I'm the first guy to pop his pecks at the  One Young World Conference. I love this.  

Man, I got only a little bit of time, so I'm  going to get into it real fast. How you doing? Ah,  

look at all these people! Man, the  future is here. I love the future.

First of all, I am here to basically talk about  a couple of things. I only have 10 minutes,  

so I'm going to be really, really short. But toxic  masculinity. How many of you guys have heard all  

that, the phrase toxic masculinity? It has been  used a lot. Everybody's been talking about it,  

you know. Another way I like to put it is  basically abusers of power. Okay. You know,  

I came up from Flint, Michigan. I was an  athlete. I played seven years in the NFL.  

Flint, Michigan was a very depressed area and I  also came up in a very, very violent household.

One of my earliest memories was, my father,  I probably was like four or five years old.  

My father punching my mother in the face as  hard as he could. That was one of my earliest  

memories. And you know, through trauma, you  learn your lessons. For me, it was, hey,  

this man, the strongest man I've ever seen, this  guy, he uses his power to abuse my mother. I  

learned simply because I was a man or he was  a man, or the people around me who were men,  

they were more valuable than women. This is  how it was for me coming up in Flint, Michigan.

And this is funny because people  say, you know, toxic masculinity,  

I mean don't women do things wrong too and  the whole thing, but you got to understand,  

men and women are very, very different.  One thing I noticed coming up in the hood,  

it was kind of wild because everyone uses their  thing to manipulate people. Like, you know, women  

tend to be manipulated through fear. When I was  coming up, the whole thing, if you were, you know,  

there were, I came up in the crack epidemic where,  you know, there were pimps and people who were  

basically treating women as property and their  whole thing was the fear, was to intimidate. My  

father using fear to intimidate my mother. And  he would basically manipulate her through fear.

And I knew that guys would work games like that.  You know, where they would either be physical,  

or they would manipulate through mental  means where it's like, hey, you know,  

they were looking at a girl or whatever and  tell her, their date or their wife and tell  

her that she wasn't pretty enough or she wasn't,  that she wasn't going to be around much longer,  

or they would flirt and make her feel very,  very insecure. Because the whole game was  

that you keep the girl or woman off balance  so that she never knows whether you like her  

or not. And this was, this was stuff  that was told to me when I was a kid,  

that when I was dating, they were like, hey man,  you got to have game. You got to do this thing.

But men tend to be manipulated through pride.  And pride is what is the lifeblood of toxic  

masculinity. When guys are always like, hey man, I  bet you, you won't do this, and I bet you I will.  

And the whole thing, it's about, you know,  the challenge, you know, if you ever see  

five men walking somewhere, they're probably  on their way to do something really stupid.

I'm just telling you because there's  nobody there to calm them down.  

And let me tell you something. The perfect  example of toxic masculinity I can give is let's  

say you have a restaurant, and a restaurant  has a sign in the bathroom. And it says,  

hey, all employees must wash their hands. But  you notice when the boss comes in, who's a man,  

and if the boss is a guy, he's going to come in  and you notice the boss never washes his hands.  

And so, he goes in, he goes in the kitchen and  he's touching the food. He's doing his thing.  

And employees are like, man, I don't  think the boss ever washed his hand.

So, what happens is somebody has to tell him, and  it's usually the manager and they tell the manager  

to go over there and tell him and the whole deal.  And all of a sudden, the manager goes over to him,  

he says boss, I'm so sorry, we noticed you  didn't wash your hands. Could you please  

wash your hands? And the boss says: ‘Oh,  thank you for telling me, you're fired.’

Then all the employees immediately know,  never ever confront the boss about anything.  

Now you have slipped into a toxic environment,  very, very slowly. All the employees are now  

behind enemy lines. Now they are, if you ever,  ever come up to the boss and say anything to him,  

you are now at risk. You are now a problem that  needs to be eradicated, instead of an employee  

that has good suggestions. And I'm trying to tell  you, I was a part of this. I was guilty. I believe  

because I was a man, I was more valuable, and  it was my way or the highway with my own family.  

