9 English Conversation Questions to Know Someone Better
Vanessa: Hi, I’m Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com.
Are you ready to have a conversation?
Dan: I am.
Vanessa: Let’s do it.
For today’s English lesson, I’m here in front
of my Christmas tree with my husband, Dan-
Dan: Hello, everyone.
Vanessa: … in our matching Christmas sweaters.
Dan: Looking sharp.
Vanessa: Yes, we are drinking some port today.
Cheers.
Dan: Cheers.
Vanessa: And we’re going to be talking about
nine conversation questions that are great
for getting to know someone better.
Some of these questions are silly.
Some of them are deep.
Some of them are serious and we’re going to
be asking them to each other.
I hope it will be a great opportunity for
you to listen to some real English, but also
to expand your vocabulary and be able to learn
some new expressions.
If we say anything interesting, then I’ll
try to write it up here so that you can learn
as you go and improve your English skills.
Are you ready for the first question?
Dan: I’m ready, I think.
Vanessa: Okay.
The first question is what was the most embarrassing
moment of your life?
Dan: Wow.
This is going to go right straight for the
gut.
Vanessa: Yep.
Dan: This is a pretty tough question I think.
The most embarrassing moment of my life.
Well, it depends.
When I was a child, I had a very embarrassing
moment where I was about to sing in my choir
at church, and I stepped up to the microphone
and I didn’t know that if I got too close,
it would have all this feedback and noise
and stuff.
And I got too close and it made a bunch of
fuzzy sounds.
And I remember distinctly a girl who was in
the choir said, “You don’t have to eat the
mic, Dan.”
Vanessa: Oh.
Dan: She said something like that.
Vanessa: In front of everyone?
Dan: And everybody was laughing.
Vanessa: Oh.
Dan: So that was a really embarrassing moment.
Vanessa: How old were you?
Dan: Like seven, eight.
Vanessa: Ah, that’s bad.
Dan: Yeah.
So I was a little kid there.
And then see, I have two most embarrassing
moments.
So I got a lot of embarrassment to go around.
But this is actually pretty similar.
So the second most embarrassing, maybe number
one, would be when I failed the speech in
speech class in university.
Vanessa probably remembers this.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: So I stayed up all night trying to finish
my speech and I’m a bit of a perfectionist
sometimes.
And I was just working on it way too long
and I didn’t sleep at all.
And then when I got into the school room and
started the presentation, I could not remember
anything at all.
So I just stood up there like this, and I
couldn’t say anything.
And everybody in the room had this look of
horror like, “Oh, my God, he doesn’t remember
anything.”
Vanessa: This is called secondhand embarrassment
when you’re embarrassed for someone else.
Dan: Yes.
Everybody was embarrassed for me and I felt
so embarrassed and terrible, and I had to
leave the room and then I kind of fumbled
my way through it later.
But yeah.
So some advice out there, if you have a speech,
practice it, number one, and number two, sleep.
Vanessa: Yeah.
I remember you said, too, at the end of that
class, everyone kind of patted you on the
shoulder.
Dan: They’re like, “It’s okay.”
Vanessa: That’s really embarrassing.
And they’re both kind of public speaking type
situations.
Dan: Yeah.
These are probably the top embarrassing moments.
Public speaking makes me nervous anyways,
if you can believe it.
Vanessa: Yeah.
I’m sure that you’re not alone.
In fact, that is one of my most embarrassing
moments, too.
Dan: Oh, really?
Vanessa: In fact, it was during a theater
practice.
I was one of the lead roles in our high school
play.
Dan: Of course, you were.
Vanessa: And the problem was that during rehearsals,
during that time period, those weeks, I broke
my wrist.
So I had a lot of doctor’s appointments and
I missed a lot of rehearsals.
So one day I went to the rehearsal and I was
on the stage.
There was no audience.
It was just the other classmates who were
in the play and my teacher was in the audience.
And I didn’t know it, but we were supposed
to memorize all of our lines on that day.
Dan: Uh-oh.
Vanessa: But I didn’t know it because I had
missed so many rehearsals.
And so I got on the stage with my playbook
and I was reading my lines because I didn’t
know we were supposed to memorize them.
And she yelled at me so much.
She was screaming at me.
This is not a good teacher situation in the
first place-
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: … but she was yelling at me, “Vanessa,
why didn’t you remember your lines?”
And I stood there and the only thing I could
do was just cry.
Dan: Oh, no.
