how is it going

[Applause]

greetings to president by Lok Provost

Dean Barnard faculty trustees and the

other honorees Catherine Johnson Anna

Quindlen and Risa and to each of the 619

badass women of the Barnard graduating

class 2018 congratulations you guys

congratulations

doesn't it feel like the second you

figure anything out in life it ends and

you're forced to start all over again

experts call these times of life

transitions

I call them terrifying I went through a

terrifying transition recently when I

retired from soccer and the world tries

to distract us from our fear during

these transitions by creating fancy

ceremonies for us this is your fancy

ceremony mine was the ESPYs a nationally

televised sports awards show I had to

get dressed up for that

just like you got dressed up for this

but they they sent me a really expensive

fancy stylist doesn't look like you guys

got one sorry about that

so it went like this

ESPN called and told me they were gonna

honor me with their inaugural icon award

I was humbled of course to be regarded

as an icon did I mention that I'm an

icon

I received my award along with two other

incredible athletes basketballs Kobe

Bryant and footballs Peyton Manning we

all stood on stage together and watch

the highlights of our careers with the

cameras rolling and the fans cheering

and then looked around but I had a

moment of extreme aw I felt so grateful

to be there included in the company of

Kobe and Payton I had a momentary

feeling of having arrived like we women

had finally made it then the applause

ended and it was time for the three of

us to exit stage left and as I watched

those men walk off the stage it dawned

on me that the three of us were stepping

into very different futures each of us

Kobe Payton and I we made the same

sacrifices we shed the same amount of

blood sweat and tears we'd left it all

on the field for decades with the same

ferocity talent and commitment but our

retirements wouldn't be the same at all

because Kobe and Payton walked away from

their careers was something I didn't

have enormous bank accounts

because of that they had something else

I didn't have freedom their hustling

days were over and mine were just

beginning

later that night back in my hotel room I

laid in bed and thought this isn't just

about me and this isn't just about

soccer we talk a lot about the pay gap

we talk about how we overall us women

earn 80 cents for every dollar paid to

men black women in America earned 63

cents while Latinas earned 54 cents for

every dollar paid to white men what we

need to talk more about is the aggregate

and compounding effects the pay gap on

women's lives

overtime the pay gap means women are

able to invest less and save less so

they have to work longer when we talk

about what the pay gap costs us let's be

clear it costs us our very lives

and it means that I'd spent most of my

time during my career the same way I'd

spent my time on that sv stage just

feeling grateful grateful to be one of

the only women to have a seat at the

table I was so grateful to receive any

respect at all for myself that I often

missed opportunities to demand equality

for all of us but as you know women of

Barnard

change is here women are learning that

we can be grateful for what we have and

also demand what we deserve like all

little girls I was taught to be grateful

I was taught to keep my head down stay

on the path and get my job done

I was freaking Little Red Riding Hood

you know the fairy tale it's just one

iteration of the warning stories girls

are told the world over Little Red

Riding Hood heads off to the woods and

is given strict instructions stay on the

path

don't talk to anybody keep your head

down hidden underneath your Handmaid's

Tale cape and she does at first but then

she dares to get a little curious and

she ventures off the path that's of

course when she encounters the big bad

wolf and all hell breaks loose the

message is clear don't be curious don't

make trouble don't say too much or bad

things will happen I stayed on the path

out of fear not of being eaten by a wolf

but of being cut being benched losing my

paycheck if I could go back and tell my

younger self one thing it would be this

Abby you were never Little Red Riding

Hood

you were always

the wolf so when I was entrusted with

the honor of speaking here today I

decided that the most important thing

for me to say to you is this Barnard

women class of 2018 we are the Wolves in

1995 around the year of your birth

wolves

yes weird wolves were reintroduced into

Yellowstone National Park after being

absent for 70 years in those years the

number of deer had skyrocketed because

they were unchallenged alone at the top

of the food chain they grazed the way

and reduced the vegetation so much that

the river banks were eroding once the

Wolves arrived they thinned out the deer

through hunting but more significantly

their presence changed the behavior of

the deer wisely the deer started

avoiding the valleys and the vegetation

in those places regenerated trees

quintupled in just six years

birds and beavers started moving in the

river dams the beavers built provided

habitats for otters and ducks and fish

