5 RULES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE Simon Sinek
i have five little rules that you can
follow as you
find your spark and bring your spark to
life
[Music]
the first is to go after the things that
you want
let me tell you a story so a friend of
mine and i
we went for a run in central park the
roadrunners organization
uh on the weekends they host races
and it’s very common at the end of the
race they’ll have a sponsor who will
give away
something apples or bagels or something
and on this particular day when we got
to the end of the run
there were some free bagels and they had
picnic tables set up and on one side was
a group of volunteers
on the table were boxes of bagels and on
the other side was a long
line of runners waiting to get their
free bagel
so i said to my friend let’s let’s get a
bagel and he looked at me and said ah
the line’s too long
and i said free bagel
and he said i don’t want to wait in line
and i was like free bagel
and he says nah let’s it’s too long and
that’s when i realized
that there’s two ways to see the world
some people
see the thing that they want and some
people see the thing
that prevents them from getting the
thing that they want
i could only see the bagels he could
only see the line
and so i walked up to the line
i leaned in between two people
put my hand in the box and pulled out
two bagels
and no one got mad at me because the
rule is
you can go after whatever you want you
just cannot deny
anyone else to go after whatever they
want
now i had to sacrifice choice i didn’t
get to choose which bagel i got i got
whatever i pulled out
but i didn’t have to wait in line so the
point is is you don’t have to wait in
line
you don’t have to do it the way
everybody else has done it you can do it
your way
you can break the rules you just can’t
get in the way of somebody else getting
what they want
that’s rule number one rule number two
[Music]
in the 18th century
there was something that spread across
europe and eventually made its way to
america
puerto fever also known as the black
death of child bed basically what was
happening
is women were giving birth and
they would die within 48 hours after
giving birth
this black death of childbirth was the
ravage of europe
and it got worse and worse and worse
over the course
of over a century in some hospitals
it was as high as 70 of women who gave
birth
who would die as a result of giving
birth but this was the renaissance
this was the time of empirical data and
science and we had thrown away things
like tradition and mysticism
these were men of science these were
doctors and these doctors and men of
science
wanted to study and try and find the
reason
for this black death of child bed and so
they got to work
studying and they would study the
corpses
of the of the women who had died and in
the morning they would conduct autopsies
and then in the afternoon they would go
and deliver babies and finish their
rounds
and it wasn’t until somewhere in the
mid-1800s
that dr oliver wendell holmes father of
supreme court justice
oliver wendell holmes realized that all
of these doctors were conducting
autopsies in the morning
weren’t washing their hands before they
delivered babies
in the afternoon and he pointed it out
and said guys
you’re the problem and they ignored him
and called him crazy for 30 years
until finally somebody realized that if
they simply washed their hands
it would go away and that’s exactly what
happened
when they started sterilizing their
instruments and washing their hands
the black death of childbed disappeared
my point is the lesson here is sometimes
you’re the problem you can take all the
credit in the world for the things that
you do right
as long as you also take responsibility
for the things you do wrong it must be a
balanced equation
you don’t get it one way and not the
other you get to take credit
when you also take accountability that’s
lesson two
lesson three take care of each other
the united states navy seals are perhaps
the most
elite warriors in the world
and one of the seals was
asked who makes it through the selection
process
who is able to become a seal
and his answer was i can’t tell you the
kind of person
that becomes a seal i can’t tell you the
kind of person that makes it through
buds
but i can tell you the kind of people
who don’t become seals
he says the guys that show up with huge
bulging muscles
covered in tattoos who want to prove to
the world how tough they are
none of them make it through he said the
preening leaders who like to delegate
all their responsibility
and never do anything themselves none of
them
make it through he said the star college
athletes
who’ve never really been tested to the
core of their being
none of them make it through he says
some of the guys that make it through
are skinny
and scrawny he said some of the guys
that make it through
you will see them shivering out of fear
he says however all the guys that make
it through
when they find themselves physically
spent
emotionally spent when they have nothing
left to give physically or emotionally
somehow some way they are able to find
the energy to dig down deep inside
themselves
to find the energy to help the guy next
to them
they become seals he said you want to be
an elite warrior
it’s not about how tough you are it’s
not about how smart you are
it’s not about how fast you are if you