Vanessa: And I just cried in front of everyone
on the stage.
Dan: Oh, my God.
Vanessa: I was so ashamed and embarrassed-
Dan: That sounds so bad.
Vanessa: … and I was embarrassed that I
was crying.
It was just a really bad situation all around.
Dan: I hope that teacher felt bad.
Vanessa: I don’t know.
She wasn’t the nicest person if you can imagine.
Dan: Yeah.
She probably reveled in it, too, like, “Heh,
heh, I got one.”
Vanessa: Oh, yeah.
So that was probably my most embarrassing
moments.
All right, let’s go to our second question.
Dan: All right.
The next question is, if you found out that
you were the direct descendant of a king or
a queen, would you find them and claim your
title or would you keep your life as it is?
Vanessa: There is no question, no doubt in
my mind.
I would absolutely, what do you think I’m
going to say?
Dan: Oh, you would find out.
Vanessa: Really?
Dan: Oh, no.
Am I wrong?
Vanessa: No.
I would absolutely keep my life as it is.
Dan: Wow, okay.
Vanessa: I think that I am not famous at all
on YouTube.
YouTube is a very small-
Dan: I don’t know about that.
Vanessa: … the internet is a very small
piece of the world.
Dan: It’s not like being a princess.
Vanessa: But I think if I were very, very
extremely famous on the internet or like Hollywood
or something like this, I would feel so uncomfortable
because you can’t have a daily life.
You can’t go to the grocery store.
You can’t walk down the street with your children.
You just can’t live a normal life without
people looking at you or even potentially
hurting you, or you just can’t be normal.
And I would never want that for myself, I
think.
Dan: You wouldn’t even want to go meet your
royal family?
Vanessa: Well, I think the part of this question
is claim your title or claim your throne.
I would not want to rule or just become famous
and then never be able to have a private life.
That’s something that’s really important to
me.
And thankfully, it’s something that is possible
due to just the widespreadness of the internet,
even though there’s many of you who watch
these lessons, you’re spread out across the
world.
So it’s not really a problem that I face in
daily life.
I can still go about my life without being
recognized, which is great.
So I think having a private life is really
important to me.
And that’s, I think, what people who are celebrities
or kings and queens don’t have.
They don’t have a private life.
Dan: That’s true.
Vanessa: So what about you?
Would you claim your throne?
Dan: Yeah, definitely.
Of course.
Daniel, King of Scots.
Vanessa: Oh, why would you want to do that?
Dan: For Ireland, maybe?
I don’t know.
Well, because number one, I would just be
very curious.
Oh, what’s the story here?
How did they find out?
I want to meet these people.
I also think it would be kind of advantageous
to be living as a normal person for most of
my existence and then suddenly find out.
That’d be more like a movie type of scene,
not so much like I was born into royalty and
I have all these procedures and all this fame
from birth and everything was given to me.
No, suddenly one day I find out I’m a prince
or something like that.
Vanessa: Oh.
Dan: I’d be far too curious.
And also maybe, I don’t know.
Vanessa: You always live with, what if?
What if I asked?
Dan: Well, I was going to say, maybe I like
fame more than you.
Maybe I like the idea of it or influence.
I like the idea of influence, like maybe I
could use that position for good in the world.
Vanessa: Well, I mean, that’s not a bad thing.
You’d be able to probably influence more people
than in your private life-
Dan: Exactly.
Vanessa: … but you’d give up your private
life at the same time.
All right, let’s go to our next question.
Our next question is to name four things that
we have in common.
Now I’m going to say one, you’re going to
say one, then I’ll say one, then you say one.
Dan: We haven’t practiced this, so we better
really know each other.
Vanessa: Yeah.
What is something that we have in common?
Dan: Well, we both like to go on adventures.
Vanessa: Okay, yeah.
What kind of adventures?
Dan: We like to travel.
We really enjoyed our time when we traveled
to South Korea and living in a different country,
eating different food-
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: … those experiences, we both enjoy
about the same.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: Neither of us are prone to complaining
about it.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: We endure the differences very well.
Vanessa: Yeah.
I would say that another similarity that we
have kind of going with this adventure idea
is that we both like to be active.
So we often, as a family, go for hikes, or
even if it’s just a walk around the neighborhood,
this doesn’t seem like it’s extremely active,
but I know a lot of people who never go for
a walk.
So I think something that we have in common
is that we really like to move.
We’re not extremely active, but we-
Dan: Kind of similar to the first.
