So I had the chance to meet with some of the kids in the program today.
Where are you?
Scream out.
There you go.
I love those kids.
What I thought I would do cause they gave me a little bit of time to say whatever I
want… is offer you a little bit of observations for your future.
I have five little that you can follow as you find your spark and bring your spark to
life.
The first is to go after the things that you want.
Let me tell you a story.
So a friend of mine and I, we went for a run in central park, the road runners organization
on the weekends, they host races and it's very common at the end of the race they'll
have a sponsor who will give away something; apples or bagels or something, and on this
particular day when we got to the end of the run there were some free bagels and they had
picnic tables set up and on one side was a group of volunteers; on the table were boxes
of bagels and on the other side was a long line of runners waiting to get their free
bagel so I said to my friend, "let's get a bagel", and he looked at me and said, "that
line too long", and I said free bagel and he said, "I don't want to wait in line", and
I was like free bagel and he says no, it's too long and that's when I realized that there's
two ways to see the world.
Some people see the thing that they want and some people see the thing that prevents them
from getting the thing that they want.
I could only see the bagels.
He could only see the line and so I walked up to the line.
I leaned in between two people put my hand in the box and pulled out two bagels and no
one got mad at me because the rule is "you can go after whatever you want, you just cannot
deny anyone else to go after whatever they want".
Now I had to sacrifice choice, I didn't get to choose which bagel I got.
I got whatever I pulled out but I didn't have to wait in line.
So the point is you don't have to wait in line; you don't have to so the way everybody
else has done it.
You can do it your way.
You can break the rules, you just can't get in the way of somebody else getting what they
want.
That's rule number one.
Rule Number Two, I like this one.
In the eighteenth century, there was something that spread across Europe and eventually made
its way to America called puerperal fever also known as The Black Death of childbed.
Basically what was happening is women were giving birth and they would die within 48
hours after giving birth.
This black death of childbirth was the ravage of Europe and it got worse and worse and worse
over the course of over a century.
In some hospitals, it was as high as 70% of women who gave birth who would die as a result
of giving birth but this was the Renaissance this was the time of empirical data and science
and we had thrown away things like tradition and mysticism.
These were men of science.
These were doctors and men of science wanted to study and try and find the reason for this
black death of childbed and so they got to work studying and they would study the corpses
of the of the women who had died and in the morning they would conduct autopsies and then
in the afternoon they would go and deliver babies and finish their rounds and it wasn't
until somewhere in the mid-1800s that Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Father of Supreme Court
justice, Oliver Wendell Holmes realized that all of these doctors who conducting autopsies
in the morning weren't washing their hands before they delivered babies in the afternoon
and he pointed it out and said, "guys, you're the problem", and they ignored him and called
him crazy for 30 years until finally, somebody realized that if they simply washed their
hands it would go away and that's exactly what happened.
When they started sterilizing their instruments and washing their hands the black death of
childbed disappeared.
My point is, the lesson here is sometimes you're the problem.
We've seen this happen all too recently with our new men of science and empirical studiers
and these men of finance who are smarter than the rest of us until the thing collapsed and
they blamed everything else except themselves and my point is take accountability for your
actions.
You can take all the credit in the world for the things that you do right as long as you
also take responsibility for the things you do wrong.
It must be a balanced equation you don't get it one way and not the other; you get to take
credit when you also take accountability that's lesson two.
Lesson Three, take care of each other.
The United States Navy SEALs are perhaps the most elite warriors in the world and one of
the seals was asked who makes it through the selection process; who is able to become a
seal?
And his answer was I can't tell you the kind of person that becomes a seal; I can't tell
you the kind of person that makes it through buds but I can tell you the kind of people
who don't become seals.
He says the guys that show up with huge bulging muscles covered in tattoos who want to prove
to the world how tough they are; none of them make it through.
He said the preening leaders who like to delegate all their responsibilities and never do anything
themselves; none of them make it through.
He said the star college athletes who've never really been tested to the core of their being
none of them make it through.
He says some of the guys that make it through worse and scrawny.
He said some of the guys that make it through you will see them shivering out of fear.
