully,
to address people respectfully or in the right way
and showing respect through your actions,
the things that you do.
So you know what to do now, you want to take these tools
and go out and test them out in the real world.
And if you haven’t checked out these lessons here yet
I think you should, you’ll love them.
Have an amazing week and I will see you next time!