And I developed so many bad, bad things that I  had to totally eradicate in my life. I had to  

go to rehab, to beat pornography addiction. There  were other things in my life that I knew because  

of this masculinity issue, this pride issue  that did not allow me to hear the truth.

Totally. And I'm going to tell you, man,  you guys are young. You guys are the future.  

The way I came up, you know, as a kid, when I  was young, it was like, hey man, nobody wanted  

to hear me. They were like, just be quiet. You  don't know what you're talking about. But I'm  

here to tell you that you do know. I'm here  to tell you that all the young people in here,  

you know the answer. And I'm here. And if you  don't, the fact that you are here and the fact  

that you are asking questions, because my thing is  I never ever want to be the guy that just brings a  

bunch of answers. I want to be the guy who brings  more questions. Because through those questions...

Through those questions, that's where  you're going to really figure out,  

figure out the best way. Because let me tell  you, one day is one way and the other day is  

another way. Now I also want to bring up the Me  Too thing. Because being a card-carrying member,  

ex member of the cult of masculinity, I was  able to recognize where my lines got crossed.

There was the head of the Motion Picture  department at my agency, WME, a guy named  

Adam Bennett came up to me in the middle of a  party when I was with my wife. And this was two  

years ago, I was already successful, already  done movies, already on Brooklyn Nine-Nine,  

already doing this stuff. And he walks over to  me and he gropes my genitals at a party. And  

I'm sitting here going, what in the world? Now I  pushed the guy back. I'm like, what is happening?  

I don't even understand it. Now, I ain't even met  the guy. I didn't even know the guy. He worked at  

my agency, but I didn't know him. But I'm like,  what is this dude's problem? So, he comes up to  

me and then I push him back. He comes back to  me again and does it again. I'm like, whoa,  

whoa. Now, now, now my first thing is to kill him.

You know what, I'm sorry, I can do that. I am  240 pounds. I got a lot of muscle I can make;  

I can handle it. The masculinity part  is like, yo, wait, wait a minute.  

But then I had to think, wait a minute, I  am a black man in America. Wait a minute,  

wait a minute. He is a very, very rich, successful  white man. This is his party. If I hit him,  

what's going to happen to me. Now we're talking  about a power dynamic. Most of these things don't  

deal with sex. The whole Met Too thing is never  about sex. It's about power. It's about people  

who want to manipulate and use their power  and abuse their power. That's what it's about.

Now, one thing, I got some solution, this is the  thing that I have a theory. I have a total theory.  

My theory being that, you know, when I  say women are manipulated through fear  

and guys are manipulated through pride,  well, with that theory on the line here,  

some of these, one of the things  that I would like to suggest  

to young people today, and to the young women  in this room and to the young men in this room,  

one of my suggestions for women to combat this  kind of thing is that women be fearless. Fearless!  

Let me tell you how, the only way I changed,  the only way I woke up is my wife left me.  

My wife left me, and you know what happened? I was  like, oh, you know what, go ahead and go. Fine.

You know what, I'm successful.  Everybody thinks I'm great.  

You know, Hollywood doesn't care if you lose  your family, they don't care. I get two or  

three other movies. It's all right. Everybody  thinks I'm wonderful. But the problem was,  

I knew I wasn't wonderful. And  she knew I wasn't wonderful.  

So, all of a sudden, I got a little voice and I  said, you know what, maybe it's me. Maybe it's  

not her, maybe it's not my abusive father, maybe  it’s not the fact that I'm black, maybe it's  

not all these other reasons that I could point to  and kind of figure it all out, but maybe it's me.

And then I had to come to a deep  realization that it was me. It was. Her  

fearlessness and the fact that she took  on the fact that she might be alone.  

Just, I couldn't believe it actually made  me see, because everything that I thought  

I knew and had, and I was the cool man and  I had it all together, it was all a lie.  

Let me tell you, for men, if pride is the problem,  the antidote I'm suggesting is vulnerability,  

for every man in this room.