He says however, all the guys that make it through when they find themselves physically
spent, emotionally spent, when they have nothing left to give physically or emotionally; somehow,
someway they are able to find the energy to dig down deep inside themselves to find the
energy to help the guy next to them.
They become seals he said you want to be an elite warrior, it's not about how tough you
are, it's not about how smart you are, it's not about how fast you are; if you want to
be an elite warrior you better get really really good at helping the person to the left
of you and helping the person to the right of you because that's how people advance in
the world, the world is too dangerous in the world is too difficult for you to think that
you can do these things alone.
If you find your spark, I commend you, now who you gonna ask for help and when are you
gonna accept help when it's offered.
Learn that skill.
Learn by practicing helping each other it'll be the single most valuable thing you ever
learn in your entire life to accept help when it's offered and to ask for it when you know
that you can't do it.
The amazing thing is when you learn to ask for help you'll discover that there are people
all around you who've always wanted to help you they just didn't think you needed it because
you kept pretending that you had everything under control and the minute you say, I don't
know what I'm doing, I'm stuck, I'm scared, I don't think I can do this; you will find
that lots of people who love you will rush in and take care of you but that'll only happen
if you learn to take care of them first.
Lesson Four.
Nelson Mandela is a particularly special case study in the leadership world because he is
universally regarded as a great leader.
You can take other personalities and depending on the nation you go to we have different
opinions about other personalities but Nelson Mandela across the world is universally regarded
as a great leader.
He was actually the son of a tribal chief and he was asked one day how did you learn
to be a great leader?
And he responded that he would go with his father to tribal meetings and he remembers
two things when his father would meet with other elders; one, they would always sit in
a circle and two, his father was always the last to speak.
You will be told your whole life that you need to learn to listen, I would say that
you need to learn to be the last to speak.
I see it in boardrooms every day of the week even people who consider themselves good leaders
who may actually be decent leaders will walk into a room and say here's the problem, here's
what I think, but I'm interested in your opinion let's go around the room, it's too late.
The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken does two things
one it gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard.
It gives everyone else the ability to feel that they have contributed and two, you get
the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you render your opinion.
The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself if you agree with somebody don't
nod 'yes'; if you disagree with somebody don't nod 'no'.
Simply sit there take it all in and the only thing you're allowed to do is ask questions
so that you can understand what they mean and why they have the opinion that they have
you must understand from where they are speaking, why they have the opinion they have not just
what they are saying and at the end you will get your turn.
It sounds easy, it's not.
Practice being the last to speak that's what Nelson Mandela did.
Number three…number five, this Monty Python.
One, two, five, three.
For all the other nerds in the audience.
There’s one.
Number Five, my favorite one of all.
True Story.
There was a former Undersecretary of Defense who was invited to give a speech at a large
conference about a thousand people and he was standing on the stage with his cup of
coffee in a Styrofoam cup giving his prepare to march with his PowerPoint behind him and
he took a sip of his coffee and he smiled and he looked down at the coffee and then
he went off-script and he said you know last year, I spoke at this exact same conference.
Last year, I was still the undersecretary and when I spoke here last year they flew
me here business class and when I arrived at the airport there was somebody waiting
for me to take me to my hotel and they took me to my hotel and they had already checked
me in and they just took me up to my room and the next morning, I came downstairs and
there was someone waiting in the lobby to greet me and they drove me to this here same
venue.
They took me through the back entrance and took me into the green room and handed me
a coffee cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup.
He says I am no longer the undersecretary.
I flew here coach.
I took a taxi to my hotel and I checked myself in.
When I came down the lobby this morning I took another taxi to this venue.
I came in the front door and found my way backstage and when I asked someone do you
have any coffee he pointed to the coffee machine in the corner and I poured myself a cup of
coffee into this here Styrofoam cup.
He says the lesson is the ceramic cup was never meant for me, it was meant for the position
I held.
I deserve a Styrofoam cup.
Remember this as you gain fame, as you gain fortune, as you gain position and seniority
people will treat you better; they will hold doors open for you.
They will get you a cup of tea and coffee without you even asking.
They will call you sir and ma'am and they will give you stuff.