the animal ecosystem regenerated but

that wasn't all the rivers actually

changed as well the plant regeneration

stabilized the river banks so they

stopped collapsing the river steadied

all because of the Wolves presence see

what happened here the Wolves who were

feared as a as a threat to this system

turned out to be its salvation

Barnard women are you all picking up

what I'm laying down here

women are feared as a threat to our

system and we will also be our salvation

our landscape is overrun with archaic

ways of thinking about women about

people of color about the other about

the rich and the poor about the powerful

and the powerless these ways of thinking

are destroying us we are the ones we've

been waiting for

we will not Little Red Riding Hood our

way through life we will unite our pack

storm the valley together and change the

whole bloody system throughout my life

my pack has been my team teams need a

unifying structure and the best way to

create one collective heartbeat is to

establish rules for your team to live by

it doesn't matter what specific page

you're all on just as long as you're on

the same one here are four rules I've

used to unite my pack and lead them to

gold rule 1 make failure your fuel

here's something the best athletes

understand but seems like a harder

concept for non athletes to grasp not

athletes don't know what to do with the

gift of failure so they hide it pretend

it never happened

reject it outright they end up wasting

it listen failure is not something to be

ashamed of it's something to be powered

by failure is the highest octane fuel

your life can run on you've got to learn

to make failure your fuel when I was on

the youth national team only dreaming of

playing alongside me ham you'll know her

good I had the opportunity to visit the

national team's locker room the thing

that struck me most wasn't my heroes

grass stain cleats or their names and

numbers hanging above their lockers it

was a picture it was a picture that

someone had taped next to the door so

that it would be the last thing every

player saw before she headed out to the

training pitch you might guess it was a

picture of their last big win or of them

standing on the podium accepting gold

medals but it wasn't it was a picture of

their longtime rival the Norwegian

national team celebrating after having

just beaten the USA in the 1995 World

Cup in that locker room I learned that

in order to become my very best on the

pitch and off I need to spend my life

letting the feelings and lessons of

failure transform into my power failure

is fuel fuel is power women listen to me

we must embrace failure as our fuel

instead of accepting it as our

destruction as Michelle Obama's recently

said I wish that girls could fail as

well as men do and be okay because let

me tell you watching men fail up it's

frustrating it's frustrating to see men

blow it and win we hold ourselves to

these crazy crazy standards Wolfpack

fail up blow it and win rule number two

lead from the bench imagine this you

scored more goals than any human being

on the planet female or male you

co-captain and lead Teen USA in almost

every category for the past decade and

you and your coach sit down and decide

together that you won't be a starter in

your last World Cup for Team USA so that

sucked

you'll feel benched sometimes - you'll

be passed over for the promotion taken

off the project you might even be

finding yourself holding a baby instead

of a Brik briefcase watching your

colleagues get ahead here's what's

important you're allowed to be

disappointed when it feels like life's

benched you what you aren't allowed to

do is miss your opportunity to lead from

the bench during that last World Cup my

teammates told me that my presence my

support my vocal and relentless belief

in them from the bench is what gave them

the confidence they needed to win us

that championship if you're not a leader

on the bench then don't call yourself a

leader on the field

you're either a leader everywhere or

nowhere

and by the way the fiercest leading I've

ever seen has been done between mother

and child parenting is no bench it just

might be the big game Wolfpack

wherever you're put lead from there rule

number three champion each other during

every 90 minutes soccer match there are

a few magical moments when the ball

actually hits the back of the net and a

goal is scored when this happens it

means that everything has come together

perfectly a perfect pass the perfectly

time run every player in the right place

at exactly the right time all of this

culminating in a moment in which one

player scores the goal what happens next

on the field is what transforms a bunch

of individual women into a team

teammates from all over the field rushed

towards the goal scorer

it appears that we're celebrating her

but what we're really celebrating is

every player every coach every practice

every sprint every doubt and even every

failure that this one single goal

represents you will not always be the

goal scorer and when you're not you

better be rushing towards her women must

champion each other yes

this can be difficult for us women have