The trick to vulnerability is that you have  to open up. You have to admit you're not  

invincible, because invincibility is the myth.  Every man is living it. Every guy in here lives  

his own action movie, all day long. And my  wife kept turning on the light and I'm like,  

I don't want to see the theater. I don't want  to see the seats. I don't want to see it. I  

want to see my own action movie. But the deal  is through vulnerability, we can see, we can  

truly see where we really, really are. And that  vulnerability is the only way you can get love.  

Because the trick is, what's a wow is that guys  tend to feel like, okay, I'm going to be tough.  

I'm going to be steel. I'm cold steel. I'm  dirty Harry. I'm all these movies where,  

you know, all of a sudden, the bullets just  ping off me and we know that's not true.

Vulnerability says I'm hurt. Vulnerability  says I have been through trauma.  

And because of my therapy and because of what  I've been through, I was able to recognize when my  

own lines were crossed. Because this is  the thing, there are people who would say  

you were too big to be assaulted. You're too  strong for have someone sexually assault you.  

And I said, even if I had to beat him  up, does that mean I wasn't assaulted?  

No, I was violated. And a lot of times  guys pretend they weren't. In the military,  

in fraternities, in colleges and schools, things  that have been, you know, lines have been crossed,  

and you'll never, you are too prideful to admit.

And you deal with this trauma. And then to the  point where, when it's too late. People are  

on a clock tower shooting at the students.  They're in Vegas shooting at a crowd in concert.  

This stuff comes out in different ways. And if  we don't learn as men, how to be vulnerable,  

and I'm not saying you have to be public, but  what I am saying is that you have to find someone  

you love, you care about, and someone who cares  about you and loves you, and you have to share  

and open up. Because let me tell you, man, I've  seen the toughest, toughest men crumble, crumble.

And, you know, people determine winners way too  early. Like, hey, he won. He won this. He did  

that. He did it. And they're young, and then  you wait a few and you really see the results.  

And I had so many women come to me about man,  Terry I've been abused. I've been sexually  

molested. But then what flipped me out was  that there was so many men after I came public,  

so many men all over the world were telling me  that they were molested too. And it really opened  

me up to see that this thing is not a witch  hunt. It's a fumigation. Me Too, Me too tells  

what exactly is going on.

And let me tell you, there's a word that a lot of  people use in these circles, silence is violence.  

Your predator, anyone who's giving  you that kind of trauma depends  

on your silence, they depend on  you being quiet. They depend on you  

being scared. They depend on you not  telling them to go wash his hands.  

But I'm telling you, my wife told me I need to  go wash my hands. She was fearless. I'm here to  

tell you that this era, you guys are the future,  man. And I have never ever seen a world like this.

Ronan Farrow said, we've crossed the Rubicon.  The only thing I can really relate this to is  

the emancipation proclamation, because people  are free now. But remember right after that,  

if you look it up, I'm just going off American  history. I know I'm all over the world right now.  

But in American history, there was a thing  called reconstruction, where you weren't a  

slave anymore. But if you jaywalked across  the street, you get 40 years in prison.  

There's backlash that comes with this, backlash.

But I promise you, and I promise  you this, that when you stand for  

the right thing and you do the right thing  and you tell them to go wash their hands,  

you, you are going to have the support of good  people. Because usually these guys are one in few,  

and they run a lot of people. They are usually  one predator, is responsible for so much damage,  

it takes them years to get caught. So, I want to  thank you for having me here today. It's been a  

pleasure. And I'm trying to tell you, man, that  you guys, you're the future and I love it. It's  

making me feel good. I only had 10 minutes but  thank you very much. I love you. That's all. Ah,  

thank  

you.