None of that stuff is meant for you, that stuff is meant for the position you hold.
It is meant for the level that you have achieved of leader or success or whatever you want
to call it but you will always deserve a Styrofoam cup.
Remember that, remember that lesson of humility and gratitude, you can accept all the free
stuff.
You can accept all the perks, absolutely you can enjoy them, but just be grateful for them
and know that they're not for you.
I remember getting off the Acela.
I took the Acela from New York to Washington DC and I got off the train like everybody
else and I was walking down the platform like everyone else and I walked past General Norty
Schwartz who used to be the chief of staff of the United States Air Force.
The head of the Air Force and here I did you see a guy in a suit, schlepping his own suitcase
down the platform just like me and just a couple months ago he was flying on private
jets and an entourage and other people carried his luggage but he no longer held the position
and so now he got to drag his own suitcase and never did it sort of remind me more that
none of us deserve the perks that we get; we all deserve a Styrofoam cup.
It was a pleasure meeting you guys this afternoon, I was blown away by your honesty and your
curiosity and your poise and I am confident that the future is bright despite the fact
that America looks like an absolute mess right now.
I am confident that the future is bright for one reason and one reason only because you
will grow up and you will be our future.
Thank you very very much guys.
You're wonderful.
Thank you.
{{
所以我有机会 在今天的节目中见到了一些孩子。
你在哪里?
叫出来。
你去吧。
我爱那些孩子。
我想我会做的,因为他们给了 我一点时间说我
想说的……就是为你的未来提供一些观察 。
当 你找到你的火花并将你的火花带入
生活时,我有五个你可以遵循的。
首先是追求你想要的东西 。
让我告诉你一个故事。
所以我和我的一个朋友,我们去 中央公园跑步,周末的公路跑者
组织,他们举办比赛 ,在比赛结束时他们
会有赞助商,他们会赠送一些东西,这是很常见的; 苹果或百吉饼之类的,
在我们跑到终点的这一天, 有一些免费的百吉饼,他们
设置了野餐桌,一边是 一群志愿者; 桌子
上放着几盒百吉饼,另一边排着 长长的队伍等着领取免费的
百吉饼,所以我对我的朋友说,“我们来买一个 百吉饼吧”,他看着我说,“
那条队伍也是 长”,我说免费百吉饼, 他说,“我不想排队”,
我就像免费百吉饼,他说不, 太长了,那时我意识到有
两种方式可以看到 世界。
有些人看到了他们想要的 东西,有些人看到了阻碍他们
得到他们想要的东西的东西。
我只能看到百吉饼。
他只能看到队伍,所以我走到队伍 前。
我靠在两个人之间, 把手伸进盒子里,拿出两个百吉饼,没有
人生我的气,因为规则是“你 可以随心所欲,你不能
拒绝任何人 随心所欲” .
现在我不得不牺牲选择,我 无法选择我得到的百吉饼。
我得到了我拿出的任何东西,但我 不必排队等候。
所以重点是您不必 排队等候; 你不必像
其他人那样做。
你可以按照自己的方式去做。
你可以打破规则,你只是不能 妨碍别人得到他们
想要的东西。
这是第一条规则。
规则二,我喜欢这个。
十八世纪,有一种 东西传遍了欧洲,
最终传到了美国,叫做产褥热, 也被称为产褥期黑死病。
基本上正在发生的事情是女性正在 分娩,她们会在分娩后 48
小时内死亡。
这种分娩的黑死病是欧洲的蹂躏 ,并且
在一个多世纪的过程中变得越来越糟。
在一些医院,高达 70% 的 分娩妇女会因分娩而死亡,
但这是文艺复兴时期, 这是经验数据和科学的时代
,我们已经抛弃了传统和神秘主义之类的东西 。
这些都是科学家。
这些是科学家和科学家 想要研究并试图找出这种
黑死病的原因,所以他们开始 研究,他们会研究
死去的妇女的尸体, 早上他们会进行 尸检,然后
在下午,他们会去接生 婴儿并完成他们的查房,
直到 1800 年代中期的某个地方 ,最高法院大法官奥利弗·温德尔·霍姆斯 (Oliver Wendell Holmes) 博士
才意识到 所有这些医生
早上验尸的人,下午生完孩子之前不洗手
,他指出来,说:“伙计们,你 才是问题所在”,他们不理他,骂
他疯了30年,直到最后 ,有人 意识到,如果他们只是
洗手,它就会消失,而这正是 发生的事情。
当他们开始对仪器进行消毒 和洗手时,婴儿床的黑死病就
消失了。
我的意思是,这里的教训是有时 你就是问题所在。
我们最近已经看到这种情况发生在 我们的新科学家和实证研究人员
以及这些比我们其他人更聪明的金融界人士身上 ,直到事情崩溃,
他们将责任归咎于除自己之外的一切 ,我的观点是为你的
行动。
只要你也为你做错的事情负责,你就可以为你做对的事情承担世界上所有的功劳
。
它必须是一个平衡的方程式,你不能以 一种方式得到它,而不能以另一种方式得到它;
当你也承担责任时,你就会获得荣誉,这是第二 课。
第三课,互相照顾。
美国海豹突击队可能 是世界上最精锐的战士,其中
一名海豹突击队员被问及谁通过了 选拔过程; 谁能成为
封印?