been pitted against each other since the

beginning of time

for that one seat at the table scarcity

has been planted inside of us and among

us this scarcity is not our fault but it

is our problem and it is within our

power to create abundance for women

where scarcity used to live as you go

out into the world amplify each other's

voices demand seats for women people of

color and all marginalized people at

every table where decisions are made

call out each other's wins and just like

we do on the field claim the success of

one woman as the collective success for

all women joy success power these are

not pies where a bigger slice means of

smaller a bigger slice for her means a

smaller slice for you

these are infinite in any revolution the

way to make something true starts with

believing it is let's claim infinite joy

success and power together Wolfpack her

victory is your victory celebrate it

fourth rule demand the ball when I was a

teenager I was lucky enough to play with

one of my heroes Michelle Akers that's

right she needed a place to Train since

there was not yet a woman's professional

league

Michelle was tall like I am built like

I'd be built and the most courageous

soccer player I'd ever seen play she

personified every one of my dreams we

were playing a small sighted scrimmage

five against five we were 18 years old

and she was well Michelle Akers

chiselled 30 pound 30 year old

powerhouse for the first three quarters

of the game she was taking it easy on us

coaching us teaching us about spacing

timing and the tactics of the game but

by the fourth quarter she realized that

because of all this coaching her team

was losing by three goals in that moment

a light switched on inside of her she

ran back to the goalkeeper stood one

yard away from her and screamed

give me the effing ball and the gold

keeper gave her the effing ball and she

took the ball and she dribbled through

our entire effing team and she scored

now this game was winners Keepers so if

you scored you got the ball back so as

soon as Michelle scored she ran back to

her goalie stood a yard away from her

and screamed give me the ball

the keeper did and again she dribbled

through us and scored and then she did

it again

she took her team to victory Michelle

Akers knew what her team needed from her

at every moment of the game don't forget

until the fourth quarter leadership had

required Michelle to help support and

teach but eventually leadership called

her to demand the ball

Wolfpac at this moment in history

leadership is calling us to say give me

the effing ball give me the effing job

give me the same pay the guy next to me

gets give me the promotion give me the

microphone

[Applause]

give me the respect I've earned and give

it to my Wolfpack - in closing I want to

leave you with the most important thing

I've learned since leaving soccer when I

retired my sponsor Gatorade surprised me

at a meeting with the plan for my

send-off commercial the message was this

forget me they nailed it they knew I

wanted my legacy to be ensuring the

future success of the support of the

sport I dedicated my life to if my name

were forgotten that would mean that the

women who came behind me were breaking

records winning championships and

pushing the game to new heights when I

shot that commercial I cried

a year later I found myself coaching my

ten year old daughter's soccer team I'd

coached them all the way to the

championship hashtag Homa brag

one day I was warming up the team doing

a little shooting drill I was telling

them a story about when I retired and

one of those little girls looked up to

me and said so what did you retire from

and I looked down at her and said soccer

and she said oh who did you play for I

said the United States of America and

she said oh does that mean that you know

Alex Morgan be careful what you wish for

a Barnard they forgot me but that's okay

being forgotten in my retirement didn't

scare me what scared me was losing the

identity the game gave me I defined

myself as Abby Wambach soccer player the

one who showed up and gave a hundred

percent to my team and fought along my

Wolfpack to make a better future for the

next generation without soccer who would

I be a few months after retirement I

began creating my new life I met Glennon

and our three children and I became a

wife a mother a business owner and an

activist and you know who I am now I'm

still the same Abby I still show up and

give a hundred percent now to my new

pack and I still fight every day to make

a better future for the next generation

you see soccer didn't make me who I was

I brought who I was to soccer

and I get to bring who I am wherever I

go and guess what so do you as you leave

here today and every day going forward

don't just ask yourself what do I want

to do ask yourself who do I want to be

because the most important thing I've

learned is that what you do will never

define you who you are always will and

who you are

Barnard women are the wolves surrounding

you today is your Wolf Pack look around

go ahead you can do it

don't lose each other leave these sacred

grounds United storm the valleys

together and be our salvation

[Applause]

you

{{}}

进展如何

[掌声]

