today i just want to share a few lessons

meaning three the three lessons that

have had the greatest impact on my life

have to do with

feelings with failure and with finding

happiness

a year after i left college i was given

the opportunity to

co-anchor the six o'clock news in

baltimore because the whole

goal in uh in in the media at the time

i was coming up was that you try to move

to larger markets and baltimore was a

much larger market than nashville so

getting the six o'clock news co-anchor

job

at 22 was such a big deal it felt like

the biggest deal in the world at the

time

and i was so proud because i was finally

going to have my chance

to be like barbara walters which is who

i've been trying to emulate

since the start of my tv career so i was

22 years old

making 22 000 and yet it didn't

feel right it didn't feel right

the first sign was when they uh tried to

change my name

the news director said to me at the time

nobody's going to remember oprah

so we want to change your name we've

come up with a name we think that people

will remember

and people will like it's a friendly

name susie

but my name wasn't susie and you know

i'd grown up not really loving my name

because

when you're looking for your little name

on the lunch boxes and the license plate

tags

you're never gonna find oprah so i grew

up not loving the name but

once i was asked to change it i thought

well it is my name

and do i look like a susie to you so

i thought no it doesn't feel right i'm

not gonna change my name and if people

remember it or not that's okay

and then they said they didn't like the

way i looked

this was in 1976 where your boss could

call you in and say

i don't like the way you look so i was

juggling these messages of

expectation and obligation

and feeling really miserable with myself

i'd

go home at night and fill up my journals

because i've kept a journal since i was

15 so i have volumes of journals so i'd

go home at night and

fill up my journals about how miserable

i was and frustrated and then i'd eat my

anxiety

that's where i learned that habit and

after eight months i lost that job

they said i was too emotional i was too

much

but since they didn't want to pay off

the contract they put me on a talk show

in baltimore

and the moment i sat down on that show

the moment

i did i felt like i'd come home i

realized

that tv could be more

than just a playground but a platform

for service for helping other people

lift their lives

and the moment i sat down doing that

talk show

it felt like breathing it felt it felt

right and that's where everything

that followed for me began and i got

that lesson

when you're doing the work you're meant

to do it feels right

and every day is a bonus regardless of

what you're getting paid

and how do you know when you're doing

something right how do you know that

it feels so what i know now is that

feelings are really your gps system for

life

when you're supposed to do something are

not supposed to do something

your emotional guidance system lets you

know

the chick trick is to learn to check

your ego at the door

and start checking your gut instead

every right decision

i've made every right decision

i've ever made has come from

my gut and every wrong decision i've

ever made

was a result of me not listening

to the greater voice of myself

if it doesn't feel right don't do it

that's the lesson even doubt means don't

this is what i've learned there are many

times when you don't know what to do

when you don't know what to do get

still get very still

until you do know what to do

and when you do get still and let your

internal motivation

be the driver not only will your

personal life

improve but you will gain a competitive

edge in the working world as well

because as daniel pink writes in his

bestseller a whole new mind

he says we're entering a whole new age

and he calls it the conceptual age

where traits that set people apart today

are gonna come from

our hearts right brain as well as our

heads

it's no longer just the logical linear

rules-based thinking that matters he

says

it's also empathy and joyfulness and

purpose

inner traits that have transcendent

worth these qualities

bloom when we're doing what we love so

when we're involving the wholeness of

ourselves in our work

both our expertise and our emotion

so i say to you forget about the fast

lane

if you really want to fly just harness

your power to your passion

honor your calling everybody has one

trust your heart

and success will come to you

so lesson one follow your feelings if it

feels right

move forward if it doesn't feel right

don't do it

now i want to talk a little bit about

failings because nobody's journey is

seamless or smooth

we all stumble we all have setbacks if

things go wrong

you hit a dead end as you will

it's just life's way of saying time to

change

course so ask every failure this is what

i do

every failure every crisis every

difficult time i say

what is this here to teach me

[Music]