Vanessa: Yes.
But I think this has to do with-
Dan: A little bit.
Vanessa: … exercise and that we chose our
house because we can walk to downtown, because
we can walk to the park, and a lot of places
in the US that’s not possible.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: So I think that that’s something
we have in common.
Dan: We have a similar taste in that way.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you think?
What’s another thing we have in common?
Dan: Well, I think both of us, this is something
that we both dislike.
Vanessa: Oh, okay.
Dan: Yeah.
We both really dislike phony people.
Vanessa: Oh, that’s a good one.
Yeah.
Dan: Fake people or dishonest people.
We just really don’t hang out with people
who are fake in any way, really.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: And we can tell, or even like, I don’t
know, really full of themselves.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: We like genuine people-
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: … like us.
Vanessa: I think that when you surround yourself
with people like that, people who are fake
or shallow, then it really influences you
personally.
So by having people around you who you enjoy
and are a positive influence, that can really
shape your life.
Dan: Yeah.
I have a bonus one.
Vanessa: Oh, I’m not done.
Dan: I know.
Vanessa: What if it’s mine?
Dan: We’re very fashionable.
Vanessa: We like-
Dan: … high fashion-
Vanessa: … high fashions, cat sweaters.
Very, yeah, maybe we have a low embarrassment
threshold.
Dan: Me more than you.
Vanessa: Oh, yeah, yeah.
I’d say so.
Maybe that’s high embarrassment threshold?
Dan: Yes.
Vanessa: We’re not embarrassed easily.
We’re not embarrassed easily because we can
wear sweaters like this on the internet.
Okay.
Dan: Okay your real last one, sorry.
Vanessa: Yes.
So my final one is that I think we are both
really good at rationally communicating our
thoughts to each other.
So this is not 100% of the time, but I think
that our relationship works really well because
when I get upset about something or you’re
bothered by something, or even life’s just
going well, we can kind of put on our rational
thinking hats-
Dan: Set aside our biases for a minute.
Vanessa: Yeah.
And even if it’s really difficult, try to
rationally communicate with each other and
kind of set aside emotion or set aside, yeah,
that kind of bias.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: And that doesn’t work 100% of the
time, of course.
But I think that we are both kind of naturally
good at that, but we’ve also worked on that
a lot.
Dan: Yeah.
We’re also pretty lucky because neither of
us have extremely high negative emotion.
So we don’t yell at each other very much.
We don’t feel very angry that often.
Or if we do, it’s not the way some people
are when they’re angry.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: Let’s just put it that way.
Vanessa: Yeah.
So I think that that’s something we have in
common is that we communicate in a similar
way to each other.
All right, let’s go to our next question.
Dan: Okay.
The next question is what would constitute
a perfect day for you?
Vanessa: Perfect.
Wow.
Well, I think when I saw this question, I
kind of thought about a pretty realistically
perfect day, not I win the lottery and then
I get to fly around the world.
This is not realistic.
So when I thought about a perfect day, I start
at the beginning of the day.
I think the perfect day would be, I wake up,
no children are crying.
Dan: I’m just going to say no children.
Vanessa: No children are crying because Dan
has woken up and is giving them breakfast.
And he has already prepared a wonderful breakfast
of oatmeal-
Dan: Oh, this is detailed.
Vanessa: … and-
Dan: Oatmeal?
Vanessa: We eat oatmeal every morning.
Dan: How about bacon and eggs?
Vanessa: Okay.
There’s bacon and eggs.
And I wake up at a nice, not too early hour
and I get to eat this wonderful breakfast.
And we go for a family hike.
Dan: Is this just at our house?
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: Okay.
Vanessa: Yeah.
We go for a family hike in the mountains all
morning and afternoon and have a picnic on
the mountain.
And then in the afternoon, we come back and
our children magically are just playing so
peacefully while we prepare dinner together.
Dan: Wow.
Oh, together.
Vanessa: I think it would be fun, too, yeah.
We like to cook together, but we often don’t
get a chance to cook together because one
of us is watching the kids while the other
is cooking.
So I think it would be lovely, a very realistic
day, minus some of the children things, too.
Yeah.
They’re playing nicely and happy and we cook
together and they go to bed so peacefully.
And in the evening, we play our favorite board
game, which is Carcassonne.
Dan: Oh, okay.
Vanessa: And I win.
Dan: Oh, come on.
Vanessa: Perfect day.
Dan: Wow.
That’s a very humble perfect day.