{{}}

我是第一个在 One Young World 大会上大放异彩的人。 我喜欢这个。

伙计，我只有一点时间，所以我 会很快进入。 你好吗？ 啊，

看看所有这些人！ 伙计， 未来就在这里。 我爱未来。

首先，我在这里基本上是要谈 几件事。 我只有 10 分钟，

所以我会非常非常短。 但有毒的 阳刚之气。 你们有多少人听说过

有毒的男子气概这个词？ 它已 被大量使用。 你知道，每个人都在谈论它

。 我喜欢换一种说法，基本上是 滥用权力者。 好的。 你知道

，我来自密歇根州的弗林特。 我是一名 运动员。 我在NFL打了七年。

密歇根州弗林特是一个非常萧条的地区，而我 也来自一个非常非常暴力的家庭。

我最早的记忆之一是，我的父亲， 我大概四五岁。

我父亲用尽全力打我母亲的 脸。 那是我最早的

记忆之一。 而且你知道，通过创伤，你会 吸取教训。 对我来说，嘿，

这个男人，我见过的最强壮的男人，这个 男人，他用他的力量虐待我的母亲。 我

仅仅因为我是男人或者他 是男人，或者我周围的男人都是男人而学习，

他们比女人更有价值。 我来到密歇根州弗林特就是这样。

这很有趣，因为人们 说，你知道，有毒的阳刚之气，

我的意思是女人不会也做错 事，整件事，但你要明白，

男人和女人是非常非常不同的。 我注意到一件事，

它有点疯狂，因为每个人都用他们的 东西来操纵人们。 就像，你知道的，女人

往往被恐惧所操纵。 当我 出现的时候，整件事，如果你是，你知道，

有，我是在流行病中出现的， 你知道，有皮条客和

基本上把女人当作财产的人，他们的 整个事情就是 恐惧，被恐吓。 我的

父亲用恐惧来恐吓我的母亲。 而且 他基本上会通过恐惧来操纵她。

而且我知道人们会玩这样的游戏。 你知道，他们要么是身体上的，

要么他们会通过心理 手段进行操纵，就像，嘿，你知道，

他们正在看着一个女孩或其他什么，并 告诉她，他们的约会对象或他们的妻子，并告诉

她她不是' 不够漂亮，或者她不够漂亮 ，她不会待太久，

否则他们会调情，让她感到非常、 非常不安全。 因为整个游戏就是

让女孩或女人失去平衡， 让她永远不知道你是否喜欢她

。 这是， 这是我小时候告诉我的东西

，当我约会时，他们就像，嘿，伙计， 你必须玩游戏。 你必须做这件事。

但男人往往被骄傲所操纵。 骄傲是有毒

男子气概的命脉。 当人们总是喜欢，嘿，伙计，我 打赌你，你不会这样做，我打赌你我会的。

整个事情，它是关于，你知道 ，挑战，你知道，如果你看到

五个男人在某个地方走，他们可能 正在做一些非常愚蠢的事情。

我只是告诉你，因为那里 没有人能让他们平静下来。

让我告诉你一件事。 我可以给出的有毒阳刚之气的完美例子是

假设你有一家餐馆，而一家餐馆 的浴室里有一个标志。 它说，

嘿，所有员工都必须洗手。 但是 你会注意到老板进来的时候，他是个男人

，如果老板是个男人，他就会进来 ，你会注意到老板从不洗手。

于是，他走进去，走进厨房 ，摸着食物。 他在做他的事。

员工就像，伙计，我 认为老板从来没有洗手过。

所以，发生的事情是必须有人告诉他 ，通常是经理，他们告诉经理

去那里告诉他和整个交易。 突然，经理走到他面前，

他说老板，很抱歉，我们注意到你 没有洗手。 你能

洗手吗？ 老板说：“哦， 谢谢你告诉我，你被解雇了。”