want to be an elite warrior
you better get really really good at
helping the person to the left of you
and helping the person to the right of
you because that’s
how people advance in the world the
world is too dangerous and the world is
too difficult for you to think that you
can do these things alone
if you find your spark i commend you now
who you gonna ask for help
and when are you gonna accept help when
it’s offered
learn that skill learn by practicing
helping each other it’ll be the single
most valuable thing you ever learn in
your entire
life to accept help when it’s offered
and to ask for it when you know that you
can’t do it
the amazing thing is when you learn to
ask for help you’ll discover
that there are people all around you
who’ve always wanted to help you
they just didn’t think you needed it
because you kept pretending that you had
everything under control
and the minute you say i don’t know what
i’m doing
i’m stuck i’m scared i don’t think i can
do this
you will find that lots of people who
love you will rush in
and take care of you but that’ll only
happen if you learn to take care of them
first
lesson four
nelson mandela is a particularly special
case study
in the leadership world because he is
universally regarded
as a great leader you can take other
personalities and
depending on the nation you go to we
have different opinions about other
personalities
but nelson mandela across the world is
universally regarded
as a great leader he was actually the
son
of a tribal chief and he was asked one
day
how did you learn to be a great leader
and he responded
that he would go with his father to
tribal meetings and he remembers two
things
when his father would meet with other
elders one
they would always sit in a circle
and two his father was always
the last to speak you will be told your
whole life that you need to learn to
listen
i would say that you need to learn to be
the last to speak
i see it in board rooms every day of the
week even people who consider themselves
good leaders who may actually be decent
leaders will walk into a room and say
here’s the problem here’s what i think
but i’m interested in your opinion let’s
go around the room
it’s too late the skill to hold your
opinions to yourself until everyone has
spoken
does two things one it gives everybody
else the feeling
that they have been heard it gives gives
everyone else the ability to
feel that they have contributed and
two you get the benefit of hearing what
everybody else has to think before you
render your opinion
the skill is really to keep your
opinions to yourself
if you agree with somebody don’t nod yes
if you disagree with somebody don’t not
know
simply sit there take it all in and the
only thing you’re allowed to do is
ask questions so that you can understand
what they mean and why they have the
opinion that they have
you must understand from where they are
speaking
why they have the opinion they have not
just what they are
saying and at the end you will get your
turn
it sounds easy it’s not
practice being the last to speak that’s
what nelson mandela did number five
my favorite one of all true story
there was a former under secretary of
defense
who’s invited to give a speech at a
large conference about a thousand people
and he was standing on the stage with
his cup of coffee
and a styrofoam cup giving his prepared
remarks with his powerpoint behind him
and he took a sip of his coffee and he
smiled and he looked down at the coffee
and then he went off script and he said
you know last year
i spoke at this exact same conference
last year i was still the undersecretary
and when i spoke here last year they
flew me here business class
and when i arrived at the airport there
was somebody waiting for me to take me
to my hotel
and they took me to my hotel and they
had already checked me in and they just
took me up to my room
and the next morning i came downstairs
and there was someone waiting in the
lobby to greet me
and they drove me to this here same
venue they took me through the back
entrance and took me into the green room
and handed me a
cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup
he says i’m no longer the under
secretary i flew here coach
i took a taxi to my hotel and i checked
myself in
when i came down the lobby this morning
i took another taxi
to this venue i came in the front door
and
found my way backstage and when i ask
someone do you have any coffee
he pointed to the coffee machine in the
corner and i poured myself a cup of
coffee
into this here styrofoam cup
he says the lesson is the ceramic cup
was never
meant for me it was meant for the
position i
held i deserve a styrofoam cup
remember this as you gain fame
as you gain fortune as you gain position
and seniority
people will treat you better they will
hold doors open for you
they will get you a cup of tea and
coffee without you even asking
they will call you sir and ma’am and
they will give you stuff
none of that stuff is meant for you that
stuff is meant for the position you hold
it is meant for the level that you have
achieved of leader
or success or whatever you want to call
it but you will
always deserve a styrofoam cup
remember that remember that lesson of
humility
and gratitude you can accept all the
free stuff you can accept all the perks
absolutely you can enjoy them but just
be grateful for them
and know that they’re not for you