Vanessa: Yeah?
Dan: You don’t even go anywhere.
Vanessa: Oh, we go hiking.
Dan: Okay.
Well, we go somewhere.
Vanessa: Yeah.
What about you?
What’s the perfect day for you?
Dan: Okay.
Well, mine is-
Vanessa: I have a feeling it’s a little more
extravagant.
Dan: … a little bit, yeah maybe a little
bit more.
Vanessa: Okay.
Dan: So we’d be traveling somewhere.
So say Japan.
I’ve been having like a itch to go visit Japan,
but I know it’s not going to happen for a
long time because it’s far away and we have
little kids.
So you have one of those like perfect travel
days where you’re not too tired.
You do something really interesting.
So maybe we see-
Vanessa: A temple.
Dan: Well, I love nature, so some of my favorite
hikes in South Korea were going up mountains
by like old walls, old city walls, some kind
of hike like that.
And it’s beautiful weather.
And we stop by a delicious restaurant and
I’d be with our kids.
Our kids would be older and everybody would
be having a great time.
They would also be holding my arm and say,
“Thanks, Dad, for sending us here.
It’s great.
We love it.”
And everybody would give me a kiss, my children
and my wife that is, and all the Japanese
people, too.
And then we’d jump on a dragon and fly off
into the sky.
Vanessa: Wow.
That was really amazing.
Dan: And that’s my perfect day.
Vanessa: Especially the dragon part.
Okay.
Well, maybe I’ve had a couple sips of port
too much, but that was a wonderful day.
All right, let’s go to our next question.
Our next question is a little more serious
and it is what questions do you think that
partners should ask each other before getting
married?
So we’ve been married for 10 years.
Dan: Whoa.
Vanessa: 10, almost 10 and a half years.
Dan: Would you believe it, internet?
Vanessa: I know.
It’s amazing.
So we have a little experience, not as much
experience as a lot of people who’ve been
married a lot longer than us, but what do
you think?
Yeah.
What’s some things that couples should ask
each other?
Dan: Just one question or there’s just one
question.
Vanessa: What questions.
Dan: Okay.
Vanessa: Don’t say all of them because I have
to answer, too.
Dan: Well, I would probably start with, “If
you’re thinking about marriage, do you want
children?”
Vanessa: Hmm.
Dan: There you go.
And, “How many kids do you want?”
Vanessa: Okay.
Dan: Because if one person wants zero and
one person wants one or any variation of that,
it’s usually if somebody doesn’t want any
kids, then that could be a brick wall where
you don’t want to go any further.
Vanessa: We call that a deal-breaker-
Dan: A deal-breaker.
Vanessa: … a deal-breaker.
Yep.
Dan: And then number two would be money, like,
what’s your money expectations, who’s going
to work, when, how much are they going to
work.
Vanessa: Ah, like how much money are you going
to make?
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: Those expectations?
Dan: Or even how much you spend on stuff?
Like, what’s your goals financially?
Do you have financial goals, period?
Vanessa: Okay.
Dan: That’s what your dad asked me.
Vanessa: And when did you say?
Dan: I said, “I don’t know, sir.”
Vanessa: But you know what?
That’s one of our communication things that
we have communicated and step-by-step grown
together and figured it out.
Dan: And I left you with the harder ones.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: Yeah.
Do you have anything after that?
Vanessa: I think that it’s kind of connected
to yours.
The first one is, I think it’s really important
to talk about your expectations for your roles,
specifically gender roles.
And a lot of us maybe have parents who have
a traditional gender role situation where
the father goes to work and the mother stays
with the children, but for our generation,
it’s not exactly always like that.
There’s a lot of variations of that.
So for us, we both take care of our children
and we both teach you English and work on
this English teaching business.
So our life is a lot different than what our
parents traditionally had.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: So I think that it would be important
to talk about what do you expect me to do?
What do you expect you to do?
What do I expect of myself?
And then, in different stages of life, when
we have kids, what do we expect to do?
If we’re going to have kids, what do we expect?
So I think that those roles in general are
good to talk about.
But even more specifically, I remember when
we first got married, this might be a little
strong to say, but one of the best things
we did was just to say, “I do the dishes,
you do the laundry.”
Like this is so simple.
Dan: Clear separation.
Vanessa: Yeah.
But just having a really clear delegation
of this is my task, this is your task.
And we’re still working on that because every
stage in life is a little bit different.