and as soon as you get the lesson you

get to move on

if you really get the lesson you pass

and you don't have to repeat the class

if you don't get the lesson

it shows up wearing another pair of

pants or skirt

to give you some remedial work and what

i found

is that difficulties come when you don't

pay attention to

life's whisper because life always

whispers to you first

first and if you ignore the whisper

sooner or later you'll get a scream

whatever you resist persists but if you

ask the right question

not why is this happening but what is

this here to teach

me what is this here to teach me it puts

you in the place

and space to get the lesson you need my

friend ed

uh who's written this wonderful book uh

called a new earth

that's all about letting the awareness

of who you are stimulate everything that

you do

he puts it like this he says don't react

against a bad situation

merge with that situation instead and

the solution will arise from the

challenge

because surrendering yourself doesn't

mean giving up it means

acting with responsibility okay

many of you know that as president

hennessey said i started this school

in africa and

i founded the school where i'm trying to

give south african girls a shot at a

future

like yours and i spent five years

making sure that school would be as

beautiful

as the students i wanted every girl to

feel her worth

reflected in her surroundings so i

checked every blueprint

i picked every pillow i was looking at

the grout in between the bricks

i knew every thread count of the sheets

i chose every girl from the villages

from nine provinces

and yet last fall i was faced with a

crisis

i'd never anticipated i was told that

one of the dorm matrons was suspected of

sexual abuse

well that was as you can imagine

devastating news

first i cried actually i sobbed for

about a half an hour

and then i said let's get to it that's

all you get

is a half an hour you need to focus on

the now

what you need to do now so i contacted a

child trauma specialist

i put together a team of investigators i

made sure the girls had counseling and

support

and gail and i got on a plane and flew

to south africa

and the whole time i kept asking that

question

what is this here to teach me and as

difficult as that experience has been

i got a lot of lessons i understand now

the mistakes i made because

i had been paying attention to all of

the wrong

things i built that school from the

outside

in when what really mattered was the

inside out

so it's a lesson that applies to all of

our lives as a whole

what matters most is what's inside what

matters most is the sense of

integrity of quality and beauty

i got that lesson and what i know is is

that the girls

came away with something too they've

emerged from this more resilient

and knowing that their voices have power

and their resilience and spirit have

given me more than i could ever

give to them which leads me to my final

lesson