然后所有的员工都立刻知道了， 永远不要与老板对任何事情。

现在你已经非常非常缓慢地滑入了一个有毒的环境 。 现在所有员工都

在敌后。 现在他们是，如果你曾经， 曾经走到老板面前对他说任何话，

你现在就处于危险之中。 你现在是一个 需要根除的问题，而不是一个

有好的建议的员工。 我想告诉 你，我是其中的一部分。 我有罪。 我相信，

因为我是一个男人，我更有价值， 这是我的方式或与我自己的家人的高速公路。

我发展了很多糟糕的事情，我 必须在我的生活中彻底根除。 我不得不

去戒毒所，以摆脱色情成瘾。 在我的生活中，我还知道其他一些事情，

因为这个男子气概问题，这个骄傲问题 让我无法听到真相。

完全。 我要告诉你，伙计， 你们还年轻。 你们就是未来。

你知道，当我还是个孩子的时候，我的成长方式 就像，嘿，伙计，没人

想听我说话。 他们就像，只是安静。 你 不知道你在说什么。 但我在

这里告诉你，你确实知道。 我 在这里告诉你，这里所有的年轻人，

你都知道答案。 而我在这里。 如果你 不这样做，你在这里的

事实和你在问问题的事实，因为我的事情是 我永远不想成为一个只会带来

一堆答案的人。 我想成为提出 更多问题的人。 因为通过这些问题......