But I think that having this accepted and
talked about role is really important instead
of just assuming, “Oh yeah, she’s going to
do it.
Oh yeah.
He’s going to do that.”
No, you should talk about it because it’s
always evolving and changing.
So yeah.
I think you should talk about your roles.
All right.
Let’s talk about our next question.
Dan: The next question is your house catches
on fire and you are running out the door and
you can only grab one thing.
What would it be and why?
Vanessa: I think that there’s more to this
question.
Dan: Is there?
Vanessa: It says after saving your loved ones
and all of your pets, you can make a final-
Dan: That’s a given.
Vanessa: … a final dash into your house
safely.
So we want to exclude all of these situations.
Your kids are safe.
Your loved ones are safe.
Your pets are safe and you can safely get
something else.
What would it be?
Dan: Okay.
Everybody else is out of the house already-
Vanessa: Yeah, yeah.
Dan: … including your little cat and dog
and your fish.
Vanessa: Yes, so what is, basically we’re
talking about an item, what is something that
you would grab.
Oh boy.
I think for some reason, my first instinct
with this question is to say in our closet
there is a box of my pictures from growing
up, of my journals from growing up.
Yeah.
These kind of personal mementos and it’s all
in one box.
So maybe it’s kind of cheating because I can
take the whole box.
But I think that maybe I would take this.
I don’t know in reality what I would actually
grab.
I’d probably grab something random, like a
house plant that I don’t care about.
I think in that moment of panic, you’d probably
do something not rational.
Dan: Can your phone be considered a loved
one?
Because I just automatically grab that.
Vanessa: Is your phone a loved one?
Dan: Well, I mean, if I’m only going to grab
one thing-
Vanessa: At the table and-
Dan: … like the second I get out of bed,
my hand would just grab the phone.
I don’t think it counts.
Vanessa: So are you saying that like-
Dan: We’re excluding our phone.
Vanessa: … if your phone is a loved one,
that at the family table, you have a chair
for you, a chair for your wife, a chair for
your kid and a chair for your phone, because
it’s a loved one?
Dan: Yeah, in the baby chair.
Vanessa: In the baby chair, okay.
All right.
Dan: Anyway.
Vanessa: So what would you bring if you-
Dan: Besides my phone?
Vanessa: Besides your phone, I guess.
Dan: Okay.
Vanessa: What would you take?
Dan: Well, so I’d probably be pretty practical.
I think I’d grab a box full of hard drives,
external hard drives.
Vanessa: Oh, okay.
Dan: Because we have all Vanessa’s old videos
that are not backed up on the internet and
all kinds of pictures that we don’t have anywhere.
Vanessa: That’s true.
Dan: And it’s digital, but it’s not on the
cloud.
I wouldn’t probably even grab a computer now
because most of the stuff is online in some
way or easily re-accessed.
Vanessa: Oh, like you can get your pictures
on Google Photos, but the pictures-
Dan: Not some of our old pictures.
Vanessa: … pictures that are on the hard
drive, you can’t get.
Dan: All of our pictures from South Korea.
Vanessa: Yeah.
All of that kind of stuff.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: Which kind of makes me think maybe
we should back that up.
Dan: Yeah, maybe we should, yeah.
Maybe, yeah.
Vanessa: Maybe we should put it in the cloud
somewhere or think about that.
Yeah.
Well, thank you YouTube video for making us
think about that.
Dan: My phone already ran out the door, so
don’t worry about-
Vanessa: Okay.
Dan: … him or her?
Vanessa: Your loved one?
Dan: They.
Vanessa: Oh, all right.
Let’s go to our next question.
The next question is a more personal one and
it is what is something that most people would
find surprising about you?
And when I say most people, I’m talking about
people who are watching here.
So those of you who are watching this video,
you’ve probably learned a lot about us personally
by watching these English lessons, even though
you’re also learning English.
But what do you think is something that our
students would find surprising about you?
Dan: Yeah, I think it would probably be that
I can occasionally be a little bit, I don’t,
depressive is strong, but I can be somber
or melodramatic perhaps.
Vanessa: Ah.
Yeah.
There’s ebbs and flows in life.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: And sometimes on those downs you
can be more sad.
Dan: Probably more in my teens and 20s though.
Since I’ve hit 30, I’m just stable as a rock,
as a boat in a still sea.
Vanessa: Okay.
Yeah.
I think that just shows, too, though that
everybody has different sides of themselves
and is a real human-
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: … not just a silly, happy all the
time, very normal.