the one about finding happiness not a

small topic this is finding happiness

but in some ways i think it's the

simplest of all gwendolyn brooks wrote a

poem

for her children it's called speech to

the young

speech to the progress toward and she

says

at the end live not for battles one

live not for the end of the song

live in the along she's saying

like ex art eckhart tolle that you have

to live for the present you have to be

in the moment whatever has happened to

you in your past

has no power over this present moment

because life is now

but i think she's also saying be a part

of something

don't live for yourself alone

this uh this is what i know for sure in

order to be truly

happy you must live along with and you

have to stand for something

larger than yourself because life

is a reciprocal exchange to move forward

you have to give back

and to me that is the greatest lesson of

life

to be happy you have to give

something back

so whatever field you choose if you

operate from the paradigm of service

i know your life will have more value

and you will be happy

i was always happy doing my talk show

but that happiness reached a depth of

of uh a fulfillment

of uh of joy that i really can't

describe to you a measure

when i stopped just being on tv and

looking at tv as a job

and decided to use t television to use

it

and not have it use me to use it as a

platform to serve my viewers

that alone changed the trajectory

of my success so i know this

that whether you're an actor you offer

your talent in the way that most

inspires art if you're an anatomist you

look at your

your gift as knowledge

and service to healing whether you've

been called as so many of you here today

getting doctorates and other degrees to

the profession of business

law engineering humanities

science medicine if you choose

to offer your skills and talent in

service

when you choose the paradigm of service

looking at your life through that

paradigm

it turns everything you do from a job

into a gift

you

{{}}

今天我只想分享一些教训，

这意味着三个

对我的生活影响最大的三个教训

与

我离开大学一年后的失败感和寻找幸福有关，我有机会

共同主持 巴尔的摩的六点钟新闻，

因为

当时媒体的整个目标

是你试图

搬到更大的市场，而巴尔的摩是一个

比纳什维尔大得多的市场，所以

得到六点钟的新闻 22 岁的联合主播

工作非常重要，感觉

就像当时世界上最大的交易

，我很自豪，因为

我终于有

机会成为芭芭拉·沃尔特斯那样的人，这就是

我一直在努力的人

从我的电视生涯开始就开始效仿，所以我

22 岁，

赚了 22 000，

但感觉不对劲 感觉

不对劲 第一个迹象是当他们呃试图

改名时

，新闻总监对我说 当时

没有人会记得奥普拉，

所以我们 想改变你的

名字 我们想出了一个我们认为人们会记住的名字

，人们会喜欢这是一个友好的

名字 susie

但我的名字不是 susie 你知道

我长大后并没有真正爱我的名字，

因为

当 你

在午餐盒和车牌标签上寻找

你的小名字你永远找不到奥普拉所以我

从小就不喜欢这个名字但是

一旦我被要求改变它我

认为这是我的

名字 对你来说看起来像个苏西，所以

我想不，这感觉不对，我

不会改变我的名字，如果人们

记得与否，那没关系

，然后他们说他们不喜欢

我

在 1976 年的样子 你的老板可以

打电话给你，说

我不喜欢你的样子，所以我在

处理这些

期望和义务的信息，对

自己感到非常痛苦，我

晚上回家填满我的日记，

因为我已经 我从 15 岁起就开始写日记，

所以我有很多日记，所以我

晚上回家

我写满了我的日记，说

我是多么痛苦和沮丧，然后我会吃掉我的

焦虑

，这就是我养成这个习惯的地方，

八个月后我失去了那份工作，

他们说我太情绪化

了，

但因为他们没有 想要

还清合同，他们让我参加了

巴尔的摩的脱口秀节目，

当我坐在那个节目上的那一刻

，我感觉就像回到了家一样，我

意识到电视

不仅仅是一个游乐场，而是一个平台

为帮助其他人

提升生活

而服务，当我坐下来做那个脱口秀的那一刻

，感觉就像在呼吸，感觉

很好，这就是我接下来的一切开始的地方

，

当你做你的工作时，我得到了教训 '