Lok Provost

Dean Barnard 教职员工受托人和

其他获奖者 Catherine Johnson Anna

Quindlen 和 Risa 向校长致意

，并向 Barnard 2018 年毕业班的 619 位坏女人中的每一位致敬

就像你

在生活中发现任何事情的那一刻，它就结束了，

你被迫重新开始

我们通过

为我们举办花哨的仪式来摆脱这些过渡期间的恐惧 这是你的花哨的

仪式 我是 ESPYs 一个全国

电视转播的体育颁奖典礼 我必须

为此打扮，

就像你为此打扮一样，

但他们给我发了一封 非常昂贵的

花式造型师看起来不像你们

对此感到抱歉，

所以就像这个

ESPN 打电话告诉我他们

会 或者我获得他们的首届偶像奖

我当然很荣幸被

视为偶像 我是否提到我是

偶像

我与另外两名

令人难以置信的运动员篮球

科比布莱恩特和足球佩顿曼宁一起获得了我的奖项 我们

都站在舞台上 看着

我们职业生涯的精彩片段，

镜头转动，球迷欢呼

，然后环顾四周，但我有一个

极端的时刻，我很感激

能和

科比和佩顿在一起，我有一种瞬间

到达的感觉 就像我们

女人终于做到了，然后掌声

结束，是

我们三个人离开舞台左侧的时候了，当我看着

那些男人走下舞台

时，我突然意识到我们三个人正

踏入非常不同的未来 我们

科比佩顿和我做出了同样的

牺牲，我们流下了同样多的

血汗和泪水，我们

在球场上留下了几十年的同样

凶猛的天赋和承诺，但我们

退休了 s 将完全不同，

因为科比和佩顿离开了

他们的职业生涯，我

没有庞大的银行账户，

因为他们有其他东西

我没有自由他们忙碌的

日子结束了，我的只是

那天晚上晚些时候开始回到我的酒店房间，我

躺在床上，认为这不仅仅是

关于我，这不仅仅是关于

足球我们谈论了很多关于薪酬差距

我们谈论我们女性如何

赚取 80 美分 支付给

男性的每一美元美国黑人女性赚取 63

美分，而拉丁裔

支付给白人男性的每一美元赚取 54 美分 我们

需要更多讨论的是

工资差距对女性生活的总体和复合影响

能够减少投资和储蓄，因此

当我们

谈论薪酬差距使我们付出的

代价时，

他们必须

工作更长时间 我

花了我的时间 我在那个 sv 舞台上只是

感激能

成为唯一能坐在

桌子上的女性之一

知道

巴纳德

变革的女性就在这里 女性正在学习

我们可以感激我们所拥有的，

也像所有小女孩一样要求我们应

得的 工作完成了，

我吓坏了小红帽，

你知道这个童话故事，它只是世界各地

女孩们被告知的警告故事的一个迭代

小

红帽前往树林

并得到严格的指示，留在

路上

不要说话 对任何人来说，把你的

头藏在你的女仆的

故事斗篷下，她一开始

会这样做，但后来她敢于有点好奇，

她冒险离开了这条路，

当然，当她遇到大坏

狼和所有 地狱爆发

信息很明确 不要好奇

不要惹麻烦 不要说太多，否则

会发生

坏事 我的

薪水，如果我能回去告诉

年轻的自己一件事，那就是这个

艾比，你从来都不是小

红帽，

你永远

是狼，所以当我

今天有幸在这里演讲时，我

决定最重要的事情

我要对你说的

是 2018 年的巴纳德女子班 我们是

1995 年的狼 在你出生的那一年

狼

是的 奇怪的狼在缺席 70 年后被重新引入

黄石国家公园

那些年

鹿的数量猛增 因为

他们在食物链的顶端没有受到单独挑战，所以

他们在路上放牧

并减少植被，

以至于一旦狼群到达，河岸就被侵蚀了，

他们通过狩猎减少了鹿的数量

，但更多的是

它们的存在显着地改变了

鹿的行为 鹿开始

避开山谷和

这些地方的植被

仅六年时间里，树木再生了五倍

鸟类和海狸开始在

河中移动

动物生态系统得到了再生，

但并不是所有的河流都

发生了变化，植物的再生

稳定了河岸，所以它们