而他的回答是,我不能告诉你 成为印章的那种人; 我不能告诉
你什么样的人可以通过 萌芽,但我可以告诉你什么样的
人不会成为海豹。
他说那些 带着纹身的大块肌肉出现的人想
向世界证明他们有多坚强; 他们 都没有通过。
他说,那些喜欢把 所有的责任都委派给自己,从不做任何事情的
自以为是的领导者; 他们都没有通过。
他说,那些从未 真正接受过核心测试的明星大学运动员
没有一个能通过。
他说有些人 过得更糟,骨瘦如柴。
他说,一些通过 你的人会看到他们因恐惧而颤抖。
然而,他说,所有能挺过去的人 都是在他们发现自己在身体上
和情感上都消耗殆尽的时候,当他们在 身体上或情感上没有任何东西可以给予的时候; 不知何故,
他们能够以某种方式找到能量, 深入挖掘自己的内心,寻找
能量来帮助身边的人。
他们成为封印他说你想成为一名 精英战士,这不是你有多强悍
,不是你有多聪明, 不是你有多快; 如果你想
成为一名精英战士,你最好 非常擅长帮助
你左边的人和帮助你右边的人, 因为这就是人们
在世界上进步的方式,这个世界太危险了 很难让你认为
你可以独自完成这些事情。
如果你找到了你的火花,我推荐你,现在 你会向谁寻求帮助,当你
提供帮助时你会在什么时候接受帮助。
学习那个技能。
通过练习互相帮助来学习,这将 是你一生中学到的最有价值的一件事,
在 提供帮助时接受帮助,在你
知道自己做不到的时候请求帮助。
令人惊奇的是,当你学会 寻求帮助时,你会发现
你周围的人总是想帮助 你,他们只是认为你不需要帮助,因为
你一直假装一切都在你的 掌控之中, 你说的那一刻,我不
知道自己在做什么,我被困住了,我很害怕, 我觉得我做不到; 你会
发现很多爱你的人会冲进 来照顾你,但只有
当你学会先照顾他们时才会这样。
第四课。
纳尔逊·曼德拉是领导世界中一个特别特殊的案例 研究,因为他被
普遍认为是一位伟大的领导者。
你可以选择其他人, 根据你去的国家的不同,我们对其他人有不同的
看法,但纳尔逊 曼德拉在全世界被普遍认为
是一位伟大的领导者。
他实际上是一个部落首领的儿子,有 一天他被问到你是如何
学会成为一个伟大的领袖的?