Dan: I certainly present myself as very silly.
I mean, I enjoy being silly and I’m actually
generally a happy person, but I even kind
of revel in sadness a little bit.
Like I like to listen to sad songs a lot.
And I like to just like think and like be
sad-
Vanessa: Just as an example-
Dan: … be like not grumpy, just, yeah.
I don’t really know the right, it’s not quite
sadness.
It’s more just like-
Vanessa: Blue.
Dan: … dramatic or blue.
Yes.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Just as an example, Dan likes to create playlists,
which are kind of like different songs that
he can listen to that are grouped together.
And one of his playlists is songs for feeling
blue.
So when Dan is feeling a little sad, he likes
to listen to sad music.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: And this is-
Dan: Or even when I’m feeling happy, honestly.
Vanessa: Really?
Dan: Sure.
Vanessa: Oh.
This is absolutely not like me.
Dan: I love sad music.
Vanessa: I am not like that at all.
When I feel sad, I’m trying to do everything
possible to get rid of the sadness, not to
kind of be in that moment.
Dan: I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you sad.
Vanessa: Really?
Dan: I mean, not often.
Vanessa: Yeah, I guess so.
Dan: We’ve been married 10 years.
Vanessa: Yeah.
I think there’s been-
Dan: She’s not a low person at all.
Vanessa: There’s been very few times where-
Dan: I mean, you could probably tell.
Vanessa: … it’s kind of stayed in my life.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: Usually it’s just a moment or like
it’s usually more-
Dan: Usually when you drink wine.
Vanessa: Uh-oh.
Am I going to be-
Dan: That’s the only times I can really remember
you saying-
Vanessa: Am I going to be blue?
Dan: … “I feel like bummed,” or sad or something.
Vanessa: Ah.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: Sometimes red wine especially makes
me feel a little bummed, but how I would answer
this question, something that you might find
surprising about me, is that I think that
I have a pretty strong nihilistic streak.
This is-
Dan: But she’s a very happy nihilist.
Vanessa: Yeah.
So nihilism kind of means that you think it’s
all pointless.
There’s no meaning.
Why would this matter?
And kind of the feeling that there’s no hope.
Dan: Yeah.
If I get charged up about politics or something,
she just kind of shrugs her shoulders.
Vanessa: Right.
Well, it’s all, of course it’s not going to
work.
Of course everyone’s corrupt.
Dan: Yeah, the sun’s going to die eventually.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Nothing’s going to happen like this kind of
negative outlook, but at the same time-
Dan: She’s more cynical than you would expect.
Vanessa: It doesn’t make me feel depressed
to think like that.
I try to find some hope in nihilism.
Dan: Maybe Zen is a better word, yeah.
Vanessa: Maybe by saying that-
Dan: Like a Buddhist kind of approach.
Vanessa: … if, for example, if I feel like
there’s some big world concept that is potentially
going to ruin the world, I don’t know.
It’s the year 2020.
There has been many things like this.
Dan: We’re going down, folks.
Vanessa: Many things that have happened this
year where everyone feels like the world is
ending.
But for me I feel like, “Okay, well, if everything
bad happens, the best thing I can do is to
maintain a positive family.
And if my family is doing something positive,
the rest of the world might be going down,
but this is my small circle of influence.”
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: “And I can influence this small circle
and that’s about it.”
So I feel, yeah, so sometimes I can feel nihilistic.
Dan: But you’re influencing them out there.
Vanessa: Yes.
But I think that-
Dan: Maybe a little bit?
I don’t know.
Vanessa: We have much more influence on our
family than we do on people on the internet.
Dan: She doesn’t do this YouTube thing for
influence necessarily.
Vanessa: No.
If I could do it anonymously, that would be
nice.
Like I said, I want a private life.
Dan: You do want to help people, though-
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: … but it’s like not in the influence
kind of way, if you know what I mean, lifestyle.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Well, needless to say, I do have a nihilistic
streak in me, even though I do feel generally
pretty positive.
I think I can maintain positivity even though
I do feel nihilistic about a lot of things.
All right, let’s go to our next question.
Dan: The next question is if you could wake
up tomorrow and gain one quality or ability,
what would it be?
Vanessa: Hmm.
It might be a little selfish to say this because
it’s not one quality, but one ability that
I would like to have, can I choose something
magical?
Dan: Hmm.
Okay.
Yeah.
Vanessa: Is I would love-
Dan: There are no rules here.
Vanessa: Okay.