停止了坍塌，河流稳定

了，这一切都是因为狼的存在，

看看这里

发生了什么 这个系统

被证明是它的救赎

巴纳德 女人你们都在接受

我在这里放下的东西吗

女人被恐惧为对我们系统的威胁

，我们也将成为我们的救赎

我们的风景被

关于女人的古老思维方式所淹没

有色人种关于其他人

关于富人和穷人关于强者

和无权者这些思维方式

是 摧毁我们 我们是我们

一直在等待的人

我们不会 小红帽

我们的人生道路 我们将团结我们

的部落一起冲进山谷 并

在我的一生中改变整个血腥系统

我的部落一直是我的团队 团队需要一个

统一的结构和

创建一个集体心跳的最佳方式是

为您的团队制定规则来生活，

只要您在同一个页面上，您都在哪个特定页面上并不重要

这里有四个规则我 “

曾经团结我的队伍并带领他们走向

金牌 规则 1 让失败成为你的燃料

这是最好的运动员理解的东西，

但

对于非运动员来说似乎是一个更难掌握的概念 不是

运动员不知道如何处理

失败的礼物所以 他们隐藏它 假装

它从未发生过

彻底拒绝它 他们最终浪费了

它 倾听 失败不是什么

可耻的事 它是由失败驱动的东西

是

你的生活可以依靠的最高辛烷值燃料 你必须

学会制造 fai 当我在青年国家队的时候，我

只是梦想

和我一起打球，你会知道她

很好我有机会参观

国家队的更衣室

，最让我印象深刻的不是我的英雄们的

草渍防滑钉或 他们的名字和

号码挂在他们的储物柜上 这

是一张照片 这是

一张有人贴在门边的照片，这样

每个

球员在前往

训练场之前看到的最后一件事你可能会猜到这是一张

照片 他们最后一次大获全胜，或者他们

站在领奖台上接受

金牌，但这不是

他们的长期竞争对手挪威

国家队

在 1995 年世界杯上击败美国后

在更衣室里庆祝的照片我了解到

为了在

场上和场下都做到最好，我需要度过我的一生，

让失败的感受和教训

转化为我的力量失败

是燃料燃料是力量女人听我说

我们必须接受 失败是我们的燃料，

而不是

像米歇尔奥巴马最近

所说的那样接受

它作为我们的毁灭 我们坚持

这些疯狂的疯狂标准 Wolfpack

失败了，并在替补席上赢得了第二条

领先优势 想象一下，您的

进球数比地球上任何人

都多 在过去的十年里，

你和你的教练坐下来

一起决定你不会成为

美国队上届世界杯的首发球员，所以

你有时会觉得自己坐在板凳上——你

会因为升职而被忽略

项目结束后，您甚至可能会

发现自己抱着一个婴儿，而

不是一个 Brik 公文包，看着您的

同事取得进展，这就是

重要的，

当感觉生活陷入困境时，您可以感到

失望 你不能

做的就是错过

在上届世界杯期间替补出场的机会 我的

队友告诉我我的存在 我的

支持 我

在替补席上对他们的直言不讳和坚持不懈的信念给

了他们所需的信心 为我们赢得

冠军，如果你不是

替补席上的领袖，那就不要称自己为

场上

的领袖，你要么在任何地方都是领袖，要么在任何地方都是领袖

，顺便说一句，我见过的最激烈的领先

已经完成 母子之间的

育儿不是替补席 它只是

可能是一场大型比赛 Wolfpack

无论你从那里取得领先

规则 3 在

每 90 分钟的足球比赛中互相冠军

有一些神奇的时刻，当球

实际击中背部

当发生这种情况时，进球和进球

意味着一切都

完美地融合在一起完美的传球完美的

时间让每个球员在

正确的时间在正确的位置运行所有这一切都

达到了高潮 一名球员进球的那一刻 场上

接下来发生

的事情是将

一群女性个人变成一个

队友 来自全场的队友

冲向进球者

看起来我们在庆祝她，

但我们真正的 庆祝是

每一位球员每一位教练每一次练习

每一次冲刺每一次质疑甚至每一次

失败这一个单一的目标

代表你不会总是

进球，当你不是你