通过这些问题， 你将真正弄清楚，

找出最好的方法。 因为让我告诉 你，一天是一种方式，另一天是

另一种方式。 现在我也想提出 Me' Too 话题。 因为作为一名持牌成员，

前男性崇拜的成员，我 能够认出我的界限在哪里越界。

我所在的机构 WME 的电影部门负责人，一个

名叫亚当·贝内特的人 在我和我妻子的聚会中向我走来。 这是两年前的事了

，我已经成功了， 已经拍过电影，已经在布鲁克林九点九，

已经在做这些事情了。 然后他走到我身边，在聚会上摸我的生殖器。 而且

我正坐在这里，这到底是怎么回事？ 现在我 把那家伙推回去了。 我想，发生了什么事？

我什至不明白。 现在，我什至没见过 那个人。 我什至不认识那个人。 他在

我的机构工作，但我不认识他。 但我想， 这家伙的问题是什么？ 所以，他向

我走来，然后我把他推回去。 他再次回到 我身边并再次这样做。 我想，哇，

哇。 现在，现在，现在我的第一件事就是杀了他。

你知道吗，对不起，我能做到。 我是 240 磅。 我有很多肌肉可以锻炼；

我应付得来。 阳刚之气的 部分就像，哟，等一下，等一下。

但后来我不得不想，等一下， 我是美国的黑人。 等一下，

等一下。 他是一个非常、非常富有、成功的 白人。 这是他的派对。 如果我打他，

我会发生什么。 现在我们 谈论的是权力动态。 大多数这些事情

都与性无关。 整个 Met Too 从来都不是 关于性的。 这是关于权力的。 这是关于

想要操纵和使用他们的权力 并滥用他们的权力的人。 这就是它的意义所在。

现在，有一件事，我得到了一些解决方案，这 就是我有一个理论。 我有一个完整的理论。

我的理论是，你知道，当我 说女性被恐惧操纵

而男人被骄傲操纵时， 好吧，这里有这个理论

，其中一些 是我想

向年轻人建议的事情之一 今天，对于 这个房间里的年轻女性和这个房间里的年轻男性

，我对女性打击 这种事情的建议之一是女性要无所畏惧。 无所畏惧！

让我告诉你，我改变 的唯一方式，我醒来的唯一方式就是我的妻子离开了我。

我的妻子离开了我，你知道发生了什么吗？ 我当时 想，哦，你知道吗，继续吧。 美好的。

你知道吗，我成功了。 每个人都认为我很棒。

你知道，好莱坞不在乎你是否失去了 你的家人，他们不在乎。 我还有

两三部电影。 没关系。 每个人都 认为我很棒。 但问题是，

我知道我并不出色。 她知道我并不出色。

所以，突然间，我的声音很小，我 说，你知道吗，也许是我。 也许

不是她，也许不是虐待我的父亲， 也许不是我是黑人的事实，也许

不是所有这些我可以指出 并弄清楚的其他原因，但也许是我。

然后我不得不深刻地 意识到那是我。 它是。 她的

无所畏惧以及她承担 了她可能独自一人的事实。

只是，我不敢相信它真的让 我看到了，因为我认为

我知道和拥有的一切，我是一个很酷的人， 我拥有这一切，这都是谎言。

让我告诉你，对于男人来说，如果骄傲是问题所在， 我建议的解药就是脆弱，

对于这个房间里的每个男人来说。

漏洞的诀窍是你 必须敞开心扉。 你必须承认你不是

无敌的，因为无敌是神话。 每个人都在生活。 这里的每个

人整天都生活在自己的动作片中。 我的 妻子一直开着灯，我想，

我不想看剧院。 我 不想看到座位。 我不想看到它。 我

想看我自己的动作片。 但这笔交易 是通过脆弱性来实现的，我们可以看到，我们可以

真正看到我们真正、真正所处的位置。 而这种 脆弱是你获得爱的唯一途径。

因为诀窍是，令人惊叹的是，人们 往往会觉得，好吧，我会变得强硬。

我要成为钢铁侠。 我是冷钢。 我是 肮脏的哈利。 我是所有这些电影，

你知道，突然之间，子弹就 从我身上射了出来，我们知道那不是真的。

脆弱说我受伤了。 脆弱性 表明我经历过创伤。

由于我的治疗和 我所经历的，我能够识别出我

自己的界限何时被越过。 因为 事情就是这样，所以有人会说

你太大而不能被殴打。 你太 强大了，不会有人对你进行性侵犯。

我说，即使我必须殴打 他，这是否意味着我没有被殴打？

不，我被侵犯了。 很多时候， 人们假装他们不是。 在军队，

在兄弟会，在大学和学校里 ，你知道，事情已经越界了

，你永远不会，你太骄傲而不能承认。

而你处理这种创伤。 然后到那个 地步，当为时已晚。 人们

在钟楼上向学生射击。 他们在拉斯维加斯的音乐会上向人群开枪。

这些东西以不同的方式出现。 如果 我们不学习作为男人，如何变得脆弱

关于你和爱你，你必须分享

和敞开心扉。 因为让我告诉你，伙计，我 见过最坚强、最坚强的人崩溃、崩溃。

而且，你知道，人们过早地确定获胜者 。 就像，嘿，他赢了。 他赢了。 他这样做

了。 他做到了。 他们还很年轻，然后 你等了几下，你就真的看到了结果。

我有很多女人来找我谈论男人， 特里我被虐待了。 我受到了性

骚扰。 但让我大吃一惊的是 ，我公开后有这么多男人，

全世界有这么多男人告诉 我他们也被骚扰了。 它真的

让我大开眼界，这件事不是 猎巫。 是熏蒸。 我也是，我也告诉

你到底发生了什么。

让我告诉你，很多 人在这些圈子中使用一个词，沉默就是暴力。

你的捕食者，任何给 你这种创伤的人都

取决于你的沉默，他们取决于 你的沉默。 他们取决于

你是否害怕。 他们依赖于你不 告诉他们去洗手。

但我告诉你，我妻子告诉我我需要 去洗手。 她无所畏惧。 我在这里

告诉你，这个时代，你们就是未来， 伙计。 我从未见过这样的世界。

罗南·法罗说，我们已经越过了卢比孔河。 我唯一能真正与此联系的

是解放宣言，因为人们 现在是自由的。 但是在那之后请记住，

如果你查一下，我只是想脱离美国 历史。 我知道我现在在世界各地。

但在美国历史上，有一种东西 叫做重建，你不再是

奴隶了。 但如果你乱穿马路 过马路，你会被判入狱 40 年。

随之而来的是强烈反对，强烈反对。

但我向你保证，我向 你保证，当你

支持正确的事情并做正确的事情 并告诉他们去洗手时

，你就会得到好人的支持 。 因为通常这些人是少数

人中的一员，而且他们管理着很多人。 它们通常是 一种捕食者，要对如此多的破坏负责，

它们需要数年时间才能被抓住。 所以，我要 感谢你今天让我来到这里。

这是我的荣幸。 我想告诉你， 伙计，你们是未来，我喜欢它。 这

让我感觉很好。 我只有 10 分钟，但 非常感谢。 我爱你。 就这样。 啊，

谢谢

你。