I would love to be able to snap my fingers
and our family would appear in a different
location.
Dan: Whoa.
Oh, like-
Vanessa: This means that there is no need
for travel.
Dan: … teleportation.
Vanessa: Yes.
We could instantly, boom, be in Tokyo.
Boom, be in Rio de Janeiro.
Boom, be at my parents' house.
Boom, be at your parents' house.
Oh, wouldn’t it be amazing.
Dan: Your parents' house.
Vanessa: Your parents' house.
It would be so great because just that travel
process.
I love, like we said, we like to travel and
go places and have adventures, but sometimes
the travel part of it, sometimes we say travel
is a curse.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: We love to be there, but we don’t
like to get there.
Dan: I mean, it could be kind of fun.
But planning for traveling is not fun.
Vanessa: Yeah.
I’m sure there’s plenty of other things that
I would actually really like to do if I had
a genie with a magic lamp and I could gain
one quality or ability, but this is the first
thing that came to my mind.
And also I drank a couple sips of this wine,
port, so that was my answer.
Dan: So, she wants to teleport to the wine
shop.
Vanessa: No, I don’t.
We probably drink-
Dan: Is that what you do when you teleport?
Vanessa: I probably drink alcohol maybe once
a month, maybe less.
Dan: Yeah, once a month is about right.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Maybe one glass of wine once a month, so they
might say I’m a lightweight.
What about you?
What is one quality or ability that you would
like to have?
Dan: Hmm.
So I was thinking about this and first I thought
invisibility.
It’s kind of cliche, but-
Vanessa: Classic.
Dan: … I think I would rather have, probably
a lot of you have watched Star Wars.
Do you remember in the original Star Wars
where Ben Kenobi walks up to the Stormtrooper
and says, and he like waves his hand and basically
hypnotizes them and just like kind of makes
them do what he wants.
Vanessa: Oh, my Gosh.
Dan: “We are not the travelers you’re looking
for.”
Vanessa: Oh, yeah.
He says something like that.
Dan: That thing.
“You will let me into the building.”
I would do that.
Vanessa: You already said you want to be king.
You want to have influence, now you want people
to do what you want.
Dan: No, it’s not that I want to trick them.
It’s that I want to find out things.
I would go to the White House and I would
go to the guards and I’d be like, “I belong
here.”
And then I would go into-
Vanessa: In my cat sweater, I belong here.
Dan: … the White House and I’d go up to
Donald Trump for now.
Eventually it will be Joe Biden, I guess,
or whoever.
I don’t know.
And I’d be like, “I belong here.”
Vanessa: Tell me all your secrets.
Dan: Yeah.
“You will tell me what you’re really thinking.”
Or I’d go up to like a CIA agent or something.
“You will show me your secret vaults.”
And then I would have all the knowledge and
then knowledge is power.
Vanessa: And you would rule the world.
Dan: No, I’d be like a journalist kind of
guy.
I’d reveal it to the world.
Unless what I found was so dangerous, which
I assume there’s probably something super
dangerous out there.
Then I’d be like, “Nevermind.
I’m not sharing this with the world.”
And everybody would go crazy.
Vanessa: Aha.
Dan: Which is probably what they’re thinking.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: See, this is where my mind goes.
Vanessa: So I think we’re kind of different
on this.
Dan: So, maybe instant hypnotism.
Hypnotism.
Vanessa: Oh.
As long as you are someone using your powers
for good.
Dan: I would use it for good, guys.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Because there’s also a lot of bad that can
be done in that situation.
Dan: That’s true.
“You will off the building.”
Vanessa: “You will give me all of your money.”
Dan: Oh, yeah.
I didn’t even think of that.
Vanessa: Good.
That’s good.
Dan: That’s how you know I’d use my power
for good.
Vanessa: Yes.
Let’s go to our last question.
Our final question is what do you feel the
most grateful for in life?
Dan: I have only cliche answers for this,
but they’re cliche because they’re true.
I am very grateful that I have a fantastic,
amazing wife.
Yeah, you guys have no idea.
Although you might have an idea.
Hmm.
And healthy children, great children, fantastic
children, fantastic baby.
And good health myself.
There you go.
Vanessa: That’s great.
Dan: That’s the trifecta.
Vanessa: Hmm.
Yeah.
Well, I was thinking those things-
Dan: And then she thought.
Vanessa: Of course, I have a wonderful husband
and children, but I also think that-
Dan: She loves our minivan.