他回答说他会和父亲一起 去参加部落会议,他记得
父亲会见其他长老时的两件事 ; 一、他们总是
围成一圈坐二、父亲总是 最后一个说话。
你一生都会被告知你 需要学会倾听,我会说
你需要学会成为最后一个说话的人。
我一周中的每一天都在董事会中看到它, 即使是那些认为自己是优秀领导
者但实际上可能是体面的领导者的人也会 走进一个房间并说这就是问题所在,这
就是我的想法,但我对你的意见很感兴趣, 让我们四处走走 房间,太晚了。
在每个人都发言之前保持自己的意见的技巧 有两件事,
一是让其他人感觉 他们已经被听到了。
它使其他人能够 感觉到他们已经做出了贡献,并且第二,您
可以在 发表意见之前听取其他人的想法。
如果您同意某人的观点,那么技巧实际上是保持自己的意见,不要
点头“是”; 如果您不同意某人的观点,请不要 点头“不”。
只需坐在那里接受所有内容, 您唯一可以做的就是提出问题,
以便您可以理解它们的意思 以及为什么他们有这样的观点,
您必须从他们说话的地方理解, 为什么他们有 认为他们不仅仅是
他们在说什么,最后你 会轮到你。
听起来很容易,其实不然。
练习最后一个说话,这就是 纳尔逊曼德拉所做的。
第三……第五,这个巨蟒。
一、二、五、三。
对于观众中的所有其他书呆子。
有一个。
第五,我最喜欢的一个。
真实的故事。
有一位前国防部副 部长被邀请在大约一千人的大型会议上发表演讲,
他站在舞台上,手里拿着一杯
咖啡,杯子里装着泡沫塑料杯, 准备行进,身后拿着幻灯片,
他 喝了一口咖啡,他微笑着 低头看着咖啡,
然后他脱稿说你知道 去年,我在同一个会议上发言。
去年,我还是副部长 ,去年我在这里讲话时,他们让
我坐商务舱,当我 到达机场时,有人在
等我带我去酒店,他们带 我去酒店,他们有 已经为我办理了
入住手续,他们只是带我去了我的房间 ,第二天早上,我下楼,
有人在大厅里等着 迎接我,他们开车把我带到了同一个
地点。
他们带我穿过后门, 带我进入绿色房间,递给我
一杯装在漂亮陶瓷杯里的咖啡 。
他说我不再是副部长了。
我飞到这里教练。
我乘出租车到酒店并办理了入住手续 。
今天早上我从大堂下来时,我又 乘了一辆出租车到了这个场地。
我走进前门,在后台找到了路 ,当我问别人你
有没有咖啡时,他指着角落里的咖啡机 ,我给自己倒了一杯
咖啡到这个聚苯乙烯泡沫塑料杯里。
他说这个教训是陶瓷杯 从来不是为我准备的,它是为我所担任的职位而准备的
。
我应该得到一个泡沫塑料杯。
记住这一点,当你得名,当你获得 财富,当你获得地位和资历时,
人们会更好地对待你; 他们会 为你敞开大门。
他们会在 你不问的情况下给你一杯茶和咖啡。
他们会叫你先生和女士,他们 会给你东西。
这些东西都不是为你准备的,那些 东西是为你所担任的职位而准备的。
它适用于您已达到 的领导者或成功水平或任何您
想称呼它的水平,但您将永远值得拥有一个泡沫塑料 杯。
记住这一点,记住谦卑 和感恩的教训,你可以接受所有免费的
东西。
你可以接受所有的好处,绝对 可以享受它们,但要对它们心存感激,
并知道它们不适合你。
我记得下过Acela。
我乘坐 Acela 从纽约到华盛顿 特区,我和其他人一样下了火车
,我像 其他人一样走下站台,我走过
曾经是美国空军参谋长的诺蒂·施瓦茨将军 .
空军负责人,我在这里 看到一个穿着西装的人,像我一样将自己的手提箱
拖到平台上,就在 几个月前,他乘坐私人
飞机飞行,一个随行人员和其他人提着 他的行李,但是 他不再担任这个职位
,所以现在他不得不拖着自己的手提箱, 而且从来没有这样做更多地提醒我
,我们谁都不应该得到我们得到的津贴; 我们都应该得到一个泡沫塑料杯。
今天下午很高兴见到你们, 我被你们的诚实、
好奇心和镇定所震撼,我 相信未来是光明的,
尽管美国现在看起来一团糟 。
我相信,未来是光明的有 一个原因,一个原因只是因为
你会长大,你将是我们的未来。
非常非常感谢你们。
你太棒了。
谢谢你。