最好冲向她的女人必须

互相冠军是的，

这可以 对我们来说

很难 为女性创造

财富 做出决定的桌子

唤起了彼此的胜利，就像

我们在球场上所做的那样，声称

一个女人的成功是所有女性的集体成功

喜悦成功的力量这些

不是馅饼，更大的切片意味着

更小的更大的切片

她对你来说意味着一个更小的部分

这些在任何革命中都是无限的

让事情成为现实的方式始于

相信它是让我们一起宣称无限的快乐

成功和力量 Wolfpack 她的

胜利是你的胜利庆祝它

第四条规则我十几岁的时候要球

我很幸运能

和我的一位英雄 Michelle Akers 一起踢球，这是

对的，她需要一个训练的地方，因为

当时还没有女子

职业联赛 曾经看过她的比赛，她

是我每一个梦想的化身

我们在进行一场小型的有视力的混战，

五对五，我们 18 岁

，她很好，米歇尔·阿克斯（Michelle Akers）

凿出 3 0 磅 30 岁的

强者在比赛的前三个

季度她很轻松地

指导我们教我们间隔

时间和比赛的战术，但

到第四节她意识到，

由于所有这些教练她的

球队 在那一刻，她输了三个球

，她体内的灯亮了起来，她

跑回守门员身边，站在

离她一码远的地方，尖叫着

把球给我，金门将把球

给了她，她

接过球，她运球了 通过

我们整个 effing 团队，她

现在进球了，这场比赛是胜利者 守门员，所以如果

你进球了，你就会把球拿回来，所以

一旦米歇尔进球，她就跑回

守门员，站在离她一码远的地方

，尖叫着把球给我

守门员做的 再一次，她带球

突破我们并得分，然后她

再次做到了，

她带领她的球队取得了胜利

r 领导层

要求 Michelle 帮助支持和

教导，但最终领导层打电话给

她要求球

沃尔夫帕克在历史上的这个时刻

领导正在打电话给我们说给

我 effing 球给我 effing 工作

给我和旁边的人一样的薪水 我

得到升职 给我

麦克风

[掌声]

给我我赢得的尊重并

给我的 Wolfpack - 最后我想给

你留下我退役后离开足球以来学到的最重要的东西

我的赞助商佳得乐（Gatorade）

在与我的告别广告计划会面时让我大吃一惊

，传达的信息是

忘记我，他们确定了，他们知道我

希望我的遗产能够确保我毕生致力于

这项运动的支持在未来取得成功，

如果 我的名字

被遗忘了 这意味着

在我身后的女性正在打破

记录赢得冠军并将

比赛推向新的高度 当我

拍摄那个广告时我哭

了一年后我发现自己是教练 为我

10 岁女儿的足球队打球

有一天我在球队热身时进行

了一次射击训练 我

给他们讲了一个关于我退休时的故事

女孩们抬头看着

我说那你从什么

退休我低头看着她说

足球她说哦你为谁踢球我

说美利坚合众国

她说哦这是否意味着你认识

亚历克斯摩根 小心你

对巴纳德的期望，他们忘记了我，但没关系

在我退休后被遗忘并没有

吓到我害怕我失去

了游戏给我的身份我将

自己定义为出现并给予我的 Abby Wambach 足球运动员

百分百贡献给我的团队，并与我的

Wolfpack 一起战斗，为没有足球的下一代创造更美好的未来

退休几个月后我会成为谁 我

开始创造我的新生活 我遇到了格伦农

和我们的三个孩子，我成为

妻子 母亲 企业主和

活动家 你知道我现在是谁 我

还是原来的艾比 我仍然出现并

为我的新背包付出百分之百的努力

我仍然每天都在为创造

更美好的未来而奋斗

你看到的下一代足球并没有让我成为我是

谁 不要只是问自己我

想做什么问问自己我想成为谁

因为我学到的最重要

的事情是你所做的

永远不会定义你你是谁以及

你是谁

巴纳德女人是狼 今天围绕着

你的是你的狼群环顾四周

你能做到的

不要失去彼此离开这些神圣的

土地联合风暴山谷

一起成为我们的拯救

[鼓掌]

你