Vanessa: It is this Christmas tree.
I’m just kidding.
It’s not that Christmas tree.
I think that something that kind of brings
all of this together is I’m very extremely
grateful for our job.
Dan: I was going to say you guys.
Vanessa: Well, you were highly included in
that because without you, we wouldn’t have
a job teaching English.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: But I think it’s true that yes, we
can have a great husband or kids or health,
but if you can’t spend time together, then
it’s kind of sad, right?
Dan: Yes.
Vanessa: So because of this job, we can work
from home.
We can work for ourselves, If it’s a beautiful
day outside, we throw away work and go outside
and go for a hike.
If it’s raining or an awful day outside, we
do work.
So it’s so flexible that, thanks to you, that
we can really spend time together.
And that’s what I love to do the most.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: So being able to have this kind of
open-ended lifestyle, where we’re doing something
that we like, something creative, where at
9:00 PM, 10:00 PM at night, we can sit in
front of our Christmas tree and drink wine
and ask silly questions to each other and
I hope you watch it, but we get to do that.
And we also get to, because of that, we also
get to spend time with each other.
So I think that I’m really grateful for this
job.
So, thank you.
Dan: Yeah.
Vanessa: Thank you everyone.
I’m grateful for you.
Dan: And none of this would be possible without
the internet.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dan: So, really we should be grateful for
the internet.
Vanessa: Wow.
Thank you, internet.
Yes.
Dan: Thank you, internet.
Vanessa: So on that note, I would like to
thank you so much for watching this conversation
and thank you, Dan, for joining me.
Dan: You’re welcome.
I hope it wasn’t too crazy.
Vanessa: Yes.
I hope this is interesting and useful to you
for vocabulary, for grammar, for your listening
skills.
If you would like to take your listening skills
to the next level, maybe you watched this
conversation and you thought, “Yeah, I understand
Dan and Vanessa pretty well, but I can’t understand
movies and TV shows.
I can understand them, but I can’t understand
other people.”
Well, I have some good news.
I would like to invite you to join us in our
course, the 30 Day English Listening Challenge.
On December 22nd, we are going to be opening
the Pack 5 of the Listening Challenge, which
means that we’ve done this for five years
in a row.
Amazing.
At the end of every year, we open the Listening
Challenge, a new version of the Listening
Challenge.
And that means that in the month of January,
I will give you a new listening lesson every
day.
And that will challenge your listening skills
and help you to build your knowledge.
So I hope that you’ll be able to join us.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Let us know in the comments some answers to
these questions so that we can learn more
about each other and get to know you.
Dan: Yes.
Let us know the most embarrassing moments
of your life.
Vanessa: Yes.
Please let us know on the internet, in the
comment section.
That will be great.
Well, thank you so much for learning English
with us and we’ll see you again next Friday
for a new lesson here on my YouTube channel.
Bye.
Dan: Bye.
Okay.
The next question is your houch, your houch.
Dang it.
All right.
I’m not moving.
Vanessa: So, on that note-
Dan: I wasn’t ready.
Wait, I’m not still not ready.
Okay.
I’m ready now.
It is 20% (alcohol), you know?
Vanessa: That was a lot.
You’re like, “And then we all get on a
dragon and fly away?!
I was not expecting that.
Dan: I know.
Well, I said everybody was kissing me, so
I thought I should be absurd at the end.
Hide your puppies.
Vanessa: What?
My puppies?
Dan: She’s a nihilist.
Vanessa: A nihilist doesn’t mean you’re a
murderer.
Dan: Will to power.
Oh, the word’s mind control.
Vanessa: You want to have mind control?
Dan: Oh, I’m just listening to you.
Vanessa: Thank you.
Dan: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Vanessa: All right.
Let’s say our next-
Dan: I’m going to move on to yours.
Vanessa: Hey, that’s mine.
Dan: You drink too slow.
Vanessa: No, I’m also talking and trying to
organize a video at the same time.
Dan: I save all my sips for in between.
It’s so easy.
It’s my wife.
Vanessa: Oh, I wasn’t going to say you.
Dan: I was going to say my precious couch.
Vanessa: This wine.
Dan: This Christmas tree, this table that
I found at a flea market.
I am so, I love you.
Grateful.
Vanessa: The next step is to download my free
ebook Five Steps To Becoming a Confident English
Speaker.
You’ll learn what you need to do to speak
confidently and fluently.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
for more free lessons.
Thanks so much.
Bye.