How to STOP being shy 6 steps to be CONFIDENT
hello everyone and welcome back to
english with lucy today I am going to
talk to you about how you can stop being
shy and start speaking English
confidently my little brother and I were
reading comments on one of my videos the
other day and he pointed out one which
really made me feel sad someone said I
can’t speak English because I am a shy
person and I don’t know if it was the
wording of it but it really broke our
hearts the fact that somebody doesn’t
think they can learn a language because
they are a shy person made me feel
really really sad so I decided to make
this video to help motivate you all
especially you shy people I receive a
lot of messages about confidence people
saying oh I wish I was confident like
you but naturally in certain situations
I can feel so so shy and so so nervous
if you check out the last part of most
of my videos you can see all of the
times that I mix up my words and make
mistakes
it’s completely natural when I have to
speak publicly I often feel so so shy
but there are plenty of things that I do
and I have learnt to do over the past
few years since I started this channel
that have made me a confident person and
I want to share that with you
so let’s get started with the lesson the
first one this is a well-known tip but I
really believe in it fake it till you
make it and most importantly don’t tell
people that you feel shy almost a year
ago I was invited to speak about my
business at my old university I had to
give a 45 minute talk all about me and
my business to a room of so many
students and my parents were watching
and my boyfriend who is now my fiance I
was so nervous but I think I handled it
really really well I didn’t tell anyone
that I was feeling shy
it’s okay to be nervous but don’t say
you’re shy saying you’re nervous is okay
but saying you feel shy I think is quite
a negative thing to say
it might influence the way people think
about you I pretended that I was really
really confident and that I do this kind
of thing all the time when in reality it
was my first time speaking about myself
in front of such a large audience
I was scared of boring everyone I was
scared that the person organizing the
event was going to regret asking me to
speak I was scared of embarrassing
myself in front of my boyfriend
I was scared of disappointing my parents
but I walked in there
head held high I slightly lowered my
voice and I’m pretty convinced that no
one knew I was really really nervous it
was also being filmed and put on YouTube
I will leave the link in the description
box so that was an extra layer of
nervousness for me so what did they do I
pretended I was super confident I tried
to relax how I was standing I tried to
relax my voice I went outside beforehand
just to do some breathing and to relax
myself and it ended up going really
really well so how can this apply to you
not only are you nervous about speaking
to someone but it’s also not your native
language you need to pretend that you’re
confident you can try lowering your
voice slightly so instead of speaking up
here a nervous state you will speak in a
low voice and have it echo across the
room work on your posture feet apart
nice and tall shoulders relaxed really
show the other speaker that you’re
comfortable being there and as I said
before don’t tell anyone you’re shy
because sooner rather than later you
will start to feel more confident you
probably won’t even realize it
and then you might regret having told
someone that you’re a shy person it
doesn’t have to be that way you don’t
have to be shy the next tip I have for
you is listen and learn from other
confident speakers when I try out a new
hobby I often want to see how an expert
does it if you really want to learn how
to be more confident and how to speak
more confidently you need to listen to
experienced and confident speakers make
it part of your daily routine once
you’ve found somebody and pinpointed who
you want to sound like try and imitate
them a little bit make it your own but
take elements of their calm
evidence and elements of their speech
for example I really really like and
admire the way Stephen Fry speaks so I
make a point to listen to him speaking
frequently a great way that you can
implement listening to a confident
speaker for a little bit of time every
single day is by listening to audio
books I recommend audible you can click
the link in the description box to get a
free audiobook that’s a 30 day free
trial I really really recommend
listening to Stephen Fry narrating the
Harry Potter series or you could try
listening to books on public speaking or
books on eliminating and combating
shyness I’ve got some recommendations in
the description box as well tip number
three this is something that I’ve spoken
about before but I a hundred percent
recommended it is rehearse and prepare
your best stories and monologues and
things that you know you will have to
say time and time again make a habit of
talking to yourself and practising your
best stories and the answers to the most
frequent questions vary from what are
your hobbies what’s your job what would
you like to do in the future tell me
about yourself that’s such a big one and
it makes me feel nervous when someone
asks me that in my own language so I can
only imagine how hard it is for you
especially if you’re shy practice it
maybe even write it down at first and