应该做的感觉是对的

，每天都是奖金，

不管你得到什么报酬

，你怎么知道你什么时候

做对了你怎么知道

它的感觉所以我现在知道的是

感觉是 当你真的是你的 GPS 系统

应该做的事情

不应该做的事情

你的情绪引导系统让你

知道 小技巧是学会

在门口检查你的自我

并开始检查你的直觉，而不是

每一个正确的

决定 我做出的每一个正确的决定

曾经做过的一切都来自

我的直觉，我所做的每一个错误决定

都是我没有倾听

自己更大声音的结果

这就是我学到的很多

时候，

当你不知道该做什么时，你

会变得非常安静，

直到你知道该怎么做

，当你真的安静下来并让你的

内在动力

成为驱动力，不仅你的

个人生活

会得到改善，而且你也会

在工作世界中获得竞争优势，

因为正如丹尼尔·平克在他的畅销书中所写的那样，

一个全新的头脑，

他说我们正在进入一个全新的时代

，他称之为 它是一个概念时代

，其中的特征 今天让

人们与众不同 将来自

我们的心 右脑以及我们的

头脑

它不再只是基于逻辑线性

规则的思维，他说

重要的是同理心、快乐和

目标

内在特质

当我们绽放时，这些特质具有超凡的价值 “做我们喜欢做的事，所以

当我们在工作中全身心

投入工作时

，我们的专业知识和情感，

所以我对你说，

如果你真的想飞，就忘记快车道，只要利用

你的力量来激发你的热情，

尊重你的 呼吁每个人都有一个

信任你的心

和成功会来到你

所以第一课跟随你的感觉如果

感觉正确就

继续前进如果感觉不

正确现在不要这样做

我想谈谈

失败因为没有人的旅程 是

无缝的或顺利的

我们都会跌跌撞撞 我们都会遇到挫折 如果

出现问题

，您会随心所欲地陷入死胡同

这只是生活中的说法 是时候改变方向了，

所以要问每一次失败，这就是原因

每一次失败每一次危机每一次

困难时我都会说

这是在这里教我什么

[音乐

]一旦你得到教训，如果你真的得到教训，你

就可以继续前进，

你通过了

，你不必重复 上课

如果你没有得到教训，

它会出现穿着另一条

裤子或裙子

来给你一些补习工作，

我发现

当你不注意生活的耳语时，困难就来了，

因为生活总是

对你耳语

首先，如果你迟早忽略耳语，

你会得到尖叫，

无论你坚持什么，但如果你

问正确的问题，

不是为什么会发生这种情况，而是这是

在

这里教我什么是在这里教我

你在这个地方

和空间上学你需要我的

朋友艾德，

呃，他写了这本很棒的书，呃，

叫做新地球

，就是让对

你是谁的认识刺激

你所做的

一切他这样说他说不要' 不

反应 相反，糟糕的情况

与这种情况合并，

解决方案将来自

挑战，

因为投降并不

意味着放弃它意味着

负责任地行事，好吧

，你们中的许多人都知道，正如

亨尼西总统所说，我在非洲创办了这所学校

，

我创立了 学校，我试图

给南非女孩一个像你这样的

未来的机会

，我花了五年时间

确保学校

和学生一样美丽我希望每个女孩都能

感受到她的价值

反映在她的周围，所以我

检查了每一个 蓝图

我挑选了每一个枕头 我看着

砖之间的灌浆

我知道床单的每一个线数

我从九个省的村庄里挑选了每个女孩

但去年秋天我面临着

我从未预料到的危机 告诉

一个宿舍的女主人被怀疑

性

虐待，这是你可以想象的

毁灭性消息

首先我哭了实际上我哭了

大约半个小时

然后我说让我们开始吧

，你得到的

只是半小时，你需要专注

于现在

你现在需要做的事情所以我联系了一位

儿童创伤专家

我组建了一个调查小组

我确保女孩们有 咨询、

支持

和盖尔，我登上飞机

飞往南非

，整个过程中，我一直在问这个

问题

，这里教给我什么

，尽管经历如此艰难，但

我得到了很多我现在明白的教训

我犯的错误是因为

我一直在关注

我从外面建造这所学校的所有错误的事情，而

真正重要的是由

内而外，

所以这是一个适用于

我们整个生活的教训

最重要的是什么 里面

最重要的

是质量和美感的完整性

我得到了教训，我知道的

是女孩

们也得到了一些东西他们已经

摆脱了这种更有弹性

并且知道她们的声音有

力量和 d 他们的韧性和精神

给了我比我所能给他们更多的

东西，这使我进入了我的最后一

课关于寻找幸福不是一个

小话题这是寻找幸福，

但在某些方面我认为这

是所有 gwendolyn brooks 写的最简单的

为她的孩子们写的一首诗，它被称为

对年轻的

演讲，对进步的演讲，她

说最后活着不是为了战斗，一个人

活着不是为了歌曲的结尾，

她说

就像前艺术埃克哈特托勒一样，你

必须 活在当下，你必须活

在当下，无论你过去发生了

什么，

都无法控制当下，

因为生活就是现在，

但我认为她也在说，成为某

事的一部分，

不要为自己而活，

这个呃 这是我确定的，

为了真正

快乐，你必须和你一起生活，你

必须坚持

比你自己更伟大的东西，因为生活

是一种互惠的交流，

你必须回馈

并回报给我。 快乐是人生中最重要的一课，

你必须

回馈一些东西，

所以无论你选择什么领域，如果你

从服务范式运作，

我知道你的生活会更有价值

，你会很开心，

我总是很高兴做我的演讲 但是

当我不再只是

看电视，把电视当成工作

，决定用电视来使用

它时，那种幸福达到了 uh 一种满足的 uh 喜悦的深度

而不是让我用它作为

服务观众

的平台，这改变

了我成功的轨迹，所以我知道

，无论你是演员，你都

以最能激发艺术的方式提供你的才华，

如果你是 解剖学家 你

把

你的天赋看作是知识

和治疗的服务 如果你选择提供你的 s 是否

像你们今天在这里的这么多人一样

获得博士学位和其他学位

商业

法 工程 人文

科学 医学

当您选择服务范式时，

会杀死和服务人才