then practice it until you know it off
by heart you don’t want to know it
word-for-word you just want to know that
when somebody asks you that question you
know what to say and you can say it with
confidence I also said practice your
favorite stories these are great ways to
fill gaps in conversation I’ve got a few
funny ones that I’ve told him videos
like mine waitressing mistakes or the
lovely story about my dad’s fairy book
links those are also in the description
box those are stories that I like to
tell at dinner parties and people like
being around good storytellers so it’s
really really important to learn how to
tell a good story and treat each time
you tell a story as practice gauge their
response did they react well to what you
said did they find it boring make the
necessary tweaks then after 20 times of
telling this story hopefully to
different people each time try not to
repeat yourself you will tell it
beautifully right my next tip is
practice asking questions learning how
to say questions correctly is so
important but also quite difficult in
English but it’s so important for shy
people because it means if you need a
break from speaking you can pass the
baton to the other person examples so
how did you get into your career path or
if you could do one thing differently
what would you do that opens up an
opportunity for the other person to tell
their story and to talk of it so you can
have time for a rest most people enjoy
talking about themselves and they also
appreciate good listeners and you can be
both of those by asking questions the
only thing you have to do is learn and
remember how to ask them correctly I
always have a couple of questions up my
sleeve so that if I’m feeling nervous or
shy I can quickly ask them on something
and we can continue the conversation
that way and there’s no pressure on me
number five is don’t take yourself too
seriously the best way to bond with
people is to laugh and especially to
laugh at yourself if I feel shy about
something sometimes I make a joke about
it I remember when I was learning
Spanish I was so embarrassed about
making mistakes but actually those
mistakes ended up being my funniest
stories in Spanish if you speak Spanish
and you want to hear about my funny or
at least I think they’re funny
Spanish mistake stories in such para
sorry that and I’ll leave the link in
the description box I laugh at myself
basically for a full 10 minutes embrace
making mistakes they are such a powerful
tool not only do you learn from them but
you can also create comedy from them if
you’re quite obviously uptight and
really embarrassed about your mistakes
it puts the other person or your
audience in a really awkward situation
you don’t want people cringing for you
you want people to feel comfortable that
they can laugh along with you keep a
note of all these funny mistakes that
you’ve made and then maybe one day you
can meet somebody else that’s shy when
you’re already fluent in English and you
can make them feel better and tell them
about your ridiculous experiences number
six
meet and talk to as many different
people as possible in your life you are
going to meet so many people that you
will never ever meet again so if you do
embarrass yourself in front of them if
the worst does happen it doesn’t matter
you might think about it again they
might think about it again but if you
don’t ever see them again
it doesn’t matter take the opportunity
to speak with strangers
to go out and meet people to talk to as
many different people as possible
confidence for shy people comes with
practice an example I never really made
my own friends before as an adult I
always just had friends from childhood
or friends I shared with my partner and
when I moved to this village I was new
my fiancee was new we didn’t know anyone
but I’ve really wanted to make friends I
felt really shy but we started going out
sometimes together sometimes apart and
making real efforts to talk to people if
we recognized someone we would say hello
I would sometimes pop to the coffee shop
on my own and talk to the people there
we’ll go to the pub and see the same
people over and over again
and get to know them very very slowly at
first it felt really awkward and I felt
really shy but now we just really enjoy
being able to go anywhere in our village
and know people had we allowed ourselves
to be naturally shy as we are that
wouldn’t have happened it was by
practicing speaking to as many different
people as possible that we felt
confident right that’s it for today’s
lesson I hope you enjoyed it and I
really hope you learnt something and I
really hope that you’re going to make
more effort to feel less shy or at least
seem less shy until you become less shy
don’t forget to check out audible you
can get your free audiobook and 30-day
free trial in the description box I’ve
also got all of the other links I’ve
mentioned and please do comment down
below with any other tips and
recommendations that have helped you
become less shy and don’t forget to
connect with me on all of my social
media I’ve got my facebook I’ve got my
Instagram and I’ve got my Twitter and I
shall see you soon for another lesson na
today I’m
to talk to you about our today I am
going to talk to you but how about Oh
happen again oh my god what you found
somebody that you want to speak to it is
what is it right my next tip is really
really important
fry fry people
[Music]
[Music]